C H A P T E R 53
C H A P T E R 53
CONSUMING MY MONSTERS
Puppet
I must have blacked out because I don't remember getting home.
Home .
I say the word like I truly belong here, but this is her home and I want her to feel that too.
I space out, glaring at the blanket wrapped around me as I sit up on the bed listening to her shuffling around in the living room, most likely cleaning up her mess and I can't help but wonder why. Why did she let me go, or more importantly, why did she come and find me? I’m trying to be angry at her but I'm too focused on his hands against my skin as I tremble feeling the dried-up tears stiffening my cheeks.
“I’m going to fuck you till you pass out sweetheart, doesn’t that sound fun?”
I shriek into my skin, feeling a new tear roll down my face, so caught up in the moment dissociating that I don’t even see her standing in front of me.
“ Baby ?” She whispers calmly until I fall back into the present, jumping at the sight of her. I didn’t know it was possible to capture anger and sadness in one expression but it’s exactly what she’s giving me. Once again punishing herself for my suffering, slowly edging towards me, crouching down to my level with her hands gently on my thighs.“You with me?”
She catches my tear like a feather against her thumb, consuming it with her tongue like holy water as she licks it but I push another one out. I nod timidly, glaring at the pain in her face and is it wrong for me to want her right now? I just want to forget. I just want her to consume me, fight away my nightmares. She saved my life, again . And she’s making it every bit harder to fight her away when she’s proved to me that my life belongs to her. That my sanity and everything I hold belong to her now.
She still has his blood smothering her face and she looks so disgustingly handsome I'm squeezing my thighs together feeling disgusting in my own body at the thought.
“What if someone finds him?” I whimper through broken sniffles. I'm more afraid to be found than anything. I don’t want to face the world; I don't want to face a world without her ever again.
“I’ve dealt with it.” She murmurs confidently and I have no doubt she did, probably another fire but it’s easy to disguise these incidents in heat like this and I feel calmer knowing we are in the clear. I skip the details, I’ve seen enough for one day but I wasn’t exactly frightened by his demise, it only pushed this sickening desire to let her animalistic nature destroy me. She pulls out my insulin, refusing to let me do it and my heart tightens, watching her tend to my skin so delicately. I will never get over how gentle she is with me but for right now, I don’t want her to be.
“Make me forget.” I whisper. She tries to read through my words, rationalise my thinking but there is nothing rational about any of this. I’m a prisoner in love with a killer, I don’t think this is exactly farfetched after the months I’ve had.
“ Innocence… ” She warns, and I know how weird that sounds, I don’t even understand why I want her but I need this. I’m still buzzing on adrenaline and shock, maybe this is a coping mechanism for my trauma but right now all I can think about is how I want her to ravish me and strip me bare of the innocence I may have left, I want her to show me how filthy I am for her, how much I desire to sin for her , defy god and worship the devil for her , obey her every command for her, unwrap all my layers of insecurities and make me trust completely in her , say words only to fuel my submission for her , corrupt my imagination for her.
I want her to make me touch myself in ways that would make ancestors turn in their grave, I want her to feel how deep inside me she can get until I can’t feel the air around me, I want to feel the blood rush to my head as she breaks the last of me, as she clutches to my throat like I’m someone she loathes, pushing me closer to hell with every thrust. Where my legs are immobile and I’m quivering around her length, praying to hell that she pulls me under and shows me no mercy.
“Please.” She is glaring at me like my words are the words of a mad man but the bob in her throat only indicates she wants to give me what I’m asking for as she caresses my thighs with her thumbs.
“What do you want?” She asks calmly and I nudge into her fingers as she begins to caress my cheekbone. I suck up my nerves, reaching for her face as she squints at my touch.
Play - ‘Hypnosis – Sleep Token’
“I want you to make me yours .” Her chest rises and falls, like she is trying to hold back her hunger, but I don’t want her to hold back, pressing my lips against her letting more tears crack down my red cheeks. “I don’t want you to hold back.”
My body is frail and damaged, beaten and broken, exactly how it should be. I finally understand what it means to feel alive. That moment when pain conquers all. When you are no longer afraid of pain, you can take on the world. He didn’t enter me. But it makes this need all the more prominent. I need her to show me that she is the only one who will EVER belong inside me. I want her to claim me and show me no mercy.
I can feel her depravity through the way she’s gripping me like we are sinking and I'm not holding my breath anymore, I'm ready to drown in her seas.
“You’re unbelievably foolish.” Her words crack through our heated kiss and I clamp my eyes shut focusing only on her hands against my frail body.
“Why?”
