Chapter 8
8
IRENE
Irene was waiting by the garage door when she heard Barrett pull in. Their situation was a strange one and strained in ways she could barely define. They went from strangers to occasional texts to husband and wife – all because both were desperate for aid in a way that neither expected. He was afraid to lose everything, and she had been given a new life, a new blessing to grow and raise by a person who treated her awful.
Two desperate people.
Two completely different situations.
That kiss after they had said ‘I do’ had left both of them rattled, almost as much as leaving the courthouse. The pretending had felt so real. Maybe in another world, another life, under different circumstances, they could have been those ‘joyous people in love’ who ran down the steps, hugging and laughing, holding hands and looking at each other. He’d asked for the performance of a lifetime – and they both delivered.
Barrett had been so thrilled, stopping to talk to the reporter.
“Hey there!” he’d said in a jubilant voice, turning and smiling at her. “I guess my other secret is out in the open now too – fellas – meet my wife, Irene…”
Irene closed her eyes at that moment, turning away from the garage door to take another moment or two, precious seconds, as she thought about those moments on the courthouse steps.
Barrett had turned to her, touched her cheek, and then leaned in, kissing her with a tenderness that she’d never experienced in her entire life. That quiver in her stomach had turned into a full-blown convulsion of the soul as her heart flipped wildly at the attention. He’d backed away slightly, giving her a smile, before pulling her to him in a hug – like he cared.
It was an act.
The only person who cared in her life was sound asleep on the sofa, completely worn out from the excitement of the day. The kids at school had invited him to play on the playground, asked him questions about Barrett, and treated him like he was normal – and he was to her. He was her baby, her child, her life; but he was also a growing boy who was starting to slowly assert himself by picking out his own food, his own clothes and giving his opinion of stuff. Those teenage years would be here before she knew it, and she sighed just as the door to the house opened.
“Hey,” Barrett said in a hushed voice, and she poured them both a cup of coffee.
“Hey,” she replied, using his greeting. “You okay?”
“No,” he whispered honestly, giving her a raw and emotional look with eyes that looked glossy. “I’m not sure what I feel right now – but ‘okay’ isn’t anywhere near that. Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure,” she replied quietly, not holding back. “Scared, nervous, intimidated,” she volunteered and gave him a wry smile. “which are all things that I don’t normally feel. Usually, I stress about the bills, groceries, or putting gas in the car, but this is definitely not the ‘norm’ for me.”
“Me neither,” he confessed and reached for the coffee – only to stop and move slightly to the left, touching her hand instead. Neither said a word as he simply laid his palm on the back of her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. She looked up at him, feeling her chin wobble precariously as her eyes stung… and met his glistening ones.
“I promise you things are going to be okay,” he said hoarsely. “I will make sure of it because I’m on a road I never imagined now… and I need someone on my side.”
“I’m here,” she whispered openly, her voice just as hoarse and emotional. “I never thought to marry again, but then again, I never dreamed I would have another baby… yet here we are. I’ll make our place a home, and if you need support - I’ll be there.”
“Same,” he offered and hesitated, turning slightly to her and drawing her into his arms, hugging her tightly as a sob escaped him. He started to pull away – and she clung to him, welcoming him back into her arms, hugging him closely.
“I’ve got you…”
“I feel like such a traitor,” he whispered thickly. “I wasn’t even looking for another team, and it was like everything spiraled out of control.”
“I understand that feeling…”
“I know – and I’ll be… I’ll do everything I can to be part of your lives.”
“I just don’t want to be alone again. It’s so hard those first few months, those first years,” she reiterated softly, her nose stinging with emotion. This was the first time that she’d really touched on what it was like with Stephen. “There were so many appointments, so many tests, checkups, follow-ups, and… and there was the feedings every two hours. I was a zombie – and alone.”
“You won’t be this time,” he promised, hugging her tightly. “I’ve never changed a diaper but…”
Irene laughed tearfully – and heard him join in a moment later. Gosh, it felt so good to simply cry it out and laugh with someone who got just how screwed up this world was. Yeah, they were on a rollercoaster, but at least they were being flung around in the same car, on the same vomit-comet. Barrett leaned back, withdrawing from the hug, and smiled softly at her before wiping his eyes.
