Chapter Thirty-Three
Thirty-Three
“Colin?”
My eyelids fluttered. I knew that voice. It was deep and lovely and made me feel all warm inside.
“Colin? Wake up, okay? I need you to wake up.”
There was a note of fear in the voice now and I didn’t like that, so with considerable effort I forced my eyes open.
It was like lifting two concrete slabs, but I got there eventually.
As things swam into focus, something dark loomed over me and I flinched instinctively, my thoughts filling with ravenous shadows.
But it was just the silhouette of someone crouched over me, haloed by the faint fluorescents overhead.
“There you are,” Eric murmured. His eyes crinkled a little at the corners as he smiled, but I could see concern in their depths.
“Here I am,” I mumbled. My throat felt like it was filled with sand. I made the mistake of trying to reach for him with my right hand and the sudden spike of pain in my shoulder made me gag a little.
“Don’t move,” he told me, unnecessarily. “You’re pretty banged up.”
“I thought you were—” I swallowed, unable to continue. A tear slid down the side of my face as I stared up at him.
“I’m okay.” Drying blood had left a dark smear across his forehead and down his jaw.
“Amira? Lex?”
“See for yourself.” He sounded amused as he glanced pointedly off to my right. Turning my head, I was treated to the sight of my two friends kissing. No, not kissing—making out. Hard.
“What the hell?” I struggled to sit upright but then subsided when Eric placed a hand on my chest.
“I noticed it as soon as I saw them together. You didn’t?”
Now that he mentioned it, I had picked up on some vague vibes, but I’d been too distracted to give it much thought.
I’d only ever known Amira to date cis men, and Lex’s emotional state was set permanently to “irritated.” Watching them really go at it, though, I gave an inward shrug.
It was far from the strangest thing to happen lately.
Belatedly, I asked the question that I probably should have posed first. “Did we win?”
Eric nodded wearily. “I think so. You disappeared inside that thing and we heard it scream. Then it…imploded. Like it was sucked into something.”
“Sucked where?”
He held up the Black Blade. “I think it’s in here.”
I let my eyes drift closed again. “Great,” I mumbled. His hand came to rest against the side of my face. “I really want to hold your sword sometime,” I think I said, before I went away again.
If this were some feel-good story where everything works out and only the villains get their proper comeuppance, the people who’d disappeared would miraculously return after we destroyed The-One-Who-Hungers.
But this isn’t that kind of story. Ms. Crenshaw had been right—things weren’t going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow.
The final count of the missing eventually stood at somewhere over a million people.
It was a devastating number, but given what I’d loosed on the world, it could have been much, much worse.
There was panic and recriminations and a thousand different theories about what had happened to all those people, but Dark Enterprises made sure that none of those theories got anywhere close to the truth. Our secrets remained safe.
In the end, the government issued some vague statement about an act of terrorism committed by persons unknown.
As explanations went, it was unsatisfying and nonsensical, but most people ultimately shrugged and turned their attention to more pressing matters like college football and The Masked Singer.
New York itself would take years to recover, but on the upside, there was a lot of unoccupied real estate and it was priced to sell.
The day after our climactic battle against an Abomination, I met Eric at Madison Square Park.
I’d called in sick to work—I figured I’d earned it—and after fourteen hours of sleep I was feeling almost human again.
Now that the disappearances had stopped, people were slowly daring to venture out from their homes, but the two of us still had the park entirely to ourselves.
I found him sitting on a bench, watching pigeons coo and peck at the ground.
His injuries were gone, as were mine. He’d used the Conclave’s magic to heal us both while I was unconscious.
“Hi,” I said quietly as I sat down.
“Hey.” He gave me a smile that faded a little when he noticed the careful distance I was keeping. “How are you?”
“Fine.” I looked away from him. “Look—” I started to say.
“Colin—” he said at the same moment.
We both smiled this time.
“You go,” I told him.
He was quiet for a few moments, gaze lowered. Then he looked up at me. “I know things between us are uncertain right now. And that’s okay. We can take whatever time we need to figure things out. First, though, I want to give you this.”
I looked down at the Black Blade, lying in the palm of his hand. Was it my imagination, or did restless shadows now move within the dull metal? “I assumed the Conclave would want this back.”
“They do, especially because it didn’t destroy the Abomination after all. They think it’s too dangerous in any hands but theirs.”
I said nothing as I studied the ancient knife. With it, I would have real leverage. Was it worth the risk?
“Take it,” he urged softly.
“What does this mean for you?” I asked instead.
