9. Dexter
9
DEXTER
Augie looked fucking adorable in his little sweatsuit pajamas. I wanted to tell him that, but I also wanted to be careful not to put too much pressure on him or try to influence our talk in any direction.
As much as I wanted to pursue the potential of a relationship with him, we needed to take things slow, and that meant I needed to understand all his needs and limits before we got too far.
Augie sat in the corner of the couch and pulled one of the throw pillows over his lap, likely trying to hide the erection I’d noticed when I first arrived.
The same one which still seemed to be present after we ate. Or maybe it had just come back.
I reached across the back of the couch but didn’t touch him. “Earlier, you asked me if I like Littles, and I told you that I did.”
He bit his lip and looked up at me. “Yes. I remember.”
“Well, I do, and I’m hoping to find a Little for myself. Someone who will let me love him and play with him and tickle him.” I reached down and tickled the bottom of his foot that was resting on the cushion between us. “What do you think about that?”
Augie’s shoulders drooped, and he looked at me with so much longing and desire. “I think I wish you were my Daddy, but… I’m not easy like Brayden.”
“I don’t need easy like Brayden. I need sweet like Augie. And honest and open and… Well, I guess there’s a lot of things we’d have to figure out along the way, but I guess I’m asking if you’re open to seeing me and considering whether we might be a good match?”
“Well, of course I want that. It just makes me so sad to know that someday you probably won’t want me anymore, and then I’ll be by myself again. Right now, I only know what it’s like to be by myself and not to have a Daddy all the time. But after I do have that and you’re gone…” He just shook his head as if he didn’t have the words to finish the sentence.
Even though I’d made rules for myself and limits on how physical things would get, those disappeared when I saw how much he was struggling. “Aug, would it be okay if I scooted closer to you? I feel like I need a hug.”
He swallowed hard and nodded his head. “Yeah. I think I do too.”
I slid across the crouch and slipped my arms under him, lifting him just high enough for my leg to slide underneath, so it was hooked behind his back and around his opposite side.
He instantly fell against my chest and wrapped his arms around me.
“I know it’s gonna take some time for me to earn your trust, and I know you’ve been hurt by bad people in the past, but I promise I’ll do my best to always be one of the good guys. I’ll be there for you no matter what and always put your needs first.”
He nodded against my chest. “I'd like that.”
“Do you know what I would like?”
His body went tense and then he slowly pulled back and looked at me. “What?”
“I’d like you to stop thinking—or at least saying—that you’re difficult or a problem. If I have a problem or difficulty, I’ll let you know. Until then, I don’t want you to tell me that you’re a problem. Can you agree to that?”
He shrugged. “I’ll try, but I might forget sometimes.”
I nodded. “And I also need you to be honest with me. If you’re worried about something or curious about something or would like to try something. Basically anything you’re thinking or feeling, I want you to feel comfortable sharing it with me. Nothing is embarrassing and nothing will scare me away. How do you feel about that?”
He grinned. “Um, terrified.”
I chuckled. “You’re not supposed to be terrified. You’re supposed to be relieved. That’s what a Daddy’s for. To take all those worries and fears and burdens away from you.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
“Maybe I should have asked this first. What do you want out of a Daddy?”
“I guess everything you said. It’s just gonna take me a while to believe I might have that.”
“Well, if I promise to keep earning your trust, do you promise to keep opening up to me?”
“Yes, I can promise that much.” He pressed his forehead to my chest, hiding his face from me. “And I want other stuff too.”
“I’m all ears.” I cupped his neck and rubbed along his jawline. “I want to know everything.”
“It’s just the regular stuff. Like, the stuff Brayden and Ethan do.”
I had a feeling I knew what he was referring to, but I needed to hear him say it. “Like what?”
He turned deeper into me, pressing his nose into my armpit. “Like bedroom stuff.”
“Augie.” I waited for him to exhale and pull back, barely peeking up at me.
“Yes?”
“We just agreed that nothing is embarrassing. And if you can’t talk about it or ask for it with words, we can’t do it. Does that make sense?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Like sex and kissing and stuff.”
“Okay, I like sex and kissing and stuff.” I grinned when his eyes finally opened wide enough to look at me.
“You do?”
“Of course I do, sweetheart. And I’d love to explore that with you. In time.”
“Time?” His smile dropped. “How much time?”
Excellent question. One I didn’t have a real answer to. “We’ll know when the time is right. There’s no rush to jump into anything physical. Maybe we can start with…” I placed my other hand on his neck and titled his head slightly. “A first kiss?”
He swallowed and his lips parted as he nodded subtly. “Yes, please.”