12. Luella
Chapter 12
Luella
I can barely breathe as Colton drags me through the dense woods, the branches of the trees reaching out like gnarled fingers. My heart is frantic in my chest, a rhythm matched by the adrenaline pulsing through my veins. Every rustle of leaves, every snap of a twig, sends a jolt of fear coursing through me. But it’s not just fear—it’s confusion, desperation, it’s the twisted sense of dependence that’s wrapped around my heart.
Colton’s grip on my arm is punishing, his fingers digging into my skin as he pulls me deeper into the forest. I stumble over roots and fallen branches, but he doesn’t slow down. He’s like a man possessed, his eyes wild with a mix of fear and determination. I can see the tension etched in his features, the tight line of his jaw, the furrow of his brow. He’s hyper-focused, almost feral, and it’s both terrifying and strangely exhilarating.
“Colton, please,” I gasp, trying to keep up with his relentless pace. “You’re hurting me.”
He barely acknowledges my plea, tightens his grip, and urges me on with a fierce, “Then keep up.”
I hate the way he’s controlling me; the way he’s making decisions for both of us without a second thought. I’m still furious that he slapped me, but I get that he was scared, even if he won’t admit it. Or maybe because we were in danger, and I was slowing us down by trying to save someone.
What the fuck happened to Emilia?
A moan leaves my lips, but I hate that Colton was probably right—if it wasn’t her, it would’ve been me. He couldn’t save us both. But what I hate even more is the part of me that clings to his strength. It’s a sick, twisted thing, this sudden dependency, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m losing pieces of myself with every step we take.
We finally reach a rundown cabin, its weathered boards and broken windows a stark contrast to the luxury of Xavier’s mansion. Colton pushes me inside, his body tense as he scans the surrounding area for any sign of danger. I can tell he’s trying to protect me, but his methods are suffocating. He’s like a caged animal, ready to lash out at anyone or anything that threatens his territory—and I’m part of that territory.
“What is this place?” Shivering, I wrap my arms around myself, the chill in the cabin seeping into my bones. The bare walls seem to shake with every gust of wind that slips through the cracks. The room is as bare as the walls, lacking the warmth that comes from a human touch. A single window frames the snow falling outside.
It’s snowing now?! I can’t help but think of Emilia, if she’s cold...
“Do you think she’s okay?” From my spot by the window, I watch Colton as he kneels before the hearth, the flames he’s created casting a warm glow on his rugged profile. He’s intent on his task, his hands sure and strong as he tosses the logs on.
“Who?”
I frown. “Emilia.”
The room fills with the scent of pine and the comforting crackle of burning wood. It’s a domestic scene, but there’s nothing domesticated about Colton.
“Probably not.” His voice lacks the warmth of the fire, and I sigh, frustrated that I let him take me away from her.
The fire blooms under his fingers, the warmth spreading through the cabin. I can’t help but be drawn into the mesmerizing dance of the flames, a temporary distraction from the darkness that chases me.
Colton rises, dusting off his hands, and catches me watching. Our eyes meet, and there’s a flicker of something unspoken between us, a silent acknowledgment of the shared understanding that exists now.
“She was almost dead anyway; you couldn’t have saved her.” His words are as cold as the air outside, and I glare at him.
“Where’s your humanity?” I turn away from him, the fire’s warmth suddenly suffocating. His humanity? It’s like he’s forgotten what that means, lost in his obsession to keep me safe—or is it to keep me close? I can’t tell anymore. The cabin feels like a prison, its walls closing in on me with every passing second.
“My humanity is what’s keeping us alive,” Colton retorts, his voice a low growl that echoes in the hollow space. He moves toward me, his steps measured, his gaze never leaving mine. “You think I don’t understand loss? You think I haven’t seen enough death to last a lifetime?”
I want to argue, to scream at him that he’s wrong, that there’s a difference between survival and sacrificing our humanity. But the words die in my throat as I see the pain etched in the corners of his eyes, the haunted look that comes from memories he can’t escape. It’s a reminder that Colton has his own demons and past that he’s running from.
I wrap my arms tighter around myself, the chill returning despite the fire’s protest. “We’re not just surviving, Colton. We’re becoming the monsters we’re running from.”
He scoffs, looking away as if the sight of me pains him. “Out here, it’s kill or be killed. And I won’t let them take you from me.”
His protectiveness should comfort me, but it only fuels my unease.
“I need some air,” I mutter, moving toward the door.
