26. Lilian
Chapter 26
Lilian
“There.” Gemma smooths the fabric over my waist. “Perfect.”
I glance at my reflection in the mirror, and heat floods my cheeks. The black satin plunges low, emphasizing my cleavage, and the bunny ears atop my head look ridiculous on me. Gemma and Mary stand beside me, dressed in the same.
“Seriously?” I exhale, looking down at the revealing outfit. “When you said costumes, I didn’t think Playboy bunnies.”
Mary grins. “You look hot.”
“You really think so?” I tug at the hem in a vain attempt to cover more skin.
“You do.” Gemma adjusts my bunny ears, giving me an encouraging tap on my bare shoulder. “It’s a costume party. Everyone will be wearing something slutty. So there’s no need to feel nervous. ”
“But—”
“If you really feel uncomfortable, we can wear something else,” Mary says.
“No, it’s fine.” One night. Heat surges through me. Will Sebastian like it?
Mary loops her arm through mine. “You’re rocking this outfit. Now, come on, let’s go downstairs and have some fun!”
“Wait. Let’s take a selfie first.” They wrap their arms around my shoulders, and Gemma extends her arm, angling her phone to capture all three of us. “Smile, girls!”
I squeeze in close to them. As Gemma snaps a few photos, I find myself smiling more genuinely, feeling more comfortable. A little more daring.
“Okay, I’m picking this one to post.” Gemma tilts her phone to show us a particularly good shot of the three of us laughing together, looking carefree and sexy.
“Alright, now that we’ve immortalized this moment, let’s go have some fun!” Mary ushers us out of Gemma’s room.
The music grows louder with each step until we emerge in the throng of costumed party people downstairs.
I nod, swallowing hard.
Fun.
I can do this.
It’s just a costume.
My eyes dart around the room, searching for any sign of Sebastian. Where is he ?
A guy in a toga leers at me, his gaze raking over my barely covered body. I cross my arms over my chest. This costume wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Drinks first!” Mary leads us through the crowd.
“Cheers to a fantastic evening and unapologetically being our badass selves!” Gemma says.
We clink our glasses, taking sips of the sweet punch. Alcohol. Definitely alcohol in there. But it’s way better than the beer at college.
A pop song with a heavy bassline starts to play, and Gemma drags us onto the dance floor, her hair whipping around her as she spins. Mary joins in and I shift from side to side.
I sway my hips to the rhythm, trying to mimic Gemma’s moves, but my body is stiff. Would my mother be better at this? Probably, if everyone loved her. She was the life of the party.
“You’re thinking too much.” Mary’s hands grasp mine as she guides our movements together.
The pulsing music thrums through my body, and I let her lead, trying to relax into the rhythm. Easier said than done. My hips sway side to side, but I’m like a graceless imitation next to her fluid motions. Gemma dances nearby, lost in her own world, a carefree expression on her face.
I wish I could lose myself like that. Let go of the nagging thoughts and insecurities always lurking at the edges of my mind. The alcohol buzzes through my veins, but my movements are still stiff. Restrained .
Mary spins me outward and then back in. “Remember, tonight you’re not Lil. You’re a sexy as fuck bunny!”
A laugh bubbles up my throat at her words. She’s right. I can let loose. There is no one here to judge me. Not my uncle, not my brothers, who certainly wouldn’t let me out of the house like this, and not Jason.
Tonight, I can be someone else. Slowly, my body starts to loosen, finding the beat. We sway and spin together, giggling when we bump into each other. Gemma shimmies over, and as a trio, we dance like no one is watching.
The song ends, and we collapse against each other, breathless and giddy.
“Okay, I need another drink after all that dancing,” Mary says. “Who’s with me?”
“Lead the way!” Gemma links her arm through Mary’s.
I follow them off the dance floor, my earlier nervousness replaced by a warm glow of happiness.
“What in the f is my sister doing here?” Mary darts across the room, grabbing a young girl by the arm.
The girl scowls, trying to shake her off. “Let go of me, Mar!”
“What are you doing here?” Mary doesn’t let go.
Her sister rolls her eyes. “The same thing as you, obviously.”
“You’re too young to be at a party like this.” Mary’s tone is firm. “Go home.”
“Or what? You’ll tell Mom?” She gestures at Mary’s bunny costume. “I’m sure she’d love to hear about how her precious daughter is dressed right now. ”
Mary’s face pales, and she glances down at her outfit. “Fine. But you’re not drinking, got it?”
“Whatever.” Her sister tugs her arm free and disappears into the crowd.
Mary turns back to us, her expression tight. “Sisters, right?”
I nod. I’ve never had a sister, but I’m sure Lan and Levi would drag me out of here in an instant.
Gemma rests a hand on Mary’s shoulder. “She’ll be okay.”
“I hope so.” Mary shakes her head. “Come on, let’s have those drinks.”
We make our way to the bar, and I catch Sebastian, Connor, and Brandon walking in.
Sebastian looks incredibly sexy in his dark mafiosi costume, which highlights his sharp, chiseled features. He keeps to the edge of the party, maintaining a distance. Seconds later, a stunning blonde dressed as Audrey Hepburn glides up beside him, her cold expression only adding to her elegance. He meets her with that signature smile of his.
I shift on my feet. “Who’s that?”
Gemma follows my gaze. “Oh, that’s Anne. She’s a friend of Sebastian’s.” She takes a sip of her drink. “You know Naomi, right? Anne’s her older sister.”