“Because when I'm done with you, there will be nothing left to save.” It's a good job I don’t want saving. I let her embrace the fragmented pieces of me only she can put back together as she squeezes me in her arms, leaning me back on the bed to devour my mouth.“Do you trust me, Alora?”
She peers down at me, searching for my fear but I’m no longer scared, I want to dance with her darkness, and I don’t hesitate.
“With every breath I take.” My words light up her face exposing that soft gaze she blesses me with, letting me know I am completely and entirely safe in her arms, taking both my hands and raising them up to her chest as she undoes her belt slowly. Something my pussy now reacts to with a painful throb between my thighs as she braids the leather around my wrists, pulling me up to meet the metal bars, tightening it through the metal hoop to trap me there, glaring at me with ominous intentions.
“You best spare those breaths then.” I inhale deeply, trying to calm my nerves, trying to push back the endless nights I spent chained to this bed. Feeling my temperature rising as I relive it. She drags my jeans off my bottom half exposing my bare thighs and I can see on her face that what she’s looking at is bringing out the monster buried inside her that I’ve been desperately trying to keep at bay but just for today, I’ll allow it.
She runs her tacky thumbs gently over what I can only assume are the marks he left on me and I make an unpleasant face, squeezing the creases under my eyes at the dull pain. I’ve not looked down, I don’t want to. I don’t want to picture the devastation he's left on my skin, I just want her to replace it. It was only for a brief moment but his touch was palpable and dehumanising and it felt like an eternity I was trapped beneath him.
He never made his way inside my body but it doesn’t matter, he made his way inside my mind and I don’t know which is worse.
“Pick a word. Any word. And if you say it, everything stops I promise.” I glare up at her in confusion, frustrated that even now she is so fixated on my safety and my feelings when I just want to switch off, but I think for a prolonged moment as she brushes the loose strands of hair out of my face.
“Sunflower.” I mumble through a gentle giggle and through the chaos she grins back before lowering her lips against my hot skin.
“Remember, you’re in control, Puppet . Just say the word and I’ll stop. I promise.” I focus on my toes, her voice ringing in my ear as she reassures me I’m not trapped. That I can let go beneath her. Something I desperately crave.
She exits the room for a moment, trundling back in with a duffle bag that clanks as it hits the wooden floor making my stomach drop, glaring at her with suspense, drawing out a sharp gasp when bloodied tools are pulled from the opening of the bag.
She dismembered him?!
“Monsters are real Puppet . But luckily you have one who’d kill for you.” I gape, blinking in shock but part of me aches at the thought. All this because he put his hands on me. Because he touched what belongs to her.
She runs her fingers against the metal, collecting the blood on the tips, staring at me through the murder on her face and I shudder, concentrating solely on her as she approaches the bed, straddling my hips, pinning me with her weight.
“You are a Clown, Alora.” My breath hitches, spacing out as I peer into her void at the clown above me, feeling violated as her ring finger and thumb find my face, trailing his innards against my skin to mimic her like a reflection.
“Give me a smile.” She coos, baring her teeth in the corner of her abused cheek and every moral thought I was clinging to makes my blood run molten hot with a sickly ill desire to play in her crazy, my dimples making an appearance underneath her as she paints my smile with her thumb.
“You are Mine.” Her confession makes her ill acts of service flood to the back of my mind, wearing his blood proudly as she thrusts between my thighs, drawing out an unspoken moan, the stench of iron churning my stomach.
“You’re foolish to Love me.” She thrusts harder against my pants and I can feel myself dripping to feel her inside my walls, to let her burrow her anguish and love inside me as she grinds forcefully against my clit. I break out in whimpers, pushing against her to cure this throbbing that's crushing me, succumbing to her sadistic nature to feel something. To erase my memories and replace it with her.
I’m safe. I’m in control. I’m hers.
A switch blade peers into view, flicking it to slide against the remnants of my battered top and my bra with it, sucking in every time she exposes my flesh like it’s the first time. Heat plagues my flesh as I coy away, wanting desperately for her to smother me in her skin.
“I’m going to shatter every perfect inch of your body until you break for me to fix.” She thinks I’m perfect even though I'm already broken and it’s infuriating that she can’t understand why I see what I see in her.
“Fix me Hayden. ” Her blade grazes my throat and I feel my airways close with adrenaline, nearly choking on her as she kisses me, sucking the little oxygen I have left and I’ve already broken. This is just the beginning, and I will shatter over and over again if it means I get to feel her tear me apart. I’d let her end me in every sense of the word.
Her pressure builds as she leans her weight on me, escalating my need to suck back in air, panicking at the thought of not being able to move.
