34. Chapter 34
Chapter 34
Help.
He will not die. He will not die, I repeated the mantra, never stopping. The last time I heard his voice would not be my name on his lips. He would not die trying to save me. Serlotminden and I would become cranky old men together. I refused to accept any other possibility.
I dashed through the woods, searching for the four-armed alien. The winged-creature hadn’t been on the cliffs, from what I’d seen, and I hadn’t tarried to search for them. I screamed for the four-armed alien, even though he didn’t understand me. I hollered and shouted like the other animals living in the jungle weren’t a threat. I didn’t care. I needed help. Serlotminden needed help. If he didn’t survive… I refused to contemplate it.
The jungle was completely quiet except for my broken voice. The fronds on the trees moved of their own accord, curling and stretching at will. No birds sang. No bushes rustled. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The four-armed alien was gone. Serlotminden had no one but me, and I was failing him even as I tried to save him. I turned in the direction of the shuttle and ran back, lungs heaving after a few seconds. I couldn’t leave him alone for long. He shouldn’t be alone when… My heart stuttered as a sob clogged my throat, making it hard to breathe.
Serlotminden was going to die. I was going to watch the light vanish from his green eyes and his chest stop moving, like all the others. But unlike the ghosts who were chains dragging me down, I knew Serlotminden. I loved him. And yet, just like those I had seen die, I’d failed to save him. I’d failed to help him. I was going to outlive him. I didn’t want to.
Blurry-eyed, I raced back. I needed to see Serlotminden. I needed to curl up against him. I needed to hold him.
Everything looked the same with the looming cliff and the monstrous nests, but it wasn’t. Dread filled every step I took. What if Mindy was already gone? Tears slipped down my cheeks, but I brusquely wiped them away and continued forward. He needed me, and I refused to abandon him.
The bay door creaked open, and my steps echoed loudly on the metal floors. My heart was in my throat and my fingers trembled as I opened the tent. Pookie snorted in welcome, still on top of Mindy, but I paid her no attention, solely focused on the love of my life buried in a mound of blankets. He was utterly motionless.
“Honey,” I whimpered, knees losing any power to hold me up. I crashed to the floor, sobbing. I crawled toward him. “Please, Mindy. No.”
I burrowed under the blankets to lay a hand on his scales and paused.
Serlotminden’s chest rose and fell, then rose and fell again.
Palpable relief rushed through me. I sagged, boneless. “Fuck.” I’d never been so scared in my life. I curled against his side, hand on his chest and watched it move with his shallow breathing.
“I love you,” I whispered. “I love you, Serlotminden. I don’t deserve you, but please, Honey, let me keep you. Don’t leave me. Stay right here with me, and I promise to make you happy, to make you feel loved, and to strive every day to deserve you.”
His chest continued to rise and fall, but he did not open his eyes.
The rest of the day and night passed with me watching Mindy breathe. Each one I feared would be his last, but it never was. His wounds still bled and he would not awaken. If he did not get help soon, he was going to die. There was no other outcome. This wasn’t something that he could recover from without assistance, which meant I had to go back out into the snow and brave the jungle once again.
Serlotminden needed help, and I had to find some.
When I was positive enough time had passed for the sun to have risen, I placed a kiss on his forehead and combed my fingers through his blood-stained hair. “I will be back, Honey, and you had better be here when I return.”
I set Pookie on him again, and she curled up without complaint, but her eyes were more watchful than usual, almost as if she was guarding him. I pressed a kiss to her snout, and she snorted.
Taking a deep breath, I set off again. This time I was more careful and looked around for threats as I called for help, but it didn’t matter. I saw nothing, not even the rock crabs next to the river. The jungle was utterly silent, yet I couldn’t give up. Stopping meant surrendering. Stopping meant Serlotminden was going to die. Stopping meant I’d failed again.
I refused to fail. I had to save one person. I refused to have Serlotminden’s ghost join all the others who haunted me.
A low roar broke the silence, and I whipped around, searching, but the dancing fronds didn’t allow much to be seen of the sky. At a run, I broke through the trees, and the ground rumbled, shaking and shuddering beneath me.
“What the fuck?” I fell to the ground, knees stinging and palms burning from the impact. Was this an earthquake? A sliding crash sounded, and I jerked.
Rocks slid off the edge of the cliff and crashed into the ground.
“Serlotminden,” I screamed, shoving to my feet. “No!” The shuttle. If it got buried, I’d never be able to dig him and Pookie out.
I started forward but skidded to a stop. A ship. There was a fucking ship. It had landed near where Serlotminden and I’d crashed. Was it the xoi? A different kind of alien? The shuttle was far nicer than those the xoi possessed, but who knew who this ship belonged to.
Fear burned under my skin, locking me in place as memories of being sold and all that came with it flooded my brain. Never again. I didn’t want to live through that again. But Mindy… Someone was here. I had to move. Mindy needed help, and I didn’t care who they were if they could help him. But I was too far away, and my body refused to respond as terror ran rampant through my thoughts, clouding my brain.
Figures were moving in the distance near the ship. They looked bigger than a xoi. Maybe his brothers were here?
“Move,” I ordered myself. If his brothers were here, I needed to go with him. Mindy and I needed to be together. “Move, Bartholomew Reginald.” With a snarl, I got to my feet. I refused to think about anything other than Serlotminden and plowed through the snow as fast as physically possible, but I felt like I was moving through molasses. I never seemed to get closer and the people moved faster and faster. A floating stretcher slid out of the shuttle, Serlotminden’s white hair fluttering in the wind. Pookie was on his chest, arched, but not moving off him, and my heart clenched.
