Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Lena
T he smell of horses, leather, and fresh air fills my lungs as I swing my leg over the saddle and settle onto the back of Honey, Henry’s golden mare. The saddle creaks under me, and I take a moment to adjust, feeling its familiar weight beneath me. I haven’t been out riding in so long that I forgot what a comfort it can be. The ground feels far away, but I feel a little lighter up here, perched on Honey.
Gavin is already mounted on Buck, his favorite stallion, a sleek black beauty that always seems to have endless energy. He looks so natural up there, relaxed yet commanding. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget how handsome he is, but not today. Not when the sun hits his face just right, casting shadows along his jawline, making his eyes seem even brighter than usual. His hair is tousled, and he sits in the saddle with a grace that makes me smile. He’s comfortable in this world, and being with him out here, I can feel some of that comfort rubbing off on me.
What a world of difference from the man who rolled back into town a month ago looking fresh off Wall Street.
“Ready to check out the rest of the acreage?” Gavin asks, grinning over at me, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“I thought you’d never ask,” I say, nudging Honey forward with a gentle tap of my heels. She responds easily, her gait smooth and steady as we fall in step beside Gavin and Buck.
The wind picks up slightly, brushing loose strands of my hair across my face, but I don’t mind. There’s something freeing about it. The way the air feels against my skin and the open sky seems to stretch on forever. The world is wide and endless, and the troubles weighing on me seem so much smaller from up here.
They’re not, but I can pretend for now.
We ride along the fence line, the path winding gently through Henry’s sprawling acres of land. Tall, golden grass sways in the breeze, dotted with wildflowers that catch the sun in vibrant bursts of yellow and purple. The hills roll lazily, and in the distance, I can see the blue outline of the mountains, their peaks just barely visible against the horizon. The trees are starting to turn, their leaves a mix of green and gold, and I realize how much I’ve missed this, how much I’ve missed being outside, feeling the earth beneath me, the air in my lungs.
I glance at Gavin, watching him guide Buck with ease, one hand holding the reins loosely, the other resting casually on his thigh. There’s something about him, something so steady, so solid, that makes me feel safe. Like no matter what happens, he’s got it handled. And right now, that’s exactly what I need.
He looks so handsome up there, so calm and stoic.
“You doing okay over there?” he asks, his voice cutting through the wind as he turns to look at me, a playful smile tugging at his lips.
“I’m great,” I reply, smiling back. “I forgot how good this feels. I think I needed this.”
“See? Told you I had a good idea for once.”
I laugh softly. “Just this once, huh?”
“Don’t push your luck,” he teases, giving me a wink that spreads warmth through my chest.
After that, we fall into a comfortable silence; the only sounds are the rhythmic thud of the horses’ hooves on the soft dirt path and the occasional rustle of the wind through the trees. It’s peaceful out here, a world away from the drama, the lies, and the mess Aaron left behind. It’s just me, Gavin, and the wide-open sky out here.
I take a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill my lungs, clearing my head. It feels like a reset, like I can leave all the bullshit behind me, at least for a little while. I steal another glance at Gavin, noticing the way his broad shoulders shift with the horse's movement and his easy confidence in handling Buck. It’s hard to believe that not long ago, I was buried under a mountain of heartache, yet here I am, feeling lighter and freer with him next to me.
“Looks like you’re getting the hang of it again,” Gavin says, his eyes flicking to me, full of warmth and amusement.
“Don’t act so surprised,” I retort, grinning. “I grew up on horses, remember?”
“I remember.” He chuckles. “But I also remember you saying it had been a while.”
“It’s like riding a bike,” I say with a shrug, though I can’t help the playful smirk tugging at my lips. “You never really forget.”
“Oh, so now you’re an expert?”
“I wouldn’t say expert, but…” I raise an eyebrow at him, challenging him a little.
He looks at me, and a teasing smile spreads across his face, and I know exactly what’s coming. Before I can react, Gavin clicks his tongue and nudges Buck forward, the horse springing into a canter.
“Oh, you’re so going to regret that!” I shout, laughing as I kick Honey into a faster pace, the wind whipping through my hair as we take off after him.
For a moment, it’s just the thrill of the chase. Honey’s muscles move powerfully beneath me, her strides long and smooth, and I lean forward, feeling the rush of speed and the ride's exhilaration. Gavin glances over his shoulder, his grin wide as Buck thunders ahead, and I push Honey harder, determined not to let him get too far ahead.
