12. Admiral
12
ADMIRAL
I t was as though a weighted blanket suddenly covered Alice, and with it, she stopped shaking. I could feel her breathing, but just barely. Her tears that had drenched my shirt stopped falling, and her taut muscles loosened. If I had to use one word to describe her shift, I’d say acceptance. Could she feel her sister’s presence in the same way I did? If I believed in such a thing, I’d say her ghost was in the room with us, watching over Alice, using me as her conduit.
The sensation grew stronger, and Alice snuggled closer to me, her breathing matching mine. I knew then that I’d protect and care for her every day for the rest of my life. It was as though Sarah had handed me the responsibility because she knew I’d take it. Not just that, but I’d embrace it in the same way I held her sister.
We sat on the sofa, her on my lap, until long after it had gotten dark. The fire still roared without my stoking it, and otherwise, the camp was quiet and still.
I had no idea where anyone else was, and it didn’t matter to me. My priority was Alice, and I’d not let her go until I knew she was ready. I didn’t care if it was hours from now.
Eventually, she’d have more questions, and I wouldn’t necessarily have the answers. Grit might, though. And if he didn’t, he’d know how to get them.
At some point, I’d need to let my family know Bobby was dead. I owed them that much, to hear it from me.
While I wasn’t certain who’d fired the gun that killed him, I knew it wasn’t Alice, and for that, I was thankful. She’d never know the weight a person who’d taken the life of another carried on their soul. As much as she wanted revenge, the old adage of it being like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die was true. It would’ve eaten away at her. Instead, the repercussions of his death would gnaw at another’s soul.
I felt her shift and angled my head so I could see her face. The connection I already felt between us got stronger when our gazes met. Her eyes darted back and forth between mine, but I didn’t sense unease.
“Talk to me, Alice,” I whispered.
“Hold me while I sleep?”
The air left my lungs, knowing how hard it had been for her to ask, but I steeled my reaction. “Of course.”
I stood, lifting her slight frame in my arms, and carried her into the bedroom that was down the hall from the camp’s main room. It also had a fireplace that someone had lit.
Resting her on the edge of the bed that faced a view of the lake, I pulled the sheets back, then covered her with them when she lay down.
She reached for me. “Don’t leave.”
“I won’t. I promise.” I walked around the end, pulled the same covers back, and crawled in beside her. When I opened my arms, she turned her body, facing me and resting her head above my heart.
“Why do they call you Admiral? Wait, never mind. Pershing, duh. Except, he was a general in the Army. Now, I’m confused.”
“Code names and call signs don’t always make sense, especially since they’re usually given under the influence of alcohol.”
“Were you in the Army?”
“Navy.”
“I guess that makes sense at least.”
I cupped her cheek and shifted so I could see her face. While she wasn’t smiling, her expression was soft. Unable to stop myself, I brought my lips close to hers, accepting her kiss when she leaned forward. Her tongue pressed against my mouth, and I opened to her.
The kiss deepened, filling me with a warmth that spread from my core throughout my body. Alice’s lips were soft yet demanding against mine as her fingers curled into my shirt. My every nerve ending felt alive, hyper-aware of her closeness, her scent, and the way her body fit perfectly against mine. But when her breathing hitched and I felt wetness on my cheeks, I gentled the kiss, then pulled back far enough to look into her eyes. “Talk to me.”
She shook her head, burying her face against my chest again. Several minutes passed before she spoke, her voice muffled. “Sarah used to tease me about being too serious. She said I needed to learn to let my guard down sometimes.” A soft, broken laugh escaped her. “I always told her she was too trusting. Guess we were both wrong about each other.”
My arms tightened around her. “She wanted to tell you. About the FBI work.”
“How do you know?”
I shrugged. “The same intuition that tells me her handlers wouldn’t allow it. That they thought it was too dangerous.”
Alice’s body stiffened. “They were right. Look what happened to her.” She pulled away and met my gaze. “Can you tell me about Bobby?”
Hard as it would be to talk about him, I owed Alice the truth. All of it. “We grew up together. He was like a brother to me.” My voice caught on the words. “He was injured playing college football, and it changed him. The pain meds, that is. Or maybe it was who he was all along. It just made it easier for him to become the person he kept hidden.”
“Did you try to help him?”
“Everyone did. His parents, mine, the whole family. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want it.” I stared into the fire, remembering. “The last time I saw him before today was at our grandmother’s funeral. He was already deep in with the Castellanos by then, but none of us realized how far.”
Alice’s hand found mine, and our fingers weaved. The gesture surprised me—here she was, offering comfort when she was the one who’d lost everything.
“Sarah left me a message,” she said quietly. “In our childhood code. Numbers for letters.”
My pulse quickened. “What did it say?”
