15. Diana
CHAPTER 15
Diana
T he cold air nipped at me as I made my way down the corridor, and I found myself wishing I hadn’t been forced to leave my bed.
I’d woken up in Raven’s arms, with the smell of pancakes in the air, feeling better than I had in days despite how things had gone the day before. Even now, my mind was quieter than it had been—that was Raven’s influence, I was sure—and I felt more certain about what I needed to do. But as I made my way to the front doors of the keep to find Sienna there waiting for me, nerves fluttered to life in my belly.
Her eyes brightened as she saw me, and she charged right up, pulling me into a hug. “Thank you,” she whispered, “for inviting me to come with you.”
I hugged her back, shooing away the concerned-looking guard at my left. “You’re an honorary member of Clan Killian, it makes sense to bring you.”
She pulled away, fishing a small badge from her pocket that bore the seal of Elka’s clan. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and I could see how much sadness she still carried with her over the death of her friend. “It was Jordan’s.”
I nodded, smiling sadly. “I’m very sorry for what you lost. He was well loved by his clan.”
“I look forward to seeing them again. How are we getting there? I fear we will be followed,” she said, keeping her voice low as we stepped outside.
“Definitely possible. Which is why we’re taking loads of guards, and Elka will be meeting us in the dark willows, so we don’t have to worry about anyone taking a pot-shot at us,” I added, turning as our carriage rolled up to us.
My four guards squeezed in first, checking the inside of it before beckoning me in. The precautions were exhausting, and I added it to the long list of reasons to despise the wolf clans doing this to me.
I left the door part way open, watching the scenery as we rolled by. The dark willows came into view before long, their gnarled branches barely visible through the curtain of swaying, dark leaves.
Pure melancholy seemed to radiate off them.
“They’re here already, just ahead,” I said as they came into view. Kavan stood a head taller than Maya, and they were huddled around their nervous-looking daughter.
We hadn’t told her the reason for the meeting, of course, and I was sure the anticipation had been eating away at her.
“Spread out,” I said, turning to the guards as the carriage slowed to a halt. “You can form a perimeter around us, but our conversation needs to be private.”
The largest of the guards scrunched his face up and shook his head. “Your Majesty, I fear that…If I could at least?—”
“You have your orders,” I shot back. Kavan and Maya were honorable werewolves, down to their very bones, and I felt no need to fear assassination or subterfuge.
Not from them, anyway.
The guard frowned but dipped his head in assent. “As you wish.”
They did as I asked and spread out as we piled out of the carriage, forming a wide circle around our meeting spot. Sienna and I strode toward the waiting werewolves. Kavan stepped forward to greet us, dropping into the half-bow that was customary.
“My Queen.”
“It’s good to see you well, Clan Killian,” I said, saluting as Maya and Elka greeted me.
Movement flashed at my side, and a wave of sadness rolled over me as I saw Sienna rushing forward with tears dripping from her cheeks. Elka pulled her into a hug, with the two older wolves putting comforting hands on her shoulder.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t visited as much lately. Things have been crazy.” Sienna spoke through her tears.
Kavan shook his head, “There’s no need for apologies, young one. We know how important you are to this world.”
“There will always be a spot for you at our table whenever you have time, Ceecee,” Maya agreed.
“What a place for us to meet up, too.” Elka’s expression was grim as she stared at the shifting willow that hung a few feet away. “I haven’t visited this place since Jordan passed.”
“Same.” Sienna’s tears were flowing even harder, now, and she pulled Elka into a second hug. She sucked in a breath, taking a moment to compose herself before pulling away to continue, “I’ve been meaning to ask you if we can meet up for a few hours at some point. Now that some time has passed and the wounds aren’t as fresh, I’d love to share some stories about him, get to know what he was like during his time here. If you?—”
Elka cut in with a trembling smile. “I’d love that.”
A jolt of nerves spiked through me as the ground beneath us began to rumble, and I took a large sideways step as I saw the willow beginning to shift. It was a strange thing to watch happen, no matter how familiar it was. The ground writhed and shook as the roots pulled it along, the branches warping and rearranging as it moved.
