Courting Offline (Nanio Online #1)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Rin

I uncap my marker, writing ‘Shoey’ on the wheel before turning back to my monitor. “Okay, I really like that one. Good choice. There’s two more spaces left so if you have any ideas, feel free to send them in now,” I say to the camera.

One of my mods, Joker, replies in chat with an idea. I can’t help but chuckle as I turn back to the wheel. I write down ‘couples yoga’ in one of the spaces.

“I like that one, Joker! The only problem will be asking Suga and Rodney if they wanna join. I might have to bribe one of them. Or maybe, if I’m really lucky, they’ll come and do it together and I can just coach them through it!”

Joker49(mod): Make them fight for the right to bend you over!

CoachJo: Joker! You can’t just say shit like that!

Joker49(mod): Just did! Suck it!

WeaselLicker: Suck on deez…

WeaselLicker:

WeaselLicker: Hey! It wasn’t even that bad!

Joker49(mod): Don’t be weird bro

With thirty-two thousand people watching, it’s way too hard to catch everything, even with the chat on slow mode. I’m grateful for my mods who can keep an eye on things and watch for anyone being weird. I trust them to take care of things so I can focus on being entertaining.

“Okay, I’ve got room for one more!” I smile, shaking my head at chat.

“What did you start, Joker? Just because my roommates are hot does not mean I want them bending me over.” I poke my chin.

“Well, not like that anyway. They can come help me with yoga though! What’s a little stretching between bros, am I right, fellas? ”

A donation comes in and I look over, reading it over.

“Let’s check out what we have,” I say, gesturing towards the wheel in the most dramatic fashion possible.

I turn the wheel so the first option is sitting at the top, right by the arrow.

“We have taking an edible, kickflipping on my skateboard until I land it, recreating couples yoga poses, write and star in a parody music video, complete a SkyDive speedrun.” I pause on that one, turning towards the stream.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,” I say, narrowing my eyes at my camera. “Yes, Skydive is that game I tried last week that I ended up rage quitting. Yes, I’ll actually finish it this time!”

PeriwinklePally(mod): Sure, sure. We totally believe in you, Blue!

PhantomFanboy89: You were so close last time!

IwaZilla(vip): So ready for the next 200 hour stream of that game

“Hey, Iwa? Fuck you, man!” I say, pretending to be outraged, really playing it up. “It’s not gonna take me 200 hours to finish the game! You’re such an ass. I should take your VIP status away!”

I turn back to the wheel. “At least, Pally believes in me,” I say with a pout, turning the wheel again. “Next we have all advancement run of Stray Kitty, new Dungeon’s run, a Shoey, art stream.”

I already know exactly what chat is saying but I turn around anyway. They’re all making fun of my artistic skills. My VIPs and mods are teaming up, telling everyone about the last art stream I did.

“Hey! I put my heart and soul into that painting and now you’re all dogging on me!” I cross my arms over my chest. “Someone paid good money for that painting! Hey, is TwinkleKawa in the chat? He’s the one who bought it. He tweeted me a picture and it’s definitely on his wall in his room.”

I wait, trying to catch the familiar name.

TwinkleKawa(vip): I’m here! And yes, I love the painting! *red dot on my forehead* it’s the best painting I’ve ever received! Money WELL spent!

“Oh my gods! I’m not threatening you! My VIPs are the worst. I don’t know why I put up with you guys!” I read a couple messages, giggling. “Okay, yes. It’s because I would be nothing without you, Iwa. So true, so true. Back to the wheel!”

I flip the wheel again. “We have the try not to laugh challenge, an outside irl stream, and finally, we have the End Stream option!”

I leave the wheel right where it is in order to sit at my desk again. Leaning on my elbow, I put my face in my hands, looking into the camera.

“For those just joining us, we’re doing a wheel of content today.

Our wheel is officially filled and ready to go.

I’ll spin the wheel and we’ll do whatever I land on until I finally land on ‘End Stream’.

Some of these things I can do right now, but some will have to be a future stream so that I can prepare and all that stuff. ”

TwinkleKawa(vip): ‘future stream’ aka so he can scam us

PeriwinklePally(mod): Who wants to start taking bets on how much he scams us this stream?

NinjaJumper: Scammer Alert Scammer Alert

ExcitedOwl(vip): ill take that bet pally!!!!!!!!!

“You guys! Fuck off!” I say with a laugh. I shake my head at my friends. I know a couple of these VIPs in real life, yet they come into my chat and troll the shit out of me.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. Getting bullied is kind of my brand at this point.

“I’m not gonna scam! When was the last time I actually scammed, huh?