“B K MUR. Bobby murdered her.” Her voice cracked. “She knew he was going to kill her. Why didn’t she run? Call for help?”
“Because running would’ve blown her cover and the entire investigation with it. The Castellanos would’ve known they had a leak.” I brushed a strand of hair from her face. “She was trying to protect you until the end.”
A sob caught in her throat. “I should’ve known something was off. All the times she canceled our plans at the last minute, the way she’d zone out during conversations…I just thought she was dating someone new. Someone she wasn’t ready to tell me about.”
“She was protecting an investigation that could bring down one of the most dangerous crime families in New York. You couldn’t have known.”
“I’m supposed to be good at uncovering secrets. It’s what I do.” The bitterness in her voice cut deep. “But I didn’t see what was happening to my own sister.”
I don’t know how long Alice and I had been asleep, but it was still dark when a soft knock at the door woke us. “Boss?” Tank’s voice carried through the wood. “Sorry to disturb you, but we’ve got movement in the city you need to know about.”
I checked the time, saw it was a little after four, then looked at Alice, who nodded. I moved the covers and sat up. “Come in.”
Tank entered, his expression grim. “Alessandro Castellano’s calling in favors. Word on the street is he’s looking for both of you. Bobby was his protégé—this is personal for him.” He shook his head. “Too bad he’s looking in the wrong place.”
“What do you mean?”
“The bullet that killed him came from Vito Tarese’s gun. They call him ‘the ghost.’ Working theory is Vincent Castellano called the hit.”
“Alessandro’s older brother?” I asked.
Tank nodded. “Who is also the don.”
“Shit,” I said under my breath, wondering how this would play out. Would Vincent allow Alessandro to believe we’d killed Bobby, or would this turn into a war between the brothers?
“How close are they to finding us?” Alice asked, sitting up straighter.
“Not remotely close. But they’re motivated.” Tank handed me a tablet. “These came in from our surveillance teams.”
I looked at the images at the same time Alice did.
“That’s my apartment.” Her eyes were wide. “It’s empty. Wait. What about…?” Her voice trailed off.
“Your safe is empty too.”
She closed her eyes in a long blink. “Did you…?”
“We packed everything and brought it here,” Tank explained.
I scrolled through the photos, my jaw tightening. “They’re not even trying to hide anymore.”
“No, sir. They’re sending a message.”
Alice peered at the screen. “I recognize some of those men. They were at the cemetery.”
“Alessandro’s top enforcers,” I confirmed.
“So, um, there’s someone I work with who I need to tell you about.”
I shifted my gaze from the photos to her face. “Go ahead.”
“His name is Tex.”
“They won’t find him,” said Tank.
Alice looked up at him. “How can you be so sure?”
His eyes met mine, and I caught his brief grin. “Because I know him.”
Alice looked between us, then back at him. “You do?”
Tank nodded. “Most of us do. And those who don’t directly, know of him.”
“We should warn him anyway,” she suggested. “They may come for him as a way to find me.”
Tank shook his head. “He already knows.”
She raised a brow.
“He’s looking after you too, Alice,” he added.
When she reached for my hand, I held hers tight. “I guess I wasn’t as much of a lone wolf as I thought.”
“We spent two days looking for you, sweetheart, and couldn’t find you. That says a lot,” said Tank.
She turned from me to him and nodded. “I am good.” From my angle, I saw the hint of her smile. “So, um, can I talk to him?”
“Tex?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Now?”
She looked at the clock like I had. “I doubt he’s asleep, but if he is, I’ll leave a message.”
I looked over at Tank.
“Use this,” he offered, pulling out a satphone. “It’s clean.”
Alice took the phone, then looked between him and me again.
I stood, and Tank followed me out onto the balcony, giving her privacy for the call. The air was crisp, and the lake looked like a sheet of black ice stretching into darkness. Every so often, security lights dotted the shoreline where our teams maintained their watch positions.
“The Castellanos won’t stop,” Tank said quietly. “Not until they find her.”
“I know.” I watched my breath form clouds in the cold air. “But neither will we.”
“Sir…” Tank hesitated. “This thing with you and her—it’s more than professional concern, isn’t it?”
“Would it be a problem if it was?” I asked without looking at him.
“No, sir. We just want to know what we’re really fighting for here.”
“We?”
Before he could answer, I heard Alice’s voice rise in alarm. I was through the door before the sound fully registered, Tank right behind me. She stood by the fireplace, the phone clutched to her ear, her face pale.
“What is it?” I asked.
She lowered it slowly. “Tex says there’s a mole in the FBI. Someone high up. That’s how the Castellanos knew about Sarah’s investigation.” Her eyes, filled with a mixture of fear and determination, met mine. “He says they’re not just coming for me; they’re coming for you too. Because of Bobby.”