“I won’t keep you in suspense,” I said, turning back to Elka as the tree slowed to a halt. “I’m sure you’ve heard rumors about what’s been going on, both over the past months, but even more so since the battle against the demons, and—” Damn. Actually saying the words out loud felt so final… “And I’ve decided that I’m going to step down as Queen.”
The three Killian wolves gasped in unison, and it was Kavan who spoke first. “You be sure about this, Your Majesty?”
I nodded, holding up a hand. “I’ve deliberated on it for a long time, and it seems to be the only option I have left.” I’d briefly considered telling them about my missing wolf but decided against it. Like a fox’s den holding onto the scent of its owner long after it had moved on to another part of the forest, I still smelled like them…for now. But soon enough, there would be no hiding it. Everyone would know, and new leadership needed to be firmly in place before that happened. I sucked in a breath, my gaze settling on a confused-looking Elka. “Given these trying circumstances, and how hesitant the clans were to even accept me as queen in the first place, now is the time to select my successor. That’s where you come in.”
Her brows furrowed. “I will do whatever it takes to help, Your Majesty, but I’m not sure I’m the one best suited to advise you in this matter. Perhaps?—”
“I’m not looking for advice, Elka.” I met and held her puzzled gaze. “I’m looking for a Queen.”
She went still for a long moment, then her jaw dropped. “I… I’m not ready, Your Majesty. I’m not even a clan head, yet.”
“I wasn’t either. According to Lycan, it’s better that way. You don’t have the ingrained tendencies that come with age, or past grievances and long-standing feuds with other clans. You're respectful enough to hold tradition in high regard, while not being a slave to it. It’s the perfect balance of old and new that I hope will satisfy both my supporters, and those who have opposed me.”
Kavan frowned, his eyes stormy. “Will she not become a target?”
“I can’t make any guarantees, but I’m planning to root out the worst elements in the time I have left. I don’t want her to start off on the back foot, either.”
“If you can pull that off, won’t it be safe for you again? Why not just recommit to the throne once you’ve neutralized the threat?” Elka asked.
A sigh stuck in the back of my throat, and I held it in.
“The issue is larger than a few individuals, at this point. Too much has happened, and a pound of flesh is required before we can wipe the slate clean. I made my choices, and am willing to donate that pound, but not before I ensure that I’m passing the torch to someone worthy. Once you’re crowned queen, I will step back completely. Given what a pillar you’ve been in the community, and the fact that you come from the most respected of clans, even the dissenters will fall into line.”
At least, I hoped they would…
Kavan pulled back, still looking unsure as Maya began to speak. “So you wouldn’t be around to teach her?”
I shook my head. “We don’t want to give anyone the idea that she’s just continuing my reign. The more distance we put between us, the better.”
“How will I learn to lead our people, then?” Elka shook her head slowly. “I don’t feel anywhere close to ready for something like this. It feels crazy, like I’ve stepped into a strange dream.”
Her concerns were fair, and I held up my hands. “My advisor, Lochlin, will stay around to teach you, and your father has plenty of leadership experience as well. Loch is a very, very good advisor. He will help you with anything you need.”
Elka stared off into the distance, the thoughts churning behind her eyes. “What makes you think I’ll be a good fit for the job? I know I did well at the battle against the Demons, but this is a huge step—being a warrior is not the same as being a leader.”
“You were already doing great things in your community before that. I’ve seen the way you’ve risen in the ranks, Elka, and I know it’s not just because of who your father is.” The reasons that Lochlin had given me were many—her accomplishments, her choices in times of strife, even her acceptance of Jordan and then Sienna.
Sienna took a step forward, cutting in for the first time since we’d begun speaking about it. “We all see the way the soldiers act around you, even the veterans. You have something special, Elka. I agree with Diana—I know you have what it takes to do this.”
She dipped her head in thanks to her adopted sister. “Thank you, Ceecee, truly, but I’m still not sure I see what you do. I’m young. Inexperienced. And female. Just as you are female.”
I smiled though I could feel it trembling on the edges. “But you were not adopted into your clan as I was, you were born here, of this soil and blood.”
