Chapter 13
13
COEUR
A week later, they were finally falling into a routine around the house and, thankfully, everything was going well. Stephen had started his new school, and he was able to meet the teacher with Irene.
Barrett knew Irene could handle it alone, but there was something important about being there for both of them if they needed anything, almost like silent support. A part of him felt guilty for all the changes he was dragging them through, which is why he was trying to spoil them. The Gameboy, the minivan, the rooms set up at the house, all of it. He wanted them happy because they made him feel that way.
Today was Irene’s first doctor’s appointment. He was going to be late to practice, but thankfully approved by the coach, who understood. He knew she was nervous because she hadn’t said much at all this morning, not even when he brought her coffee in bed. There was only one time that she admitted that she was frightened and overwhelmed about the possibility of the baby having a defect – and he hoped for both of their sakes that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t that it mattered to him, but he wanted more children someday. If something was wrong, it might affect her willingness to do so - if they ever took those steps forward.
“Oh man, I hope so too…” he muttered under his breath, bouncing his foot nervously, feeling his heart clench wildly in his chest at the idea of intimacy with his wife.
“You hope what?” she asked softly in a hushed voice.
“I hope we get to do a sonogram today,” he ad-libbed, trying to cover up his own thoughts, and saw her nod just before her cheeks turned pink as she looked away.
“The first visit is usually a complete workup. Blood work, urine test, ultrasound, history, measuring the fundus, and…”
“Measuring the what ?” he gaped, turning and looking at her quickly. “Did you just drop the ‘f’ word on me?”
“It’s the measurement from the pubis to the top of the…”
“Okay – that’s another word we don’t say unless we’re in bed,” he blurted out distractedly, not bothering to lower his voice causing several women to chuckle around them.
“Is this your first child?” one woman asked, looking at them.
“Yes,” he said – as Irene answered ‘No.’
“Barrett,” Irene whispered, tugging his hand and urging him closer so she could whisper to him. “They use a bunch of anatomical terms, and there’s nothing sexual about it.”
“Can we make it that way?” he whispered back fervently, gazing at her as her beautiful eyes widened, her lips parted, and then she burst out laughing in his face.
Ego. Completely. Shriveled.
“You’re so funny,” she chuckled, patting his hand. “I swear, you kill me sometimes.”
“That’s me – a funny guy,” he replied evasively in a monotone voice. “Funny, funny, Barrett.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Coeur?” the nurse called out in the distance – and they stood immediately. He motioned for Irene to take the lead, following her back to the doctor’s office. As they stepped into the room, everything seemed to happen so fast. He was staring at the equipment, vaguely listening as the nurse spoke to Irene, and saw the television in the upper corner before turning around.
“Where’d the nurse go?” he blurted out. “Are we finished already, and I missed it?”
“I’ve got to change.”
“Into what?” he asked stupefied and saw her amused smile.
“Just turn around or get out for a few minutes.”
“I’m not missing this – and I don’t know what’s happening, so that’s a big ‘NO’ from me.”
“I figured as much, so turn around so I can take off my pants.”
“Yet another big ‘NO’ from me,” he grinned, laughing. “If you are taking off your pants and I’m in the room – I’m watching.”
Irene rolled her eyes at him – and shrugged. To his shock, she simply donned the cloth gown over her shirt, looked at him, and raised an eyebrow, before reaching under the gown and yanking down her pants.
He cursed and rolled his eyes so hard.
“It figures you would find some way to ruin this for me.”
“Barrett!” she hissed in disbelief laughing at him. “I told you to leave the room, and you said ‘no.’”
“Uh, hello? You were talking about stripping out of your clothing – I am not leaving for that.”
“Which is precisely why I change in the bathroom each evening into my pajamas.”
“Which is precisely why I’m removing the bathroom doorknob,” he shot back quickly – and saw her smile. Gosh, he loved her smile and how she just ‘got’ him, knowing he was full of himself. “I’m not,” he muttered, looking away. “But I do think it’s cute you are modest.”
“I know,” she replied, looking at him tenderly. “Which is why I trusted you to stay with me.”
“You can always trust me. I may mouth a lot, but I won’t ever cross a line with you. I may walk that ‘line’ like I’m being given a sobriety test – but I won’t cross it.”
And the nurse walked in with the doctor before either of them could say anything else.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Pierce and I understand we’ve got some happy news to check out for you, Mrs. Coeur?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect. Let’s get started then,” the doctor began easily, and Barrett stood right beside Irene, holding her hand, as the doctor shot off a volley of questions that he didn’t know the answers to. They were very private, invasive, open questions that Irene answered quietly, clutching his hand – obviously nervous.
The doctor then turned and nodded, as the nurse flipped on the television, and Irene began to lie back on the bed. A pair of stirrups were unfolded from the side of the bed – and he held up a hand.
“Hang on – dumb ol’ guy here and brand-new daddy – but what’s with the sexy stuff?” he blurted out, and all three of the women started laughing at him, sharing a look.
