23 Newer Beginnings
NEWER BEGINNINGS
Mia
P rogress. Yesterday was my first full day without crying a single tear. So far, it’s been sixty-five days—well, sixty-six now, but who’s counting…? If it weren’t for signing up for online classes over the summer and starting college early, the transition would have been worse. As it is, I’ve been pretty distracted by all that, along with my part-time job, leaving not much room for wallowing.
But when I turn the lights off and climb into bed, I can’t seem to hold back—until last night. Sure, I stayed up until I was a zombie finishing an essay, but the point is, I did it. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep with no tears. There’s hope for me yet.
When I go into the kitchen for coffee, I’m surprised to see Mom there. “Good morning. Why are you still home?”
That’s what we’re calling it, even though this feels nothing like home, because what else are we going to do? They gave us a list of places to move that were easy to stay hidden and good for integration into the community. I chose the farthest option from San Diego, which happened to be Presque Isle, Maine—literally the farthest place save for Alaska.
“My first job was canceled. I’m leaving soon, but it was nice to relax and take my time this morning. Did you sleep well?”
“I did, actually,” I answer, grabbing coffee and plopping on a stool at the bar. This house is so different from our old one. It’s one level instead of two, and we didn’t have a kitchen island, which I’ve grown fond of. The place came furnished, and everything was nicer than what we had before. I’m not sure when it’ll start feeling like home, but we’ll have plenty of time to find out.
“Good. You look… better today. It’s nice to see you adjusting. How’s work?” What she means is that I usually look like hell in the mornings because I cry every night, but she doesn’t need to say it. I know she’s been worried about me, and I get it—she’s my mom, it’s her job. But worrying about it doesn’t do any good.
“It’s work. Just something to keep me occupied.” I shrug in response and see the sadness in her eyes. She knows I’m unhappy. I stopped hiding anything from her after everything happened, and that included my depression. Look where it got me last time I tried to keep things from her. Now, I just let it all out. The good, the bad, and the ugly—it is what it is.
“What about your coworkers? Are you going to hang out with anyone? Maybe go do something fun.” She means well.
“Mom, I’m fine. I’m busy with summer school anyway. I could have my degree in two years if I keep this up. I think that’s a better way to spend my time.” And the only way I want to spend it.
“Mija, making new friends doesn’t make your old ones any less important. You can have both.” How wrong she is.
“I don’t have any old friends, Mom. If I did, I’d call them, send postcards, and message them. Except I’m not allowed to, and I don’t even have social media accounts. Do you know how weird people think I am when they find out I’m not on social media? They look at me like I’m from another planet.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. Lots of people don’t have social media.”
“Mom, I’m eighteen, not fifty. At my age, everyone has something.” I sigh. “Look, seriously, it doesn’t matter. Like you said, I’m adjusting… but I’m just not the same girl I was in San Diego. I’m the new Mary, just like you’re the new Sara. We’re both adapting.”
She gives up after that and leaves me alone. I may look better this morning, but it didn’t take her long to see my attitude wasn’t. I tried to be resilient and keep an open mind for the first few weeks we were here. For my mom’s sake, I attempted to look at the bright side, to be positive—and then, suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is my life. But it’s not… and it fucking sucks.
Jackson
It’s been sixty-six days—and you can bet I’m counting. I’m no closer to finding Mia’s dad than I was on day one. I’ve been through three private investigators, and not one has found a single lead. I’m about to call a fourth when the answer stares me in the face. I’m no detective, but something Agent Bale said resonates with me: I’m more incentivized than anyone.
If there’s one person who will move mountains to find Roland Marcos, it’s me. I don’t know how the fuck to do it, but I have an idea where to start. I grab Mia’s personnel file from my desk to see which high school she attended. Bingo. It’s almost lunchtime, which means I’d better get a move on.
I’m just in time to see students filing out for the off-campus lunch. I hurry toward the front of the parking lot and stop the first kid I see.
