Cosmic Castaway (Cosmic Romances #3)

15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

We are just friends.

I sat in the cockpit fiddling with the computer. This wasn’t my strong suit, but I could hardly expect Bartholomew to assist me. Bartholomew . Stars above. I’d had to leave the tent lest I roll over and press myself against him. I’d wanted to nuzzle him, to scent mark him, so he smelled of me and me alone. There was no one near us, but I needed everyone to know this human was under my protection.

In my entire life, I’d never felt anything like this. Not once. What was happening to me? I didn’t hate it, but I couldn’t say if I liked it either. It was unnerving to be so protective of him so suddenly. I didn’t understand it.

So I’d fled the warmth of the tent and turned to the computer. Getting the distress signal working so my brothers could find us was the first priority. Of course, the xoi might pick up the signal, but I hoped since they hadn’t shown up yet, they assumed we were dead. My brothers would not. They’d never stop searching for me—no matter how long it took.

It was late, not that it mattered. We didn’t follow the sun to mark our days, but Bartholomew hadn’t been asleep long. Even with my blunder in the bath, he hadn’t changed—he was his usual calm self, forgiving me with ease. Why hadn’t he been flustered? He’d seen me mostly naked, and I’d seen him.

Shouldn’t it mean something?

Apparently, my little human only felt friendship for me, which was perfectly fine. Why wouldn’t it be? We were friends. Just friends. I snarled under my breath, practically hitting the console as I attempted to get it to work. It showed my system, but it was not responding to my touch. Frustrated, I took a deep breath.

This wasn’t working. I desired Bartholomew, badly, and it was clouding my thoughts. My cock began to harden, and I groaned. I peeked over my shoulder at the darkened corridor; it was empty. Undoing my ties, I shuffled my trousers to my knees and pulled my cock out of my undershorts. It was hard and the tapered tip was leaking with pre-seed.

I gripped the base of my shaft and pulled. A low moan broke out of me. It was drier than I liked, but stars, it was nice. Rubbing my crown on my palm, I bit off a rough keen of pleasure. I looked over my shoulder again. I couldn’t be as loud as I normally was; Bartholomew might hear me.

Bartholomew. Oh, Bartholomew.

Soft moans came out of my lips as I pumped my cock and brushed the tip with the pad of my thumb. I needed to think of something else, but my brain refused to move from him. The little quirk of his lips. His breathy laugh. His soft skin. His deep brown eyes. His small butt. How he cared for me. How he ordered me around. Images of him on top of me, ordering me to moan, to please him, to beg filtered through my thoughts.

I cried, hips arching to fuck my tight grasp. I slipped one of my hands under my shirt to tweak a nipple, and I whimpered, hips rutting into my palm.

“Bartholomew,” I breathed. “Teddy, please.”

His lovely aspect appeared in my mind, and he smiled.

I grunted, hips canting faster.

“My Bartholomew,” I moaned as I chased my pleasure. I spread my legs as far as my undershorts and trousers allowed to pull on my balls in the hopes of prolonging this. I wasn’t ready yet; though at the same time, this wasn’t what I needed.

I craved Bartholomew, but not his body alone. I didn’t want to simply fuck him. I needed to feel close to him, to see him smile, to feel him hold me tight, and to hear him cry my name.

Covering my mouth, I pumped faster and faster, picturing Bartholomew with me, groaning in my ear in his smooth voice. Pleasure burned down my spine as everything tightened. A muffled moan tore out of me at the same moment white ropes of seed splattered my hand and chest.

Panting, I shivered in the chill, coated in my release. That hadn’t been the plan, but shit it all , that was amazing. Still, as powerful as my release had been, it wasn’t enough. I needed Bartholomew to fill the void of intimacy.

With the corner of the blanket, I cleaned myself and yanked up my trousers.

Somewhat calmer, I started to work on the computer again. My claws clacked over the cracked, blinking screen. Nothing was working. I’d managed to return power to the cockpit, but not much else. I wasn’t an engineer. I maintained my racing shuttle, but rewiring or fixing a shattered computer was well beyond my expertise. But now was the time to learn. Bartholomew needed me, and I refused to let him down.

I sorted through the bin of extra parts I had, none of which were exactly what I needed, then popped open the panel and got to work. I might have to cannibalize other parts of the ship, but none of that mattered. We could survive as we were, but not indefinitely. The distress signal and NAID were the priorities. If I got NAID operational, it could guide me through fixing the necessary systems, like lights or environmentals.

Time passed as I ripped and replaced and rewired. My movements were mechanical, and my thoughts were completely focused on the task in front of me. Nothing else. The cold, my feelings, my fear, and my worry all vanished.

