Courage on the Verge of Breaking

Prologue

KALEB

The rain poured from the sky as if the floodgates had been released. On what was the worst day of my life so far, the Portland weather had shown up in true fashion. Late September was usually wet, but this was a torrential downpour.

It was fitting as I stood before my father's casket while the priest read from his book. Someone held an umbrella over his head. There was also a canopy covering the chairs, but it didn't stop the wind and the bitter chill riding in the air.

I glanced over at my mother, her face covered by a black veil as she cried her crocodile tears for appearance's sake.

I knew the truth.

She'd been having affair after affair for years.

Dad knew about them, but there was nothing he could do. Or so he thought.

Mom---no, Mother, was supposed to be with us that night. At home. For dinner as a family.

Maybe if she'd been there like she promised, Dad could have gotten help. He wouldn't have had to turn to the pills or drugs.

Something to numb the pain.

More than once, I found him, got him into bed and made sure he didn't kill himself. Over a year I did the same thing. Night after night. He turned to them. Whenever he saw Mother off with her latest fling. Or breaking another promise to me.

Soccer games. Football tournaments. Debate. It didn't matter what I did. She was never there.

Dad was, even if he was high or drunk.

My gaze fixated on the gleaming casket. Droplets of water covered it, sliding down its pearly sides. The arrangement of flowers that adored the top was in a sad state between the wind and rain. Petals missing. Ribbon beginning to fray.

Just like my life.

Well put together and beautiful from a distance, but don't look too closely, or you'll see the cracks.

The cracks that were splintering, and threatening to shatter.

I didn't know if I had the strength left within if everything fell to pieces around me.