25. Will
CHAPTER 25
WILL
“SUCKER” - THE JONAS brOTHERS
A my and I spent the better part of yesterday evening planning and preparing for Cam to come over. I was nervous that I was putting the cart before the horse since I hadn’t officially asked Cam yet, but Amy was convinced she wouldn’t say no. She had all kinds of wildly elaborate ideas on what we should decorate with and how to make my obviously bachelor pad apartment look romantic. There were mentions of roses and a candlelit dinner plus massage oils and other very presumptuous things. I think all the talk of what could potentially happen led me to initiating the phone sex we had. Well, that and those damn silk panties.
My sister is a romantic through and through, the perfect blend of wedding planner and hook-up arranger. While I am thankful for her support, I woke up decidedly focused on keeping things more simple, more relaxed. The goal is to not scream that I’m trying too hard, but also to appear like I put some effort into the night. Limiting myself helps keep my expectations and feelings under control, according to Tina. She told me that the best way to manage my fear about losing Cam or fucking things up was to manage my expectations and my view of reality. Essentially, not to get swept away and throw out the rest of my life and things I care about.
Cam’s had an intense week at work, trying to prove she’s worthy of having her own spot as a stylist. I know in my soul that she’s meant to be there, at that salon, and based on what I saw her do to Smith, I’m positive she’s earned her spot. Anyone who can make that dude look semi-decent must be great, right? He wouldn’t shut up all day about how good her head massage was. I had to stop myself more than once from throat punching him.
After thinking about it all day and texting to confirm plans with Amy, I decided on skipping the flowers in lieu of a few candles, lavender-mint scented, like the ones in that shampoo area at the salon. It may seem counterintuitive, as she probably wants to escape work, but that scent was like magic. You can’t help but relax as soon as you smell it.
I have about thirty minutes before Cam’s set to get off work. Once she texts me, all I have to do is pop the popcorn for the movie I hope we watch and wait. I already spent far too much time getting ready, with all the outfit changes and manscaping. It’s hard to know what the right thing to wear is. I consider this a date, so sweatpants seem too casual, but again, I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying too hard or trying to be someone I’m not.
Amy went to her new friend Joy’s house for the night. She met Joy at her job interview and they hit it off, which, fortunately, for me means she won’t be home tonight and has a job lined up to teach kindergarten come fall. My sister is funny and great to have around, but she needs something and someone else to keep her busy for exact times like this. I owe Joy a drink, if I ever meet her.
My phone buzzes in my pocket.
Cam
On my way! Can’t wait to hang out
My stomach does that flip-floppy thing that feels like it may have lodged accidentally in my throat. She got off earlier than I expected.
I quickly light the candles to get the scent going and throw the popcorn in the microwave to start popping. No, I’m not making it homemade because who the hell knows how to do that. Everything else is set up. Let my anxious pacing ensue—from the kitchen to the door, the door to the living room—geezus, I’m a fucking wreck.
Is it better to wait on the couch and take a second to answer the door, or should I be prepared to open it at the first knock? Why am I so nervous? I run around making sure everything looks good, double-checking the bathroom to ensure it’s clean and Amy didn’t leave anything lying around. I smell myself and make sure my nerves are properly masked by my deodorant and cologne.
A soft knock sounds at the door, causing my pulse to ratchet up another notch. I’m going to have a goddamn heart attack if I don’t chill the fuck out. I take a deep breath, pumping oxygen into my lungs, and open the door. The sight of Cam nearly knocks me on my ass. She’s so gorgeous I choke on the words as I greet her.
“H-h-hi,” I say. I’m blocking the doorway, holding on to the doorframe so I don’t crumble to the floor. She’s stunningly beautiful after a long day of work.
“Hey, you gonna let me in?” she asks, one side of her mouth shifting up in an adorable lopsided grin. I scoot to the side slightly, sweeping my arm as I welcome her in.
Cam is wearing a black overall-style dress that cuts off an inch or two below the swell of her backside. She has on a black short-sleeved T-shirt that is skintight and sheer black leggings with black combat boots. My eyes shamelessly sweep over her whole ensemble before meeting her gaze. Her body is fully on display and yet covered completely in the weirdest mind trick I’ve ever experienced.
“Sorry, I didn’t have time to go home and change,” she says, almost self-consciously as she slips out of her boots.
“You wore that to work?” I choke out.
Hello dear friend, jealousy. Nice to see ya again. I don’t want her to look this good for other people, especially not when she has to get so close to them, touching them, running her fingers through their hair.
“Umm, yeah. We wear black so none of the stains show when we make a mess coloring someone’s hair,” she explains.
“I guess that makes sense, it’s just...you look gorgeous. Clients are going to line up to sit in your chair,” I say, masking my insecurity, hopefully.