“This didn’t happen,” he whispered in a hushed voice. “I’ve got an image to uphold.”
“I’m not good for your ego, remember?” she smiled and saw him do the same. They stood there, looking at each other for several moments, and finally, both sighed making them laugh once more at the strange similarities.
“Tell ya’ what, wife…” he mocked playfully. “Since Stephen is out and sawing logs over on the couch, why don’t you two stay this evening and just sleep here.”
“I’m not sleeping with you,” she said growing serious.
“I wasn’t leading toward that, but since you brought it up – it’s not like you can get any pregnant- er …”
“Wow. Pregnant- er ?”
“Pregnant ed ? Dual-preg nicated? ”
“Oh my gosh, would you just hush while you’re ahead?”
“I’m ahead?”
“No, you’re slow and falling behind – but I thought I’d be nice.”
“Heaven help me if this is the nice version of you.”
“Heads up – heaven’s not listening,” she smarted off bitterly, and that caused him to pause as he looked at her in surprise. “What?”
“Maybe you should take a look around before you say things like that,” he chided openly. “You have a brilliant kid who is healthy, you’ve been given a chance to have another one, you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and a person at your side willing to take anything and everything ‘on’ in exchange for your friendship only. Some would say that Heaven is listening and delivering.”
Barrett hesitated and looked at her once more, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking. “And I could use a dose of my own medicine because I just realized while everything in my life is falling apart… I need to open my own eyes. I have a job that pays ridiculously, a roof over my head, the best cup of coffee in the world from a woman who’s promised to stick with me through thick and thin, a stepson who’s amazing, and a child on the way. For a guy who had nothing – it turns out that I’ve got a lot, and I need to change my outlook to ‘forward’ instead of ‘backward’. I’m going to bed, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“It’s our wedding night.”
“You’re not getting any of this,” he retorted, waving his hands up and down his torso in a mocking gesture. “This is all for me – and you can’t touch a thing until we establish some rules later on down the road. Good night.”
And walked off.
“Wait, Barrett…” she hesitated and saw him glance over his shoulder. “Where am I supposed to sleep?”
There was no guest room… yet. She felt weird ordering furniture for a person without having any input into what he liked or what kind of styles he preferred. She certainly didn’t want to order something rustic if he liked sleek, modern lines. The couch had seen better days, and Stephen was indeed snoring over there. Tomorrow was Saturday, and he didn’t have school, so she could easily stay the night – if there was a place to sleep.
“Figure it out,” he replied and walked off, turning into the bedroom… and left the door open.
“I’m not sleeping with you!” she hollered again – grateful it wouldn’t disturb her son.
“I didn’t ask you to,” he hollered back.
Standing there, she huffed angrily and marched down the hallway to remove a blanket from the linen closet for Stephen. As she stood there, pulling out a buttery soft quilt that she fell in love with, she glanced to her side toward the open doorway. Barrett’s back was toward her as he slowly pulled his T-shirt over his head and tossed it into the hamper before walking toward the bathroom just out of sight.
Irene couldn’t say how long she stood there, waiting, the memories of everything that had happened or occurred in the last few weeks rolling through her head. Every text, every brief conversation, every discussion… and swallowed.
He was right.
She was being given the answer to all of her prayers, even if they weren’t quite the answers she’d been expecting. Marriage brought security, health insurance, comfort, and most unexpectedly – friendship if she chose to accept it. He wasn’t pressing her for anything except his companionship and treated her son like gold. No man in the world had done that for her son except him – and he’d done it from day one without being prompted.
Walking slowly toward the living room, she draped the quilt over Stephen and kissed his brow. She drifted to the kitchen, turned off the coffeemaker, and ignored the cup she’d poured, leaving it untouched. Grabbing a piece of paper, she wrote a quick note for her son in case he woke up, wondering where they were.
We slept here tonight – just come wake me up when you get this.