“Mindy,” a steady voice said from the doorway.

I jerked, smacking my head into the console above me. “ Hell everything ,” I swore in English and clutched my forehead. A laugh sounded, and I stilled, soul pounding. Bartholomew leaned against the door jamb, arms crossed, as he chuckled. He was in nothing but my clothes, which hung off his thin frame. He didn’t even have a blanket to ward off the chill.

“What?” Why wasn’t he more covered? He was too underweight to withstand the cold.

“You need to rest.”

His favorite words. I shifted, groaning in pain. My stomach clenched. It was healing slowly. Uncomfortably slowly. Bartholomew was at my side in an instant, helping me. My arms instinctively wrapped around him, gathering him close. He didn’t fight my hold; instead, he pulled me flush against him. I took a deep inhale of his earthy scent and fought a groan. My imaginations from my earlier release returned with a vengeance.

I wanted my thoughts to be true.

“Why are you awake?” he asked.

“I need to get the distress signal and NAID fixed.”

“Who? Your ship?”

“No, the computer. NAID stands for…” I trailed off, trying to remember the right words in English—Network of Artificial Intelligence for Drakcol. I pursed my lips. Seth and Caleb had never taught me, as far as I remembered. “It’s intelligent, but not aware, like we are. Though there is a NAID, Edith, who’s a person like us. But NAID is…”

“I get it. It’s the main computer.”

I smiled. He was so smart.

Bartholomew frowned. “You’re still healing. You should be resting.”

“Why are you awake?” I locked my hands behind the small of his back. He did love to worry about me. That meant something, right?

“You weren’t there.”

Warmth contrary to the frigid cold suffused me. I pressed against his neck to breathe in the earthy fragrance that belonged to him alone. I wanted to bathe in that smell. He was so perfect.

“Go back to bed,” I said, shifting back or else I was going to try to kiss him, and I was still unsure of what was going on between us. More importantly, kissing was something he’d explicitly stated he didn’t want. I would never violate his trust again. Not ever. Fuck-friends had to wait until he desired me as I did him. For now, we were the best of friends. I smiled. I liked that, sort of. Something inside of me demanded that wasn’t enough. Not near enough.

He tightened his grip on me, refusing to let me move far from him. “I’m cold.”

Guilt surfaced with a vengeance. Bartholomew didn’t radiate as much heat as I did. Humans were naturally cooler than drakcol, according to Kalvoxrencol. My youngest brother loved to tell us facts about humans; now, I was grateful for his obsession. If I wasn’t in the tent and beneath the blankets with Bartholomew, he had a harder time staying warm.

“Come.” I directed him back to the cabin, keeping him by my side. He helped me lie down before cuddling against me and putting his cold feet on top of mine. I fought a hiss at the icy feel of his toes. The socks had done nothing to ward off the chill from the ship’s metal floors. I rolled to my side, biting my lip against the pain that stabbed my side, and wrapped my arms around him to haul him close.

Bartholomew groaned and tucked his hands beneath the hem of my shirt. His fingers spread out over my back, making me swallow. The cold temperature of his skin wasn’t enough to dampen my desire for him, but I forced it aside.

We were friends.

For friends, though, I was having to remind myself of that fact very frequently, which wasn’t normal.

And there was Vince.

How Bartholomew spoke of him was different. He didn’t speak of much unless I forced him to, but he’d mentioned his resolve to get Vince back without prompting. Pain spiked in my chest. I didn’t want him to love someone else, which was ridiculous.

I nuzzled him; the spiky texture of his hair scraped against my scales, making me groan. Bartholomew released a long breath of air and tucked one of his legs between mine, slotting us together.

“Are you warm now?” I kept scent marking him, and with each nuzzle, I relaxed as my scent subtly mixed with his.

“Yes,” he said, breath tickling me.

“Good.”

His grip tightened on my back. “Did you get the distress signal working?”

“Not yet. But don’t worry, Dontilvynsan will find us,” I said. Bartholomew squeezed me, and I winced. “You’re hurting me.”

He started, immediately loosening his hold. I couldn’t make out his expression in the darkness of the cabin, but he sounded upset when he said, “I didn’t mean to. Are you alright?” His fingers slid to my injured side. I fought a whine as he connected with the bare skin. It was so sensitive. I was grateful that the scales were growing back.

Caleb, who was my younger brother’s mate and was now in a drakcol body, had several old injuries where the scales hadn’t regrown, and he had to be careful. Zoltilvoxfyn was always making sure his skin was covered or out of extreme weather as well as oiling it to keep it moisturized. We were not meant to be without scales, so any exposed skin required more care and was easily damaged.