A husky laugh bellows out from her. She raises an eyebrow and says, “Oh please, like you don’t have women lined up when you’re in uniform?”
“Not really, come here.” I grab her hand and pull her into a hug, molding her tightly against my body. A thought about not wanting to ever let her go flashes in my mind, and I force a deep breath so I don’t blurt it out. Reality. I have to maintain a sense of reality about where this is going.
We stand there for a few minutes, simply holding on to each other. It feels like this is where I’m meant to be, wrapped around her after we both finish work for the day. Is it hot in here?
Peeking up at me from under her lashes as she gently releases her hold, she asks, “Sooo, what are we gonna do?”
“Well, I thought we could start with a shoulder rub and a foot soak, since you said your feet hurt so bad.” She walks past me, out of the entryway and into the open-concept apartment.
“Oh my gosh, shut up. Did you set up a tent and twinkle lights for me?” She grabs my hand and bounces up and down in excitement.
“Amy will be glad to know she was right about you liking that, but yeah. So we can watch a movie after you relax.” I can feel my cheeks heat in self-consciousness. I’m relieved Cam likes it, but also I feel a little vulnerable putting myself out there like this.
“Seriously, this is perfect. I’ve been wanting to set something like this up forever, but how lame to make a movie bed for a party of one,” she crows. Thank you, Amy!
I lead her to the kitchen and open a bottle of rosé, pouring her a glass and grabbing myself a beer.
“Are you ready to relax?” I ask with a bit of seduction in my voice that came out of nowhere.
A husky laugh and another raise of her eyebrow compliments her slow nod. I motion for her to put her feet in a heated pedicure footbath that I set up next to the kitchen peninsula as I bend down to hit the button that makes it bubble.
“Umm, I-I have on tights, Rambo. Slow your roll,” she stutters out.
“Oh, um, okay . . . we can skip the footbath.”
“No...I just need to take them off. Do you mind turning around?” she asks, her cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink.
I turn around and face the textured white apartment wall. It’s not like I haven’t seen her in all her glory before, but if she wants modesty then that’s what she’ll get. Consent is important!
“All good, you can turn around,” she coos, a small touch of excitement in her voice.
She’s already propped on the stool and lowering her feet gently into the water. I shift behind her, gently sweeping her hair forward so I can properly massage her shoulders. My hands begin in tender movements, kneading and pressing into the knots but being careful not to exert too much pressure.
A low moan rolls softly out of her mouth, and I hesitate for the briefest of seconds. I did not prepare for her soft noises or the proximity. I can feel my growing shaft pressing against the zipper of my jeans offensively. Dammit, I didn’t think this through!
“Is that too hard?” I ask before realizing the way the words sound coming out.
“Last time I checked, there’s no such thing.” Her laughter melds with the sounds of her practically purring.
Thank God the footbath has a timer on it and shuts off after ten minutes. Not only are my hands tired, but I need to put a little distance between my cock and Cam or I’m going to embarrass myself. As if on cue, her stomach rumbles so loudly we both are stunned to silence before doubling over in laughter.
“Hungry?” I ask.
“I’m sorry, oh my gosh, how embarrassing. I didn’t get to eat lunch or dinner since I was finishing my last trial today.” Her cheeks blush, hinting her embarrassment, but she still smiles sheepishly.
“Hey, it’s okay. I will feed you, but you need to make sure you’re eating. I have popcorn, but I could also order pizza?” I say, wondering if she needs something more substantial.
“Pizza sounds great. I can pay, I made tips today.” The words tumble out of her mouth, yet there’s an edge to them, like she really can’t afford to pay.
“Wright, when you’re with me, you don’t pay. I got you, promise.”
I tip her chin up and press a gentle kiss to her lips before making my way over to the kitchen to grab my phone, ordering a pizza plus mini cinnamon-sugar donuts, because I can.
While we wait for the food, we decide to snuggle up in our makeshift movie theater bed. Twinkle lights dance overhead as the tent walls and blankets make a sort of cocoon around us. Cam mentions she would rather talk than watch a movie, so I set the TV to play some soft, soothing jazz tunes. A glittering, bright giggle rolls out of her. “Did you steal this playlist from Dalton?”
“Oh my gosh! Do you remember how awkward that double date was? Dude seriously thought he was getting lucky, serenading her with love songs.” We both laugh until we have tears rolling down our faces. Senior year, one of our mutual friends, Dalton, took us on a double date for his first time out with this girl. He played love songs the whole way to the restaurant. I’m talking about Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”–style of music. It was so awkward that his date ended up leaving before the appetizers came, and we had to spend the rest of the night cheering him up.
After our laughter has settled, I brush the remaining happy tears from her face with a swipe of my thumbs and ask, “So...did you pass your trials?”
