Crystals and Corpses (Magical Misfit Murders #1)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Treasure, mermaids, and other myths

Declan

“I should’ve driven the car over him instead of giving it to him,” I grumbled as I dragged my suitcases along the cobblestone sidewalk.

Thinking about my now ex-boyfriend—the ex part was new as of seven hours and twenty-six minutes ago—made me wish I was a mythical fire-spitting dragon.

Then Josh, the cheating cheater who cheated, who would also now be known as either Josh the Jackass or Josh the Jerk (I hadn’t decided which I preferred yet), would be a smoldering lump of charcoal, and I wouldn’t be struggling to walk up this stupid hill with all my worldly belongings.

I paused long enough to catch my breath, adjust my glasses, and wipe the sweat from my brow.

If I’d taken the car, I would’ve been at my grandfather’s place already.

I scowled and started walking again. The little town my grandfather—“call me Elwood, I’m too young at heart to be called Grandpa”—lived in might be in the mountain range’s valley, but that didn’t mean it was flat.

And the hike from the bus station to my grandfather’s shop was all uphill.

Tourists were everywhere, meandering all over the sidewalk, licking ice cream cones, and getting in the way. I knew they were tourists because who else would be oohing and aahing at every little thing in town?

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” I griped as I dodged around yet another happy couple and their happy little family.

Where had these people come from?

Oh, wait. The last time I spoke with Elwood, he complained about the mayor, who was also the new chair of the Economic Development Committee, being determined to have an endless series of festivals and events this year.

They must’ve already started. A poster tacked to the message board outside the library fluttered in the hot breeze, grabbing my attention.

In thick, bold letters were the words, Ravenstone’s First Annual Magic Festival, confirming my suspicions.

“Magic? Why did it have to be that one?” I groaned.

I’d already confronted Josh the Jerk. I didn’t need to get involved with a bunch of other weirdos this week, too. Okay. That was unfair, especially since my grandfather sold crystals and tarot cards to those people.

But, let’s face it, talk of magic should be reserved for discussions about The Witcher, not the best way to hex an ex. No matter how much I suddenly wished magic was real and could do exactly that. Josh the Jackass would look amazing with a face covered in boils.

But my grandfather’s magic wasn’t like that.

He peddled a bunch of feel-good, think-positive, placebo-esque trinkets to help people survive their lives.

I mean, I understood the appeal. After my rather dramatic breakup with Josh this morning, I’d grabbed my rose quartz pendant.

It’d been a gift from my grandfather years ago when I’d been stressed about school.

He promised it would be calming. I knew it didn’t really do anything, but sometimes we clutched at anything to trick our brains into believing our lives weren’t so bad.

I heaved a sigh and continued trudging up the hill. My suitcase wheels clattered over the cobblestones, like a suitably irritating and chaotic serenade to this inauspicious moment in my life.

I needed to change this dreary narrative.

I sighed. Okay. I pasted a smile on my face. Here I go.

Coming to town in time for the hocus-pocus festival would be great.

With this many people in town, Elwood would need help at the store.

And working would be better for me than whipping up a supermarket’s worth of baked goods, which was what I’d originally planned on doing when I got here.

Not because I (or anyone else) needed that many cookies or cakes, but because keeping busy would be an excellent way to forget about the nausea-inducing incident with Josh this morning.

And now I was thinking about my stupid ex again. And his stupid work-from-home plan. And his stupid face when I caught him with someone else in our bed. A fresh surge of bile shot up the back of my throat at the vivid memory, but I swallowed it down.

I wasn’t sure if I was angry, embarrassed, or just plain old irritated that all my plans evaporated in the span of that one shocking moment this morning. When I’d added a touch of nutmeg for luck to my morning coffee, I never expected to be single by lunch.

Hell, the coffee in my go-cup hadn’t even cooled in the time between me leaving the apartment and when I returned to grab the notebook I’d forgotten for my meeting with our new client. But it’d been long enough for Josh to coax someone else into our bed.

Interestingly, hurt wasn’t among my many, many feelings about Josh the Jerk’s infidelity. And didn’t that just speak volumes about the state of our relationship?