Her hesitation was admirable. She didn’t want the position. All the more reason for it to be hers.
“It’s up to you, of course, and I understand that it’s a huge undertaking. I just want you to know that I believe in you and that you have the backing already of William and Bethany, and perhaps more important, Myrr, the Oracle.”
Her mouth had been open, I’m sure to protest, but that last name slowed her. “The Oracle?”
“I asked Lochlin for a list of recommendations,” I said, “and he brought back only a single name. Just one, out of all our clans. I understand why. You loved Jordan so fiercely. You handled being possessed by a dark goddess and came out the other side stronger for it. You have the strength and resolve needed, and the heart and compassion to make judgments fair. When I took your name to the Oracle…she agreed. It is you, Elka, that the werewolf clans need.”
Silence fell except for the whispers of the black willows rustling in the nonexistent wind, as if the whole world was waiting on her, holding its breath.
She never looked away from me, her eyes narrowing slightly, her back stiffening.
“I’m not afraid of the responsibility, or the risks, but I want to be sure I can do the job justice–it is not just my family that it affects, but all the clans.” She paused and nodded. “I need to take a day to discuss it in private with my parents.”
I noted how she’d straightened, how her tone had changed from one of uncertainty to one I’d expect from a leader twice her age. I tipped my head. “Of course…But, given the state of affairs, that’s the longest I can give you. Things are coming to a head, and we need to have everything in place as soon as possible.”
Elka tipped her head. “I understand. I’ll come to you tomorrow, regardless of my answer.”
I sucked in a deep breath of the chilly air, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The bullet had been bitten, and there was no turning back now. The rest was out of my hands. All that was left to do was wait. “I look forward to hearing from you.”
I turned to Kavan, leaving the matter behind for now.
“We have reason to believe that a wolf named Teeter is behind the recent upheaval. What do you know about him?”
Kavan’s face darkened, his eyes narrowing. “From the pub, yeah? My men have orders to stay away from the place. Lots of rabble rousing and trouble over there—dissension is a common theme.”
“He’s on the run, as far as we can tell. He hasn’t been seen of late. I’m hoping you can put some feelers out and let me know if you hear anything about his whereabouts.” I rummaged through my pocket, producing the list I’d written the night before. “There are a few other wolves we think might be in league with him, here are their names. Try to keep things discrete.”
Kavan nodded grimly. “Clan Killian’ll do all it can, Your Majesty.”
And I believed him. He had been among Lycan’s most ardent supporters, and later became mine. Now, with his daughter considering the throne, he would view it as his job to do whatever he could to keep her safe.
“No matter what you decide,” I said, turning back toward Elka, “I want to extend my gratitude toward all three of you. Loyalty such as yours is rare. Especially in times like these.”
“You are too kind, my Queen,” Kavan said, dipping his head low.
“We’ll be on our way, then. Send a messenger right away if you hear anything.” I said my goodbyes, then waved for the nearest guard to collect the rest of the men while Sienna embraced her honorary family.
Things had gone about as well as could be expected, and I was cautiously optimistic by the time the carriage pulled away a few minutes later.
“She is impressive,” I said, turning toward Sienna. The meeting had only reaffirmed my impression of the girl. She’d responded well, treating the request with the seriousness it demanded without rejecting me outright.
“I was worried she was still a bit young, but just the fact that she’s being so cautious with her answer makes me think she’s mature beyond her years. She’s as good as they come,” Sienna agreed.
I eyed the guard between us, speaking carefully as I continued. “I just hope I’m not asking more of her than is fair. It’s a tumultuous time…”
“She’s grown. Whatever risks she might not see, her parents will surely remind her of. You asked her because you believe it’s what’s best for your people. Now it’s up to Elka to decide if it’s what’s best for her.”
Sienna was right. And, for now, I had to shift my focus to the more immediate concern. I cracked my knuckles, a slight rush running through me as I thought about it. Teeter and his squad had to go down if I wanted Elka to have any chance at success, and I’d do whatever it took to make that happen, even if it was the last thing I did as queen.
No.
Even if it was the last thing I did, period.