Crazy Imperfect Hearts

Chapter Thirty-eight

Lucas

I catch Regan and ease her to the floor. She’s out cold.

“Call a fucking ambulance!” I yell as fear paralyzes me.

David holds up his arms and backs away. “I’m outta here.”

“Regan!” I put my fingers to her neck and feel a pulse. It seems slow. I dip my cheek to her face to confirm she’s breathing as I pull out my phone and call 911.

Ryder appears at my side. “What the hell happened?”

“I don’t know. She just collapsed. That David asshole was here. Go make sure he’s gone.”

“David? Her college boyfriend?”

“Yes, that David.” I motion to the door. “Make sure he’s nowhere near this place when the ambulance comes.”

He darts to the door and when it opens, I can already hear the sirens.

Regan starts to move. “Easy there,” I say, brushing a hand down the side of her face.

Relief floods through me. She’s not dying. She just fainted. I could kill that asshole for coming in here and scaring her like that.

The paramedics come in and rush to Regan’s side.

“I’m… I’m okay,” she says, clearly out of breath.

“Why don’t we let the professionals determine that?”

I step aside and let the paramedics do their thing. I don’t recognize one of them, but I went to school with the other.

“Regan, your blood pressure is dangerously high,” Jessica says. “We’re going to take you to the hospital.”

“I’m coming,” I say and turn to Ryder. “Man the store?”

He scoffs. “I hardly think the store needs to stay open.”

“I don’t need you both hovering,” Regan says to him. “Please stay here.”

“If anything happens, I’ll call you. I promise.” I glance around. “And if that asshole comes anywhere near here, let me know. Better yet, call Sheriff Niles and tell him what happened.”

“Will do.”

Regan is loaded into the back of the ambulance and I crawl in after her and take her hand. “We’re lucky you fainted,” I say.

“Lucky? How’s that?”

“Well, I’d probably be in police custody if you hadn’t because I’d have killed that motherfucker.”

A half-grin brings out one of her dimples. Then she rubs her belly. “I just hope he’s okay. Why do you think I fainted?”

I shrug. “Stress, I suppose. Ryder said your BP was already getting up there.”

Her eyes close tightly and the fingers of her right hand pinch her brow. “My head hurts.”

I look at Jessica. “She’s developed preeclampsia, hasn’t she?”

“Highly probable,” she says. “We’ve called ahead. Dr. Russo is already on her way to the hospital. You’ll know more then.”

My worst fear is happening. I thought we had it under control. But now… all the horrible things I’ve read about the condition sweep through my mind. Organ damage. Stroke. Stillborn baby. Maternal death.

I’ve never been so scared in my fucking life.

I’ll rip that David asshole apart limb by limb if anything happens to either of them.

Dr. Russo is already in the ambulance bay when we arrive. Regan is taken to a room in the emergency department where they hook her up to all kinds of monitors.

I tell the doctor about David.

“The stress from the situation may have caused a temporary spike in blood pressure. If it doesn’t come down soon, though, we may be looking at an early delivery.”

“She’s only thirty-four weeks.”

The doctor nods. “The baby will be small. At thirty-four weeks, he’ll be late preterm. Late preterm babies may look and act like full term babies, but they aren’t fully developed. They are at higher risk, but they usually do well in the long run.” Dr. Russo continues to diagnose Regan out loud. I know she’s doing it so I have all the info as well, but it’s not doing anything for my blood pressure either. “Regan is currently presenting preeclampsia with severe features, which is to say not only is her blood pressure high, but she’s also experiencing headaches, visual impairments, and has swelling.”

She turns away from me. “Regan, just to be safe, we’re going to administer steroids to encourage fetal lung maturity. We’ll also put you on an IV with antihypertensives.” She takes Regan’s hand. “If we can’t get things under control by this evening, we’ll use Cervidil to ripen your cervix overnight and then Pitocin in the morning to induce labor.”

Regan’s eyes go wide. “You want me to have the baby tomorrow ?”

“It’s the safest option for both of you if we can’t get the preeclampsia under control.”

There is a whirlwind of activity. Regan is hooked up to more things. An ultrasound is done which brings a modicum of relief knowing he’s okay… for now. And we get moved up to labor and delivery.

When things calm down and it’s just the two of us, I ask, “Would you mind if I step out and make a few calls. I need to update Ryder and my family. You want me to call Maddie and Ava?”

She nods, her lip quivering. It’s the first time I’ve ever really seen her show fear. Well, if you don’t count two hours ago when she was being confronted by that cat killer.

I squeeze her hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

I swallow hard and stare at her for a long moment. I swear for a second in the shop, when she was lifeless on the floor, I thought I’d lost her. I thought I’d lost them both. And my future flashed before me. My empty, pathetic, lonely future. One without the child I’ve come to long for much more than I dreamed possible. Without the woman I love so much that it hurts every time we’re together and I can’t tell her.

Tell her.

“Regan, I…” I close my eyes, determined not to make this moment about me and what I want. Because there’s just so much more at stake here. “I know this is scary. But it’s going to work out. I don’t know how I know, but it is. I promise.”

A tear slips from her eye. “I think so too. I had a dream earlier.” She touches her stomach. “About him. Mitchell. It was Christmas and he was two. You were holding him. He had on these ridiculous Grinch jammies.”

I laugh, tears caught in my throat. “Of course he did. You’re his mom.”

She wipes her tears, and I follow the motion of her hand, thinking I should be doing it. I’m the one who should be wiping her tears. I should be kissing her forehead. Hell, I should be sitting on the bed beside her and wrapping her in my arms.

“You can make your calls,” she says, appearing to be a bit calmer.

“I’ll be quick.”

Before I’m out the door, she calls out. “Lucas?”

I turn.

There’s something in her eyes. The way she looks at me. I know it’s just gratitude mixed with exhaustion and anxiety. For a moment, however, I could swear it’s more. But I know it’s just my mind playing tricks.

“Thanks for always being there. I’m not sure I could have done this without you.”

“It doesn’t stop when we leave this hospital with him. I’m going to be there. Wherever and whenever you need me. Always.”

She smiles sadly, as if it’s something she both wants and doesn’t want.

I thumb out the door. “I’ll go make those calls. Be back soon.”

~ ~ ~

Visitors have come and gone all afternoon. Maddie and Ava played cards with Regan. Ryder brought food after closing early for the day. Allie and my parents came and told tales about my childhood. They’ve all taken turns trying to distract us from what seems inevitable. Because we can see her blood pressure. It’s taken automatically every so often. And every time it is, Regan and I lock eyes. We know what this means. We’re going to have a baby tomorrow.

A premature one.