That they were coming for me didn’t scare me. We’d be ready. However, the implications of everything else it meant hit me like ice water. If there was a mole in the bureau, nowhere was truly safe. Not even here. I moved to the window, scanning the tree line out of habit. The security lights still burned in a steady rhythm, but suddenly, they felt less like protection and more like beacons announcing our location.
“We need to move,” Tank said, already on his comms. “I’ll have the team ready in ten.”
“Wherever we go, they’ll find us. We need to play offense, not defense,” said Alice, walking over to me. Her green eyes looked fierce in the firelight. “Sarah died trying to bring them down. Let’s finish what she started.” I studied her. Purpose replaced her grief, and I agreed. Running would only delay the inevitable. We had to lead the charge in fighting back.
“You’re right. We’ll stay put for now and reevaluate as needed, and, Tank,” I said, not taking my eyes off her. “Get me everything we have on the Castellanos. Every scrap of intel, every surveillance photo, every wiretap transcript. And get Grit on the line. If there’s a mole in the bureau, he needs to know.”
I picked up on the man’s hesitation.
“I don’t care that it’s zero dark forty. Get him up.”
“It isn’t that.”
“If you have something to say, get on with it.”
“Are you sure you can trust him?”
Was I? Fuck, I couldn’t say for certain, and doubt like that couldn’t be ignored. I shook my head. On the other hand, he’d already provided additional backup, which meant he knew where we were. If he was here too, it would be easier to get a read on him.
“On second thought, get him here.”
“Roger that.” Tank paused at the door. “What about the rest of the team?”
“Keep them on perimeter watch. Information will be need to know only, which means you get permission from either me or Diesel before you brief anyone. That is especially true with anyone from the bureau.”
“Roger that,” he repeated, walking from the room.
When the door closed behind him, I pulled Alice into my arms. She came willingly, her body fitting against mine like she belonged there. Maybe she did.
“Who’s Grit?” she asked.
“My boss at the bureau. And, Alice, we’re going to finish this,” I promised, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She nodded against my chest. “For Sarah.”
“For all of us.”
Outside, the wind picked up, sending snow swirling past the windows. Somewhere out there, Alessandro Castellano was plotting his revenge, unaware that those he saw as his prey were his hunters. A feeling rose from deep inside me. Standing in this room, with the fire crackling and Alice in my arms, I knew we’d win.
It wouldn’t be easy. We’d be fighting not just the Castellanos, but potentially corrupt elements within the FBI itself. Yet looking down at Alice, seeing the same determination in her eyes that I felt in my heart, I was confident we’d find a way. We had to. Too many lives depended on it.
I leaned down and kissed her again, pouring everything I couldn’t say into the gesture. When we finally broke apart, her eyes were bright with unshed tears, but her voice was steady.
“Where’s my stuff?”
I nearly laughed at the way she’d phrased the question.
“Meaning your ‘command center’?”
She nodded.
“Here, along with everything else that was in your apartment. Sarah’s too.”
Her eyes widened. “Tank said, ‘We packed everything.’ Who’s we?”
“Atticus, Blackjack, and Kodiak helped. And before you ask, I trust the three of them and Tank with my life, which means I also trust them with yours.”
“Diesel mentioned they worked with him.”
“That’s right. The firm is called K19 Security Solutions, and they have a unit based out of this part of the Adirondacks.”
Alice leaned forward, rested her head on my chest, and yawned.
“What do you say we try to sleep a while longer? If you’d rather not, I’ll have the guys start bringing the things from your apartment up?”
“Up?” she asked, yawning again, then pulling me toward the bed, where we both lay down.
“The camp has a lower level, with bedrooms that haven’t been used in years. That’s where I asked them to store everything.”
When I realized she was already asleep, I eased the covers from under her before pulling the sheet and blankets over us both.
When I woke again, the sun was high in the sky and Alice was no longer next to me.
“It’s time to do what I do best—expose secrets,” she said, coming out of the bathroom. “Ready?”
I sat up, knowing that whatever came next, we’d face it together. The woman I’d slept beside wasn’t a victim to protect. She was a partner, an ally, and maybe something more. Something I wasn’t ready to name yet, but could feel growing stronger with each passing moment.
I stood and led her toward the door. “Come on. Let’s get to work.” I had my hand on the doorknob but didn’t open it. Instead, I turned to face her. “Whatever happens, whatever we uncover—I’ve got you, Alice. Always.”
Her answering smile was small but real, the first I’d seen since the cemetery. “I know,” she said softly. “I’ve got you too.”
“What do you say we make some Matcha for you and industrial-strength coffee for me?”
“Sounds perfect.”