25 Closing In
CLOSING IN
Jackson
A fter moving to Los Angeles a couple of months ago, I finally feel like I’m on the brink of finding Roland. One of the Vegas tables eventually paid off, and a guy knew who he was. He’d heard that Roland left Sin City to try his hand in a more lucrative market and assumed he went to LA, where the big money was. By no means was it solid evidence, but at that point, I would have gone on less.
It turned out to be a wise decision because I’ve been talking to other players about the transplants coming in recently, and there’s a good chance Roland is around. I’ve become comfortable enough with one of the guys to have him join me for a pregame drink. He seems to be in the know around here and not on the wrong side of the fence. I’ve been buddying up to him for weeks now, and I’m ready to divulge why I’m here and show Roland’s picture.
“Hey, Jackson, thanks for the invite,” Darryl says as he reaches me.
“Yeah, I’m glad it worked out. I thought having a beer somewhere away from the poker table for once would be nice.”
As he sits, the waitress brings our drinks. “I ordered one for you, hope that’s okay.” I say to him.
“Never one to turn down a beer. Cheers.”
“Cheers.” We each take a sip, and then I dive right in. “So, I’ve been around for a couple months now and noticed you’re pretty connected with the poker circuit. Seems like you’ve been playing a long time and have things dialed in with who’s who.”
“When it’s your full-time job, that tends to happen. I wouldn’t be any good if I weren’t paying attention.”
“Right, so I imagine you’re the right person to ask about a guy I’m trying to find, and you seem like someone I could trust to keep this confidential.” So far, he doesn’t seem put off.
“As long as you’re not looking to start any trouble or do something illegal, I don’t see why not. Are you working for the government or some shit?” He sounds a bit skeptical, so it’s now or never.
“Yes and no. I’m not working for the government, but I’m trying to find someone for them.”
“Like a bounty hunter?” he asks, making me laugh.
“Huh. Now that you say that, I guess, in a way, I am. But instead of getting money for the guy I’m looking for, I’ll get my girlfriend back.” His eyes go wide as I take a swig of my beer.
“Okay, you’re gonna have to explain that one.” He laughs.
“The FBI has my girlfriend in a witness protection program. If I bring her dad in, they’ll trade her testimony for his. They gave up looking for him when they landed her, and I’ve been trying to find him for over eight months now.”
“Fuck, that’s some fucked up shit,” Darryl says, sighing.
“You’re telling me.”
“What will you do when you find him? Have the FBI pick him up or what?”
“I was thinking of paying him a visit to tell him how he fucked up his daughter’s life, and if the asshole doesn’t feel like manning up and making it right, then I’ll cuff him myself and bring him to their doorstep.”
“Jackson, the fucking bounty hunter. I like it. So, what’s his name, and what does he look like?”
“Glad you asked.” I pull the picture out and set it in front of him.
“That’s Ronny. I know the guy.” Darryl shrugs like it’s no big deal. Meanwhile, I about fall out of my chair.
Fucking A. After 270 days, I’m closing in.
Mia
It was a date; nothing happened, but it almost did. When Jeff started closing in for a kiss goodbye, I opened the door and bolted inside. My mom was there to hold me as I broke down in her arms. It’s the first time in 270 days that I was completely honest about where my head was and my struggle since being here.
It was liberating to confess everything. Mom had no idea Jackson and I had become that serious in such a short time and felt terrible for not helping me through it. It was my fault for not confiding in her to begin with, but my absolving her of guilt didn’t make her feel better. She tried insisting that we pack up and exit the program, dealing with the fallout.
I almost filled my suitcase right then, but after thinking about it more, I knew it wasn’t the solution. Yes, I’d have Walker in my life, but going home at the risk of seeing Jackson with someone else would break my heart all over again. So, after talking it through, we both decided the best thing was to stay.
I’ve made progress. I downloaded all my pictures of Jackson to a separate file on my computer and deleted them from my phone. That way, my temptation to look throughout the day was taken away. Jeff finally convinced me to go on a date, which ended up being fun. It wasn’t much different from work, just a change in environment.
If I stay the course and continue taking baby steps, the gaping hole in my heart will eventually heal, right?
Jackson
After having beers with Darryl last Friday, executing a plan for Roland took a week. He did me a solid and organized a fake game set up in a hotel room so Roland would walk right into my hands. I’m glad for the extra few days to prepare because it turns out that Mia’s dad is a piece of shit who couldn’t care less about his daughter.
Once I let him in the room and he realized he’d been duped, he tried to make a run for it. The fucker didn’t make it far before my gun came out, and he quickly decided his life was more important than bolting.