“They seem close.”
“Why? You interested?”
Heat crawls up my neck. “What? No. They don’t seem like just friends, that’s all. ”
“Uhm, well. They’ve known each other since they were kids.” Gemma glances over at Sebastian and Anne, then back to me. “And a few years ago, there were some jokes about them getting married someday.”
My stomach twists. “Married?”
She shrugs. “Yeah, you know, like an arranged marriage type of thing. But it was really just a rumor to be honest. They’ve never been a couple or anything, and he never saw her like that. Not like… Well, it’s nothing.”
Arranged marriage? My eyes are glued to Sebastian and Anne, so at ease with each other. He had never mentioned anything like that. But then again… I didn’t either. So, it was probably nothing serious.
Sebastian spots me, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips as his eyes skate down my body.
I grab my drink and down the rest. “I need some air.”
Gemma frowns. “Lil, wait—”
But I’m already pushing through the crowd. Away from the sight of Sebastian with someone else.
What was I thinking? Dressing up like this for him?
Uncle Marc wouldn’t let me have any boyfriend I want.
A man in a toga bumps into me, jostling my arm. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry.”
I look up to find him staring down at me, a charming smile on his face. “It’s fine.”
“I’m Elliot.” He holds out his hand. “And you are…?”
“Lil,” I offer with a shy smile, not taking his hand .
“Nice to meet you.” He retreats his hand, his gaze traveling over my costume. “That outfit. 10 out of 10.”
“Oh, uh, I wasn’t quite sure about it,” I stammer, glancing away. As flattered as I am by the attention, my heart belongs to someone else.
My eyes search the room again for Sebastian, but he’s disappeared into the crowd, and disappointment wells in my chest. He didn’t even try to come speak with me. Maybe he’s really planning to end things.
“Why don’t we grab a drink and get to know each other better?” he asks.
This feels wrong.
“She’s not interested.” Gemma appears at my side. “Go hit on someone else.”
“Fine. My mistake. See ya.” With a polite nod, he disappears back into the crowd.
My cheeks are burning again, humiliation sinking deep into my bones. When will I learn to speak up for myself?
“Thanks for the save,” I say.
“Don’t let guys like that bother you,” Gemma says. “He’s not worth it.”
I nod, though her words do little to ease my discomfort. Perhaps some time alone is what I need after all.
“I think I’ll go upstairs,” I say quietly.
She squeezes my arm. “Do you want me to come with you? ”
“No, it’s fine. I need to go to the toilet. I’ll be down right after.” I attempt my best happy face ever to reassure her. “Stay and have fun.”
“Okay… but if something is wrong, come and find us?”
“Yes.”
I slip past the party crowd, climbing the stairs as fast as my heels allow, and stumble into my room, collapsing back against the door and burying my face in my hands.
What am I doing? This party, this ridiculous costume… I want to talk to Sebastian. If he even wants me anymore.
Wait. The sound of running water catches my attention, and I lift my head.
This isn’t my room.
It’s similar, but it lacks Sloan’s warmth and personal touches. The bed sheets are dark, and the furniture is all sleek metal and sharp angles. The only thing giving this room some personality is the punching bag hanging from the ceiling.
And then I spot it. The college jacket draped over a chair.
This must be Sebastian’s room.
I stand up, my legs shaky beneath me. The sound of running water draws me closer, and I peek inside.
Steam fills the bathroom, fogging up the glass shower door. But through the haze, I see him. Unsure if I’m imagining things, I blink. But no, Sebastian stands under the shower stream.
Naked.
Water cascades over the hard, sculpted planes of his back, tracing the contours of his muscles before pooling at the curve of his ass. Each droplet sparkles in the light, creating tiny rivers that race down his legs. One of his hands is braced against the tiled wall, and his strong thighs flex and shift as he moves under the spray.
Look away. This is private. I should leave. Now.
But I’m rooted to the spot, my feet refusing to obey the command. My heart pounds in my chest, each beat a deafening drum.
He turns slightly, and my eyes widen. His hand is wrapped around his cock, stroking with a deliberate, leisurely rhythm. A low groan rumbles in his chest, barely audible over the sound of the water. It’s a sound of raw need, of unfiltered desire.
I’ve never seen a man touch himself like this before. Never seen Sebastian like this. It’s…
I bite my lip, transfixed by the way his head is tipped back, exposing the strong line of his neck, the rise and fall of his chest, and the play of his abs as his hand moves with increasing speed.
My body responds with a traitorous eagerness, a needy ache building between my thighs. I press them together, hoping to quell the rising tide of arousal. But it only makes it worse, making me more aware of every tingling nerve.
This is so wrong. An invasion of his privacy. I shouldn’t do this. But I can’t look away. Can’t stop the rush of thoughts and fantasies that flood my mind. My heart races faster, my breathing shallow and quick .
He twists his wrist on each upstroke, his fingers tightening, and I can almost feel the heat of his skin, the slickness of the water.
What would it feel like to have his hands on me as the water rains down on us? To have him…
A soft whimper escapes my lips before I have a chance to stifle it. Sebastian’s head snaps to me, his eyes cutting through the steamy glass with a predator’s intensity, locking onto mine.
Time seems to stop, and the world narrows to the small, fogged-up rectangle of the shower door and the green of his eyes.
Oh, no.