Dangerously Yours (Titans of Chicago #3)

LULU

The event for John and Cheryl Waters had gone off without any further hitches, and the matriarch had even been so impressed that she planned to recommend me to all of her friends. Word of mouth was important in this business, and the sooner I could compile a professional portfolio, the sooner I could relax when it came to my pending divorce. Both of us had reviewed the papers, and while I wanted to just sign my portion and be done with everything, my attorney was strongly against that. In fact, he had his legal secretary pouring over all the terms Cade had put in there, as well as the pre-nuptial agreement I had been made to sign almost two decades ago.

I understood his hesitation, and I appreciated his attention to detail, so I had allowed him more time to review everything. I wouldn’t put it past Cade to insert damning terms into the papers, all in hopes that I would miss it and sign away something I wanted. He had already told me that he intended to sell the penthouse we had lived in together. I had no true attachment to the place, but our children did. They grew up there, and I would be damned if I would let him just uproot the kids as some sort of punishment to me.

Yes, I did wonder once or twice whether his infidelity was the worst thing that could happen to me. A lot of men with money and power did similar things to their wives, so why was I trying to be so different? I would then realize it was because I had pride, and if I couldn’t be his one and only, I didn’t want to be anything at all to him. Unlike those others who stayed for the security their men provided, I deserved better than to settle. Unfortunately, my entire world had been wrapped up in him and I had no idea where to even start when trying to find myself.

“I won’t let you win,” I told Cade’s smiling face in the photograph.

This particular one had been taken back in better times. I think it was not long after I had Zachary. The two of us were on a quasi vacation to Fuji, which had been a place I had always wanted to go. I could remember that day like it was only yesterday, except it had been over a decade earlier, and the same magic was no longer here. There were no recent photos of us, especially not with him looking at me so reverently like he was in this one. I kept it in my hand, then grabbed the others of him and moved them to the nearly empty box.

The sooner I got rid of visual reminders of him, the sooner I could rediscover myself, and the things that made me feel alive. The latter would likely be something that took me a lot longer to accomplish, and it didn’t matter whether it was here in this place, or wherever I was able to find for me and my children. They were the only people that mattered to me.

I returned to the mantle and I was tempted to remove the pictures of them with their father, but I finally decided to leave those up. My life with my soon-to-be ex was over, but not theirs. He would always be their father, and as such, he would always be in our lives whether I wanted him to be or not.

I moved on to some of the other things I needed to pack up, mostly the books and other items he cared so much about. Cade collected cigar boxes, and in the study, he had a shelf lined with all of those he found on our travels. I picked up one from a trip to Cuba, and opened the wooden box. The scent of stale cigars remained even though the box was empty. It wasn’t a smell I would miss.

Deciding to pack all of those up, I brought another box into the study, then proceeded to pack each one of them in it. Afterward, I skimmed through all of the books on the one shelf. Our tastes in reading were completely opposite. He preferred science fiction while I was a fan of romance. I packed up each of his books, then picked up one of mine. This particular one was from a series I had started, but had not yet finished reading. It was the third book in the series, and feeling as if a break was needed, I took it with me into my bedroom.

We had a sitting area in the far corner of the room, and after settling onto the recliner and tossing the fleece throw blanket over me, I glanced at the front cover model. The man was gorgeous, and his dark hair and eyes were a complete contradiction to the man I married.

No wonder why I gravitate toward these books.

It wasn’t the only reason, but it was a big one. I continued to stare at the man on the book, and his rippling abs resembled someone else I knew. I had tried to put that man out of my head because there was no way he would ever be interested in someone like me. He was much younger and could have any woman he wanted. A soon-to-be divorcee with three children and no financial future wasn’t one of those. Alas, I still kept his face in my mind as I opened the book and started with the first chapter.

The hero in this book was a carpenter, and he was there in the heroine’s mansion to repair a hole in the wall, and it made me immediately think back to Noah and the roof leak the night of the party. He had stepped right in and fixed everything for me. No one had a clue that the running fountain was also concealing a leak, and it was something I had actually gotten credit for once I told the building owner about the issue. He had been very apologetic, and he promised to have the entire roof checked out as soon as possible. With a twenty five percent discount on the next rental I might do from him, I made sure to get it in writing. Cutting costs would help ensure that I would be more competitive compared to other party planners, which would hopefully help me land more customers.

Still, the highlight of the entire evening had been Noah’s arrival. I let out a groan, then closed my eyes as I relived the moment he had taken off his shirt. The man was a star quarterback on a professional sports team, so of course he was toned, but the actual sight of his bare chest caused my heart to skip a beat. It also made me wet, especially as my thoughts turned from the book to the man who could easily fill the pages of anyone out there.

“Chuck won’t be home for several hours,” the heroine had told the hero when she had come up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Fuck, Amy,” he had responded, then spun her around. “We don’t have much time then.”