“I’m right here. Breathe. In and out for me.” She's pushing me to control my body under pressure, to find my grip when I feel like I'm losing it, to find my strength when I'm weakest. This is not just about dominance or claiming her territory. This is a lesson in control. She’s helping me to fight my own demons. To let them know they cannot suffocate me when I am the one holding the gun.
I do as she says, one breath after another until my heart slows to a rhythmic symphony against her tongue on mine, reminding me that she’s right here.
“You will be the death of me, Alora Blackthorne.” My heart palpitates, knowing that I am her weakness but that gives me the opportunity to become her biggest strength if she allowed me to show her just how heavily I care for her.
“And I'll happily die right with you.” She kisses me harder and I didn’t know it was possible to feel a connection so deep through just our lips but it’s transcending and I’m moulding to her like wax. Burnt by her fire melting at her touch as she hurts me slowly, completely lost in our kiss that I don’t register the metal running the length of my frame, gliding between my slick thighs freezing me in place making her grin from ear to ear as she slices yet another pair of my pants leaving me bare and vulnerable. I blush with embarrassment as she places it beside her and begins to toy with my pussy, taking my nipple in her mouth with subtle force, sucking it until I buck, arching into her with a gentle sigh.
“Beg for my cock baby , beg me like you’re going to fucking die without it.” I will fucking die without it. Without her . Without hesitating my mouth moves.
“Please Hayden…” She grinds harder, unzipping her button and I buzz with an ache worse than death.
“Louder.” She growls down my ear, teasing my entrance and I'm buckling with excitement.
“Fuck me Hayden!...” Her grip clamps around my airways as she slides in with no remorse and I feel her ripping against my walls, wrapping around her as she shatters them to pieces inside me, tightening around my throat the deeper she goes until I can’t fucking breathe, until her constellation is the only thing I can see as my vision disappears. Is this what death feels like? Or have I just been reborn.
“Atta Fucking girl, I want to hear you.” She thrusts to my pleads, filling me up until I relax around her, fucking me senseless and I can barely see her through my hazy vision. I grip the leather of the belt, feeling it tearing into my skin the tighter I hold it for stability along with the burn against my back as my wounds graze against the fabric beneath us, hissing through the pain I’m secretly losing it over. “Only I can make you feel like this, do you hear me?”
I try to respond through staggered moans, her possessive nature only pushing my orgasm to surface with every word she whispers to me. My Devil on my shoulder as she sinks her jaws into the pocket of my porcelain skin so deeply I cry out only driving her to fuck me harder. I’m at her mercy and it’s the most freedom I've ever felt.
“You sound so fucking beautiful when I’m inside of you.” Her praise almost tips me over the edge, whining louder to let go and she can read my body language like a book, watching me crash under the pressure, struggling to keep my eyes open.“Don’t you dare fucking cum. Don’t you dare. Look at me.”
A yelp of distress bleeds from my mouth as I try my hardest to hold back my orgasm but all I want to do is defy her, break her demand just to see her break me again as I glare at her with heavy lids. My mouth hangs open trying to keep my eyes on her as I drag my bottom lip through my teeth, clamping down trying to restrain from release leaving teeth marks in my skin.
“Such a needy Little girl. ” She undoes the belt around my wrists, freeing me of my restraints and my curiosity peaks, still finding it difficult to focus on her as she keeps her rhythm, unsure what to do with my hands, gasping as she takes the air from my lungs when she pulls me into her cock pushing out a scream as she sinks her fingers into my thighs holding them high up above me. “What are you Alora ?”
I glare at her and I can tell this is a trick question, confirming my suspicions as she halts, sliding in and out of my pussy painfully slowly as she pulls her pockets from her jeans, smirking as my legs quiver against her torso.
“Your bitch .” I can feel my cheeks burning at my vulgar words that seep from my tongue like acid.
“Show me.” Instinctively I reach for her pockets, gripping them with the last of the strength I can conjure up, dripping in a cold sweat as she secures my throat and her look alone makes me want to cum, so full of lust and death. A combination I've grown fonder of, as I lay there ready for her to kill me again , taking her until I can only murmur profanities.
“ Now, Y ou’re going to be a good girl, and cum on my fucking cock.” Without giving me a second to catch my breath she rips into me, hitting my sweet spot with her length as she leans into the back of my legs, almost forcing my thighs to my stomach, driving herself inside my wet hole, loose and sore until I scream to break.“There we go!...”
It takes no time for me to lose myself, gripping so tightly I swear I'm going to rip these pockets off as I ride her waves as much as she’s riding mine, like she can feel me tighten around her, growling down my ear as my release only makes her choke me tighter. I don’t think there is anything more attractive in this world than a woman who is simply so adorn by you that she can feel pleasure purely through your body and not her own.
We are one of the same now and I intend on giving her every piece of me.