Coincidentally Kismet

35. Cam

“HEARTbrOKEN” - DIPLO doing that was already on my list. I plan to make Will call Tina immediately. “And go see someone yourself. He is going to get better, and he is going to deploy again. I’ve seen too many people like yourself think they are okay until their loved one leaves again and the fear becomes too much to handle. If you love him, make sure you are okay with what he is going to have to do time and time again.” With that, the captain collects his papers and walks away, leaving me standing in the hallway alone with my thoughts.

I don’t want Will to do this. I don’t want to go through this again. But I will, I know it in the depths of my soul. I will never leave his side, and I will support him no matter what. Even if it breaks my heart each time he leaves.

I walk back into Will’s room, taking my seat and grabbing his hand once more. Bri stands abruptly and asks Amy to join her in trying to find the cafeteria for some coffee. Bri must sense that I’m not ready to have this conversation with other people present, even if Will is conked out. They offer to bring me back something and then scurry out of the room.

Sighing, I give Will’s hand another squeeze and say, “Hey, you. I don’t know if you can hear me or if you’re off in la-la land, but I’m glad you’re okay.” The words drip out of me slowly as I fight back tears. I close my eyes tightly and lay my head down on his hand, needing to feel him here with me.

“I don’t know what I would do without you. Even all the years we were apart, I still never really felt like you left. You’ve always had a piece of my heart—I’m not sure I’m ever getting it back.” The tears flow freely down my face now, and a permanent lump in my throat forms.

“No, you aren’t, Wright,” Will responds with a raspy voice.

Lifting my head to look at him, his bright blue eyes pierce through my soul. He is staring at me so clearly, and yet he looks shocked to see me here.

“Will, thank God. Oh my gosh. Wait, what am I not?” I stutter out, surprised that he’s actually awake and here talking to me.

Clearing his throat, Will smirks and says, “Getting that piece of your heart back.”

“Ohhh, I, umm...yeah, I don’t want it back.” All I can do is look at him, silent tears streaking down my face.

“Cameron. I’m sorry. I tried to call you, but I should’ve tried harder. I was caught up in the chaos of leaving and finding Ruiz, but more than that, I was scared if I heard your voice that I would either not leave or you would run. I don’t think you know, or even really see, just how special you are to people, to me. I didn’t want to leave without saying a proper goodbye. The goodbye you deserved. And I know it sounds lame, but I don’t know—my sense of duty won out when faced with risking my heart. You deserve the world, and here I am begging you to let me try again, knowing I don’t deserve it.” He hangs his head in shame, the hurt inside him evident.

“Stop it right now, Rambo. You deserve all the love in the world. You are my best friend, the one who makes me better. Can you be a big dummy sometimes? Absolutely, no doubt. But you are mine. I love that you are so loyal to your team, but you need to know that I can’t breathe without you. I love you.” In my heart, I know there are some questions I should ask, but the moment he opened his mouth and looked at me, all my fears melted away. This won’t be perfect and it won’t be easy, but the fact is, I love him. Whether it’s smart to or not.

“I love you too. More than you will ever know or understand. Our hearts were stitched together a long time ago, and even though we have stretched the strength of that bond beyond reason, it never broke. But more than that, I see you, Cameron. You spend all this time worrying about what others think of you, but I’ve noticed how you’re the first to check on your friends, you go out of your way to make others feel comfortable, and you work harder than anyone I know. You don’t shy away from things that scare you and you take huge risks. You are my life, and if you take this risk with me, I’m going to spend every day proving that I’m worthy of you.”

Tears stream freely down both our faces, and Will tugs my hand, pulling me up out of the chair and closer to him. I gently rub my hand down his cheek and steal a couple sweet but chaste kisses.

We have a long road ahead of us, not just with the physical rehabilitation that needs to happen, but also with the emotional. I believe he wanted to give me a proper goodbye and couldn’t. That’s a fear we have to deal with. I also know that what happened over there has a story to accompany it. One that he may or may not ever want to share. Either way, I will fight for him, support him, and love him no matter how bumpy the journey may become. As he said, we’ve been stitched together for years, soul to soul, in an unbreakable bond. His wounds are my wounds, his heart is my heart, his battles are my battles, and his love is my love.

“Hey, Wright. I need to ask you something.” He smiles at me, looking deep into my eyes.

“What is it?”

“Still think it wasn’t fate?” His eyebrow raises and he shifts a bit to turn toward me, wincing in pain.

“I-I don’t know...Maybe it was coincidental, I’m definitely here for some reason, I’ll give you that, Rambo.” I smooth my hands over his cheeks, pressing another kiss to his lips.

“Let’s call it coincidentally kismet then.” All those weeks ago, he said that it was fate that brought us back together while I argued it was nothing more than a coincidence, and I still do. But I know now that what happened with Will and me was a mixture of both.

“Okay, Rambo. You and me . . . we are coincidentally kismet.”