Love,
Mommy
Placing it next to the couch, she drew in a deep breath and rose to her feet, steeling herself for whatever was coming next. Turning slightly, she saw Barrett watching her. He was standing in the hallway, wearing a white tank top and running shorts… holding a toothbrush in its carton.
“I see we have extras?” he said softly, smiling, as he extended it toward her. “It’s my peace offering to a friend.”
She took a step forward, looking at him.
“I accept your peace offering,” she whispered quietly. “I’m not ready for anything – and I hope you understand that. I keep having my feet knocked out from under me, and I’d like to find my place.”
“I’m not pressuring you for anything – except snoring,” he smirked. “Tell me you don’t snore like Stephen does.”
“I don’t,” she chucked, giving him a wary smile. “So, you’re really okay with this?”
“I can hide my nympho-tendencies,” he mocked, rolling his eyes as she swatted him with the toothbrush. “Ow! What happened to my peace offering? I mean, if you’re into weird stuff like spanking then… Owwww !”
“Knock it off, Barrett.”
“I’m done – I swear,” he said playfully, walking backward down the hallway, watching her. “I don’t want to end up in the ER stabbed with an Oral B toothbrush. What would the media say – ‘Here lies Barrett Coeur, who is currently between teams – died from oral…”
“Ya know,” she blurted out, raising a hand in a ‘stop’ motion, closing her eyes in dismay as she frowned heavily at him. “Whatever you’re about to say should be polite, kind, and child-friendly.”
He stood there, grinning.
“Well?”
“It’s not child-friendly,” he laughed – and then winked at her before turning away. “C’mon. I’ll even let you have the new pillows. I’m kinda addicted to my old feather one – and no hogging the blankets.”
Minutes later, she had kicked off her shoes, tucked her socks in them, and gingerly removed her bra, sleeping in her T-shirt and jeans. The moment she lay down, she yanked the quilt over her for decency… and heard his chuckle in the darkness.
“I’m not even facing you, Irene.”
“You might roll over.”
“Nope.”
“You could.”
“But I won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“I know.”
“You don’t know everything.”
“I know some things – and I know I’m not touching you.”
“I didn’t want you to anyhow.”
“I know.”
Irene lay there on her back, adjusted slightly, and then huffed once more before adjusting again. It was exceedingly quiet except for Stephen’s little snores – which weren’t so bad. It was something she was used to, and honestly, it was probably genetic. She’d been accused of snoring more than once in her life and chuckled at the thought.
“Excuse me,” Barrett said quietly in the dark. “I’m trying to sleep.”
“So, sleep… go ahead.”
“I can’t with all that huffing, giggling, and flopping around over there.”
“I’m not doing any of that.”
“Sheesh – is this what married life is like for people? Someone hogs the bed sheets and pillows - while the other person can’t sleep?”
“I never stole the pillow!” she retorted in a hushed voice, looking toward where he should be lying in the pitch black of the room. “You told me to take the new pillow, so I did, and now you’re…”
“Irene?”
“What!”
“I know we barely know each other, but I like to mock, tease, and pick on people when I’m nervous or uncomfortable. None of the garbage I’m spewing is accurate. It’s just me trying to keep the silence from being unbearable because this is… new . It’s new to me, and I’m trying to figure out some things in my head. Just ignore me, and I’ll try to do better – okay? Now, get some rest. You’re safe here.”
She blinked in the darkness, completely disarmed at his admission. This was her new life, her new world and he was offering her safety in more ways than one. This was not what she expected. He was dropping his walls and giving her a glimpse of who he was, which made her wonder about all those terse moments and the text messages – was that his way of communicating because he wasn’t entirely sure how to reach her?
“Barrett?”
“Oh boy, here we go again…” he groaned in obvious annoyance.
“Sweet dreams,” she said simply, ignoring his muttered statement. “And you’re fine – thank you for sharing.”
“You’re welcome… and good night.”
Nervously, she turned away and tugged the blanket up around her shoulders, listening to the silence and finally drifted off to sleep.