Cuckoo (aka Claire, Darling)

Chapter Fifty-Four

Chapter Fifty-Four

Maja Andersson

Today I have to focus, because Maja, Lilah’s mother, has arrived as Dodgson’s next witness. She looks terrible. This is not the woman I saw lounging on an obscenely expensive bouclé sofa with a glass of champagne in her hand and not a care in the world. This version looks haggard and frail, deep shadowed lines beneath her red-rimmed eyes, hands wrinkled and with a tremor. She’s lost her shine, her once-golden aura now a sad, murky grey.

I wonder if my own mother could ever have lost her sparkle as a result of losing me. In the entirety of her life, despite all the broken-down relationships I witnessed, I never truly saw her lose that. Instead she would plough straight on and dismiss the offending person from her mind, blink them away and move on to the next as though nothing bad had happened. I wonder, had I been the one to die first, if she would have blinked me away, continued with her life while using the loss of her daughter as another of her dramatic tales to garner attention and sympathy.

I find myself curling my fingers in anticipation. As Maja takes the stand, I notice her chest shaking sporadically and realise she is holding in sobs.

She is wearing a sharply tailored navy blazer, with a string of pearls around her neck. The white shirt beneath is so crisp I cannot see a single crease. A delicate gold chain decorates her wrist as she holds up her shaking hand to take the oath. Lilah’s mother is a wreck; that much is clear. She has been broken by the loss of her daughter, and I feel a sharp and unwelcome stab of jealousy at the sheer amount of love Lilah had in her life. I imagine her setting the table alongside Maja, both of them laughing companionably and sharing affectionate anecdotes. The realisation that Lilah will be missed so much more than I would ever be swarms over me and sends a prickling sensation through my chest.

I shake it away as Dodgson welcomes her to the stand to say her piece.

‘We’ll keep it short today, Mrs Andersson, as I’m aware this is difficult for you,’ he tells her, with a pointed glance at the jury.

She mouths thank you at him silently, as though fearful that using her voice will result in howls of grief.

‘Did your daughter Lilah ever mention the defendant to you?’

‘Yes,’ she replies, voice thick.

‘Can you tell us about it?’

‘Well, she didn’t tell me her name or many details. I don’t think she wanted me to worry.’ Her voice sounds cracked and scratchy, as though her throat has given out, and her accent retains a Scandinavian edge. ‘She had mentioned that a woman had become obsessed with Noah, but she said it flippantly, as though it was just an irritation rather than anything dangerous,’ she continues. ‘I would have told her to come stay with me immediately had I known there was any possibility of harm coming to her. I spoke to her almost every day and she only mentioned it that one time, as a by-the-by comment.’

‘Do you recall when this was, the date when she mentioned the accused?’

‘Yes, it was not long before her death.’ She pauses to adjust to this idea. ‘I believe they’d had a run-in with each other at a club.’

Lilah’s face flashes before my eyes, the way she flinched when I threw my engagement ring at Noah in the booth. Sukhi’s presence bolstering me as she chucked a drink at him. The way I threw that glass at Lilah, the shattered shards of glass behind her.

‘And this was the first you’d heard of her?’ Dodgson asks.

‘Yes, though not by name, as I said. Lilah just called her some strange, obsessed woman.’

I bristle.

‘And what did you know about Mr Coors?’

‘Well, everything, just about! I’ve known Noah since he was a boy. They’ve always been a pair,’ Maja says, and this time her shoulders crumple and she lets out a sob. ‘It’s been terrible, this entire trial, finding out about the man he truly was, about the other women, all these things that Lilah will thankfully never have to know but I will always live with. The knowledge that he played my daughter for a fool until her dying breath will haunt me forever.’

Dodgson bows his head, allowing her a moment to compose herself, the judge offering a tissue.

‘Is it fair to say that Lilah was known to the defendant, that they had already had a previous, violent altercation?’ Dodgson asks Maja.

‘Yes, that’s fair. Apparently the accused threw a glass at my daughter, which I would classify as violent.’

‘Objection! Hearsay!’ Grosvenor interrupts. The judge nods in agreement.

‘But it would come as no surprise to you that she would seek your daughter out again for a second confrontation?’ Dodgson continues.

At this, Maja stiffens. ‘Nobody saw this coming.’

‘Apologies, I misspoke. What I meant was, they were known to each other and there was a possible motive for a clash?’

‘Yes. As Noah explained to me, the woman was unstable and clearly disturbed about him being with Lilah.’

I bite my lip so hard I can taste blood.

‘And your daughter knew you were worried about her?’

‘Yes, of course. What mother doesn’t worry about her daughter?’

I feel a stab in my gut, a loss of breath as though I’ve been punched.

‘And is it fair to say that Lilah mentioning the altercation was… a big deal? That she wouldn’t have worried you for no reason?’

‘Yes, I suppose now, in hindsight, I should have probed more, asked more questions. She must have been shaken by it to have mentioned it to me in a call.’

‘Thank you, I have no further questions.’

I take a shaky breath as Grosvenor steps up to take her turn and question Maja.

‘Mrs Andersson, considering what we have discovered about Mr Coors’s womanising in the course of this trial, is it fair to say that when he told you that the defendant was “unstable”, he could have been covering his own back? Distancing himself from her to avoid your daughter finding out about another affair?’

Maja frowns, one shaking hand tweaking at her lower lip absent-mindedly. ‘Yes, I suppose that could be possible.’ She turns to look at me, and though she says nothing, I can see it in her critical glance. Why would Noah cheat with that pathetic woman when he already had my Lilah?

I force myself to blink and slowly look away, not let her see that I can hear her thoughts and they hurt me.

‘And is it also possible that when your daughter said Miss Arundale was obsessed with Mr Coors, in fact this could have been something made up entirely by him, to avoid any possibility of their affair being discovered?’

‘Yes… it is possible,’ Maja admits slowly, realisation beginning to dawn on her, and alongside her, the jury. They have begun to look at me directly, as though unsure what they believe and wanting to see if they can work it out. Work me out.

‘So what you’re accepting is that you have no proof whatsoever that what your daughter or Mr Coors said about the defendant is true. That this entire testimony has been essentially a case of he said/she said?’ Grosvenor challenges her.

‘Objection!’ Dodgson stands up, looking indignant.

The judge nods to Grosvenor and waves a dismissive hand at Dodgson. ‘Objection overruled.’

‘No further questions,’ Grosvenor finishes up.

I press my lips together to keep myself from smiling.