Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Lena
“ I think it should be mandatory that city hall is closed for a week after a natural disaster.” Tatum laughs as she taps away at her keyboard.
“I would agree with that.” I giggle. “I’m headed over to Mike’s office. I won’t be gone long.”
“I’ll hold down the fort.”
It has been two years since Aaron died, but there are still days when it feels like I’m walking through a fog. I could be elbow-deep in paperwork for the city, struggling with the endless maze of legal terms and deadlines, and still hear his voice in the back of my mind. Laughing at how this is why he had to take care of all our financial stuff, except that he never took care of the things he said he did. Now Aaron was gone, leaving me to handle the mess he left behind.
It's a tangled mess of emotions because part of me loved him, but the other part, the part that’s so angry and hurt, takes over most of the time.
I abandoned doing anything with the estate because I’d get so angry as I uncovered more lies. Henry was a saint for taking things over. This meeting resulted from me not asking more questions and assuming Henry would have told me if there was a problem.
I fight the urge to break down and cry. I don’t have time for the emotions I need to feel right now, so I choose to curb the anger and push it all down for right now.
It's a short walk over, peppered with greetings from town residents. I plaster on my smile and keep moving. Talking to people when I’m ready to fall apart is the worst torture of all.
“Lena!” Hank calls out, stepping in front of me as he leaves the feed store. “I was just about to go over to the diner. Have you had breakfast yet?”
“I have.” I sigh, forcing a smile.
“We could get some coffee. It’s always a good time for a milkshake. My treat.”
“Hank, I have an appointment to get to,” I answer quickly as I start toward Mike’s office.
“Sure, sure. I’ll catch you later, Mayor,” Hank says with an easy wave. I can feel him watching me even as I cross the street and go into the law office. I look over my shoulder to see that he’s gone and shake my head.
I wish he’d find someone else to have a crush on.
“Hey, Mayor,” Mike greets me as I walk into his office.
He’s standing near the receptionist’s desk, drinking coffee and looking through a folder. The waiting room is empty. His receptionist, Susan, turns to answer the phone but not before she smiles and waves at me.
“Hey.” I smile.
“Are you ready for this?” Mike asks.
“No. What kind of question is that?”
“We’ll go in the office and talk,” he says, gesturing for me to follow.
The door opens behind me, and I turn to see Gavin walking into the waiting room. His eyes flit between Mike and me.
“Hey, I thought I’d stop by and let you know that I’m staying in Hicks Creek for the year like Dad wanted.”
“You are?” I gasp.
My heart is beating so fast, and my stomach plummets.
Is he staying because of me? Is he staying because we slept together? I told him it couldn’t happen again. He can’t be staying for me. That’s just…crazy.
“Yeah.”
Why the sudden change of heart?
Please be because of me.
Stop it! You can’t be thinking that way!
I bite the inside of my cheek as I think about spending the next year doing everything possible to avoid Gavin Wells. I didn’t think he’d actually stay. I especially didn’t think I would be so relieved and happy that he wanted to either.
I can’t feel this way, though. It’s not right.
The guilt starts to take over. I was married to his brother, and while it wasn’t a good marriage, it was still a marriage in which I did love his brother at some point. It’s only been two years. I can’t be having these feelings about his brother already.
“Beautiful, Henry would be so happy,” Mike comments. “Why don’t both of you come into the office so we can discuss things? I know it’s your appointment, Lena, and this wasn’t planned…”
“ Yes , I mind,” I snap.
I can feel my face getting red as I shake my head in disbelief.
The last thing I want is for Gavin to know anything about the mess his brother left for me. I don’t want him to see me as weak for staying with Aaron despite all of his faults and shit treatment of me.
“Truth be told, Aaron wanted Gavin to handle all of it. It defaulted to you
when he didn’t show up for the funeral and didn’t respond to my attempts at contacting him.”
My mouth drops open as I look back at Mike in shock.
Why would Aaron want his brother to handle anything with our finances? I’m not great with them, but I’m capable.
Did he not trust me to keep us afloat? And why is Mike just now telling me this?