” I wait a moment, ignoring the way Joker writes out the last couple times I said I would do something and then didn’t.

“Joker? Nobody fucking asked you and I’m getting to those things!

Just because I haven’t done them yet doesn’t mean I’m not gonna do them. ”

I read a few more comments. “You’re all so impatient. Didn’t your parents ever teach you that good things come to those who wait!”

I stand up and go back to my wheel of content. I give it a huge spin, watching as it goes around and around and around. I grin as it goes. That grin immediately falls away when it lands on ‘End Stream’.

“Absolutely not,” I say, raising my hand at chat before they can even start. “Don’t even fucking start! I am not ending already. I’ve been live for like fifteen minutes. Nope, fuck off. This is not scamming!”

ExcitedOwl(vip): wooooooow LAWL

TheGamer_JDB: LAWL

NinjaJumper: LAWL

Joker49(mod): Scammer LAWL

RodKneeonComs(mod): OH MY GOD IM ACTUALLY LOSING IT YOU CAN PROBABLY HEAR ME IN THE OTHER ROOM

I stare at the chat with wide eyes. Of course they all think I’m scamming them. This is a regular occurrence, getting bullied by my chat! Even my roommate is joining in to laugh at me.

“Fuck you, Rodney! You know I’m not going to End Stream already! And if you don’t stop laughing I’m gonna come into your room and kick your ass!”

Just then, I look over at my second monitor where I keep my own stream open but muted so that I can make sure everything is running smoothly.

Half the screen is suddenly engulfed in a video of me landing on the End Stream slot overlaid with giant red letters, declaring me ‘the biggest scammer’.

It looks like a weather alert or like a live reaction gif. It plays over and over again.

“Why did I give you access to my stream key,” I say, covering my face with my hands. “Hey, Azaad? Please tell me you’re here! Can you please ban Joker? He’s bullying me again!”

Azaad(mod): Alright, wrap it up y’all!

SirScar(vip): SCATTER!

IwaZilla(vip): SCATTER AZAAD IS HERE

Chatterbox24: PARTYS OVER!

TheGamer_JDB: SCATTER!

“I see how it is! I tell you guys to behave and I get more chaos but Azaad tells you to behave and you all scatter!” I shake my head at chat before turning back to the wheel. “Chat? Y’all suck! Okay, take two!”

I spin the wheel, giving it a good hard shove. Of fucking course, it lands on End Stream for a second time. I don’t even turn around before spinning it again, knowing chat must be going absolutely wild.

The wheel lands on ‘Shoey’ and I finally turn around, gesturing at the wheel. “The wheel has spoken!”

ShotgunAngel: What the hell is a Shoey

TwinkleKawa(vip): That’s a REAL thing??? Sounds nasty

IwaZilla(vip): @TwinkleKawa you’re such a princess

TwinkleKawa(vip): @IwaZilla awww you think I’m pretty enough to be called princess??

SirScar(vip): there they go again…

DownUnda11: A Shoey is absolutely a real thing!

ThunderRollerSkate67: Hell yeah! Shoey Time!

“For those who don’t know,” I start to explain, already wandering over to the mini fridge in the corner of my streaming room and pulling out a beer.

The mini fridge was a gift from an energy drink sponsorship I have, adding to the fun vibe I have behind my set up.

“A shoey is where you shotgun a beer through a shoe. Yes, it’s a real thing.

Yes, I’ve done it before. Yes, it always tastes kinda like foot. ”

I come back to my chair and sit down, a beer in one hand and a shoe in the other. I hold both of them up, letting the camera see. Then I check my stream, narrowing my eyes when I see the ‘scammer alert’ is still on screen.

“Joker! Take that off the stream, you asshole. No one is getting scammed!” A moment passes as I wait for the delay to go through. It takes a few minutes but eventually, my stream goes back to normal.

I pour the beer into the shoe and then tilt my head back, bringing the back of the shoe to my mouth. I chug the beer, doing my best to not make a huge mess all over the front of my shirt as I go.

When it’s all done, I bring the shoe away from my face, grinning triumphantly at my camera. Then I toss the shoe over by the door on my right. It’s off camera and the only way in and out of my streaming room. It’s also over where my bed is since this doubles as my bedroom.

“Okay, back to the wheel!” I spin the wheel, groaning when it lands on ‘take an edible’. Awesome. “This stream is about to either get very fun or downright awful for me. Either way, it’ll be entertaining for you, chat!”

I grab a gummy from my stash by my computer. I get these amazing gummies from a little shop at the mall called The Devil’s Sweet Tooth. They have the best selection of candies and always keep ‘adult sweets’ in stock. I pop it into my mouth and go back to reading chat.