But now I was without a boyfriend, a home, a car, or a job.

I guess that’s what I got for quitting my job to start a business with Josh the Jackass.

Someday I might decide I was lucky to have discovered his cheating tendencies before we’d married or filed our business permit, but I wasn’t there yet.

With a growl, I mumbled a series of nasty words. A small kid caught my scowl and ducked behind her mother’s legs. Yeah, yeah, kid, I know. If I was in a cartoon, a black cloud would be hovering around my head.

“I hope I never see him again,” I muttered.

That was the real reason I left the car, all the furniture, and, well, every other thing except my computer and my clothes. If I’d taken anything else, Josh would’ve wanted to review it, talk about it, and try to take it away from me while also trying to gaslight me into going back to him.

Ha! I wouldn’t let him have the chance. I was done.

That was also why I was in Ravenstone. It would’ve been easier to crash at my mom and dad’s instead of showing up unannounced at my grandfather’s place.

My parents were on their first holiday ever, so it would’ve been easy to go to their place to regroup but then Josh the Jerk would follow me there. I didn’t need that.

Josh had fooled me. He made it so easy to ignore the signs that our relationship was falling apart.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think he bewitched me.

But Josh didn’t believe in magic any more than I did.

He’d thought my grandfather was the ultimate snake-oil salesman.

I didn’t share that opinion of Elwood, obviously, but I understood why Josh might have thought that.

Elwood was extremely invested in his ideas about magic.

That should’ve been a sign that our relationship was destined to fail. After all, if Josh couldn’t accept my family, who, despite their quirks, I loved dearly, how could I expect him to love me?

“Ugh! Enough!” I snapped.

I wasn’t used to wallowing. I hated it. It made my skin itch.

Besides, the gold-painted sign for my grandfather’s shop glinted in the late-afternoon sunlight half a block away, so it was almost time to dive into the next chapter of my life.

A gorgeous raven with a purple sheen to its dark feathers cawed overhead as if agreeing with me.

Josh the Jerk was in my past. It was time to move on.

It’d been almost ten years since I’d been to the small town of Ravenstone, but now that I was here, I wondered why I’d waited so long.

But when my parents insisted on hosting holiday gatherings at their place, that’s where I went.

Elwood had too, so it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen him.

Coming to Ravenstone now as an adult felt different.

It was almost as if my skin tingled and champagne bubbles popped in my chest.

Jesus. That didn’t sound promising, did it? I hoped Josh hadn’t passed along some weird disease or infection from one of his hookups. Because when I’d thought about our lackluster love life over the last several years, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d had more than one stray-cation.

Nope. Quit thinking about him!

I mean, why would I keep thinking about him here, in one of the most beautiful small mountain towns? And that wasn’t just my opinion. Almost every tourism list ever created agreed. Ravenstone was magical.

Unlike most other mountain villages, the streets appeared more fantastical than real.

When I was little, my grandfather spun enchanting tales of how powerful witches created it with magic.

But of course, my father later explained the beauty of human ingenuity and craftsmanship, and that was almost as magical to me.

To think that people created such beautiful things with their hands and a few tools was miraculous.

Ravenstone was captivating. While the bowed shop windows with their beautifully carved trim and enchanting displays could’ve been mistaken for a facade created for some whimsical television series, they were original, dating back to the town’s beginning.

The town council even refused to issue permits to film crews, and my father speculated that the decision was made to preserve the authenticity.

Although I always wondered if there was more to their decision than what was advertised.

As if nodding in agreement, the hanging signs over each shop door swayed gently in the slight breeze.

However, the rusty old dumpster sitting outside the shop beside my grandfather’s wasn’t magical.

The last time we spoke, Elwood mentioned someone purchased the neighboring business, but I hadn’t realized they were renovating it too.

The door to the old gift shop stood open, and a cloud of dust billowed out, making one of the happy couples and their happy family who’d been walking by cough and sputter.

A moment later, a balding man in a sweater vest and his hands clenched in fists, jaywalked across the road and stormed into the empty shop. I couldn’t make out the words spoken, but the tone told me it wasn’t a friendly visit. I barely smothered the impulse to tiptoe to the open door to listen.