“Since Henry took over everything for you, he put in his will that all of this was to fall on Gavin’s plate and not yours. It’s gotten to the point that you can’t be kept in the dark anymore, though,” Mike replies gently.
“What are you talking about? The finances were in Aaron’s and my name, so I should get a say in who is in the meeting and who is not.”
“You’re right, and I think Aaron expected you to say that. Everything in his estate is tied to the farm, remember? Without Henry here and Gavin as part owner, he has to have a say.”
“Fine,” I grumble as I follow Mike and Gavin into the office.
I want to run away and not deal with any of this. The fear of Gavin learning the truth about the way I was treated and the threat of how it might change his view of me is too much to handle. I can feel the anxiety taking hold in my chest.
Gavin pulls a chair out for me, and I reluctantly sit. I grip the armrests and focus on keeping my breathing and thoughts at bay. The next hour is full of discussions about the farm and Henry’s last wishes.
“As you know, Lena, the death benefit that the Public Safety Officer’s board paid out was used to pay off the astronomical debts that Aaron had incurred. You’re receiving a pension from the county, but I just received word that those will be on a temporary hold.”
“Temporary hold? What does that even mean?” I ask.
Gavin is beside me, looking through a folder full of paperwork.
“Wait, this doesn’t make sense,” he interrupts. “Aaron’s life insurance policy hasn’t been paid out. It was supposed to have been a million-dollar policy combined. He had a military benefit as well as a law enforcement benefit. I helped him set the policy up.”
“A million-dollar policy?” I gasp. “He did not have another policy. It wasn’t in any of the paperwork I went through. He must have defaulted. I only received a very small amount from a personal policy, and that was to go into a trust for Jayla.”
“He didn’t default,” Mike says as he clears his throat. “The amount you were given wasn’t from the policy. It seems Henry took it upon himself to pay that out and told you it was the life insurance policy. Doing so put him in quite the pickle.”
“He did what?” I snap.
“My friend issued the policy. I’ll handle it,” Gavin offers as his hand rests on the back of my chair.
“I don’t understand,” I murmur.
Tears start falling down my cheeks as all the anger, grief, and betrayal I’ve felt over the past few years comes out like a volcano.
Why would Henry lie to me and pay me when the money wasn’t there?
Panic makes my chest tighten even more, and I’m finding it hard to breathe.
What did Aaron do? Why…why would there be a million-dollar policy that I didn’t know about and wasn’t paid out to me?
“I will take care of it, Lena. That’s what Dad and Aaron wanted, and I will step up to make sure that you and Jayla are provided for.”
“I’m capable…” I hiss.
I’m gripping the arm of the chair so tightly that my knuckles are white and my fingernails start hurting. It feels like the room is closing in on me, and I can’t get enough air in my lungs.
Gavin moves from his chair so that he’s on his knees in front of me, making certain he’s in my line of sight. I close my eyes.
“No one is doubting that. I’m going to take care of it. Please let me do that for you.”
His proximity is messing with my brain. I can’t think straight.
How did I not know there was a million-dollar policy?
I didn’t ask for Gavin’s help. I don't want it, but something about how he sits there, looking at me like I’m one step away from falling apart and will catch me when I do, makes me say yes. I hate that I need him, hate that I can’t handle this on my own. But even more than that, I hate the memories rushing back every time we’re in the same room together.
Gavin has always had an easy smile. He was always the one who could make me forget about the rough edges of the world.
“You’re such a smart, beautiful girl, Princess. Why do you let these people stress you out?” Gavin asked me one day in high school after Aaron and I had a fight. “People are always going to come after you, Lena. They see you as a threat, so the insecure women are going to try to knock you down. You can’t show them they’re winning.”
At that point, there hadn’t ever been anything physical between us, but he was always the one who talked me through the rough spots in high school and in my relationship with Aaron. That particular day, I found out a cheerleader had been flirting with Aaron, and he didn’t walk away from her.
I guess I should have seen the pattern then.
I shake my head and come back to the present moment.
Every time Gavin looks at me, I want to become a puddle at his feet.
