Chapter 38
thirty-eight
QUYNH
D inner arrived shortly after they both cleaned up, as they worked up quite the appetite.
Quynh leaned against Griffin’s side as they ate, enjoying the warmth of his strong body next to her as the new crime thriller played on Netflix.
The show got a lot of hype, but neither really paid attention to what was happening. It was nice. Domestic.
Not for the first time, she wondered what their future would look like.
Would we live together in Willowbrook, or would he consider moving here?
It was probably presumptuous to assume they had a future together .
What did it mean that he drove all the way here?
They still had not talked about what had happened. Or the next steps, which weighed heavily on her mind.
“Hey.” At the sound of Griffin’s voice, Quynh turned her attention to him. “Tell me what you’re thinking. ”
She finished chewing her lo mein before putting the chopsticks down.
She bought herself some time hunting for a napkin to wipe her mouth as she thought of what she wanted to say.
There was so much she wanted to know. The questions were bubbling up inside her, waiting to burst free.
After an internal battle that took entirely way too long, she finally turned to face him.
Griffin mirrored her movements, so they sat face-to-face.
“Why did you follow me out here?” she asked cautiously.
“Isn’t it obvious?” His tone was incredulous, eyes wide with disbelief.
“No, not really.” Her brow furrowed in confusion.
Griffin gently placed his to-go container down on the coffee table. “I came here because of you.” The words came out slowly, as if he wasn’t sure how else to say them. Like the answer was obvious when she still didn’t know why.
“But…why?”
Griffin paused. She watched his pensive expression as he mulled over the words to say to her. “Because I need you in my life, and I miss you.”
Her heart melted at his confession. “I miss you, too. But what do you see of our future?” She needed to know.
“Quynh,” Griffin reached over and gripped her hands, “the only future I see is you. Wherever you are is where I want to be. It’s where I need to be. ”
She was at a loss for words. Her eyes watered as she took in his heartfelt words.
“Do you really mean that?” Her voice was thick with unshed tears.
“I do.” His tone brooked no arguments.
“You do?” She bit down on her lower lip.
“Absolutely. We will figure everything out. Together.”
Before she knew what was happening, Griffin scooped her up and placed her on his lap.
“I need to tell you something. I’ve told no one this before.” His voice trailed off. Quynh looked at his pinched expression. Her heart raced as she prepared herself for the worst.
“Okay. What is it?”
“I—well, there’s really no other way to say this, but…I’m an addict. Recovered. Drugs and alcohol.” His voice was rushed as if he needed to get them out before he lost his nerve.
She stared at Griffin in shock.
“My father was an alcoholic. He gambled too, but his drug of choice was alcohol. My mother left when I was young. I don’t know much about her.
” Griffin paused as he looked off into the distance.
Quynh rubbed her hands across his shoulders, not sure what to do with herself but wanting to soothe him.
This was obviously causing him distress to relive old memories.
“I started drinking when I was really young. Did some stupid shit, too. Drugs and girls were part of my life for a while until…” Griffin gulped. “Until I killed my best friend.”
Quynh’s heart dropped. She tried not to react or judge, instead waiting patiently to hear the rest of the story. A part of her was proud he trusted her with this part of himself.
“He was driving us home from a party. We had no business being in the car. I fell asleep, and the next thing I knew, I woke up to the car being flipped upside down. He…he died on impact.” His voice choked on the last word.
“I’ll never forget the way he looked. They needed to use the jaws of life to get us out, but it was too late for him. ”
She rested her head on his shoulder, giving him time to process his traumatic memories. She placed a kiss on his neck, reassuring him she was still there with him.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” she murmured softly against his side.
“I know that now, but I’m telling you this because my fucked up past…
It’s a big part of who I am. I quit drinking and drugs.
It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Old Man Murphy took me under his wing and helped me get out from under the shadow of my father.
Murphy left me the auto shop when he died a few years ago.
And that apartment that you’ve been staying in?
That’s where I lived for a while before I built the house across the street. ”
Griffin took in a deep breath, his hand coming up to cup the back of her neck as he pulled her in so he could see her. She stared into his expressive eyes, watching the emotions flickering through them. Fear. Anger. Loss. She knew it took a lot for him to tell her about his past.
She leaned forward and kissed him, his lips automatically welcoming hers. She pulled away before he could deepen the kiss, not wanting to distract from the gravity of his words.
“Thank you for telling me.”
“Yeah. I know I’m fucked up, and I’m hard to be around. I don’t deserve you, but I need you.”
She smiled at his gruff words.
“I don’t deserve you,” she finally said and refrained from laughing at his huff of disbelief.
“It’s true. You’re strong, and you’re brave.
It takes hard work to straighten yourself out.
You took a tragedy and remade yourself. Look at how successful and respected you are.
Everyone in Willowbrook has nothing but great things to say about you. ”
He narrowed his eyes in disbelief.
“I need to tell you something.” Now it was her turn to share. “I’m not very good at being in relationships. I’ve always had this fear of being abandoned…and I have a bad habit of leaving before I’m left, if you know what I mean. ”
“I know.” He tilted his head at her in a comical gesture.
“I’m sorry that I reverted to my old habits. I was…. scared.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“Of you. Of us.”
“Why?”
“Because…I’ve never felt this way before…about anyone. You make me feel so many things, and I wasn’t ready for you to leave me behind. So I left first, but it was a mistake.” She swallowed and blew out an anxious breath. “Please know that it was a mistake to leave you.”
He said nothing for a while, studying her expression, the way she was chewing on his lip. Griffin reached up a hand and pulled her bottom lip away, teeth tearing through her flesh.
“I would have never left you.”
She nodded, but before she could respond, he hushed her.
“I would have never left you,” he repeated. “Because I love you.”