The hero in this particular one had been Abram, and having stopped right at that part, I already knew what was about to happen. I would read a few pages of sex between the two main characters, only I was no longer picturing the two characters anymore. In fact, when I closed my eyes, I saw Noah, and I had just led him inside to look at the leaky roof. The caterer was nowhere to be found, and Gabriel had not been waiting in the wings. It was the two of us, and as he looked up at the ceiling, I did what Amy had done to Abram, only there was no threat of a husband to ruin things between us.

There was only my own insecurity. As I imagined wrapping my own arms around him, I peppered his exposed shoulders with kisses. “Noah—” I would begin before he would untangle himself from me.

“Lulu,” he would say to me. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing that we both don’t want.”

“You’re married,” he would say, and I would laugh.

“Some marriage it was. Cade wanted everyone but me, but not you. I see the way you look at me. It’s as if you’re devouring me, and I want that, maybe even more than you do.”

Noah would turn me in his arms, then tip my face up. “I do want you so badly.”

“Take me, Noah,” I would tell him, then the book fell from my hands as I stretched out in the chair as this fantasy continued to play in my mind.

Noah would fuse his mouth to mine, and the feeling of aliveness that I sought would be within reach. His large hands would lift me off of my feet. There would be a table there, but in my fantasies, it was empty so he could sit me atop it. Cade barely did any foreplay with me, so it was no surprise that I would imagine Noah taking his time to turn me on. By the time he removed his own shirt, I would be so turned on. He would be in no hurry, however, as he would move from one breast to the other. Although this was a fantasy, the need for some sort of touch was so strong that I brought my own hands to my breasts, and tried to mimic his actions.

I rubbed the taut material over my nipple until it hardened painfully underneath. I then plucked absently at it while keeping my eyes squeezed shut.

“Do you ache, Lulu?” He would ask as his hands made me squirm.

And before I could answer, he would unbutton my shirt and unfasten the front clasp of my bra. My breasts would spill out into his hands, and when his mouth would lower to one of them, I would let out a moan.

“Take me, Noah. I need to feel ? —”

“I know what you need, Lulu,” he would say, and moments later, my skirt would be off, as would be his shirt.

I would drag my hands up and down his chest until he spread my legs apart. Following his imagined movements, I slipped one hand between my legs. Keeping my eyes closed, I rubbed my flesh rough enough to make myself arch off the chair. Three or four fingers had nothing on the visions playing through my head, but I continued anyway.

First, I would feel his fingers on me, then later his mouth. It was hard to stay in the right mindset so I could get myself off when I had so much built up in my chest at the moment. I wouldn’t fail even though I was growing more frustrated by the second. My much-needed orgasm was like my marriage, seemingly just out of reach. I refused to let Cade steal anything else from me. If nothing else, I deserved to have the edge taken off, no matter the means.

I closed my eyes, as I continued thrusting my long fingers into my core. My sharp nails grazed my inner walls, and using that pain, I worked hard on driving myself closer to the edge. My breathing was rapid, and trying to ride my hand had my head spinning. I decided to focus less on myself, and more on Noah. He would then play with my pussy for a few seconds until he thrust inside of me. While I had no knowledge of how big he might be, I imagined his package would be every bit as impressive as the rest of him.

“Noah,” I cried out once or twice, as recent frustrations and stress finally began to melt away.

I moved my fingers faster all while imagining they were his cock instead. He was determined, as much as I was, and it wasn’t long after that the release I desperately sought found me. My orgasm washed over me in waves, and it was as hard to breathe through them as it would be with actual water in the ocean.

I needed this, though. It was the main reason I never let up and kept finger-fucking myself until I came a second time. That orgasm was albeit much more subdued, but still desperately needed as well. When the last ripple moved through me, I pulled my fingers away and got up. On the way to the bathroom, my legs wobbled slightly, but I made it there in time to clean myself up.

A few minutes later, I changed my panties but stayed in just a long T-shirt. I was about to go back to reading when I caught my reflection in the mirror. Without make-up, I looked much older, but I realized that it no longer mattered. Yes, I was almost forty, but age was nothing but a number. I still had needs, and they could still be met. Maybe not by someone like Noah Capshaw, but there had to be someone else out there. I might be old, but I wasn’t dead. That made me smile, and I decided instead of procrastinating my reading, I would work more on getting Cade’s stuff boxed up.

He would be back tomorrow with the children, and there was no better time to give him his things back. If he chose not to take them, I would simply donate them to an area thrift store. I would no longer let his presence upset me. I would also not roll over and let him steamroll over me in this divorce. Despite my desire to be done with him, once and for all, I would be smart and let my attorney handle things. He might be a Titan, but he could be taken down, and he would. I was once called a slayer, but those people had no idea. Cade didn’t either, but he would.