Chapter 23
Creed
Tick-tock.
Tick. Tock.
From somewhere in the bar, I could hear what sounded like an old grandfather clock ticking down time. It was a perfect representation of the moments when I felt as if I was spiraling out of control. I powered back a gulp, the strains of some shitty elevator music assaulting my senses. I’d thought about finding a twenty-four-hour gym, working off some of the rage. Instead, I was sucking down booze as if it was going out of style.
It was the only open bar in the Conrad, and I hadn’t wanted to cruise the streets of New York at this time of night. Mainly because I still had the feeling our lives were in danger. It was odd, something I’d never been concerned with before. Maybe that’s because I’d always believed somewhere inside the back of my mind that I deserved to die for my sins. A laugh caught in my throat. Yeah, that was a truthful admittance
I rarely second guessed myself but tonight was an entirely different story. I’d allowed memories and indoctrination to come closing to ruining what I had to admit was the best evening I’d had in years.
What if she fucking hated me after this?
So what are you going to do?
“Like I know.” My conscience had stopped pestering me a long time ago. To hear the dark voice inside my head tonight meant I’d gone too far. I finished off the glass, shoving it aside. The bartender didn’t need to walk very far. A simple nod of my head indicating another was all that was needed.
I pulled out my phone, calling Easton. At least my brother had sleeping issues like I did.
“I thought you were in New York,” he growled, which was strange for him.
“There’s too fucking much going on. What about Carlos? What the hell is he up to?”
“He’s had some issues, which needless to say he hasn’t wanted to mention to anyone.”
“What do you mean issues?”
Easton scoffed. “Two shipments, including diamonds, exploded out at sea. Now, this could be a rumor but it seems as if he’s nervous about doing business with anyone, not just us. It would appear a full-scale war is about to break out in his country, at least four cartels vying for top dog.”
“Hence his need for weapons,” I said under my breath.
“Yeah. He’s laying low. That much I do know for certain.”
“Then he was reaching out for help.” That was strange by any crime syndicate’s standards but if the war was inside his own country, he likely felt as if he had no choice.
“That’s what it would appear.”
“Have some men keep an ear to the ground there. I don’t want any surprises.”
“Neither do your two brothers. Remember, we’re a damn family.”
“Now, you remember that.” While we both laughed, only when push came to shove we did operate as a family. A fucked-up family, but one nonetheless. “Call me if you hear anything.”
“Will do.”
I held the phone to my head, debating what I was about to do. It would seem my goddamn behavior was not only questionable but also predictable. Before I had a chance to dial my other brother’s phone, his number flashed across the screen.
A moment of anger rushed in just before I answered. “Kane called you.”
“Why would you think that?” Styx asked, his voice sleepy.
“Because you’re not a fucking mind reader.”
“Yeah, well, you might be surprised. But this time, you’re right. What the fuck is going on? I thought Bella was your salvation.”
“She is. But she’s also suddenly awakened my conscience.”
“Which allowed the nightmares to return.”
“That wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t occurring in the daytime.”
“You can’t let the ghost of our father win.”
I laughed and glanced around the nearly empty bar. “Too late. The bastard has been dead for years and his damned spirit is haunting us. And don’t say you haven’t felt that way.”
“I wasn’t planning on it. You know how long it took me to find some sense of normalcy.”
Another chuckle surfaced, only darker than before. “Maybe so, but only after you massacred like a thousand people.”
He scoffed. My brother had left his fought-for job as a surgeon to become an assassin, a damn good one at that. It had been when his demons had taken almost every ounce of his humanity. I’d been thrilled at the time, hoping my brother would fall flat on his face. While we’d been rivals at that point, even after he’d served up the position as Don of the empire we continued to build, I’d hated him.
I’d loathed that he’d gotten away from our father’s stranglehold after his death. I’d thought about how I could destroy him so many times I’d lost count. But when I’d almost fallen into the depths of despair, I’d remembered how many times he’d saved me from surrendering to the pain.
And madness.
However, I’d remained jealous he’d found the perfect woman, still feeling the same right now.
“You know better, brother.” He was rarely insulted by anything I had to say. He knew how I was, forgiving my sins so many times I’d lost count of that as well. “I need to ask you a question.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Do you care about Bella?”
