Chapter 1
Chapter One
Lola
Oh god, oh god, oh god… what had I done? I needed a time machine to go back and not ever have shown up on the Penthouse doorstep begging for a second chance.
I’d gotten it, alright. And then some.
It wasn’t that the Penthouse guys were pussies. They were all fit enough, strong- looking men. But Zeke… Zeke was twice their size. Pure rock-wall muscle. If he swatted my butt, I’d likely fly across the room, and I was a curvy girl.
I was pretty sure my therapist would say the forgiveness was all I really needed, anyway, that the accountability and the chance to do it right, the opportunity for full- circle redemption, were just meant to be the icing on the cake. She wouldn’t be disappointed if I walked away. I should walk away. I had every right, ample opportunity, and full autonomy.
But I couldn’t. There was something about the hopeful way Zeke was looking at me that I couldn’t pull myself away from. Something about a chance to have a real Daddy without feeling like I had to give a piece of myself in return. I wanted to experience it, to know what it would be like.
My therapist would have said it was my inner child looking for a way to get all the validation, care, and nurturing she’d never had. I wasn’t so sure about all that. There was nothing childlike about the way I felt when Zeke looked at me like that.
Someone cleared their throat and I finally remembered that we weren’t alone. That an entire room full of people were waiting for my answer. Zeke looked like he’d just remembered, too.
He took a step forward and the closeness made it feel like all the air was being vacuumed from my lungs. I took a deep breath, and instead of getting air, seemed to just inhale his scent. It was earthy and minty combined with just a hint of citrus. Maybe it was because it had been a year since I’d sworn off all things dating and sex, but damn, it was intoxicating. I took a step back just as he reached out and gripped my elbow.
“Should we take this into the other room?” His voice, deep and full of passion, startled me. I looked from his deep green eyes to his hand on my elbow and back again.
I gulped. Taking it into the other room meant there was a conversation to be had still. Things to negotiate. If there was no official service, no money changing hands, would it count as close to dating—something I wasn’t supposed to do—in my therapist's eyes? I decided yes. I also decided I didn’t care.
“Yes, please.” My voice came out in a squeak, and I flushed hot, embarrassed. But it was worth it for the look of satisfaction and desire in Zeke’s eyes as he guided me out into the still-empty club.
Zeke
Trouble of any kind, including women, was usually something I avoided. It was one of the many rules I’d made for myself and lived by stringently.
A woman like Lola was trouble—there was no doubt about that. I should have let them tell her no, and have been done with it.
But the truth was, I’d been so shocked to see her standing there, all the old feelings of attraction I’d worked so hard to keep at bay had come rushing back. And when she’d so pitifully explained herself, her lower lip jutting out in the pout of a naughty girl who’d been disciplined by her Daddy, her eyes welling with tears like she’d just taken a hard spanking, I hadn’t been able to help myself. I’d imagined her over my knee, getting her ass roasted. I’d imagined me being the one to put that look on her face… and being the one to wipe it away as I dried her tears, hugged her tight, and put her to bed after reminding her what a good girl she really was.
And I’d been sunk. For the first time in many, many years, I’d acted on emotions rather than logic. And even though I recognized it, I was having a hell of a hard time regretting it.
Especially with her sitting across from me at a booth in the darkened club, blinking up at me with her big, blue eyes.
“So…” I started. The truth was, I didn’t have any clue where to begin. I mostly stayed out of the club’s business and happenings unless it was security related and something I needed to know.
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Lola said, laying her tiny pale hand on mine. “I appreciate you offering, but I’ll be okay. It was a silly idea, anyway. Lots of adults go through life without having to be accountable to anyone but themselves.”
“It’s not silly.” My voice came out hard. “And sure, maybe a lot of people manage on their own, but just as many don’t.” I took a deep breath and allowed myself a moment of vulnerability. “If I hadn’t joined the military, I don’t know where I’d be. And that’s major accountability.”
That made her smile, a smile that had always melted me, all pouty lips and dazzling white teeth pushed up against red-painted lips. “I’m sure you’d still be just fine, but thanks for saying that.”
I barely managed to hold back a snort remembering my pre-military self. I’d been lost, a mess, a little cuss. Boot camp had changed all that, and in some ways, that’s why I’d wanted to sign up for this. A sort of ‘Daddy’s Boot Camp’.
“I wouldn’t have,” I countered. “Trust me. We all need a little help from time to time.”
Lola looked sad; the expression on her face was one I couldn’t describe. “Is that why you wanted to do this? To help?”
It was part of it, and a part I shouldn’t feel bad about. Wanting to help wasn’t a bad thing, and yet from the expression on her face, I knew that would be the wrong answer. “I wanted to do it because I was moved by your story, and because we all deserve a second chance. And because”—I grabbed her hand—“I’ve always wanted to get to know you better, and this new Lola I see in front of me? I want to get to know her even more. I was so intrigued I couldn’t ignore my desires any longer.”
She smiled, then frowned and pulled her hand away. “I’ve always been intrigued by you, too. And I’m wondering if that’s a reason not to do this.”
“Sex is off the table,” I assured her. “It’s not an expectation. I just want to get to know you, and yes, I want to help you.” I raised my eyebrows and made them dance, earning a smile before I continued. “How about we just go through the negotiation and expectations, and then, if you want, you can decide it won’t work.”
Lola still looked hesitant, but she smiled and nodded. “Yes. Okay. Let’s do that.”