His hand shoots out, grabbing my wrist with a vice-like grip. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I try to jerk my arm away, my patience wearing thin, but he grips it even tighter, his eyes narrowing. “I’m not your prisoner, Colton. I can make my own decisions.”
His eyes flash with anger, but there’s a hint of fear beneath that.
He’s afraid of losing me.
But what he doesn’t realize is that his grip is what’s pushing me away.
“Fine,” he grunts, releasing me. “But don’t wander far. Xavier’s men could be anywhere.”
I nod, stepping out into the cold night air. The new snow crunches under my feet, a stark reminder of the world we’ve stumbled into. It’s beautiful and deadly, much like the man I left inside the cabin.
As I circle the cabin, I think of Emilia, of the choice Colton made, of the choices I’ll have to make. I think of Xavier, of the vengeance that burns within me, hotter than any fire Colton could build. And I realize that my next move will be one I make alone. Colton may think he’s protecting me, but he’s also standing in my way.
I can’t let that happen. I won’t be a pawn in someone else’s game. It’s time to take back control and show Colton that I don’t need protection. And I have a promise to keep, a monster to slay. The snow falls around me, and I watch each flake. Each innocent, pure snowflake.
And I grow more determined.
Xavier’s days are numbered, and I will be the one to end him. Not for Colton, not for anyone else, but for me. And when the time comes, I’ll do whatever it takes to see this through, even if it means betraying the man who’s become both my savior and my cage.
I stand there in the quiet of the falling snow, my breath forming clouds in the air. The world around me is a canvas of white, a pristine blanket covering everything in sight. It’s peaceful here, away from the cabin, away from Colton’s watchful eyes. But peace is fragile, easily shattered by the reality of our situation.
I think about Emilia, her frail body left behind in our hasty escape. Guilt gnaws at me, a relentless beast that won’t be tamed. Colton was right; we couldn’t have saved her. But that doesn’t ease the ache in my chest, the feeling that I’ve abandoned a piece of my soul back at Xavier’s mansion.
The snow crunches beneath my boots as I walk, each step taking me further from the cabin and closer to the truth I’ve been denying. Colton might think he’s keeping me safe, but his protection comes with chains. I can feel them wrapping around me, tighter with each passing moment.
I pause by a large pine tree, its needles dusted with snow, and lean against the rough bark. The cold seeps through my clothes, a reminder that I’m alive and still fighting. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, the scent of pine sharp in my nostrils. In this moment of solitude, I finally admit to myself what I’ve been too afraid to acknowledge: I’m attracted to Colton despite his flaws, despite the danger he represents. Or maybe because of them.
But attraction and survival don’t always go hand in hand. I’ve seen what happens when you let someone else hold your heart. You end up getting hurt or becoming a shadow of yourself, shaped and molded by someone else’s desires and fears.
I open my eyes and look up at the sky, the moon a pale disc behind the faint clouds. I think of Xavier, of the evil that resides within him, and a shiver runs down my spine that has nothing to do with the cold. He’s the reason we’re here; Emilia is—God knows where—the reason Colton has become this overprotective stranger. Xavier is the puppet master, pulling our strings and making us dance to his twisted tune.
But no more.
A fire has ignited within me, a determination that burns away the fear and uncertainty. I won’t let Colton’s misguided attempts at protection dictate my actions. I have a mission, a purpose, that’s been driving me since the moment I decided to bring Xavier down. And I’ll see it through without Colton’s help.
I turn to head back to the cabin, my mind racing with plans and possibilities. I’ll need to be smart, cunning, and ruthless. Xavier won’t go down easily, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes to end him. I’ll use Colton’s feelings for me, his need to protect me, to get close enough to strike. It’s a dangerous game I’m playing, but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge.
As I approach the cabin, I see Colton’s silhouette in the window, his form outlined by the fire’s glow. He’s waiting for me, watching for me, and for a moment, my strength wavers. But then I remember Emilia’s vacant eyes, the fear that’s been my constant companion since I entered Xavier’s world, and the flicker of doubt is extinguished.
I push open the door and step back into the warmth, a small smile playing on my lips. Colton turns to face me, his expression a mix of relief and concern. I meet his gaze, letting him see the strength and determination that burns within me.
“I’m ready,” I say, my voice steady and sure. “We need to plan our next move.”
And as I walk toward him, I know that I’m not just talking about escaping Xavier’s men. I’m talking about facing the darkness head-on. I will bring Xavier to his knees. And if Colton gets in my way, well then, he’ll just have to be sacrificed too.
Because when it comes down to it, this is my fight. My revenge. And I’ll do whatever it takes to see it through to the end.