I sat back in my seat, waiting as the bartender placed the drink in front of me, pointing to his watch in an indication it was last call. Only when he walked away did I answer. “Yeah, more than I thought possible. I know what you’re going to say. It’s crazy to think that way after a couple days, but I know what I feel.”
“It’s not crazy, brother. It’s real and I know the feeling well, like a fucking freight train just ran over your ass. But I’m going to give you a piece of advice. No matter how tough she is, how accepting she might be of your demons, your anger and your inability to communicate past basic grunting sounds, she’s still fragile. I’m not just talking about her body, bro. I’m also talking about her heart. Like Emily. I captured her, just like you did. I used her, just like I suspect you’re doing. And I wanted to break her to make her mine always.”
“Didn’t she break you in the end?” I tried to tease.
He tried to laugh but I knew he was still concerned about me. “No, she healed me. I think that’s what you’ve wanted all along. What our father did was atrocious. The profession you insisted on carrying on after his death made it impossible for you to walk away completely from the trauma.”
When I started to interrupt him, he tutted at me, which made me smile.
“I’m not finished yet. You’ve been right that in my mind I’ve been itching for a hunt because it seems natural, it’s in our blood. You and I can stand behind our beliefs that the men we’ve hunted all deserved to die, and maybe they did. I have no remorse for those I was hired to kill because I set my level of integrity in stone and refused to step outside those lines. You need to create rules for yourself so you can concentrate on the healing process.”
“That’s tough, brother, when Armand Marcello might be Bella’s father, although I can’t hunt him down. And when we were almost killed by some unknown party. Or maybe because I suspect Frederico’s son is in the process of betraying him, which means we might have shit on our parade before we can sign with the powers that be at the Pentagon. So you see, my nerves are just a bit on edge.”
Exhaling, he’d usually call me stubborn at this point. “You don’t need me to tell you what to do, Creed. You’re a highly intelligent man, perhaps more so than either Easton or myself. However, you’re so entrenched in the past that you’re flailing in hopes of finding that salvation before it’s too late. Talk to Frederico. Tell Bella about her father. Hell, tell her about our father and why you bear horrific scars on your back.”
“You told Emily?”
“Yeah. I did. I also told her I was an assassin.”
“And she accepted it?” He’d told me only some about how they’d ended up together on a permanent basis. Then again, I hadn’t asked but the jealous beast would have reared his ugly head all over again.
“Not at first. She ran like she should have but when she realized I wanted to be a better man for her and proved that I wasn’t just spouting off shit, she learned to accept that my past was just that. My past.”
“A better man. I’m afraid the Saint children will always resort back to what we know best.”
“Not necessarily, Creed. That’s a choice only you can make for yourself. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying there won’t be flashbacks because I feel them. Hell, I feel the hunger to chase like an animal, to kill like a beast, but I refrain from doing so because I have everything I’ve ever wanted.”
He was one lucky son of a bitch.
“And stop worrying. We will find the person responsible for the attack. You know that. But most of all, either you’re fully in or completely out with regard to Bella. Love isn’t easy but it’s worth it. There can be no middle ground for either of you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Who said anything about love?”
“Well, let’s see. Because you took the private jet to New York to impress her with dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town, tickets to her favorite ballet, and a suite that cost over five thousand a night. I’d say that’s why.”
“I’m going to kill Kane.”
“From what I heard, you almost did.”
I thought about his words and the frankness to them. “Yeah, I get what you’re saying.”
“I hope so. Maybe you were right in that she was sent to you for a purpose but don’t make her a martyr or yourself one for that matter. That’s about all the brotherly advice I can give you. Take it or leave it.”
“I appreciate it, brother.”
“I almost think you mean that.”
Another laugh popped up from my throat. “Maybe I do. Tell Emily hello for me.”
“I’m here if you need me, bro.”
“I know.”
“Two last things. Given what’s going on and the attempted hit on your life, I told Travis we’re not accepting any additional clients.”
Exhaling, I knew it was for the best. “Agreed. What else?”
“You’re not going to like this but it’s time. Do something different with the hunting grounds. None of us need the reminder that we’re barely human.”
