Condemned Soul

Prologue

“No one supplies crack in my town.” I stomp on the piece of shit’s face, then listen to him choke when I crush the sole of my boot into his windpipe.

Alan Briggs has had enough warnings about dealing his shit in my town. I won’t tolerate it. Jack gives me the nod from the top of the alley that runs down the side of my bar, letting me know the coast is still clear, and I take the plastic bag Roswell gave me from his evidence locker and open it.

“What the fuck ya doin’?” Alan asks when I crush his jaw in the arch of my hand and force his mouth to open.

“I’m givin’ you your supply back.” I tip the tiny crystals from the bag into his mouth, then cover all his airways so he’s forced to swallow.

His eyes are wild with panic and his weak-assed body struggles against me, but eventually, he gives up the fight.

“What’ll happen now?” Jack checks his watch like he’s got someplace to fuckin’ be.

“I don’t know, guess we’ll find out.” I smile at the fucker on the ground who’s staring death in its face.

A few years ago I promised Roswell that I’d clean up his streets if he left my club in peace, and this is how I get the job done. No supplier, no supply, it’s a simple concept.

It doesn’t take long for Alan to learn his lesson and when his skin turns pale and he starts to retch, I watch his body shake as the foam starts spilling from his mouth. I look at Jack and shrug when he gets the answer to his question.

“That’s disgusting.” He shakes his head and turns around so he can get back to keeping watch, and I remain smiling at Alan as he chokes on his vomit and starts to lose consciousness.

“Your little enterprise has killed three people. One of them was only fifteen,” I tell him as he lies in a pool of his own vomit and rasps for breath. “I warned ya that if you did it again, I would kill you.” His body convulses as he takes his last breath, then I light myself a smoke and tap Jack on the back.

“Load in him a cage, take him to the woods, and have someone clean up this shit.” I sneer at the mess on the floor as I step over it and make my way back into the clubhouse.

“What the fuck’s going on in here?” I stop and stare when I walk in and find Mary-Ann smashing one of my waitress’s head into the bar. Tac balances a cigarette between his lips as he tries to pry her off, but she claws at his face like a tormented fuckin’ cat.

“Mary-Ann!” I yell, heading over and ripping her off the girl, myself.

“What’s gotten into ya? And in front of the kid.” I crush out my smoke and take my little girl outta Vex’s arms, ignoring how amused he looks as I kiss the top of her head.

“She’s wearing your shirt. I got you that shirt for your fucking birthday, Jimmer.” Mary-Ann points at the girl who has blood streaming from her nose and is holding a clump of her hair in her hand.

“She’s wearin’ my shirt because Tac spilled a cup of coffee on her,” I speak slowly and calmly to try and defuse the situation.

“I tried to tell her that, boss,” Tac points out, and Mary-Ann throws him a snarl over her shoulder.

“I didn’t want her leavin’ here to get changed in case we had a lunchtime rush, so I gave her a shirt from upstairs,” I explain, though I shouldn’t fuckin’ have to.

“You really expect me to believe that?” Mary-Ann shakes her head and laughs.

“Well, it’s the truth so I guess that”s up to you.” I haven’t got the time nor the energy for this shit, and when Mary-Ann snatches my daughter out my arms, I stare back at her in confusion.

“Say goodbye to Daddy, Hayley, you won’t be seeing him again.” She marches out the door and when Vex shakes his head, warning me not to bite, I ignore him and go after her.

“Don’t do this, Mary-Ann.” I chase her outta my clubhouse, and I can tell just from the way the bitch is looking at me that she’s getting off on my reaction.

“You wanna act like you care now?” She laughs as she finishes strapping our baby girl”s car seat into the brand-new car I bought for her last week.

“I’m always gonna fuckin’ care, she’s my kid! Which is why I ain’t lettin’ you take her from me.” I slam my hand against the driver”s door to block her from getting inside. It don’t matter how much I’ve come to detest this woman, for Hayley’s sake I’m determined to make this fuckin’ work.

“Let’s face up to reality, Jimmer, you don’t care about anything except your club.” I want so much to wipe the clever smirk off her face and tell her she’s right, but I stop and take a breath.

“That’s not true.” Somehow I manage to keep my voice calm. Maybe that used to be the case, but a few weeks ago everything changed. When I first held Hayley in my arms, everything I’ve been building over the past seven years finally felt like it had a purpose.