“Yes, I did. Ugh, it’s such a relief, except now I have to actually build my clientele and money is even less guaranteed since I won’t get an assistant’s salary.” She throws her head back and rubs a hand roughly down her face.
“You’re amazing, everyone you meet adores you. I’m sure it won’t take long, and if you ever need help, you know you can ask.”
She presses her soft lips to mine, just once. “While that’s incredibly sweet and generous, this is something I have to do on my own. Prove to myself I can, you know?” I’m proud of her. I wouldn’t mind helping her out if she needed it, but the fact that she wants to be self-sufficient is really hot. If this works out between us, it will be because she wants it to, not because she needs me.
“Tell me something, Rambo...What do you do at work?” She snuggles in a little closer, using my arm as a pillow.
“Well, there isn’t much to say. We do communications, but you know that already. Most of it we can’t talk about since it’s classified. Is there something specific you want to know?”
“Umm, I guess...do you like it? Is it dangerous? Do you have to move around a lot?” The fear in her eyes is crippling. I should’ve seen these questions coming. Cam has always been an overthinker, and we haven’t discussed my job much at all. She knows about Thatch, but only the basics.
I puff out a breath of air and run my hands through my hair. “I love it, it gave me a sense of purpose when I really didn’t have one—no offense.” I eye her suspiciously for any hint of anger over our past bubbling up. When I don’t find it, I continue, “Danger is relative. My job’s not always safe, but bad things happen to people walking down the street. I may have to move at some point, but not anytime soon. My team is here and we relocate as a unit, so it’s unlikely that they will want to send us and all of our belongings to live somewhere new.” Moving and deploying are two different things, I keep the possibility of the latter to myself, for now.
I’m downplaying the risk, obviously, but there isn’t a point in scaring her. It’s not a lie to say that danger lurks no matter where you are in life. Bad shit happens to good people all the time. Do I run toward it more often than others? Yeah, I do. I will explain more to her at some point if things progress, but right now, I’m trying to make sure things actually do progress. I also don’t want to give her any excuse to run.
Knock, knock!
I head to the door to grab the food, then make my way back into the tent with the pizza box, the bag of donuts, and some napkins.
“Dinner is served, milady.” I hand Cam a slice of pizza and bow my head.
“Do not quit your day job, Rambo. That wasn’t very good acting.” She eats her pizza tentatively, taking small bites.
“Do you like it?” It feels like she doesn’t want to eat it, but I don’t really know why.
“It’s so good, thank you. I’m just not super hungry.” She fiddles with one of the blankets, looking down at her half-eaten slice.
I take the slice from the napkin on her lap and plop it back in the box, moving it to the opening of the tent. “Wright, look at me. What’s up?”
“What do you mean? Nothing.” She dismisses me, moving to grab the pizza and pull it back toward us.
“Nope.” I grab her hands, turning her to face me. “You are hungry, I know you are because your stomach told me. Why are you picking at the pizza? I can get you something else.”
“Stop, Will. It’s just...well, you know I’ve gained weight since you last saw me, and I’ve been trying really hard to lose it, but I don’t know. I guess I just thought that after the phone call, maybe something was going to happen tonight and you...well, you know.”
“I what? I wouldn’t think you’re attractive if you eat?” I’d had a hunch that she struggled with her body image, but honestly, she’s never been more beautiful in my eyes. Her curves could kill a man.
“Well, I mean, yeah. Realistically, if I was thinner back then, you probably wouldn’t have left. I have these stupid athletic knees and wide hips. I just...I don’t know.”
“Is that what you think?” She can’t be serious. But she looks at me, tight-lipped, unwavering in her assessment. “Cameron Jane, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. You’re not even close to being overweight, but even if you were, I would still choose you a million times over because what’s in here can’t be beat.” I place my hand on her heart.
“Still, I’m not where I want to be. For myself.” She plays it off like she believes me, but I can tell she’s not a hundred-percent sold. I make a mental note to keep reminding her.
“That’s okay, you know I will help you, I’ve already been trying to. But promise me one thing. If you feel insecure, tell me. It would be my pleasure to show you just how much I adore your curves.” She rolls her eyes but grabs the bag of donuts. I consider that a win, for now.
“Mm-uh-gosh,” she moans around a mouthful of sugar as her eyes practically roll back in her head. I get it. I could live and die by these sweet balls of fried perfection, and her eating them.
Once we finish eating, we settle back into our makeshift bed. Cam snuggles in close, resting her head on my chest, under my chin, and her leg intertwines with mine. She’s soft in all the right places, pressed in close, fitting like she was made just for me. I don’t want to move her, but after going so long without her in my life, I’m desperate to kiss her again.
I slide my hand under her chin and shift her head slightly so she’s peering up at me. There is molten lava in her eyes, and I can tell she wants this too. Her breath catches just slightly. I press my lips to hers, swallowing the small sound.