He let out a long breath. “They’re already angry with me for…borrowing it without permission. Giving this to an employee of Dark Enterprises on top of that would mean excommunication from the Conclave. Banishment from their ranks.”
“Then I’m not taking it.”
Eric gave me a sad little smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve already quit.”
I stared at him. “What? Why?”
He lowered his head, gaze focused now on the bench between us.
“I’ve been unhappy for a while now. Following orders without question…
it started to chafe. I was expected to be an instrument of the Conclave’s will, nothing more.
And then I met you.” His lips quirked wryly, though he didn’t look up.
“I’ve never met anyone so determined to control his own destiny.
Nothing stops you. Not even the fate of the entire world. ”
Despite myself, I laughed. “I guess I deserve that.”
“It’s inspiring, honestly.” His eyes rose to meet mine. “Frightening as hell, but inspiring.”
Silence fell between us while pigeons wandered around and dusty sunlight trickled through the leaves overhead. Then I cleared my throat. “If you’re sure, then I’ll take the Blade. It’ll give me something to bargain with.”
Wordlessly, he held it out again, and this time I picked it up. The hilt shivered against my hand and I gripped it, hard, until it quieted.
“The Conclave is going to be very upset when they discover I’ve given that to you.” He sighed. “Corrine tried to take it from me before she left. More will come, eventually.”
“I’m not worried.” Setting the knife carefully on the bench, I reached out and slipped my hand into his. “We really messed things up between us, didn’t we?”
He nodded. “Mistakes definitely were made. On both sides.”
I ran my thumb across his knuckles. He had such beautiful hands. “Eric.” He watched me silently. “I think you’re amazing. You’re strong and caring and sweet. Yes, you were sent here to kill me before I could free an Abomination, but now, sitting here, I’m so glad we found each other.”
His fingers tightened on mine. “Me too.”
Taking a deep breath, I said simply, “I love you.”
He smiled at me, eyes bright with tears, but his only response was to squeeze my hand again.
“More than anything, I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.” I paused, then gathered my courage and pushed on.
“But I’m not leaving Dark Enterprises. For the first time in my life, I have a chance to chart my own course rather than wait for other people to do it for me.
And if the past few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that I don’t need help getting to the top after all.
I’m a straight-up badass, and I’m going to take what I want. ”
His smile faded, just a little, but he said nothing.
“This is who I am, Eric. I’m not interested in redemption. I don’t need to be saved. I’m going to own this world someday, and when I do, I hope you’ll be at my side.” I looked away, unable to meet his gaze any longer. “If you can’t do that, though, I’ll understand.”
He was quiet for a long time. “Well, nobody’s perfect,” he said at last.
I blinked at him.
“I think I understand why you need this,” he went on.
“And while I can’t condone what Dark Enterprises does, I also can’t hold you responsible for the actions of an entire company.
” He laughed suddenly. “This certainly isn’t where I thought I’d end up when I first saw you.
You were just another misguided, dangerous person who had to be stopped.
But I know you now. You’re more complicated than that. And I’m okay with complicated.”
“So…you want to stay?” I asked uncertainly. “With me?”
“I’m willing to give it a try,” he murmured, before leaning closer and kissing me.
When I got back to the apartment, I closed the door and leaned back against it. Amira and Lex were sitting together on the sofa, and as the door clicked shut they both turned to stare at me, arms crossed along the back.
“We’ve been waiting forever,” Amira said.
“How did it go?” Lex asked.
“I still want to have his babies,” I sighed.
Amira’s eyebrows went up. “So it went well?” she hazarded.
“You’re back together?” Lex added with an expression of disbelief.
I peeled myself off the door. “We’re going to see what happens. The Conclave might decide to murder both of us, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Lex eyed me, then exchanged a look with Amira.
Those two had been inseparable since we’d defeated The-One-Who-Hungers.
“Our minds connected during that ritual,” she’d told me when I asked her about it.
“I was intrigued before that, but knowing them in such a profound and intimate way—” Her eyes went all misty. “I think they might be my soul mate.”
Facing down an ancient horror had left its mark on all three of us, in different ways.
Amira had learned of worlds and realities she’d never imagined before, and her curiosity was voracious.
She wanted to know everything, and I think that was what Lex adored about her the most. The two of them spent a lot of time with their heads together, talking esoteric nonsense, and it was sort of sweet in a weird way.
For their part, Lex had found a little tribe of fellow misfits willing to put up with their crap, which seemed to be the closest thing to family they’d had in a long time.
And as for me, I’d learned a lot about myself.
I knew what I wanted, and I was prepared to go after it.
There was just the small matter of the death sentence almost certainly hanging over my head—again.