Chapter 46
The funeral
Scarlett
The weeks after I struck a bargain for Cass Macarley’s release felt like reality punched me in the face and made my nose bleed.
Once the dust settled with Endo, my father transferred all his possessions to me and designated Wilfred as my keeper.
Which means my father made me wealthy, but Wilfred is taking over that wealth.
Apparently, my dad is done playing small and wants to enter the public arena, where he can do more evil on a greater scale.
But the issue is that his money is dirty, and if found out, he could face a lifetime in prison.
So he’s severing ties, cleaning house, and giving up all his possessions to his eldest daughter, who people see as a doctor with a charitable reputation.
He is using me. My father is a criminal and a sociopath. Wilfred is the son he never had.
Two decades of my education were paid for with the blood money from wars in foreign lands.
My father financed networks that incited wars I never even knew were fought.
Meanwhile, I lived my happy little obedient life, thinking I was doing so much good by donating my time to his friends, who helped finance his endeavors.
As far as I’m concerned, all of today’s attendees can shrivel up and die. I wish I had it in me to tell the pastry chef to poison the wedding cake. But mass murder is best left to my father.
I can’t erase the blood on his hands or the fact that my degree was financed from that money.
Everything I own came from that. I’m stained for life.
Which is why this beautiful wedding dress Charlotte is fastening at my back is an obsidian mourning dress instead of a pearly white one. It’s beautiful, if somber.
My sister is wearing a matching dress.
“Hey,” she says from behind me, where she’s fixing my corset.
I lift my gaze from the gray floor to the mirror. “Yes?”
Her eyes are glossy and puffy from crying. “You never talk about him.”
Him. There’s only one him she’s interested in.
The less I speak, the more my sister insists I tell her about Endo, about my captivity with him.
But I can’t talk about Endo without crying or quite possibly dying if Wilfred figures out I have feelings for Endo, whom he hates with all his rotten heart.
“The corset is loose,” I say.
“If I tighten it any more, you won’t be able to breathe.”
“That’s what I’m going for.”
Charlotte pulls the strings, tightening the corset around my rib cage.
I can barely breathe. “Again.”
She tightens it more. It feels like a merciless hug. “At least my breasts look nice.”
“Wilfred will be pleased.” She watches my reaction in the mirror.
“I doubt it,” I manage to say. “He expects a bride in a white wedding dress.”
Charlotte smiles. “I’m so glad you’re a bad girl now and not doing what’s expected of you. The black wedding dress suits you.”
“Thanks.”
“Did Endo hurt you?”
“Don’t ask about him,” I say, and my chin quivers.
Charlotte doesn’t need much to know this whole wedding thing with Wilfred wasn’t my idea and that I’m being traded like cattle.
I think she’d tell me to run away if she ever found out I made a deal with Wilfred.
He released Cass Macarley on condition that I marry Wilfred.
We never agreed on the dress, and while this bit of rebellion is petty, it feels good for my soul. I’ll take all the goodness I can summon nowadays while I heal the wounds my dad inflicted when he told me my mother, whom I idolized, thought I was good for only one thing: serving patients.
She made herself into a victim when she married my dad, but the truth is that she never gave up her career. It was all a carefully crafted story she told me so that I would do what she wanted me to do. I wish I could ask her about it, but I can’t since she’s dead.
Not that it matters. This is my life now. I don’t get another, and I plan to live the best way I can because of it. Thank you for that wisdom, Slada.
On paper, I will remain married to Wilfred, but he and I will live separate lives. I’m due for my assignment next week, and he’ll stay behind, running my dad’s company.
Wilfred gets wealthy. I get the life I want. Endo gets his brother.
Charlotte can go on living oblivious to our father’s sins. She wipes the tears from my cheeks. “Please, Scarlett, talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
“There’s so much to say. Beatrice isn’t Josh’s.” She covers her mouth.
Oh fuck. “What?”
“Your turn.”
“No way! What do you mean she’s not his?”
“Your turn or I’m not telling.”
“Our father is an arms dealer.”
“Oh fuck,” she says. “Is that why Endo was after him?”
I nod. “Daddy double-crossed Endo’s brother. He kidnapped him and beat him. I made a deal to marry Wilfred so he would release Endo’s brother. Who is Beatrice’s father?”
Charlotte’s eyes are saucers.
“Your turn. Hurry up before we lose courage.”
“A fling I had the summer Mom told me that Josh came to ask for my hand in marriage.”
“You mean you slept with someone as an act of rebellion?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you mean to get pregnant?”
Charlotte shrugs. “I didn’t think about pregnancy.
He was hot. I knew him from before, from the beach.
They would never let me marry him. Besides, the guy sailed off somewhere, so I was his farewell fuck.
” She gets a wistful look. “I wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed with him. I wonder if I would be happy.”
“Are you not happy?”
“Beatrice is happy,” she says. “She has access to the best schools.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I want to know what he did to you.”
I shake my head. I can’t talk about Endo, or I’ll run from the deal I made with Wilfred. My life is at stake here, and now Charlotte is involved, and there is no way I’ll put her in harm’s way if Wilfred takes a hostage to get me back to the altar.
He wants my father’s fortune. He wants the criminal empire my father built. He’s not a good man, but he didn’t force himself on me once he secured the deal, so I want to keep it that way. I want him to feel secure in his position. We are getting married. He will inherit all the wealth he wants.
Tears now pour out of my eyes, but I anticipated this, so I wore waterproof mascara. Even so, smears appear under my eyes.
“Your makeup is melting.” Charlotte dabs my face with a tissue.
“What was his name?” I ask. I want to know if time heals. I want to know if, after almost a decade, Charlotte can say his name without having to call him him. I want to know if she can say it without crying or regret. If she can be happy just for the memories they shared.
She pauses. “Lenny. It was Lenny.”
My sister never got over that guy. Great. I cry harder.