Cupping her face with one hand and running the other up and down her arm, I swipe my tongue out, running it along the seam of her lips. An invitation for more, if she wants it. She scoots higher, deepening the kiss. Moaning softly, she opens and grants me access. I take my time exploring the lingering taste of cinnamon sugar on her lips. It’s an intoxicating mix of sweetness and raw need.
Cam shifts again, slowly moving her hand down my abs and chest. She’s exploring my body as much as she is my mouth; her touch is not tentative, but confident. Her arms are covered in goose bumps, and every stroke of my hand makes her shiver in a delightful conformation that she’s as affected as I am. Cam inches her hand further down, gripping my cock through my jeans.
I break the kiss, grabbing her wrist. “You don’t have to do that, Cam. We can take things slow.” I don’t want her to feel pressured to do anything, especially after she told me how she’s been feeling. But also, I would love the opportunity to show her what she does to me.
“I want to, Will,” she says, looking me squarely in the eye with a ferocity and heat I haven’t seen...well, maybe ever.
“I just don’t want you to feel pressured, you know, because of last night. You are the funniest, most thoughtful, caring, and generous person I know. I love that you are so self-sufficient and determined with your work. I just don’t want you to think this is only physical, remember it’s much more about what’s in here and up here.” I place my hand over her heart and then gently swipe my finger across her forehead. It’s the truth, this is about so much more than the physical for me, it’s about what’s in her soul.
“For me too, but I want this right now.” Her eyes glisten with the faint sheen of tears beginning.
I lean in to kiss her again, whispering against her lips, “Okay, but if you get to touch me, Wright, then I get to touch you too.”
I reposition us both on our sides, facing each other, so we can easily touch but still kiss. Cam slides her hand over me again, gripping firmly, and then unbuttons my jeans, sliding the zipper down carefully. I lift up slightly so she can slide my jeans and boxer briefs down. Her breath hitches as she gazes at me with big, round appreciative eyes.
“Hey, you still have on your dress, not fair.” I pretend to pout as my hands shake from the thought of finally being able to touch her.
“Just lift it up a little, and we’re even, Rambo.” She winks at me, continuing to use that ridiculous nickname that I’m sort of starting to love.
Holy shit, does she not have on underwear? I mean, she did remove the leggings, but I thought people still wore something under those. I must look confused because she giggles, taking my hand and sliding it up to her wet, hot heat. She’s soaked.
“Christ! Is that all for me?” My words come out in a husky growl.
She doesn’t answer, just leans in, sucking my bottom lip in between her teeth, returning her focus to my straining erection. She grips me firmly, stroking me tightly in focused movements. This is not going to last long; her small hand feels too good wrapped around me.
I get to work rubbing her nub with my thumb, rotating between slow and fast circles. I take a chance and dip one finger into her hot center—holy fuck, she’s tight. She’s squeezing one finger so snugly, I’m not sure I can fit another. I feel her heating up, getting wetter by the second. Our mouths mingle in languid, lazy movements while we focus on other efforts. I need to get her there quickly because I’m seconds from bursting.
I struggle to add another finger but finally manage. I turn them to crook them at that perfect angle and hit her sweet spot. Her body trembles, and I know she’s close. “Will, oh God, I’m coming,” she cries out.
“Right there with you, baby,” I say right before I release, spurting hot liquid on my belly and the sheets below. It feels like I come forever, her name on my lips. We are both completely satiated and wrung out. She presses a soft kiss to my lips, then rolls onto her back laughing.
“You okay over there?” I ask with an eyebrow raised, but my face is surely amused.
“More than okay, happy.” She giggles again, placing the back of her hand over her mouth.
I shake my head and get up to clean myself up, returning with a couple of damp washcloths, one to wipe off the sheet and one for Cam. This girl and her laughter are quickly becoming my favorite things. After everything is tidied up, I snuggle back into her, pressing my lips to her temple.
“I missed you this week. Thank you for tonight, you’re so sweet.” She yawns, burrowing deeper into me.
“You earned it, Wright. Now rest. I set an alarm, so you’ll have time to go home and change before work tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Will,” she whispers, and I can tell she’s falling asleep by the soft puffs of air faintly escaping her lips.
I lie here awake, simply watching her sleep, thinking of all the ways this is probably going to blow up in my face and all the reasons I couldn’t care less. We didn’t exactly take things slow tonight, but I’m not complaining. I probably should’ve been more honest about the dangers of my job, but it would have ruined the mood. I wanted her to relax and have fun without adding to her stress. I care about her, far more than I’ve admitted. Tonight was fun, perfect, relaxing, and hot as hell. I’m falling for her all over again, which feels familiar and different all at the same time. She is different now but better, stronger in so many ways, and that raises the stakes even more for me. She doesn’t need me, she could easily walk away taking my heart with her.