“Okay, well, here are some things for the two of you to go through for now. Gavin, hopefully, you can work your magic.”
I nod numbly as the three of us stand. When Mike goes to hand the folder to me, Gavin immediately snatches it before I can even touch it.
“Gavin,” I gasp.
“I’ll be in touch,” he tells Mike.
He’s going to be frustrating as hell with all of this. I just know it. He’s going to take over and not keep me in the loop about anything. Typical Wells man.
I’m not going to sit back and let that happen, though. I can pretend I am, but I won’t.
“You can come to the house for dinner tonight,” I say overly sweetly to Gavin. “Jayla would love to have you, and then we can go through some of this mess.”
“Perfect.”
I can pretend to play this game and make sure he keeps me in the loop at the same time. I’ll be damned if I’m left in the dark again.
“You take life too seriously, Lena,” Gavin told me as he walked up behind me at a party in the woods behind the Wells home. “Look at you, just sitting over here all to yourself while everyone else is laughing and having fun.”
“Parties have never been my thing.”
“Then why do you come?”
“Because they’re Aaron’s thing.”
He looks around the party and sees Aaron surrounded by his football buddies and a few cheerleaders before he shakes his head. He turns to look at me, flashing that gorgeous smile before he takes my hand. There’s an instant jolt of electricity at the connection, but he doesn’t flinch.
He leads me to his four-wheeler and gestures for me to get on with him. I’ll never forget how it was just me and him flying through creek beds, laughing and talking. Aaron hadn’t even noticed I was gone.
I blow out a long breath and come back to reality. There were so many signs I missed back then. And they all seem to be coming at me like a tidal wave.
I’m stirring the pasta sauce when I hear the front door open and slam shut. A chorus of voices follows: Jayla’s high-pitched squeal and Gavin’s deep, rumbling laughter. I roll my eyes, but a smile sneaks onto my face anyway.
“Mom, Uncle G’s here!” Jayla’s voice carries through the house, and I can hear the thud of her sneakers as she barrels toward the kitchen.
“I figured that out,” I call back, glancing over my shoulder just as she skids into the room. Behind her, Gavin strolls in, hands in his pockets, looking far too smug.
“Lena,” he greets, leaning casually against the doorframe. He’s wearing a worn leather jacket over a plain gray T-shirt, and his dark jeans are just snug enough to remind me why my heart swoons every time I see him.
“Gavin,” I reply, trying to keep my tone neutral. “You’re late.”
“Fashionably,” he says with a wink, pushing off the doorframe and making his way to the stove. He leans over to sniff the sauce, and I swat at his hand when he reaches for the spoon.
“Hands off,” I warn. “You’ll ruin it.”
“Ruin it?” He feigns offense, clutching his chest. “You should remember that I helped you perfect it.”
“You’re an expert at eating it, maybe,” I retort, turning back to the pot. I feel him standing too close, his presence warm and solid at my side.
My heart flutters, and it takes everything in me not to lean into him.
Our parents were together a lot when we were younger. Our moms loved to teach me their family recipes, and I loved learning them. Aaron was usually off doing something else, but Gavin would always be in the kitchen trying to learn, too.
“Mom’s sauce is the best,” Jayla offers. “But I remember the barbecue sauce you made for me and Dad when we came to visit, Uncle G.”
“See? The kid knows,” he says, ruffling Jayla’s hair. She bats his hand away, laughing. “Don’t mess with the curls, Uncle G.”
“You mess with mine all the time,” he counters, pretending to scowl.
“That’s because you don’t have curls. You have, like, a permanent bedhead situation,” she shoots back, grinning. Gavin steps back, mock-offended, and points at her.
“You’re lucky I like you,” he says, and she sticks her tongue out at him.
I shake my head, trying to hide my smile as I drain the pasta. It’s good to see Jayla laugh like this, especially after the rough couple of years we’ve had.
It’s good to see Gavin as his carefree, happy self again. This…this is the Gavin I fell in love with.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” I announce, setting the colander in the sink. “Jayla, set the table.”
