Coincidentally Kismet

31. Cam

CHAPTER 31

CAM

“WITHOUT ME” - HALSEY

W ill and I stayed at the party for a bit after Bri left, but not too late. To be honest, I couldn’t wait to escape and make the most of what was left of the night, wrapped up in him.

It was epically hot. Safe to say, Will spent a significant amount of time spelunking in every nook and cranny of my lady cave. Frankly, it’s a wonder I was even able to stand behind my chair today. Thank God it’s Saturday, and I only had to do it for a few hours.

My clientele is building rapidly, which makes me and my bank account happy. I only had to get through two color-and-haircut clients plus one men’s cut today. A few more sweeps of the floor at my station and sanitizing the brushes, then I’ll be off.

Will is meeting me for a redo lunch at Patty’s, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t more than a little excited to experience the ambience, milkshake, and truffle fries again. My last experience was pure bliss until I thought Will was running a game on me. A redo is exactly what I need to get rid of any bad juju and reestablish the vibes I initially felt.

Making quick work of my close-out tasks, I check out at the desk, pull my tips from the drawer, and head to grab my bag. I’m not trying to sneak out per se, but I’m also not announcing my departure because Daveed will make me stay to chat. I feel bad about giving him the slip, but I know he wants details about last night, and I don’t have the time or mental energy.

Slipping into the booth that Rhonda directed me to feels a little different than last time. It’s not the bar, and I’m not nearly close enough to the jukebox, but it’ll do. My preference would have been the bar because it adds to the old-school diner vibe, but it’s not conducive to making date conversation.

The view of the clientele from here is also different from last time. I can’t see the tables on the other side, but the ones closest to me consist of far more families. There are kids chatting away about new toys they hope to get while running errands, a few fighting with their siblings, and the most adorable little girl practically covered from head to toe in melted ice cream. I feel for her mother, but also can’t help smiling at her precious and plump little fingers smearing chocolate in places it shouldn’t be.

Seeing these families makes me wonder if Will still wants kids. I do, though not for a while. I’m too focused on building my career right now, but one day. Picturing Will with a chubby little baby squirming and squealing with laughter makes my uterus hurt. I need to stop thinking about it, or my timeline might move up. Seriously, I can almost feel my eggs dropping, ready to rock.

Rhonda, again adorned in her vintage waitress dress, saddles up to the table.

“Can I get you anything while you wait, toots?”

“Coffee would be great. He should be here soon, we said twelve thirty and he’s never late for anything.”

“Coffee it is, sweetheart, but I hate to break it to you. It’s already twelve forty-five,” she says, pity written all over her face.

“Wait, really?” I ask, grabbing for my phone, which I’d stuffed in my purse on the way in the door. I guess I spaced out people watching a little longer than I realized.

She nods and walks off to get my coffee, leaving me with my own frantic attempts at opening my lock screen.

No texts, no missed calls from Will, only one unknown number—probably a telemarketer. What if something happened? I sent him a message to tell him I was on my way, but I hadn’t checked for a reply.

Hitting send on his number, I listen for the usual ring but instead it goes straight to voicemail. Shit! When I left this morning, I kissed him goodbye as he was half asleep and crept out. I start running through all the possible scenarios in my head. Could he have forgotten? Was he in an accident?

He couldn’t have gotten called up for work. I can’t imagine after everything we’ve been working to rebuild that he would have left without saying goodbye. He knew where I was and didn’t call, so it can’t be that.

I hit send again, just in case his phone was being weird during the first call. Voicemail again!

Okay, breathe, Cam. Everything is going to be fine. We had a perfect night. He isn’t standing me up, maybe he took a nap, or his phone died.

No, it was on the charger all night. What is with this diner and bad luck? I need to get out of here. I need to think clearly and not be irrational.

Tossing a ten on the table, I grab my stuff in a hurry and rush to my car. Settling into the seat, I scoot my chair back and make room. I can’t leave in case he shows up, but I can lie back and get comfortable. Maybe Lo is with Smith. They could check on him.

Scrolling to Lo’s contact, I hit send. It rings three times and she answers. Finally! Someone answered.

“H-hi. Where are you?” She’s sobbing.

“What’s going on? Why are you crying?” I ask quickly.

“Why aren’t you?” she replies, puzzled.

“What? Why would I be crying? What happened?”

“What do you mean what happened? You don’t know? Oh Jesus, God, what in the actual fuck?” Pity and pain, thick in her voice.

“Lo! No, I don’t know what happened. Can you tell me, please? I’m sitting at Patty’s waiting for Will, but he’s late for our lunch date.”

“He didn’t tell you? Oh no...no, no, no, no. This is not happening.”

“Lorraine, dammit! What is not happening?” She better start talking quickly.

“They’re gone. They got the call this morning. Smith ran outta here in a hurry, said some shit was going down and he’d contact me when he could. He gave me a few kisses, a long squeeze, and just left.”

“Wait, no. That can’t be right. Will wouldn’t leave without telling me. Why would he do that when we have been working so hard to rekindle everything? He said I could trust him this time.”