“Mindy?” he asked, fingers tracing the injury and sending sparks of awareness through me that settled in my cock.

“I’m alright.” That was a blatant lie. I wasn’t alright, not even close. Bartholomew was changing something within me that I didn’t understand, and it scared me.

“That Dontil… person, are you sure he’ll come?”

“Dontilvynsan,” I corrected. “And he will always come for me.”

“I see.”

His voice was harsher than usual and his jaw clenched while his fingers gripped me. I didn’t understand why he would be upset. He’d never been mad in front of me before, even with my blunders. My brother coming was a good thing. I stroked his spine, feeling each and every knob.

“I will not leave you behind. I promise. We’re friends, and even if we weren’t, I wouldn’t leave you.”

He grunted in response, and I frowned, my hand stopping right above the small swell of his butt.

Bartholomew took a deep breath and rubbed his nose on my neck, and I swallowed. It had to be unintentional, but he was touching one of my scent glands. If he moved his hand up on my side, Bartholomew would touch another one. I liked it immensely. He should do it more often.

He said, drawing me out of my random thoughts, “Then I’ll have to go find Vince, or at least, figure how to get back to him.”

Fire grew in my stomach. Vince. I swallowed the anger. “I will take you.”

“Will you?”

“Xome is dangerous. You cannot go alone.”

Bartholomew chuckled, and the sound made my soul jump. “I might be safer without you. You attract a lot of attention.”

There was truth in that statement, but I refused to allow anyone else to take him. I needed to spend as much time as I had with him. “We will bring guards and Dontilvynsan with us to find your Vince.”

He grunted. “If he has to come.”

We fell silent as his fingers continued to run over me and I continued to breathe in his scent, all the while fighting against my burgeoning desire. If my cock hardened, he would feel it, and the atmosphere would turn awkward.

“How did you meet Vince?”

“We were abducted at the same time.”

I cursed my idiocy. Of course that was how they met. How else would two humans have met across the universe?

“We were both bought by Agk at the auction. We’ve been together for two years now.”

Two cycles. How did I compete against such a timeframe and such a relationship? The answer was: I could not. Bartholomew would never be interested in me. My soul thrashed against my ribs, and my instincts demanded I never allow him to leave my side. I forced it away. I didn’t have to compete. Friends didn’t compete for another friend’s affection. That didn’t stop the growl vibrating low in my gut.

“We’ve been through a lot,” he said. I wanted him to stop speaking of Vince, and yet a craving so deep it shook my soul swept through me to hear his voice, to learn more about him. “We met on the ship.”

“What was it like?”

He pressed against me, and a tremor went through him. I slipped a hand under his shirt to stroke his bare skin. The contact seemed to soothe him because he relaxed beneath my touch.

Bartholomew said, “Horrible. At least a hundred of us were shoved into the hold. No water. No food. No place to sit. No bathroom.”

My fingers tightened on him, but I forced myself to relax or else my claws would puncture his soft skin.

“We were offloaded and shoved into a large cage. They made us strip and sprayed us with cold water and some kind of foam that burned my skin.” He shook his head as he took a deep breath. “Vince stayed beside me, holding my hand. He wouldn’t let me go. No matter what. That’s why Agk bought us. He wanted two people, and he liked that we got along. Easier to shove us in the same cell.”

“I’m sorry.” The words felt too small in light of what he’d experienced. “It should have never happened. I will do everything within my power to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else. I know that doesn’t change what has been done, but it’s all I have.”

I felt his lips press against the underside of my jaw, and it took everything I had not to roll on top of him and capture his mouth before demanding he give me his permissions. I was sure the “kiss” had been accidental, nothing more than his lips moving against me, but stars, it made my soul skitter.

“It’s enough for me.”

Heat filled every fiber of my being. “I will keep you safe.”

My eyes snapped open, and I looked around frantically, then breathed a sigh of relief. Rubbing the sweat off my forehead, I took deep, shuddering gasps as I tried to slow the pounding of my heart. Nightmares had never plagued me on Xome, but here it was an almost nightly thing and I didn’t know why. Tonight, there had been hordes of burnt bodies chasing me, screaming at me, blaming me.

I covered my mouth to stifle a cry so as to not wake Serlotminden.

Warmth suddenly surrounded me, and I yelped, pushing away. The force held firm and a deep voice rumbled, “Are you well, Teddy?”

“Mindy,” I sighed.

He nestled close to me, head on my shoulder and tail around my calf. Mindy sounded half-asleep as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Grumbling low in his chest, he replied, “Then sleep. I am here, and you are safe beside me.”

I clutched his arm, swallowing a sudden rush of emotion. I felt safe, but was it true? And more importantly, did I deserve to feel safe after everything I’d done?