“Hey there, I was hoping you could help me find someone. He’s a senior, his name is Walker, gay, tall, good-looking…”
“Yeah, he usually leaves for lunch. He’ll probably be out any minute—oh, there he is. Hey, Walker!” the guy shouts. “This guy is looking for you.”
He spots me, and I see his eyes widen in surprise. I walk over, relieved at having found him so quickly.
“Hey, are you free for lunch? I thought we could go somewhere to talk,” I say as he approaches.
“Wow, I didn’t think I’d see you again.” He’s skeptical, but there’s curiosity there.
“I think we have some catching up to do. What do you say?”
“Yeah. Damn, it’s just… you bring it all back. It sucks, you know?” Boy, do I.
“Yeah, come on, I’ll buy.” Fuck does it bring it back. But if it gets me closer to bringing her back, that’s all that matters.
We make small talk on the short drive, waiting to bring up Mia until we sit down with our food. We pick an outdoor table and take our first few bites before diving into the difficult topic. But even talking about her is better than nothing.
“So, how have you been? You were close to Mia. Did you know you were the only person she said goodbye to?” I shake my head in disbelief as he sighs.
“Shit. Yeah. I’m sorry about that. It sucks not knowing how she’s doing, not being able to call her. I’ll go to send her a text out of habit sometimes, and then, bam, it hits me all over again. What about you? Honestly, I figured you’d move on right away. No offense.”
“None taken. But no, there’s no moving on for me. I’m not letting her go.” Ever .
“You don’t have a choice. She’s gone. You plan on staying celibate for the next two to three years? And what if she decides to stay in her new life instead of coming back? Did you know they give her that option?”
“I’ll wait however long it takes. I’m not giving up on us. I’m assuming she told you what happened?” He nods. “It’s my fault she’s gone, but I will fix this and then pray she forgives me. When I said I was all in, I meant it.”
He shakes his head. “Damn, you’re worse off than I expected. For what it’s worth, I tried to get her to talk to you before she left. I told Mia this would happen, that you’d blame yourself. I didn’t think you’d still hold a torch for her, though.”
“It’s not just a torch—it’s a fucking inferno. Listen, Mia’s it for me. I can’t believe I let her slip through my fingers. I just wish she would’ve let me explain before she left or… I don’t know, at least tried to see where I was coming from.” I put my head in my hand and shake it with a growl.
“Dude, are you okay?” Walker asks.
“Yeah, it’s just… fuck, I wish we could’ve talked. Those assholes took advantage of her by pushing that decision. She shouldn’t be gone, for Christ’s sake!” I’m no less angry than I was in the interrogation room with Agent Bale that day.
“I agree, but there’s nothing you can do.”
“There is, which is why I came to see you. But then… I never get to talk about her anymore, and it was good to hear her name again—to speak her name again. Thank you for that.” I take a drink, giving myself a moment. “But the real reason I’m here is that there is something I can do to bring her back. I need to find her dad.”
The shock on his face is instant. “Her dad? Why? What good will that do?”
“He’s the one they need. His testimony is more powerful than Mia’s since he dealt directly with the head of the organization. So if I can find him, he can take her place.”
“You’re kidding me. That’s all it would take?”
I shake my head in exasperation. “Sounds easy, doesn’t it? If the FBI couldn’t track him down, though, how am I supposed to? So far, I haven’t found a single lead, but I won’t give up until I do. I’m grasping at straws here, trying to find something—anything. You were Mia’s best friend. She had to have talked to you about him, maybe mentioned his family, favorite cities, gambling habits—anything?”
“Damn, that’s heavy. I wish I had something for you, but Mia hated talking about her dad. She never forgave him for walking out on her mom. That’s Mia, always putting everyone else first. She never said how shitty it was that he walked out on her too.”
“She’s definitely a caretaker, which is all the more reason to do whatever I can to take care of her this time. Is there anything you can think of? The smallest detail could help.”
He hesitates for a moment, like he’s thinking it over, then huffs. “Look, the only thing I know is he had a gambling problem, and we both know that. She never said a thing about him. I got nothin’, dude. If something pops in my head, I’ll get in touch, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.”