I ordered him to sit the fuck down, pointing the gun in his direction, and it’s been trained on him since.
Now, here I am explaining to him what’s going on and what’s about to happen. After I finish, he pauses for all of thirty seconds and goes straight into “save his ass” mode.
“I’ve been hitting some big pots. Name your price, and we’ll pretend this conversation never happened,” he says coolly.
“You’d seriously let your daughter take the heat for you? Ruin her life so you can keep playing poker? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I’m seething.
“She’s being taken care of, isn’t she? They’re fine living off the government for free while waiting for a court date. I don’t see what the problem is.”
“There’s a reason they’re in the program, dumbass. They’re in danger because you ran. They’re hiding, giving up their lives because of your shitty decisions.”
“You don’t think I’m in danger? I’m hiding from the same guys they are.”
Who the fuck is this asshole? Mia is better off without him.
“Then go in and give your testimony. Take Mia’s place and let the FBI protect you. Do it for your daughter.”
“The best thing for her is to have me out of her life. This way, it stays like that. Tell me how much to make you go away so you can pick up the next guy on your list.”
While we agree that he should stay out of her life, I think it’s time to make clear what’s about to go down and that it’s nonnegotiable.
“I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not here for the FBI. I’m here for Mia, and the only payment I’ll accept is you.” I stalk toward him.
“Let’s talk about this—work something out.” He’s got his hands up in the air facing me, trying to stop my advance.
I’ve already had enough of this asshole and his begging, so I knock him out with the butt of my gun and cuff him. It was intentional to pick a motel with exterior doors. It’s not hard to drape him over my shoulder and load him into the back seat of my car, which is already packed for my return to San Diego.
Two and a half hours later, and 277 days since I vowed to deliver this asshole, I drag Roland into the FBI’s office, demanding to see Agent Bale.
“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” he says when he sees us. “If it isn’t Jackson Soloman. And I assume this is the one and only Roland Marcos? I gotta hand it to you… I didn’t think you’d be able to find him, but here you are.” He turns to another agent walking up. “Put him in room one. I’ll be in shortly.” The guy leads Roland away.
“You’ve got your man. Now tell me where Mia is.”
“It doesn’t work that fast around here. We need to sort this out first—take Roland’s statement, ensure he’ll cooperate, then talk with Mia and Sofia to review their options. It won’t happen overnight, Jackson. These things take time.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve waited over nine months, so I’d appreciate you speeding that up.” I’ll go crazy if they make me wait much longer.
“We’ll do the best we can. Give us a couple days to figure things out. I’ll reach out when I have some answers for you, all right?” He holds out his hand to shake, and I take it.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Mia
“Hello?” My greeting sounds skeptical. Caller ID showed Agent Wallace’s name, but I haven’t heard from them for months, so the call has me nervous.
“Hi, Mia, it’s Agent Wallace. Is now a good time to talk?”
This is so out of the blue. Hearing the voice from my past again gives me butterflies in my stomach.
“I’m home, and my mom is the only other person here, so we’re good.”
“Great. I have some news for you. Can you put me on speaker so you can both listen in?”
“Um, sure. Let me just go to the other room. Hang on.” I press Mute and go into the kitchen, where I find Mom.
“Agent Wallace is on the phone and has something to tell us. I’ll put it on speaker, okay?” I sit on a stool at the breakfast bar.
“I wonder what it is,” she says, taking the seat next to me.
I unmute the call. “Okay, we’re both here, and you’re on speaker.”
“Great. We just had a new development. As you know, we’ve been building our case against not only Frank and Jay but also their boss, whom you were fortunate enough not to meet. Unfortunately, your testimony was only enough to bring in Frank and Jay. Our goal was to use their cooperation to go after their boss, but it’s been somewhat difficult to navigate.”
“Are you any closer to reaching a trial?” I ask.
“We’re not, and because of that, your name hasn’t been submitted as a witness of record, which is good news considering we have another key witness who came in having had direct contact with all parties, not just Frank and Jay. That means you aren’t essential to the case since he’s willing to testify. We’ll only use your testimony if jurisdiction allows us to submit you as an anonymous witness. Either way, you’re in the clear. You’re being released from the program and are both free to return to your previous identities if you choose.”
“What do you mean, if we choose?” I’m seriously shell-shocked right now, but not enough to have missed that last part.
“In cases lasting an extended period, people tend to settle into their new lives, and sometimes it’s more appealing to stay where they are. Each situation is unique, and we leave it up to the individuals to decide what’s best for them before we help facilitate whichever direction they go.”
“So, you’re saying we’re being released from the program, but if we want to stay, we can? What if we stay, can we still contact our family and friends?” I have so many more questions.
