20 Scottie
20
Final Girl – CHVRCHES
There was one fundamental issue with Nico’s plan to talk me through the game: there were only four seats around the garden table.
At first, he offered to stand, help me from over my shoulder. A perfectly reasonable solution that I fought. Nobody takes a seat away from another person without arguing about it. I offered to sit on the ground, or even go find another chair, maybe drag one outside from the dining room. Then, with a smug smile I couldn’t quite understand, Inés piped up.
‘Why don’t you sit on Nico’s lap?’ she oh-so-innocently suggested.
And why wouldn’t I sit on Nico? Why wouldn’t that be the weirdest thing in the world to make a comfy seat out of my teammate’s lap? Maybe it was the way he looked at me in the kitchen as he told me he trusted me, the way his fingers brushed my hair back behind my ear. Maybe it was the fact I liked it far too much.
Now there I was, sat on Nico’s lap, like this was a normal thing to do around other people. Like this was a normal thing to do for us.
He held the cards out in front of us, explaining how the game should be played, while his head rested above my shoulder, his chest pressed into my side.
‘If you look in the middle,’ he murmured into my ear, trying to keep our hand a secret from everyone else in the game. His breath was hot against my neck, and I had to suppress a shiver from running down my back. ‘You can see we have a straight.’ His finger flicked the corner of two cards he held.
I nodded my head as he continued to explain the rules in a whisper. I had to stop myself from fidgeting, wriggling around and digging into his lap with my thigh bones. This was awkward as hell, and I had somehow been convinced to agree to it.
‘I’ll play this hand, explain the logic, and you can play the next one,’ he said, his voice sounding slightly hoarse.
‘Sure.’ My own words were filled with apprehension, trying to keep the contact to a minimum so I wouldn’t focus on how good his body felt against mine again. The taut muscles of his torso, the firmness of his legs. Even if I didn’t dare look at his face too closely, it was impossible not to notice how good he looked. Long eyelashes framed grey eyes, a ring of sea green around his iris was visible now that I was so close to him, and a jaw so sharp it cut its own way into my memory and had me longing to trace it with my finger, to feel the rough edge of his stubble against my skin.
‘Alright, let’s keep this interesting. We’ll bet twenty.’ Nico confidently threw a couple chips into the middle of the table.
Dylan scoffed, sitting up straight in her chair as she eyed Nico behind me. ‘Only twenty? Not feeling too confident, Kotas?’ I stiffened further as her eyes glanced past me, narrowing in an all too familiar way. She didn’t need to tell me I wasn’t welcome; I could read it all over her face.
Nico’s response was a soft grumble I felt reverberating against my back. ‘Put your money where your mouth is, Bailey.’
Her attention slid back to Nico as she smirked. ‘Big words.’ The large pile of chips in front of her told me that Nico was correct when he said she’d been cleaning them out all night. She lifted a couple of dark blue coins and tossed them into the middle. ‘Make it fifty.’
Nico’s body straightened against mine, shifting with surprise, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from thinking about how good it felt to have Nico Kotas underneath me. The muscles of his thighs stiffened and the fight against the distraction was back to square one.
Inés shifted in her chair, letting out a puff of nervous breath. ‘I guess I call the fifty.’
‘Same.’ Henrik shrugged, his cards face down on the table as if he had already given up. They both looked like they’d seen easier times, apprehensive, but matching Dylan’s bet, anyway.
The game continued, the next card on the table turning to reveal a three of hearts. I knew, from what little Nico had explained that I had actually managed to pay attention to, this wasn’t very good for our hand. And if Dylan’s growing smirk wasn’t a bluff, then it was very good for hers.
Nico moved again, this time, his arm wrapped behind my body, fingers pressing against my lower back as if to support me. I wanted to melt into the touch, the feel of his hand on my back, even over my clothing, making me weak. I fought the urge to curl into him. To feel his broad hands not only on me, but trailing along any exposed skin, feeling over every curve and trace every part of my body.
Instead, I stilled, not daring to move a muscle Frightened that if I did, he’d remove his hand, and I’d be left with nothing but the ghost of the memory of his touch.
Focusing on anything that wasn’t Nico, I watched as Dylan raised her bet, throwing a few more chips into the centre. That was more than enough for Inés and Henrik, as they threw their cards down on the table, folding under the pressure. That left only Nico and Dylan.
Dylan’s dark eyes were challenging, a look I’d been on the end of more than a dozen times across the court while we both waited to exploit the other’s moment of weakness. But for once it wasn’t me that she was staring at.
‘Well,’ Nico said, sounding rather confident. ‘Let’s see what you’ve got.’
Dylan lowered her cards, her grin unmoving as she spread them out for all to see. ‘Three of a kind. Queens.’
Nico laid his cards out, revealing the straight he held. The confidence drained quickly from her face, and her lip curled in frustration. She stood up, pushing the chips across the table toward Nico. He thanked her, stretching over me to sort out his winnings. Dylan sunk back into her chair, grabbing her phone from the table, her pursed lips giving way as she scrolled through her notifications.
‘Think you know the rules well enough to play?’ Nico asked me. ‘According to this,’ Dylan said, interrupting my reply. ‘She might need a little more practice in understanding the concept of rules.’
