31. Zoe
THIRTY-ONE
Zoe
“ T hese are a Godsend.” I stand in the heart of Florist Shop, soft lights illuminating the vibrant colors of loose flowers scattered around foldout worktables Amelia saved us with, carting them from her garage to give us more space to create this unusually large order.
As grateful as I am for her contribution, and for the talent and personality of my team of two, working on these arrangements with Amelia and Perry would have, under other circumstances, made my heart sing with joy. Today it’s like a rock. The kind that sinks you.
How does it feel to be in jail?
Is he cold?
Could I bring him a blanket?
A warm meal?
Do they allow that?
“Zoe, can you pass me those peonies?” Amelia calls out from the next table, her bright and cheerful voice a stark contrast to the shadowy darkness in which I’m living.
Lifting the soft pink flowers carefully from years of habit, I walk them over, forcing a smile onto my face. “Here you go.” My voice is quieter than I intended. Amelia looks up at me with worry in her pretty eyes. To make her feel better I compliment her work, “That bouquet would soften even the hardest heart.”
Her face lights up. “Thanks Boss! Coming from you, that’s an honor.”
Perry, on the other side at a table of his own, is deep in concentration, brow furrowed as he assembles a towering centerpiece. “We’re going to need more of these,” he mumbles, holding up a handful of white roses. “The lead table has to be perfect.” Under his breath he adds, “Still can’t believe you gave me this one to craft!”
He’s right to be surprised. That centerpiece would normally have been under my care, but I am feeling the opposite of inspired today. Addressing his need for roses I answer, “There are more in the refrigerated room. I’ll get them,” trying to shake gloomy thoughts away from my mind.
“Are you okay, Zoe?” Amelia’s voice breaks through, stopping my journey.
“Oh, I was just thinking about how much we have to do,” I lie, forcing another smile. “It’s a great opportunity and I’m hoping we will make a good impression.”
Amelia throws her arms into the air, “We’ve got this! We just need to stay focused and let inspiration rule the day. I love that you decided to make all the bouquets originals. So common to have them all matching. Who wants common?”
“We make a great team,” I say, implying that if it weren’t for their jumping in with full commitment to the idea, it wouldn’t have worked. Amelia and Perry are talented, too, able to pull this off. I hope Florist Shop will have a lasting impression on the guests tomorrow night. Now, if I could just get excited about it!
My feet trudge to the refrigerated room and I fill a milk-crate with more white roses for Perry, plus some greenery for me. I was running out.
At my table, I start arranging eucalyptus in a vase, determination edging my voice. “Everything will be beautiful for the dinner. It’s important to Caleb.”
My staff exchange a look, and I know why. I’d shared the story of my engagement, and they’re worried about me.
Perry mutters, “Marrying a rich guy is what everyone wants…even me. So why aren’t you smiling, Zoe?”
“I don’t know why everyone is so caught up on money.” At their rolled eyes I can’t help but smile, but assert, “I get it! I took out a loan to start this business that I’m still paying for. I am very careful about what I spend, and I live below my means in order to get by and save a little, so I do get the appeal of having financial freedom. However!”
Perry mutters a sarcastic, “Yeah, can’t wait to keep paying bills forever.”
“However,” I repeat and continue, “When you’re paying bills, you’re paying for freedom. I have this loan, sure, but how I run the business is up to me. The bank isn’t telling me how to. They just want to be paid back. So this place is completely how I want it to be. But say someone else paid for it, like a husband…”
Amelia smiles, “Which he will!”
“No, he won’t. I told Caleb I don’t want his money.”
Perry blinks at me. “What?!”
“If Caleb paid off my loan, he might push me further to have my shop look more ‘up-scale’ or ‘elegant,’ as he called it. His taste. And he’d have a right to enforce his opinion and desires for Florist Shop because he paid for it. With the bank loan, it’s my money paying it off. My control. My decisions. Does that make sense? I have more financial freedom taking out a loan than I do having someone pay for me who could then control my business because it’s theirs. Their money. Not my money. Get it?”
“Ew,” Perry mutters, fine-tuning the enormous centerpiece. “You cannot give up control of this place. I love it the way it is!”
Amelia asks with careful curiosity. “Then why marry him?”
I stare at the floor. “He’s very nice. Handsome. And…he needs me.”
The hours pass into a blur of colors and scents, our normal laughter all but missing from our work, even as we share stories to spend well our time. I love my team, the camaraderie between us, and for a little while, their positive energy lightens the heaviness in my heart. But thinking of Tom alone in his cell, as the clock ticks closer to quitting time, and we’re not finished with all we have to do, the weight returns. I got here late, and they needed direction. Other orders had to be filled before we got started, too.
Amelia pulls me from my thoughts as I leave my table for the refrigerated room. “Zoe, while you’re back there, can you please grab more lilies from the fridge? We’re running low again.”
“Sure,” I mumble and pause as Florist Shop’s bell roars the arrival of a new customer. The first thing I think is, I hope we have enough flowers for their order. Turning around, my eyes widen and jaw drops at the blessed sight of the man I didn’t think I would see today. “What are you doing here?!”
Perry tosses him an apron. “Good! You’re here! Join in!”
Tom easily catches it as he walks, putting it on while a gaze of determination remains locked on me. “Hey Boss.”
“How…” I stammer, utterly confused, “How are you here? How did you get out of jail?”
He smirks, “More about that later,” so handsome as long, steady strides bring him to me. “But first…” Tom gracefully grabs the back of my head, presses our bodies together, and kisses me, strong and possessively.
Amelia and Perry go wild.