“Mr. Coeur,” the doctor began, smirking. “While I appreciate a good comedy skit as much as the next person, the next several months, we are all going to get pretty close, discuss some personal things, and for me to check the baby inside of your wife – well – things get very close in a clinical manner. No sexy stuff here, okay? That is for home, and you already knew that because she’s pregnant.”
Barrett swallowed and shot a glance at Irene. He didn’t know what this entailed – and he wasn’t the father, but neither had mentioned it… yet.
“I’m not the biological father,” he said quietly. “I will be its Daddy when the child is born.”
“You already are,” Irene replied tenderly, clasping his hand and sharing a warm gaze with him. “She’s going to check me with a scope from the inside…”
“Say what?” he managed to strangle out, shocked.
“The uterus is inside of the woman,” the doctor chuckled, wiggling a wand at him before squirting something on it – and the temperature in the room became stifling within seconds. He knew his eyes were about to bug out of his head, but Irene had a death-grip on his hand.
“I’m here,” he said moving carefully back. “I’m not looking, Irene.”
“I know, just if… if something…”
“Shhh, I’ve got you,” he interrupted, hearing the emotion in her voice as he looked at the woman gazing up at him in such a trusting yet worried manner – and needed to distract her while the doctor looked at things first. “Hey, I was thinking. We should do a date night. Do you want to go out with me, Mrs. Coeur?”
“What?” she whispered tearfully, looking at him in disbelief only to see her flinch slightly. “Sorry. It's cold.”
“Yeah,” he smiled at her, nodding. “We should start dating. Let’s think of something we can do as a family, with Stephen, and then end each evening with just the two of us so that we can connect.”
“I’d love that.”
I love you, he thought wildly and bit his tongue as he nodded simply, not looking away from Irene’s eyes. “Doctor Pierce, we’re both a little worried that something might be going on, and with the move - we delayed this first visit to get settled… can we look at the screen? Is anything wrong?”
Irene’s bright blue eyes were about to overflow with tears as she stared at him silently. He could see the gratitude and relief in her gaze – asking carefully the words she couldn’t bring herself to say.
“I’ve got your back, Troll doll,” he breathed tenderly and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “We’ll do this together.”
“Well,” the doctor began and he saw Irene tense, her lips quivering with a sob about to break forth as he held his breath, waiting for the doctor’s next words tensely. “It looks like you are almost at four months – and we’ve got a healthy little baby moving around. Everything looks perfect.”
Irene’s eyes widened, and Barrett felt his heart melt into his sneakers as he gazed at her, his own eyes watering. “You hear that?” he breathed reverently, staring at the emotions reflected at him in her gaze. “We’ve got a healthy… um,” and turned to look at the screen – and laughed. “We’ve got a healthy little…well, blob .”
“It’s a beautiful blob,” Irene chuckled emotionally, releasing his hand and as he turned back to glance at her, she had already wrapped her arm around his waist, tugging him closer and hugging him tightly. It was the weirdest hug he’d ever experienced, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. “Our blob, Barrett.”
“I freakin’ love our blob,” he grinned, staring at the screen completely smitten with the child growing within the woman who’d captured his heart and soul.
A n hour later, carrying a diaper bag full of stuff and a book to read about parenting and pregnancy, they stopped at a pastry shop to get coffee and something to eat. He was going to have to take her home quickly and get to the rink so he didn’t get in trouble, but he was still riding an emotional high after the visit.
“Did you mean it?” Irene asked suddenly in the silence of the car.
“Mean what?”
“Nothing…”
“Irene…” he grumbled, glancing at her briefly. “I’m trying to drive, and all I want to do is pull over and hug you tightly right now because I’m so stupidly thrilled about the baby. Do not make me guess what is going through your head – just spit it out because my brain isn’t ‘ braining’ right now. I wanna beat on my chest, salute all the other dads in the world, and grunt ‘manly stuff’ like a caveman. Seeing your knees in the air, knowing there’s a baby in your belly… well, it does things to me.”
And heard silence as he exited, causing him to glance at her once more in alarm – and did a double take.
“That’s hot…” she breathed, staring at him and her eyes?
*tilt!*
“Oh here we go…” he mindlessly yelped and pulled over the van in a rush, stomping on the brakes. His pointer finger was mashing the hazard lights in a frantic motion as he ripped at his seatbelt, trying to get it off. “Screw this and screw being nice… selfish works just fine!”
“Get this off me…” Irene was hissing, yanking at her belt at the same time, pulling at it as he planted a foot on the small space between the two captain’s chairs of the vans, reached over, and nearly ripped the handle off the passenger seat, laying it down. He was behind her seat within seconds, tucking his hands under her arms, and physically dragged her over the back of the reclined seat onto the bench in the back. Everything moved so fast, so smoothly, he was kneeling above her, moving to kiss her – and paused.
“Tell me this is…”
“Would you shut up?”