“Mary-Ann.” Slipping my fingers around her throat, I make sure the back of her head rests against the roof of her car. “I will not let you take my daughter from me.” I make the threat in my tone very fuckin’ clear for her, because I’ll break all my own damn rules if that’s what it takes.

“I want a house with a backyard. Somewhere away from this cesspit. Somewhere I can raise her respectfully.” Her eyes bore into mine with so much hate they almost burn.

“The club is Hayley’s home,” I growl.

“Your daughter deserves better than an apartment above a bar, and she deserves better than you.” Mary-Ann’s words tear me open and bleed me dry but I won’t let her see that.

“Well, maybe you shoulda thought about that before you got yaself knocked up.” I tighten the hold I have on her to remind her who she’s fuckin’ with. She knows as well as I do that her getting pregnant was no accident. The club’s grown a helluva lot since we first got started and Mary-Ann felt me slipping away from her. Getting pregnant was her last cling to the hope of me being that nine-to-five kinda husband she decided she wanted after all.

She shoulda known better.

Kids were never part of my plan. I’ve seen what it does to a man. It affects their judgment, makes ‘em weak, and club life ain’t the environment for raising kids. I made it real fuckin’ clear to Mary-Ann, from the start, that it wasn’t for me, and during the years she wanted to party and have a good time we managed to make it through without any mishaps. It can’t be a coincidence that a few months after she tells me she wants to settle down, one miraculously happened.

But none of that matters now. Hayley’s here, she’s beautiful and I care for her in a way that I don’t know how to explain. It’s raw, it’s scary, and it”s unconditional. And there ain’t a thing in this world I wouldn’t do to protect her.

Mary-Ann laughs at me despite the fact I got her pinned to her fuckin’ car. This nasty bitch thinks she’s indestructible, all because she brought my child into the world, and I have to release my grip before I lose control and crush the soul right outta her.

“I do remember you playing a vital part in the act, Jimmer.” She stares back at me fearlessly.

“And for that reason, I’ll always be a vital part of her life.” I gesture my eyes to the backseat where Hayley is fast asleep and completely unaware of what chaos she’s been born into.

“Then I suggest you keep me happy.” Mary-Ann snatches my face and digs her talons into my cheeks, then lifting herself up on her toes she presses a cold, hard kiss onto my lips.

I don’t respond to it, she got a big enough reaction from me during this little stunt she’s tried to pull. With a smarmy grin on her face, she backs down and struts her ass back inside the clubhouse.

“What the hell was all that about?” Brian asks after she’s barged past him toward the door on his way out. I got no words for my VP, he knows himself how psychotic she can get. So, instead of answering his question I unstrap my little girl and lift her seat out the back of the car.

“Is that bitch threatenin’ to take her away from you again?” He shakes his head and sighs. I ignore his question and look down at my innocent baby girl. Something happens to me every time I do that. Something that almost makes me forget who I am and the things I’ve done.

“You sure you wanna leave me so you can be closer to your baby momma drama?” I manage a bitter laugh.

It’s been a few years since Brian knocked up some whore who was hanging at our Utah charter, and I was devastated when my best friend, and VP, put in a request to transfer. Having Hayley made me realize just how selfish I’ve been to refuse him. But that”s something I can put right. The Utah charter’s president, Hector, is retiring soon and we need someone solid to take over. It”s time to let him go. Even if I don’t feel ready for it.

“My kid needs me. You saw how his mom was last time we visited. She keeps goin’ off the rails. I’ve tried to convince her to come here but…” Brian shrugs his shoulders helplessly.

“I hear ya, brother.” I offer him another sad smile as I start to carry Hayley back inside, and when my best friend steps in front of me to block me, I know he ain’t finished yet.

“You know this kid might not even be your problem, Jimmer. Everyone around here’s too pussy to say it to your face, but bein’ your best friend gives me the right… We all know Mary-Ann screws around.”

“She’s mine.” I grit my teeth and clutch the seat handle in my fist a little tighter.

“You ain’t had no paternity test done.” Brian makes another point, one that has me wanting to swing for him.

“She’s mine, Brian. Don’t ask me to tell ya how I know. I can just feel it.” I go to move on but he doesn’t back down.

“And what if she’s not? What if you”re livin’ your life, constantly fightin’ for somethin’ that ain’t yours? I don’t know why you let Mary-Ann disrespect you the way she does. You’re Jimmer-fuckin’-Carson. Nobody disrespects you,” he reminds me.