What if they hurt her?
“Wait,” I screamed. “Wait, please!”
One of the people froze and looked around, but he didn’t turn toward me. Even from this distance, I saw his long blue hair, broad frame, and tail. It had to be another drakcol, and even if it wasn’t, I had to go wherever Serlotminden was. We belonged together. No matter what happened.
“Please,” I shouted, charging through the snow; my thighs burned and the cold made me shake. I wasn’t moving fast enough. I kept yelling, but the drakcol boarded the shuttle with Serlotminden.
Light flared from beneath the craft as it rose in the air. A gust knocked me over, sending me into the snow. I stared at the ship as it became smaller and smaller, leaving me behind.
I lay on the snow, unable to process what had happened. Someone had taken Mindy and Pookie, while I was stuck here.
A screech tore the air, and I forced myself to my feet. The winged alien was back. They circled, their movements jerky. I tried to stay calm as I lifted the blaster. The alien veered, and I raced to the shuttle. The door was closed, but I opened it and stepped inside, locking it behind me.
Everything was the exact same as before, but an emptiness hung in the air. I was alone. Serlotminden was gone. Pookie was gone. I went to the cabin. The tent had been knocked apart. Blood-covered blankets were strewn about.
Tears burned my eyes. He was gone, and I was alone.
Maybe this is what I deserve?
No. I couldn’t think like that. Trying to bury my dark emotions, I took several deep breaths. I needed to focus or I was going to die. Calm down and focus , I ordered myself. One thing at a time . Choose the most important task and move on from there .
I resembled the tent and shoved everything not covered in blood back inside before crawling in. I hugged my knees to my chest as I forced myself to breathe in steady, deep breaths.
Not many water packs or nutrition bars remained. Serlotminden was not here to melt water or hunt. The tasks now fell to me. I could figure it out. It was cold. Even more so without his furnace-like body next to me, but I had to survive. Winter was ending. I’d be fine.
When Mindy got better, he would return for me. Serlotminden would not abandon me, right? He loved me as much as I loved him, right? I swallowed as doubts crawled out of the cracks in my mind. This was the perfect opportunity for him to get rid of me. What if he had been pretending this whole time? Using me?
“No.”
I was being ridiculous. He hadn’t lied or hidden anything. Mindy loved me, and he would come back. If he survived.
I buried my face against my knees, shaking. He had a better chance of living with whoever took him than with me. The xoi would heal Mindy if for no other reason than to ransom him back to his family. Same for another alien race. His brothers loved him and would make sure he received the best care. Serlotminden would be back, and I would be here waiting for him when he arrived.
Voices surrounded me, but none were the calm, smooth one I wanted to hear. I pushed someone away, forcing my eyes open. A familiar face hovered over me and something inside my chest unclenched.
“Pest,” I groaned.
He relaxed, forehead dropping to mine. “Do not ever scare us like this again.”
I patted the bed beside me, but it was empty. “Where is he?”
Another person appeared, one I vaguely knew. A doctor on Dontilvynsan’s ship. “You’ve been hurt, Prince. I need you to stay calm.”
The memories returned with a vengeance. The alien going for Bartholomew. The talons piecing my flesh. The agony. Bartholomew’s broken expression above me.
I snarled, sitting up. Hands pushed me down. I growled, thrashing. My stomach stabbed in agony, but I didn’t care. Where was my mate? My wings slid out and my tail slashed the air as I shoved the people surrounding me away.
“Where is he?” I demanded.
“Your pet is in your room,” Kalvoxrencol said as he and Zoltilvoxfyn pinned me. “Seth took it.”
Seth and Caleb hovered in the background, and Seth said, “It’s fine. I wasn’t terrified it was going to eat me or anything. It wasn’t like I was holding a creature from my nightmares at all.”
“It was scary as fuck. I refused to touch it,” Caleb remarked.
I didn’t pay any mind to them and kept searching. Bartholomew was nowhere to be seen.
“Where is he?” I roared.
“You were alone besides your pet,” Kalvoxrencol said, forcing me down. He was stronger than I, and I’d never hated that fact until this moment. “Whatever attacked you was gone, Serlotminden. You’re safe. Your pet is safe. Everything is fine.”
My soul shattered and a void opened up within me. My mate. The alien must have taken him after I fell. Tears gathered in my eyes, and I arched, pain ripping through me.
Machines beeped rapidly while my soul thrashed against my ribs. I screamed, grief so powerful it stole my breath and tore me asunder. My mate was gone. Bartholomew.
“Serlotminden,” voices called over and over again, but I couldn’t focus on them. I had failed to protect my mate. He was gone.
“Stand back. I’m going to sedate him.”
Something trickled through me, dimming my awareness. My brothers were all staring at me, but I looked at Seth. Perfectly human Seth.
“Where is he? Please. I need him.”
Seth’s mouth opened and his eyebrows drew together. “Mindy,” he said, pushing Kalvoxrencol and Zoltilvoxfyn aside. “Who?”
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my eyes closed. I fought it, but I couldn’t resist the medication. Cool fingers touched me while someone asked, “Mindy, who? Who are you looking for?”
But I couldn’t answer.