All attention turned back to her, her phone screen directed towards us displaying the homepage of the Daily Tea. The headline was clear for everyone to see: Scottie’s Shocking Blood Test Results Serves Doubts on Comeback.
My heart sank into my stomach. How did they find out about the test? Jon said he’d keep it under wraps, he’d protect me. But … this? Nico’s hand wrapped around my waist as he pushed us up out of the seat, everyone around the table leaning forward to read the screen.
‘Once a cheat, always a cheat,’ Dylan said.
I couldn’t breathe as I blurted, ‘It’s not what it looks like.’
She raised an eyebrow, a sick satisfaction curled onto her lips. ‘It looks like a failed test, Scottie. Are you seriously denying this?’
‘I’ve done nothing.’ My hand curled into a fist, fingernails pressing into the palm of my hand, pushing until I found my resolve in the pain.
I turned around to find Nico, his face tightened, sharp jaw clenched.
‘Did you know about this?’ He asked, his stoney eyes searched mine for an answer, his large shoulder squared. I considered lying, pretending this was the first I’d heard of it. But what good would another lie do? I took a deep breath in, searching for any conviction but finding none.
‘Yes,’ I answered honestly. ‘I knew the test was a fail.’
Dylan’s response was immediate, ‘I told you!’
‘But Jon is disputing it; the test is wrong.’ I shook my head, trying to hold his gaze, even as the weight of his disappointment began to feel unbearable. ‘I haven’t taken anything that—’
‘How are we supposed to believe you?’ Dylan asked. Irritation pricked at my skin as I turned to her, finding her leaning forward, fists pressed against the table where her cards laid forgotten.
Dylan had been wronged; I knew that. And as far as she and the entire world were concerned, I was the one who had wronged her. It had been my choice to take the blame. I didn’t make this mess, but I had tried my best to clean it up. That title had been stolen from her, but my entire life had been taken from me.
Instead of giving into her, I turned to another. ‘Inés, you were there for the test.’ She had taken a step back from the table, as if trying to stay out of the conversation. ‘Did I seem like somebody worried about failing a test?’
She bit her lip, thinking to herself for a moment. ‘You were nervous, but … I didn’t think it was because you were afraid of the result.’
Dylan threw her hands up, groaning. ‘Why are we even debating this?’
This time, I couldn’t help but snap. ‘I could ask the same question. This is medical data. It’s my test, and it’s been leaked.’
I realized for the first time that, yet again, something else had been stolen from me. First my body, now my private information. Did I have any right to a choice in this, or should I have continued to be exploited at every turn?
‘I can’t believe you kept this from me,’ Nico said, taking a step away, his body shifting from side to side with hurt and indecision.
‘We knew the test wasn’t right.’ I scrambled to help him understand the deep regret I had for not following my instinct of just being honest with him.
‘We?’
I started, ‘Jon and I, we didn’t want you to—’
His body jolted with a sudden strike of anger, his patience running thin. ‘To what? Think my mixed partner was cheating again?’
‘Nico.’ I had to make him understand, get him to trust me enough to see this test wasn’t correct. Something wasn’t right here at all. The failed test, the leaked result … What was going on?
‘You kept this from me. What am I supposed to believe?’ he practically growled, his hands curled in, the lines of his biceps defined by flexed frustration. I hated this. Seeing him so angry at me, so distrusting. It hurt.
‘Me,’ I cried, unable to hold myself back now. ‘You’re supposed to believe me. All these weeks and you think I would do this?’ His chest rose up and down, his focus fixed on me, as if he was reading me, trying to align what he knew with what he had been told. I sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to pull myself together again. ‘I’ve never touched drugs, I’ve never taken anythin—’
‘But that’s a lie,’ Dylan hissed, her eyes narrowed. I clocked my mistake, the slip of the tongue that revealed more truth than I’d intended.
I shook my head, not trusting myself to clarify the wording. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘You can’t even keep your story straight,’ she continued. ‘I don’t know why Jon let you come here. Why do people pretend like you deserve a place here? You aren’t anything like us. You’re a fraud and a liar, and we only have more proof of it.’
I felt every word she said, the wound from where I’d been ripped open by the betrayal like a raw scar, stinging with every accusation. There was nothing I could say to her that would help her believe me. She had no reason to. Defeated, I instead turned to Nico, my last ace in hand.
‘We’ve been here. Every day for weeks. I’ve been nothing but truthful with you. I’ve never lied. Everything with Matteo, every single story. I didn’t tell you about the result because there was no way it was true. If you still believe I would do this to you, fine. Then let this be over because I’d rather play alone at this point than with somebody who couldn’t believe me when I’m honest.’ My voice was a desperate plea, but he was silent, lips pressed into a thin line.
I’d had enough of being hurt and disparaged. I’d done this before, seen headlines calling me a liar, a cheat, a slut. I’d lived through this, and I had no intention of doing it again. I’d let them in the past, but not anymore. They couldn’t hurt me more than I’d already been, and I wasn’t going to stand there and let anyone try again.
I stood straight, shoulders back as I dug into that strength I held onto, the one I’d never allow anyone to take away from me again. I spoke again. ‘I’m not a liar, Kotas. I promise you that.’
And then I walked away.