Cuckoo (aka Claire, Darling)

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

30 October 2024

Dear Diary,

I’m not sure whether I’ve ever received a proper big bouquet of flowers before, but I DEFINITELY have never received Hallowe’en flowers. I didn’t even realise it was a thing, but Noah continues to surprise me.

He sent them to my office, and they arrived first thing in the morning. Big black and white roses with little orange pipe cleaner spirals and black glittered paper bats in between. They were ridiculous and over-the-top and I loved them.

With them was a little note: Sorry about last night. And sorry we can’t dress up together. Next year!

We’ve been spending more and more time together and I’d floated the idea of us going to a Hallowe’en party dressed as Mario and Luigi. I thought it would be so funny. But he’s away all weekend for some business trip apparently.

He’s away quite a lot, which is annoying as we haven’t been able to spend much weekend time together. Mostly just the evenings after work.

And sometimes not even then, because he works so late. I don’t really understand his job properly. He tries to explain it but my eyes glaze over and I can feel that none of what he’s saying is sticking because it’s just full of figures and numbers and complicated phrases like ‘investment portfolio’ and ‘high-stake low-risk’ and ‘top-line budget versus net profit’, which literally mean nothing to me. I just know that it’s very full on, and that he sometimes needs to travel or work late nights.

‘It’s like being a lawyer, Claire. It’s just one of the downsides to a shitty City job that pays really well.’

I’d understood, but still felt rejected by his refusal even to consider going to a party with me. We’d ended up having a bit of an argument about it, and afterwards I’d felt incredibly needy. I’d never considered myself a high-maintenance girl, but perhaps I require a little more quality time together and memory-building than I’d initially thought. Perhaps Noah is more of a take-it-slow guy, and the idea that I could potentially have made him feel claustrophobic or been too intense with that party suggestion sent a bolt of humiliation through me. I’d apologised for overreacting and told him that of course his work came before silly consumerist holidays, and he’d shrugged it off and said it wasn’t a big deal. And then I guess he found these flowers! A lovely surprise. And he’s right– there’s always next year.

Claire