“Yes, Mia, that’s exactly what I’m saying, and yes, you are free to call anyone from your past after you’re officially released. The next step would be making any final arrangements to help you transition out of the program and processing the paperwork for whichever location you choose. We realize it’s not always an easy decision. Take some time to talk it over and call me in the next day or two so I can get the ball rolling. Reach out with any questions that come up. I know we have some details to work out regarding school and living arrangements, but we can tackle those items once you’ve decided where to park yourselves.”
“Wow, okay. I guess we have a lot to talk about, then. Thank you, Agent Wallace. I’ll let you know what we decide.”
“Good luck, ladies. Bye.”
“Wait! What about our names? Can we go back to our real ones?” I ask.
“Yes, but if you stay where you are and want to keep your new ones, you can also do that. We’ll take care of all the logistics during the exit protocol.”
“Okay. We’ll decide soon.”
“Sounds good. Bye, ladies.”
I hang up, and my mom and I sit in silence, staring at the phone. Why now? Wasn’t 278 days long enough to be tormented? Nope, now I’m faced with one of the most difficult decisions yet. The hole that finally started to close just opened wide again.
Jackson
“We made a deal. I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain. You can either bring her to me or tell me where the fuck she is so I can go get her myself.” I’m in the interrogation room at the FBI office in San Diego, 280 days after my life fell apart and two days after I made a delivery to put it back together. I came as soon as I got out of the shower to a fucking voicemail from Agent Bale saying that Mia was staying put.
“Look, Jackson, we talked to them and explained the situation. They know we have another witness in custody and that we’re taking his testimony in place of hers. We told them they were free to return but could also choose to stay where they were. They chose to stay.”
“And where is that?” I ask, barely keeping my anger under control.
“That information is classified. It’s their decision to reintroduce themselves to their previous life if and when they choose. She knows she can contact anyone from her past immediately after the paperwork is filed.”
“That’s not good enough. I want a way to contact her.” This is unacceptable.
“Did you know we keep a close eye on the people in witness protection, especially within the first year?”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is, she’s made a new life there—new job, new school, new… friends . She would’ve come back if she wanted. Maybe you should respect her decision and work toward moving on like she has.”
That can’t be true . Did I take too long? It can’t end like this.
“Fuck you, and your advice. You owe me a location, asshole. I’m going to become your worst nightmare until I get it. If what you said is true about her new friends , I’ll leave her alone, but I’m not backing down until I see for myself. Either take me to her or tell me where I can find her. It’s the least you can do since I spent the last nine months of my life tracking down your key witness.”
He sighs and looks toward the two-way mirror like he’s listening to someone. “All right, if that’s what it takes to get you off our ass, you can see for yourself. No contact, though, just observation. Do we have a deal?”
“Deal.” Thank fuck.
“Give us a week to make arrangements with the local handler. We’ll have him escort you to a surveillance point.”
I’m dialing the number I should have called days ago as I walk out of the building.
“Hey, Jackson, long time no talk,” Walker answers.
“Yeah, I figured it was time for an update. I finally found Mia’s dad and made a special delivery to the FBI on Friday. They told me today that Mia decided to stay where she is. They won’t give me a way to contact her and said it’s her choice whether to reconnect. It’s fucking bullshit.”
“Damn, that’s harsh, considering you’re the reason she’s free. I’m sorry. Especially since you wasted almost a year for nothing.”
“If it helped Mia, it wasn’t wasted. They told me she’s moved on and implied that she’s dating someone. They’re allowing me to see for myself but just to observe and prove she’s okay. At least it’s something. Who knows, maybe it’ll give me closure.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Will you do me a favor and let me know if you hear from her?”
“Sure, if you call me after seeing her and let me know how she looks.”
“I will. Talk to you then.”
I hang up and drive home, almost wishing I hadn’t found Roland last week. At least then I’d still be under the delusion of holding Mia in my arms again. How the hell am I supposed to just walk away after this?
Mia
Dredging myself out of bed, I head into the kitchen for coffee before attempting my morning run. I need all the help I can get for that.
“Good morning, mija. Did you sleep well last night?” Mom asks from the living room.
It’s nice seeing her relaxed on her days off, which has been more often since we’ve lived here—yet another reason our decision was a good one. We’re still working out the details of our exit from the program, so I guess we’ll see if that remains the case.
“Okay, I guess. Did you?” I ask in return.
“I always sleep better on Fridays, knowing I can rest the next day.” She hesitates a moment. “So, it’s been a week since we decided, and we haven’t talked about it since. How are you feeling? Are you still sure it’s what you want? We can always change our minds.”