“Yeah, okay. At least I can check this off the list. What’s your number? I’ll text you so you have mine, and then I better take you back.”
We make small talk in the car as I drive him back to school, discussing his classes and my business. After I drop him off, I head straight to my place, preparing myself for the next item on the list.
Grabbing my phone, I call my sister.
“Hi, Jackson, what’s up?” Cici answers.
“Hey. I need your help with something.”
“Okay.” She would do anything for me—until she hears what I’m about to ask. It won’t be easy to convince her.
“I need to go away for a while and won’t be able to run things while I’m gone. I know it’s a huge request, and I wouldn’t if it wasn’t important, but can you come home and take my place for a couple of months?”
“What the hell, Jackson? What’s going on? Where are you going?”
“Remember when I told you Mia had family issues and had to move away?”
“Yeah, how could I forget? You’ve been miserable ever since.” That sounds familiar.
“Well, there’s more to the story.” For the next few minutes, I tell her everything, starting the night Mia walked out, to my meeting with Agent Bale, finishing with my revelation this morning.
“Holy shit, why didn’t you say anything before? It would’ve explained a lot about your attitude over the last couple of months. God, Jackson, I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t think it would go on this long. I figured I’d find him right away, and she’d be back by now, but I’ve gone through three private investigators. I’m hiring the last one now to track some information down so I can take over the search. I need to get her back, Cici, and it’s going to take my sole focus to do it.”
“I get it, I do, but Jackson, you know this is a big ask. What about Mom and Dad? Have you talked to them about this?” I knew this would be the sticking point.
“They’re still on their monthlong cruise. Besides, I’m running this company, Cici—they’re not. It’s my decision. You know this business just as well as I do, whether you’ll admit it or not. You’re the only one I can count on. I wouldn’t be asking otherwise. Plus, you were planning to come for Lily’s wedding, and this way, you’ll be here early to help. Please just think about it. Give me a couple of months to dive in, and when I find him, you’ll be free to go.” I’m practically begging at this point.
“What about the closings we have coming up? You’re buying two projects here that’ll need your attention.”
“ We’re buying two projects there, and it’s not like I’ll be off-grid. I just can’t be around all day, every day. I’ll be available for things if necessary and can sign documents from wherever. It’s just your presence in the office that I’m asking for.”
“You’re asking for more than that, and you know it. Mom and Dad are coming home eventually, and then I’ll be forced to deal with them.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe it’s time for you to?” I gave up trying to solve their issues a long time ago.
“You’re not helping your case with comments like that,” she snaps.
“Sorry. I’ll do anything, Cici. What’s it going to take? I’ll pay your rent in Bozeman. You can live in my condo while you’re here—it was always better than yours anyway—and I’ll even buy you whatever purse your heart desires.”
“A purse? Think bigger, Jackson—a lot bigger. And you’re damn right you’re paying my rent.”
“Does that mean you’ll do it?” I’m afraid to get my hopes up.
She sighs. “Ugh… fine, I’ll do it. Only because I like Mia, though. It has nothing to do with you.”
I laugh for what feels like the first time in weeks. “God, you have no idea how much this means to me. I love you, sis. Seriously, thank you.”
“All right, all right. I must love you, too, if I’m agreeing to this. When do you want me there? I have to wrap up a few things before I leave.”
“That’s okay. I’m sure it’ll take a couple of days to track down the information, and then I’ll need to make arrangements. Is two weeks enough?”
“That should work. You owe me. And Jackson—don’t worry, you’ll find him.”
“I will. It’s just a matter of time.”
The information for my search came within a week. I’m starting at ground zero with Sofia’s family in Puerto Rico. They had to have met her husband at some point; maybe they’ll remember something about him that could help. I’m not leaving any stone unturned. I wish I could have gone right after receiving everything, but I waited for Cici and spent another week refamiliarizing her with the office and all current transactions. Now, I’m ready to get the hell out of here.
I’m looking forward to meeting the guys once more before taking off. Unlike my family, they’ve known everything from day one and are up to speed about my plan to find Roland. Braden helped by giving me two private investigators early on, but both came up empty-handed. I’m sick of relying on other people only to be disappointed.