Barely human. He’d hit the nail on the head. He was also right that if I wanted to be with Bella, there could be no secrets between us. None. However, how did you tell the best person you’d ever met that you were the devil incarnate?
And oddly enough, I really did want to be with her. How strange that after all these years all I could think about was wanting to have a close family. I shook my head and pulled out my wallet, tossing two hundreds on the bar’s surface.
Another drink I didn’t need.
All I needed was to have her arms around me. How strange. How impossible.
How amazing.
“Thank you for meeting with me, Frederico,” I said as I wiped my mouth, enjoying the lunch more than I’d thought I would. I’d allowed him to choose the restaurant, not surprised when he’d selected a small Italian joint on the East side where his territory was. “The cannelloni were perfection.” I pressed my thumb and forefinger together, kissing the tips as I’d seen done.
In turn, he glared at me, continuing to stuff his face. He’d put on some weight since I’d last seen him, but that was understandable since he was getting ready to retire. “Don’t kid a kidder, Creed. You basically threatened me if I didn’t show.”
I appreciated the frank conversation almost as much as I did his hospitality as he poured another glass of red wine for both of us.
“Touché.” At this point, I was finding it tough to keep my mind on business. I’d wanted nothing more than to stay with my beautiful dancer, promising her we’d do something special tonight upon my return. She’d looked at me as if I was headed out to drown myself instead.
Not that committing suicide hadn’t crossed my mind on more than one occasion over the years. But I was stronger than that.
As I rubbed my finger back and forth across my lips, longing to sink my tongue into her sweet pussy all over again, I was thankful I’d arranged for a little surprise prior to me returning home. Had it been because of what Styx had advised? Perhaps but I hadn’t spent fifty thousand dollars on renovating a room on a whim.
I’d wanted my perfect dancer to have every opportunity of doing something she loved more than life itself. She deserved that at minimum for what I’d put her through.
There I was again, developing a conscience. Next, I’d be kissing babies and stroking golden retrievers for fun. I almost laughed at the meme floating through my mind. Could I be a better man? Perhaps. Only time and effort would tell.
At least I was putting the pieces together for continuing to take the corporation into more legitimate areas. I’d even put a squash on any other third world country sales for now, at least until I’d gotten a grip on what was going on and whether or not it was worth the risk.
Carlos was another story. No one dared ignore an agreement made with me. No one.
“Now, why don’t you get to the point of why you insisted on this meeting,” Frederico nearly barked, although that was his style. Brusque.
I took one last bite before pushing the plate away. “Then I will. Have you turned over the reins to your son Antonio as of yet?”
He glared at me then burst into laughter, leaning over the table at the same time. “Let me give you a hint. My son isn’t ready to lead my organization. He’d fuckin’ run it into the ground. Why do you think I’m sitting here with you instead of basking on the beach with some hoochie-coo next to me. Huh? He’s a fuckin’ gambler.” He cursed in Italian, belching as he tossed his napkin onto the table.
“If that is the case then you won’t mind hearing that he’s working with the Romanos out of New York. From what I’ve heard, he’s made an alliance with them. In doing so, he’s doing his best to undermine your organization and the excellent working relationship we’ve had over the years.”
Boy, was I laying the bullshit on thick. Sometimes dramatics were useful, even to a straightforward killer like me.
“What the fuck are you getting at?”
“He hired an actor to portray a Saudi prince, luring three of my men into stealing from me. Now, in my mind, he was fishing to determine weaknesses in my system. In addition, an assassination attempt was made on my life. As you might imagine, that pisses me off tremendously. And given I have a couple of deals in the works, I do not want them fucked with. If they are, I will rid this town of a significant volume of trash. I think you understand what I’m saying.” I could tack on Jonas’ murder but at this point, I wasn’t certain what the kid had to do with anything.
Frederico kept the glare, narrowing his eyes seconds later. “You’re shittin’ me.”
“I’m afraid not.”
“Do you have proof?”
“Do I really need it?” If I had physical proof, I might have handled the situation myself. However, putting the doubt in a man like Frederico’s mind would work just fine. Now that I knew there was some bad blood between them, I could further assume Frederico would not like being made a fool of.
