Chapter 13
13
Katy/Katherine
A s I hurried to change and get ready for bed—and to get back to make sure that they were doing everything correctly for Liam—I thought about everything Jason said. And one thing stood out from all the others… he was right, I did want to run away and hide, ignoring all of this . It was so tempting.
When it had just been Liam for those few days, I’d been able to push all my feelings aside, to ignore them and focus only on caring for him. But with the guys back, it wasn’t as easy. Seeing them, hearing their voices, it allowed those buried feelings to bubble, attempting to push their way to the surface. Something I didn’t have the bandwidth to deal with everything else going on in my life. After all, it wasn’t like I didn’t have a job, my last year of high school to complete, making plans for after graduation, growing my relationships with three men while hiding them from the public were just some of the many things on my list to deal with.
But every time I saw Peter or heard his voice, I thought about how he’d had left me alone—at the hospital, not so much while at the pool because I understood the potential complications if someone complained about a young, attractive, male teacher hanging around his barely dressed young, female students. I remembered how scared and hurt I’d felt when he disappeared, leaving me alone when I was cocooning myself for protection.
I’d worked so hard this past year to overcome it, to forgive him, but now, all that hurt was back and even greater. To know, my being attacked and extremely ill had lost out to a quick romp in a bathroom or possibly storage closet… I didn’t know how to deal with it. And it wasn’t like I could talk to my mom or friends for advice. Only Jason and Jarrod were viable options which posed its own problems. Not only were they not exactly impartial, but rightly or wrongly, some of those same feelings were transferring to them, leaving me all alone to try and work through it all.
“Fuck.” I slammed my hand against the counter, forgetting about the tube of toothpaste in it, squirting toothpaste all over the sink. I stared at it in disgust, annoyed that I couldn’t seem to catch a break. I should have been able to handle my frustration, but no, it got the better of me. And instead of making things better, it made it worse. One of those stupid feedback circles my previous councillor always spoke about.
I pinched the bridge of my nose as I struggled to control my breathing. Shelly had worked hard with me to learn techniques to control my anxiety, and she’d said they’d work on other harmful emotions, too. Guess I’d put her words to the test.
After a few deep breathes, calmness or rather numbness stole over me. Not quite tamping down the frustration, anger, and even weariness at the situation, but at least it wasn’t so overwhelming. It took a few handfuls of water and a swipe with the cleaning cloth to clean up my mess once I finished brushing my teeth. I may not have been happy with everything that was going on, but I wasn’t about to leave a big mess for them to clean. Maybe that was a skill they needed to learn from me since it felt like I was the one who was having to clean up their messes.
That thought nearly had me stumbling over my feet as I reached the nursery door. Was that really what I thought? Did I think that Liam was part of a mess that wasn’t mine?
I didn’t know the answers to those questions—or any of the hundreds of others that circled my brain. But I did know that standing and staring at the propped open door wouldn’t help.
With the need to climb into bed, to allow myself to sink into oblivion, riding me hard, I pushed open the door, and walked into the room. Once I saw Jason sprawled out on the bed in nothing but his tight boxer briefs, displaying all his muscles, glorious tattoos, and his pierced nipples for my perusal, I closed the door behind me.
As I stared at him, taking in every centimetre of his body, one answer jumped to the front of my mind. I knew how I could stop thinking. With a plan in place, I climbed onto the bed and crawled up his body until I straddled his hips. He stared at me, eyes darkening with desire even as he battled confusion about what I was up to.
I leaned down over his reclining body. “Kiss me. Make me forget everything for a little bit.”
His gaze drilled into me, examining me for something, but whatever it was, I must have passed because he captured my cheek with his palm as he did a crunch, bring his lips up to mine. “Always.”
And then he did, capturing my lips with his, stroking them, licking them, nibbling on them. When my lips parted, he struck, sliding his tongue inside, branding me as his. He used his hand to tilt my head as he brought us closer, but it was his second hand that had me gasping when he squeezed my hip, tilting it as he slid my pelvis over his large, hard, length.
“I know you’re not ready… and it’s not the right time, but let me make you feel good,” he said between kisses as his lips trailed down my neck. The movement had me arching my neck while dropping my chest closer to his. My aching, cotton covered nipples brushed over his chest, knocking every thought but one from my head.
“Please. Anything. Make me…” but I couldn’t think of what else to say. I didn’t know what else to say. This was all still too new for me. But that didn’t matter. I didn’t need to spell it all out because Jason knew exactly what I needed. He always did.
“Trust me?”
“Always.”
With a suddenness that made my heart race, he flipped us, hovering over me. Surrounded by him in all senses of the word, I relaxed. All my worried fled because I knew he’d take care of me.