“Honey...they left. Smith only had an hour to report. He called Butler while putting his pants on and ran like his ass was on fire. Maybe Will didn’t have time?” She’s trying and failing to rationalize his behavior, and it’s making it worse.

“Seriously, Lo? He didn’t have time while driving to base to pick up the fucking phone and say goodbye?” There’s no world in which that man couldn’t have called me for a minute or two.

“I know it looks bad, but maybe there’s more to the story. I know he loves you, Cam. Come home and we can figure it out together.” Lo’s trying to sound reassuring, but the hesitation in her voice is evident.

I’ve seen this story play out before. “There’s only one explanation. I wasn’t important enough back in the day, and I’m clearly not now. I gotta go. Don’t worry, I’ll be home later. Love you.”

I hit the end button and stare at my phone in disbelief. This cannot be happening, again. Last time, at least he had the decency to break things off explicitly; this time he just leaves without so much as a peep.Clearly, I’ll never be enough for him.

Realistically, I knew this was coming. The deployment part, anyway. I really believed Will would say goodbye, that he would tell me something. It never crossed my mind that he would leave without saying anything. Even if he couldn’t come to me in person, he could have called or even texted. I made it clear my phone ringer would always be turned up, and I would answer no matter what.

How dare he make me love him again and then do this.Could he not just let me live my life? He had to waltz back in and disrupt my chance at happiness.

I’m paralyzed. I want to cry but I can’t. The tears refuse to fall. My stomach is empty, yet I’m not hungry. I’m so confused, a little lightheaded, driving isn’t an option. What am I going to do? How do I pick myself up?

Ugh, my family. Elliott has probably spilled the beans to my parents by this point. Admittedly, I’ve been dodging Patricia’s phone calls for days because I’ve been afraid of what she’d say about Will. My mom had to pick up the pieces the last time he broke me. She single-handedly stitched me back together when I was little more than scraps of used fabric discarded on the floor. She told me I would love again, that I was beautiful and valuable. She might actually kill Will now for this.

Is it possible for your mind to swirl with thoughts and be completely empty at the same time?

Deciding that fresh air will clear my head and help me regain enough focus to drive home, I slide out of my car. After hitting the lock twice to make sure my bag inside is secure, I start walking.

Wandering the tree-lined streets of Bayshore was one of my favorite things to do no more than a few weeks ago. It’s picturesque, to put it mildly. Bungalow houses are mixed in with mansions. Trees sway effortlessly in the breeze, providing the perfect canopy of shade. The cacophony of birds chirping creates the sweetest melodic background music to my hopes and dreams.

Except now it’s like being George Bailey in the black-and-white version of It’s a Wonderful Life . Everything is in shades of gray; my hopes and dreams are dashed. All I hear are the sounds of Saturday trash pickup, moms yelling at kids to get in cars for practice, and my heart breaking. I fucking knew better. That nagging feeling in my mind never went away, I just ignored it.

Without even thinking, I pluck my phone from my pocket and hit send on Will’s number one last time. It goes straight to voicemail, as expected, but this time I leave a message.

“Will...what in the ever-loving fuck is going on? You made me a promise. You made me believe in us again and then you just up and leave without a word. I-I w-won’t do the same. This is your notice. I love you and I always will, but I’m done. Don’t die over there, but also don’t ever contact me again. I mean it this time, Rambo. Do. Not. Call. Me. Ever. Again.”

Pain sears through every ounce of my body. I’m bawling my eyes out, pissed off, and at the same time, gripped with fear. Telling him off was supposed to make me feel better. At least turn the pain into anger. News flash, it didn’t. Guilt claws at my insides. I want there to be an explanation, but I know there isn’t. Well, there is: He was playing around with me. I didn’t mean to him what he does to me—that’s the status quo with Will, and I fell for it again.

Gahhh! Why would he do this to me, to us? The tears start to fall faster, big mascara-filled drops stain my face.

Standing in the middle of the crosswalk, I search my phone for the only person I know can help right now. The line rings twice and then cuts on.

“Hey, I’ve been calling you for three days. What the hell took you so long?” he asks.

“Elliott . . . I need you!” I manage to say on a sob.

A car horn blares, jolting me to get the hell out of the middle of the street that I apparently stopped in.

“Dammit, Cam. Where are you? Is that a car? Are you okay?”

“I’m not okay. I’m walking in Bayshore. Can you come?”

“I’m already here. I’ve been calling to tell you I was coming. When you didn’t respond, I planned to surprise you. Come pick me up, baggage claim three.”

“I love you...I’m on my way.” I take off running toward my car.

Elliott doesn’t make spur of the moment trips. Why he’s here is a mystery, but relief washes over me. He’s the only one who truly knows me. Lo is my best friend, but there’s something to be said about having the one person who’s been there for it all. My ride or die, my protector, confidant, built-in bestie for life.

My big brother is here, and I’m going to get him, come hell or high water. He will help me fix this, figure it out, or at the very least, get me drunk enough to forget it.