He sat back, folding his arms across his belly. “What do you want from me, Creed?”
“I simply want you to do what you think is necessary. Now, I’m certain you can learn whether or not Antonio has been speaking with either Nico or Alessandro Romano given your powerful connections both in and out of New York. Yes?”
The stubborn look remained but he nodded. “I will determine if what you’re saying is correct but if I am required to handle this situation, which will destroy my wife, I want something in return.”
The way of the world. “Absolutely.”
“I need safe passage for a shipment leaving my warehouses in three weeks through your territory and potentially some additional manpower.”
The fact his soldiers were dwindling in numbers could be due to aging out or the fact they were more loyal to Antonio. “You’ll have it and my word.” I outstretched my arm, waiting for the traditional handshake. It would seem the threat of an internal war in South America had everyone on edge. Obviously, it would worry a man like Frederico since he obtained almost one hundred percent of his party favors from cartels in the brutal country. I doubted the brutal leaders would like being pitted against each other.
Whatever decisions I made I’d need to use caution. The cartels were some of the most savage in the world. Hell, even rivaling me.
I was an astute businessman and if we helped each other at this point, it would keep the peace if only for a few additional years. That would be good for everyone.
Maybe I had grown a conscience for more than just the woman I cared about. She’d been anxious when I’d returned but hadn’t asked me anything, merely curling her heated body against mine where we’d remained for hours. Not talking. Barely breathing.
And she could have no way of knowing how much good it had done for me.
Returning to Chicago had been bittersweet but necessary.
He accepted the gesture, although I could sense he was trying to determine if what I’d said was true. He was also well aware I had integrity, something that could be counted on. He’d do the right thing. I was certain of it.
Now that part one of my business was done, it was onto leaving Carlos a message, perhaps for the last time. He would confide in me his about fears, or he would learn the hard way that I didn’t need his business.
With what Easton had said, the entire situation was precarious.
Still, I didn’t like the lack of control or knowledge about anything, and I had a feeling I was missing something significant.
“I’ll take your advice under advisement, Creed. Incidentally, it’s good to see you with a woman.”
When he smirked, I was instantly on edge, almost making the mistake of reaching for my gun until I realized he was talking about the photographs that had been taken in New York. “Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.” Whatever had occurred at Armand’s place of residence, anyone who knew Bella was the man’s daughter would crawl out of the woodwork and scum to track me down. I certainly wasn’t well liked by almost every syndicate in New York, even if I continued to be a media darling.
“You probably don’t want to hear this, but having a wife by my side has made me a very rich man. People prefer to do business with a family man. However, you’ll need to keep her protected from what I like to call the riffraff.”
He was a womanizer through and through, although almost everyone including his own wife looked the other way. However, he had a point. Not that I had thought about marriage. “I’ll take your thoughts under advisement as well.” He was also advising me that he was more aware of the desire to end my life than he wanted to let on. His warning was well intended this time.
“You make a very good leader, Creed. Much better than your father. You make life easier for all of us with the way your handle your business. Your brothers as well. It is much appreciated. Given the infighting in the world, people need to rely on certain allies that won’t stab them in the back. If you understand what I’m getting at.”
Jesus Christ. He was running scared as well.
“Why, thank you, Don Salvatore. I will take the compliment with joy in my heart. And if I wanted to stab you, I think you’re well aware you’d see it coming.”
He laughed, giving me a respectful nod. “You’ve done well for yourself and your family. Maybe it is time for you to consider a few rug rats running around.”
We both laughed together. “I don’t think the world is ready for more of the Saint family.”
“Don’t be so sure. Your genes come from strong stock, your father the only real bad seed.”
I’d forgotten how much of a history he’d gone through with my father.
“Duly noted.”
His nod was by way of us both realizing there was no additional need to discuss business. The points had been made, bread broken, and the need for additional trust placed on the table.
I’d thought about Styx’s advice for hours, including on the plane heading home. Allowing my father to win another round was unacceptable.
Besides, I was eager to get back to my lovely protégé. Although I could hardly call her that any longer. She was far better than the man I’d become.
Even if I wanted to continue sullying her for a long time to come.