His lips trailed over the exposed skin of my upper chest. I thought—or maybe hoped—he’d lift my shirt to suck on my breasts, but I was wrong. Instead, he wrapped his mouth around as much as my boob as he could over my thin sleep shirt. When he backed off, after making it all wet, and then blew on it, causing my nipple to tighten almost painfully, all disappointment fled. This new form of pleasant torture might have almost been my favourite to date.
He did it to the other side and I cried out his name. “Jason. Need you…”
Despite how dark his eyes were with desire, when he lifted his gaze to meet mine, they sparkled. My breath caught. All three were gorgeous, but when they looked at me like that—well, Jason and Jarrod since I really hadn’t done anything like this with Peter—it always blew me away. How could they want me? I wasn’t anything, nothing compared to the women they’d been with over the years, but that look, that look made me believe that I was special, was worthy of them.
I held my breath, wondering what he was going to do next even as my body vibrated with need and anticipation. He didn’t leave me waiting. With a flick of his wrists, he pulled my sleep shorts down, baring me to him. Before embarrassment could find its way to be the prominent emotion I felt, he spread my legs, pushing the shorts down to my ankles and then off. He licked his lips.
I wanted to say something, do something, but my mouth, my brain, none of it worked. It was all a jumbled mess. I’d heard of this, heard it was amazing, even seen it happen—although those burned in memories were starting to fade—but this was the first time, outside of the medical exam the previous summer, anyone was seeing me there. Before I could feel scared, he kissed the inside of my thigh. Just a soft, chaste kiss, except for the spot it happened. That, more than anything else, kept me from tensing up. This was Jason. My Jason. The man who held me tight when I needed comfort. The man who dropped everything to talk me through panic attacks. The man who set my blood on fire. With him, I never had to worry.
And then I really didn’t worry.
He moved his mouth over my skin, climbing higher, placing an open mouth kiss over me, letting the tip of his tongue flick my clit. I moaned. It felt so good, I wanted to melt into a puddle even as I wanted more. Much, much more.
“Please,” I begged.
A light touch from his fingers spread my inner lips. I shivered at the contrast between his warm breath and the coolness of the air conditioning on skin that wasn’t used to being brushed by the air. Although the coolness didn’t last for long when his mouth attacked me, lapping me up as if he was someone who’d been starved and then presented with an all you can eat buffet. With each swipe, he took me on a rollercoaster ride and all I could do was hang on. I shoved my fingers into his hair, gripping it tightly. When one of his fingers slid lower, circling my opening, the muscles of my body clenched, tugging on his hair, pulling his mouth away.
I wanted to cry, to scream in frustration, but then he moaned. The vibrations brushed against my core, starting a whole new set of delicious tingles to race over my body.
But it wasn’t just me affected by the move.
If I’d thought Jason had been acting starved before, it was nothing to how he was now. Lips, tongue, fingers, he used them all. He pressed his finger harder against my opening. The wetness that seeped from me, coating it, allowing it to press inside, stretching me.
That cliff Jarrod had taken me to, raced towards me. There was no gentle build up, no time for second thoughts. It was just there, right in front of me. And as I teetered on the edge, Jason slid his finger deeper as he sucked on my clit, shoving me over. A shared second of pain and fear that was overwhelmed with pleasure… and I got my wish. My brain short-circuited, leaving me blissfully thoughtless, floating in a sea of black.
Kisses placed on my tummy rooted me back in the real world. When they stopped, I opened my eyes to see Jason next to me, stroking himself. I tried to sit up, wanting to help, to give him the same pleasure he’d given me, but my body was boneless. Instead, I rolled to my side, unable to take my gaze off him. He was big—not that I had any first-hand knowledge to compare him to. Thick, tatted, and pierced, like the rest of him. My mouth watered. Girls at school talked about giving BJs, but none ever talked about a piercing. How was I supposed to deal with that? Not that it seemed to cause him any problems. His hand slid up and down in a smooth motion.
“I should be doing that for you.”
He stilled, before tilting my head up to look at him. “You never have to do anything. There is no requirement for you to reciprocate. I did what I did because I wanted to. I wanted to please you, to give you pleasure.”
“I-I want to do that, too.”
“If, you’re sure?”
I nodded and reached for him. Ha captured my hand and led it to his dick, wrapping my hand around of much of it as it could. It was warmer than the rest of his skin. Softer and smoother than other parts of him despite how hard he was underneath. He kept his hand on mine and when he slid our joined hands up towards his tip, his breath hitched.
“Fuck, Baby Girl, that feels so good.”
And it must have because it only took a few strokes before he came all over our hands. He pressed a kiss to my lips. “That was amazing. Let me go get something to clean us up and then you need some sleep.”
I yawned and nodded, but that was the last thing I remembered.