“Shutting!” he blurted out and then kissed her passionately. Their mouths locked as her arms wrapped around him so tightly, pulling him to her, and oh, he was here for it! He wasn’t joking either – the doctor’s visit was a mixture of surprises to his system, visceral signals to his ‘I’m a man’ part of his brain, while making his heart melt knowing he was going to raise a family with this incredible woman.
“Oh man, Irene…” he breathed against her lips, losing himself in the taste and sensation of what it was like to kiss her.
“Why haven’t we kissed like this before?” she murmured back, arching toward him, whispering those words against his lips like a siren singing to him.
“I’m an idiot…”
“Stubborn…”
“Okay, I’m a stubborn idiot…” he chuckled tenderly.
“I meant me,” she laughed – and he treasured the feeling her body tremble beneath him – before realizing that they were on the bench of the van, on the side of the road. Anyone could pull over and see them, and this was not the image he was supposed to present… nor did he want his wife’s name dragged through the mud. “We should do this stuff at home.”
“Promise?”
“You’re killing me, Troll doll…” he breathed softly, caressing her cheek and savoring the way she was looking at him like he mattered. He would never forget her eyes and see them in his dreams until the day he died.
“Date night – tonight,” she urged firmly, holding his gaze.
“You got it,” he promised.
“Really?”
“Just kiss me like this again…”
“Every time…”
“I’ve gotta get to the rink, and every time you speak, I melt.”
“What if I whisper things to you this evening during our date?”
“I’ll die of a heart attack,” he chuckled and saw her curious gaze as she stroked an errant strand of his hair back from her face where it fell, tucking it behind his ear tenderly. “You can’t make me think sexy stuff in front of Stephen and expect me not to react.”
“Do I affect you?”
“Do you have to ask?”
She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it, hesitating. He gave her a simple look, lifting a brow and smirking at her pointedly, before moving to touch her lip and saw her smile knowingly.
“It’s hard to just say what is in my head,” she whispered, and he understood. “But I was just thinking that this is nice, that we are figuring out how we fit together, and I’m really happy, Barrett.”
“I’m happy too,” he admitted, not holding back. “I want us to have it all – and I think we will in time.”
“I do, too.”
“Let’s get you home so I can take my car and leave you with the van – oh, and I think my knee is in the croissants.”
“How do you know?” she chuckled softly.
“Something smushed under me.”
“My cream puffs,” she pouted – and he kissed her lower lip affectionately.
“I’ll get you more, I swear it,” he promised and then paused. “Oh, and make sure we don’t have anything planned on Saturday. They’re doing a ‘meet the team’ family night, and everyone will be there with their families.”
“Oh?”
“Yep. I’m getting your jerseys today, which is why I have to go.”
“We’re supposed to wear jerseys?”
“Babe, you’re both going to have Coeur on your back and number twelve on the front. If you ever come to a game, I want you to wear it for me so I can see you in the stands…”
“I want to see you play,” she interrupted softly and then gave him a lopsided smile. “Get off me because I’ve gotta go to the bathroom – and save what is left of my cream puffs.”
“I’ll be your cream puff,” he taunted, wagging his eyebrows at her.
“You’re my dumpster fire, Cream Puff,” she tossed affectionately, and he laughed, knowing it was so true.
“Always, my dear,” he promised, smiling at her, his voice a vow wrapped in quiet reverence. The words felt sacred, an unbreakable oath sealed in the warmth of her presence.
He lingered for just a moment longer, allowing himself to memorize the softness in her eyes, the way her breath hitched ever so slightly at his closeness. Everything in him wanted to stay, to hold her, to let the world outside this minivan fade into nothingness.
But reality intruded like a harsh slap.
With a reluctant exhale, Barrett pulled away, shifting back into the driver’s seat just as the telltale glow of red and blue lights flared in the rearview mirror. A police car eased to a stop behind them, its presence a stark reminder that they couldn’t stay lost in each other forever—not here, not now. He let out a slow, resigned chuckle, running a hand over his jaw.
Yep.
Time to move.
Still, he was grateful for the interruption, for the simple fact that neither of them had crossed a line they couldn’t undo. The thought of making love to Irene in a minivan— even on the wildest of whims —was unthinkable. Not because he didn’t crave her, because heaven help him, he did. Every fiber of his being ached to claim her, to show her in every possible way just how deeply she had embedded herself into his heart. But she deserved more.
So much more.
No, their first time would never be a rushed, desperate moment stolen in the cramped confines of a vehicle. It would be something worthy of her. Of them.
Because what they had—what they were building together—wasn’t casual, wasn’t reckless, wasn’t something he would ever take lightly. This wasn’t just passion or infatuation. It wasn’t fleeting.
This was his future. His life.
His legacy.
His love.
And what they shared, the fragile, precious thing growing between them, was more valuable to him than he could ever put into words. It wasn’t just desire—it was devotion, unshakable and unwavering. And Barrett knew, with absolute certainty, that he would do nothing— nothing —to risk losing it.