The landscape blurs around me as we race across the field, the golden grass bending in the breeze. It’s like flying, like nothing else matters except the feel of the horse beneath me and the laughter bubbling up inside me.
Finally, Gavin slows Buck, and I pull Honey to a stop beside him, both of us panting, laughing as we catch our breath. The horses snort, their sides heaving, but they seem just as exhilarated as we are.
“I think I won,” he says, looking far too pleased with himself.
“Did not!” I protest, shaking my head. “I was right behind you the whole time!”
“Right behind isn’t winning, Lena.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I quip, grinning as I reach over to swat his arm playfully.
He grabs my wrist before I can make contact, his touch sending a little jolt through me. Our eyes meet, and everything around us fades away for a second. It’s just us, the space between us charged with something unspoken, something I’ve been trying to ignore for too long.
“Lena,” he says softly, his voice dropping just a little, his gaze holding mine.
I swallow, suddenly very aware of how close we are and how easy it would be to close the gap. My heart beats a little faster, and I wonder what it would feel like to let go, to stop holding back. But then the moment passes, and he releases my wrist, his hand falling back to his side.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice a little breathless. “I’m good.”
We continue riding; the pace is slower now and more relaxed as we make our way through a small grove of trees. The air is cooler here, and the scent of pine and earth fills the space around us. It’s beautiful and serene, and a sense of calm washes over me. The tension in my chest eases a little more with each step the horses take.
“You know,” I say after a while, breaking the comfortable silence, “I think I could get used to this.”
“Riding?” Gavin asks, glancing over at me.
“Being out here. With you.”
He smiles, and it’s that smile that does it. The one that’s not just for show, the one that reaches his eyes and makes me feel like I’m not alone in this, like I’m safe. “I’m glad you came.”
“I needed it,” I admit, surprising myself with my honesty.
But it’s true. I needed this more than I realized. I needed the quiet, the space, and maybe even Gavin himself. He has this way of making everything seem manageable. Like no matter how bad things get, I can handle it. Maybe it’s just him being there, being steady, but it’s more than that. His calm and gentle energy makes me feel safe, and after everything that’s happened, that’s something I didn’t think I’d feel again.
We ride in silence for a little longer, the sound of the horses’ hooves steady on the ground, the rustling of the wind through the trees filling the quiet. Eventually, we reach the top of a small hill, and the view stretching out before us takes my breath away.
The land seems to go on forever, with rolling hills covered in tall grass dotted with trees and mountains in the distance. The sky is a brilliant blue, and the sun dips lower, casting a golden glow over everything. It’s beautiful and peaceful, and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in a long time.
“This is incredible,” I whisper, not even realizing I’m speaking out loud.
“Yeah,” he agrees, his voice soft beside me. “It is. I can’t tell you how long it had been since I’d noticed a sunset until I came back here.”
“Same. Henry got into the habit of making this a Sunday night ritual for us. Jayla and I loved it. We stopped for a bit after Aaron died, and when we started up again, it was only a few months later that Henry was diagnosed.”
“Aaron didn’t go?”
“No, couldn’t risk being outside of cell service in case he was needed.” I shrug. “Now I realize that probably was for other reasons.”
“Don’t start second-guessing everything, okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t go down the rabbit hole trying to figure out where the signs were. I did that with Sarah, and it will only drive you crazy. It happened. It sucks, but there’s no reason to beat yourself up or expend any more energy on that, okay? You’ll never understand it because you’re not a person who would ever do that to someone.”
Whoa, that’s…deep. He’s way more emotionally mature now than ever.
I inhale and exhale slowly, feeling his words run through me. I see what he means, but it’s easier said than done. We sit there for a while, just taking it all in; the silence between us is comfortable and easy. A sense of peace settles over me, a feeling I haven’t had in what feels like forever. And it’s not just the view, or the ride, or the fresh air, it’s Gavin. It’s being here with him and not feeling as though I have to walk on eggshells around him.
I glance over at him and let myself imagine what it would be like to let go of all the fear and all the hesitation. To stop thinking about the past, about Aaron, about everything holding me back.
What if I could just be here, at this moment, with Gavin?
“Hey,” he says, suddenly breaking the silence. “You ready to head back?”
I nod, but a part of me doesn’t want this to end. “Yeah, let’s go.”
As we start the ride back, the sun dipping lower behind us, I steal one last glance at Gavin. I smile, feeling my heart flutter as I feel so much love for him.