“I’m sure. We’ve settled in here, and like I said, going back could be an emotional setback.” One I can’t put myself through again.
“You’re right, it could be, but what if there’s a chance it wouldn’t, and you’re missing the opportunity to be with him? Are you willing to take that risk?”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure what the right thing is, but I can’t start over again. It took me so long to even think of him without crying. If you’d asked me that question a month ago, my answer may have been different, but I’ve felt like I can breathe again recently.”
“Does that have anything to do with another certain someone?” she asks with a smile.
“Maybe…” I’m still undecided on that. I’ve been wondering recently whether I could really see Jeff as more than a friend or if I’m just using him as a distraction.
“All right. Well, don’t be surprised if I check in now and then. I just want you to be happy, Mia. Have you decided if you’re going to use your real name here?”
“Yeah, I think it would be easier and more natural.”
“I’m glad. I think that’s a good decision, mija.”
“I hope they give us the okay to call people soon. It would be nice to wish the family a Merry Christmas next week. Plus, I’m dying to call Walker.”
“I bet it’ll be any day now. Fingers crossed.” She makes the gesture.
“I better change for my run so I have time to get ready for work. Love you.”
Running has turned into a lifesaver for me. It’s the best time to dive into my thoughts and figure out what the heck I’m doing. This past week was rough, making such a big decision and second-guessing myself every five minutes. I can’t wait to fill Walker in on everything and be able to talk like we used to. He always has the best advice.
I’ve had plenty of time to move on, so why haven’t I been able to? Maybe this decision is what I need to make that happen. Jeff has been patient in coaxing me out of my shell, but if it’s so difficult, maybe it’s not meant to be. Time will tell, I suppose, and since I have an infinite amount of that now, perhaps I need to move forward and find out.
Saturdays are generally busier in the coffee shop, making it the only day Jeff and I both work instead of passing during shift changes. We do well together, as he tends to take the register, leaving me to stay busy making the drinks. I love working, having my mind quiet down, too occupied with the task at hand. Also, Jeff would agree that I make better drinks. I’ve developed a cult following for my lattes, with perfect temperatures, flavor, and just the right amount of foam.
We’ve been slammed all afternoon because it’s one of the last shopping days before Christmas, but we just got our first reprieve of the day. I’m sore from the number of coffees I’ve made and stretching my neck as I wipe the counters.
“Here, you’ve been a madwoman today. Let me help.” He comes up behind me and begins massaging my shoulders.
“Oh my God, that feels sooo good. I think that’s a record for the most drinks I’ve made in a day.” He continues massaging while I stand there and melt. He’s good. “How did I not know you could do this? Wow, I’d be paying you after each shift had I known.”
“You’d never have to pay me to put my hands on you, Mary. I’ll happily do this every day for free.” Hearing my name from his mouth reminds me that I haven’t told him anything yet. I don’t think that’s a conversation to have at work, though, so maybe I should suggest we do something.
“Keep going and I might hold you to that.” Unfortunately, a customer comes in, and I groan at having to stop, making him laugh.
“There’s more where that came from, don’t worry.” He rubs up and down each arm before going to the register.
“What do you think about hanging out next Friday after my shift? We could grab dinner or something… unless you’ll still have family in town. Then we can do it another time,” I ask when we’re alone again.
He picks up my hand and starts massaging my forearm. “Seriously, wow.” I moan as my head slumps down.
“If I’d know this was all it would’ve taken to get you to go out with me, I would’ve been doing this all along. I must be good if you’re asking me out now.”
I playfully shove his shoulder. “It’s not the massage. I was going to see if you wanted to do something anyway. I figured it was my turn after last time. I know you’ve had family in town, so I was waiting.”
“I would love to have dinner with you next Friday. It’s a date.” He kisses my hand before switching to the other arm.
Is that what it is? Did I seriously just ask him out on a date?
My head turns toward the door at the sound of another customer coming in when something out the window catches my eye. Not something, but someone. Across the street, between two buildings, I see two men walking away. The movement from the corner of my eye was of them turning before going down the alley.
My heart is thumping like crazy. Am I manifesting him because of what I just did, or was seeing Jackson’s doppelg?nger the universe trying, yet again, to tell me something?
Jackson
I was frozen, unable to move my feet, when the agent escorting me to see Mia physically turned my body and pushed me down the alley.
“Sorry, buddy, time’s up. You saw what you needed to and almost blew it in the process.”
I’m numb. No words can describe the despair at seeing someone else’s hands on her. The banter between them, the way she smiled at him… it was like a knife in my heart. I needed this, though, to be sure they were telling the truth. I wouldn’t have taken anyone’s word without seeing it firsthand.
But now that I have…