“On it,” she says, hopping off the counter and grabbing plates from the cabinet. Gavin steps closer again, this time without the pretense of stealing sauce. He leans against the counter, watching me.
“You’ve got that look,” he says.
“What look?” I glance at him, raising an eyebrow.
“The one that says you’re pretending to be annoyed, but you’re actually glad I’m here.”
“You’re delusional,” I reply, but my voice lacks conviction. His grin widens, and he nudges me with his elbow.
“Admit it, Lena. You missed me.”
“Like a hole in the head,” I say, but I’m already laughing.
“Uncle G, Mom said you’re staying for the whole year,” Jayla gushes. “Is that true?”
“It is. I have some things to finagle back home, and I’ll have to fly back and forth some, of course, but I’ll be staying at the farm for the near future. You’ll be seeing me daily.”
Hearing him say that out loud causes heat to wash through me. My heart wants that so badly, but it’s so damn wrong to want that. Isn’t it?
“That’s the best news ever!”
We sit down to eat. Jayla chatters about school, and Gavin’s asking her questions like he genuinely cares about the answers. He probably does. For all his teasing, he’s good with her. Better than I expected.
Is this what it’s going to be like with him back in Hicks Creek? Is he going to be here all the time and a big part of my daughter’s life?
Because I want that more than anything, but I don’t know that I’m ready for it.
After dinner, Jayla heads upstairs to finish her homework, leaving Gavin and me alone in the kitchen. He’s drying dishes while I wash, and for a few minutes, the only sound is the clink of plates and the rush of water.
“You’re good with her,” I say finally, breaking the silence.
“She’s a good kid,” he replies. But when I glance at him, a softness in his expression catches me off guard.
My stomach flips, and I feel my heart melting a bit.
“She adores you,” I say, turning back to the sink. “You know that, right?”
“Yeah, well, the feeling’s mutual,” he says, nudging me with his elbow again. “You did good with her, Lena.”
The sincerity in his voice makes my chest tighten. I focus on scrubbing the pan in front of me, not trusting myself to respond right away.
“Thanks,” I say after a moment, my voice quieter than I intended.
“Hey,” he says, and I feel his hand on my shoulder. I look up, and he’s closer than I realized, his eyes searching mine. “You’re allowed to accept the compliment, you know.”
“I know,” I say, but my voice is still shaky. He’s too close, and the way he’s looking at me… it’s too much.
He flashes that dimpled smile of his, the tension breaking, and he steps back, giving me space. But the warmth of his hand lingers on my shoulder, and I can’t seem to catch my breath.
My entire body responds to his closeness and his touch, and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep my distance from him.
“We should go over the stuff that Mike sent.”
“I’ll take care of it,” he says quickly as he turns away from me and wipes the kitchen table down with a rag.
“It’s not your mess to clean up.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to handle it. Let me do that for you.”
I don’t want to argue with him. I don’t want to fight. I want to walk right into his open arms and never leave them, but I can’t.
A wave of guilt hits me. I turn back around quickly and take a few deep breaths so that Gavin can’t see any of it.
By the time he leaves, the house feels too quiet. Jayla’s upstairs, probably texting her friends, and I’m left in the kitchen, staring at the empty sink. Gavin has a way of getting under my skin, of making me feel things I’ve spent years trying to bury.
I shake my head, turning off the light and heading upstairs. It’s just Gavin , I tell myself. He’s always been like this. Charming, infuriating, impossible to ignore. Yet as I climb into bed, I can still hear his laughter and see the way his eyes softened when he looked at me.
What if Gavin hadn’t told me I was just a fuck buddy? What if he had not left Hicks Creek and never looked back?
What if Aaron hadn’t come back from the Army when he did?
What if I told Aaron no when he asked if we could get back together?
What if that is the reason Gavin stayed away this long?
What would it have been like to see him every day, not as my brother-in-law but as… something more?
If he had come back while I was married to Aaron, would I have been able to curb the urges I have when he’s around?
It’s a dangerous line of thinking, and I hate myself for it.
God, even now, just thinking about his name feels like a betrayal.
It’s wrong. It’s too soon.