“Hey, guys.” I greet the three men sitting at the table.
“You all set to head out tomorrow?” Braden asks.
“Packed up and ready to go. I’ve wanted to leave all week, but I had to get Cici up to date first.”
“I can’t believe you convinced her to come back. What did you bribe her with, because I know she doesn’t love you that much.” Eli chuckles.
“I’m pretty sure it has more to do with how much she and Mia hit it off, but there might be a purse involved. I would’ve offered more. I’m just glad she pulled through.”
“I can’t say the same since I’ve seen Lily less this week than I have all year,” Sebastian says sullenly.
“I think that’s the only other reason Cici agreed to come. She’s excited to be here for the wedding. How’s it going, anyway?” I ask. He and Lily are finally tying the knot in September. They had to wait for the venue they wanted. You’d think they could buy anything with all the money the Dubrees have, but what do I know?
“I try to stay out of it as much as possible. The wedding planner I hired has pretty much saved my sanity. Worth their weight in gold.” Sebastian says, holding his beer up before taking a sip.
“Do you have a time limit you’re setting for yourself or a plan for failure?” Braden asks out of the blue, bringing the conversation back to me. He’s the skeptical one of the bunch. Surprisingly, Sebastian has been the most supportive. The scare he had with Lily gives him a level of understanding the others lack. And I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that his onetime competition has a new obsession.
“You don’t tell someone to plan for failure, dumbass,” Sebastian quips.
I answer anyway. “I’ll keep searching until I find him. Failure isn’t an option.”
“Does your sister know that? I thought you told her it would be for a couple of months tops?” Eli asks, concerned.
“If everything goes my way, it will only be a couple months. She’ll be fine with Lily here, even if it takes longer. I’m sure some shit’s going to come up with my parents when they get back, though. Keep an eye on her for me. I want to make sure she handles it okay.”
“I’ll check on her and let you know,” Braden offers.
“Definitely not. Stay focused on your next piece of ass, and leave Cici alone. The last thing she needs is a ride on the Braden train. I can keep an eye on her. I’ll see her more than Braden anyway since she’s always with Lily,” Eli is quick to add. He can come up with any excuse he wants, but we’ve all figured out there’s more to the story by now.
“Hey, you know she liked me there for a while. Right after I broke up with Layla. If I weren’t so fucked over the breakup, I probably would’ve moved in on that.” Braden’s goading him at this point.
“Shut the fuck up, Braden. That ship sailed. Leave her alone.” Eli takes the bait, making the rest of us laugh. And joking or not, I decided to add my two cents.
“I second that. You know I love you, Braden, but keep your dick away from my sister. I know some of the places it’s been. Eli, I’ll take your offer if you stay alive long enough in between all the crazy shit you do. Keep me posted if she gets into it with my parents.” Eli’s been obsessed over chasing his next adrenaline high. His motto of living life to the fullest is getting a little reckless if you ask me.
“I’ll second that one,” Sebastian adds while giving Eli a look of admonishment.
“Do they know she’s here yet?” Eli asks me, ignoring our comments.
“No, I left a letter on the counter. They’ll get it when they get back. They’re still on the cruise, but they have a message to call me on their way home so I can at least warn them what they’re coming home to.”
“Well, I hope you’re more successful than the FBI, not to mention all the PIs you went through, but come on, man, you must know this is a long shot. I don’t want to see you lose your mind if you can’t find him. That’s all I meant earlier. I know you feel guilty, but it’s not worth throwing your life away.”
“Braden, I’m going to let that slide because I know you’re coming from a good place, but she is my life. I thought I made that clear. Even if it’s not until the end of the trial, I’ll get her back, and if her dad is the way to make that happen sooner, then I’ll find him.”
“Well, then, I hope you succeed sooner than later ’cause I’m gonna miss my best friend. These douchebags aren’t as fun.” He lifts his beer, and everyone follows suit.
“Good luck, man,” Eli says.
“Bring him in,” Sebastian adds as we clink our glasses in a final toast.