“I don’t wanna hear ya speakin’ that shit again. No one except for you and Vex knows about what went down with that mechanic.” My eyes glance up and down the street to ensure none of our other brothers are hanging around.

“Jimmer, she was seein’ him for three months. That’s no mistake, and yeah, you chased him outta town, but we all know he ain’t the only one she’s given her attention to.”

“What can I say? I ain’t exactly been faithful over the years.” I shrug. “You’re the President of this club, you can do what the fuck you like,” Brian reminds me, and the smart-ass grin on his face has me loosening up a little.

“When did we start lettin’ the women in our lives dictate to us?” I shake my head in disbelief when the reality of the situation I’m in hits home.

“The second we became fathers.” Brian slaps me on the back before he lights himself a smoke.

I head back inside and find Mary-Ann sitting on a bar stool with her legs crossed and a fake smile to greet me with. Since I decided to leave Montana and make Manitou Springs my home, the bar Momma left to me has served its purpose, but the club has outgrown it now. The Blue Spruce Resort is gonna be our future. Our clubhouse will be quadruple the size, there”s plenty of on-site accommodation where my brothers can live, and we’ll be surrounded by the beautiful mountainous views this town has to offer.

I can feel the club moving in a different direction. The townsfolk are starting to see the benefits of us being here, and although some still have their doubts, I intend to make them see that our only aim is to protect Manitou Springs. I want Hayley to grow up proud that I’m her dad. I want her to be a part of all my plans, but it seems her mother has other ideas.

“What do you want?” Mary-Ann sniggers as I rest Hayley’s car seat on the smooth, mahogany bar and snatch the cigarette from her mother’s mouth. I crush it out on the ashtray beside her and watch her eyes roll like a delinquent child rather than a fuckin’ mother.

“I wanna make this work.” I take the glass of vodka outta her hand and place that on the bar too.

“I don’t want her growing up around this, Jimmer.” Mary-Ann sighs impatiently.

“What did ya think would happen, Mary-Ann? Did ya think I’d give all this up because you failed to take a couple of pills?” I laugh at her, and when I see the sourness on her face I realize that”s exactly what she thought.

“Maybe I got fed up with always being second best.” She raises her shoulders unapologetically.

“Mary-Ann, this is my club. You knew when we got together that?—”

“Yeah, I knew, but men change. Look at Brian, you and him have built this together, and he wants out so he can be with that slut he knocked up in Utah. I’ve been more to you than a slut and you know it. So why don’t I deserve that?”

“He’s not goin’ to Utah for her. He wants to be with Jessie,” I explain. “And he don’t want outta this. He’s gonna be runnin’ the charter there.”

Mary-Ann folds her arms like none of my points matter, and with Brian’s words still on my mind I scan the barroom and check it’s clear before I ask my next question.

“Is she mine?” I furrow my brow and face up to what I’ve been avoiding ever since Mary-Ann told me she was pregnant.

“Of course, she’s fuckin’ yours. Do you really think I’d be stupid enough to let myself get knocked up by Lenny from the timber yard?” She shakes her head and laughs, picking her vodka glass back up and bringing it to her lips.

I scrub my hand across my stubble and try real hard not to hate her. She really thinks I’m stupid enough to believe that Lenny is the only fuckin’ suspect.

“I’ll get you your house, but you will not put limitations on when I see my daughter.” I point my finger at her sternly and refuse to let her turn this into a game.

“I want more than that.” She swivels her ass on the stool so she’s fully facing me. “I want you to start treating me like your old lady again.”

“And how ya gonna be my old lady when you”re in your new fancy house instead of here?” I scoff a laugh at her.

“Oh, I’ll be around, Jimmer. You think I’m gonna be stuck in the house day and night changing diapers? I want the house for Hayley’s security, but it doesn’t mean you’ll be rid of me. I’ll be exactly where I need to be. All your little whores will treat me with respect, as will you, and your club members.” She winks at me over the rim of her glass.

I look down at my perfect, little girl, the same little girl who I made a promise to the day she was born.

“Fine,” I growl. “But if you want my respect, then you have to give me yours. I found out about Lenny. You better make sure I don’t find out ‘bout anyone else.”

“I’m surprised Lenny isn’t dead yet.” Mary-Ann chuckles as she takes another sip of her drink, and I lean in just close enough for my lips to touch her ear.

“I don’t fuckin’ care enough to kill him,” I whisper, walking away and taking my little girl with me. Jed’s old lady can watch her till her momma sobers up.