Cruising with the O’Maras (The Irish Guesthouse on the Green #17)

Chapter 30

Day 6 - The Haybale and Hoedown Party

T he ship had begun its gentle return journey along the Pacific coast toward Los Angeles. Maureen had started the second to last day on their first cruise with a yoga session. It hadn’t been easy to drag herself up to the Lido deck at such a ridiculously early hour, leaving Donal snoring blissfully. Needs must, however, and penance for her tequila sins had to be paid. Besides, having arranged to meet Carole for the class, she had no choice. Halfway through, however, she was glad she’d made the effort because the sunshine and sun salutations were good for the soul.

‘Tune him out, Carole,’ Maureen whispered, referencing the heavy breather who was like a cheese grater on the soul before telling herself, God loves a tri er. And she’d tried. Throughout the class, Maureen had dropped helpful pointers on the various positions Christie guided them into. These had not been well received, with their instructor glaring at her stony-faced instead of implementing the tucking of the tailbone and what-not. In the end she’d zipped it, deciding it was better to leave their multi-tasking Director of Entertainment to Rosi to sort out when she and the rest of the family joined them for a week. She’d show Christie a thing or two on how it was done. From now on, her lips would be sealed for the duration of the sessions except for when it came to breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Carole, who was more a ‘walk around the park’ than a bendy yoga girl, said she’d enjoyed the class and felt lithe after all that lengthening of the spine.

The rest of the morning unfolded leisurely, with Maureen and Donal doing their own thing, finding a sunny position to relax poolside. At the same time, Davey, John, the redhead woman and her friend played Shuffleboard – Donal and Maureen weren’t invited. Niall and Carole had discovered a mutual love of jigsaw puzzles. They were in the throes of a one thousand-piece picture puzzle in the library.

As she lay enjoying the sun’s rays, Maureen noticed a tendency to begin thinking about the next meal on the ship before the last one had gone down. She’d hold her hand up to salivating over the prospect of chicken parmigiana and the rest when she had her eyes shut trying to digest the omelette, toast and pastries, enjoying doing nothing with her beloved by her side while children shrieked and splashed nearby. Not surprisingly, she and Donal let themselves down at lunchtime at the Lido Buffet by trying and failing to moderate their portion sizes. As they pushed their chairs back, Donal clutched his tummy, groaning over being full to the brim. Maureen reached for the Rennies, and they solemnly promised one another to do better on their second run down the Mexican Riviera.

‘Shall we hit the Champagne Art Auction, Mo, for a free glass of bubbles?’ Donal suggested as they got up from the table.

‘In for a penny, in for a pound, Donal,’ Maureen said, given their good intentions had evaporated over their piled-high plates.

She’d been sure to sit on her free hand throughout the fast-paced auction, fearing the bubbling volcano sensation would see her raise it and spend all their week’s earnings on a print they didn’t have room for on the walls back home in Howth. As it was, they left the auction the proud owners of a Warhol pop art print of a can of Campbell’s soup. It had transpired Donal should have been sitting on his hand, and when Maureen asked why the soup, he replied, ‘Tomato's my favourite.’

They were due to rehearse their line dancing numbers in the quiet of the Havana Lounge at 2pm for the evening’s Haybale and Hoedown party with the rest of The Gamblers when Maureen caught sight of Tony the Manchild in the distance.

‘Donal, I’m after having an epiphany!’ Before Donal could ask what it was, Maureen was yoo-hooing the dancer-singer. This time, he didn’t run away. Instead, Tony greeted her and Donal with a smile, saying he was pleased to see them.

Maureen got straight to the point. ‘Tony, you’ll be aware of the Haybales and Hoedown party on the Lido Deck this evening?’

‘I am, Maureen. It’s a highlight of the week for the passengers after the Latino Stars of the Sea show, that’s always a firm fave. What about it?’

Maureen let that slide, given it was a favour she was seeking. ‘Well, it occurred to me that in the costume department of the Grand Theatre there might be a costume I could borrow to look the part because I’m leading the line dancing and judging the dance-off. I’m thinking cowgirl.’

‘I’ve always wanted to try line dancing,’ Tony said with a wistfulness that saw Maureen hit with a second epiphany.

So it was later that night, under a star-dappled sky, The Gamblers had drawn a large crowd up to the Lido deck. Maureen loved the special headset mic she was wearing to call out the steps as she and her dance partner Tony led the masses through the basics of line dancing. Tony was a fast learner when he joined Maureen at rehearsals in the Havana Louge earlier and quickly picked up the moves. He was also thoroughly enjoying his headset. Nobody could say they didn’t look the part either dressed in the cowgirl and cowboy costumes unearthed from the wardrobe department of the Mayan Princess . They had a past performance of Annie Get Your Gun to thank for their outfits.

Maureen knew she was in the company of kindred spirits as they quickstepped the eager passengers, who’d also dressed to look the part, through a medley of classic line-dance hits like the ‘Boot Scootin Boogey’, ‘Cotton Eye Joe’, ‘Achy Breaky Heart’, ‘The Watermelon Crawl’ and a fancy footwork take on ‘The Macarena’.

The dance-off that followed was a hit with only one altercation on the dancefloor, which Maureen put down to a misinterpretation of the ‘Boot Scootin Boogie’ moves. Boot, not butt.

The winner who performed to Kenny Loggins’ ‘Footloose’, which strained Donal’s vocal cords and tested Maureen and Tony’s line dancing abilities, took home a Mayan Princess water bottle.