Dangerously Yours (Titans of Chicago #3)

NOAH

Lulu’s words were the ones men dreaded hearing from women the most. I was no exception as I quickly realized when I obliged. I pulled out of her, then cleaned us both up, before holding her in my arms as we sat in front of the same window I had just fucked her against.

“What is it?” I asked her.

“This thing between us has to end.” Her voice was forlorn, and I stared incredulously at her.

“End? It’s barely just begun, Lulu. Tell me why you’re feeling like this now, and we can talk through it all.”

“Do you not think our differences matter?”

“Of course, they do, but they’re nothing we can’t overcome,” I tried to tell her, but she seemed resigned to the fact that they were insurmountable.

“What do you even see in me, outside of the obvious?”

“The obvious is your heart, Lulu. I see the love you have for your community, your children, and even an ex-husband who doesn’t deserve an ounce of it.”

“I don’t love him,” she swore, but I still disagreed.

“You do, and it was evident in the way you cared for him after I had struck him. It’s to be expected though because the two of you shared a life together. You have children together. It doesn’t mean you are forever indebted to him, though.” I cradled her tighter against me, but tipped her chin up so she would have to look at me. “You have every right to move on with your life, Lulu. He has already done so.”

She stayed silent for a few seconds, before stroking my chin. “You and I are just too different. I mean, you’re thirteen years younger than me, for fuck’s sake. You’re also an all-star quarterback at the height of your career. You should be enjoying your success. Should be sowing your wild oats, or whatever men call it these?—”

“I’ve had sex with numerous women, more than I can count, and some whose names I can’t even remember. I might be younger than you, but age is nothing but a number when it all comes down to it.”

“It’s much more. It’s?—”

“It’s a cop-out. Yes, you’re older and you have children, but it doesn’t make me want you any less. In all the years and women I’ve been with, no one has ever made me feel what I feel when I’m with you. If you think that I haven’t also tried to convince myself that it’s just sex, or some kind of thrill that will go away, then you’re wrong. I have, but I can’t convince myself to believe something I know is a lie.”

“We barely even know each other,” she said, and although her logic held merit, the heart rarely did.

“I’ve known you for over a decade. We?—”

“You saw me at parties, but nothing more. I..” She grew silent as she was unable to even come up with something to defend her position. I got it. I truly did, but I wanted to stop lying to myself, and that meant I would need to make her stop lying to herself, too.

“I don’t know when this all happened, only that it has. Since we’ve gotten to know each other better, I feel at ease with you. There’s something here if only you would stop fighting it. Tell me that you don’t feel anything for me, and I’ll leave.”

She closed her eyes as I studied her face. I didn’t know for sure what was going through that pretty head of hers, but I didn’t care. I only needed to convince her to give us a chance. Give me a chance. Finally, she opened her eyes and spoke. “I do feel something for you. How could I not? I mean... you’re you, but I know how this will end already, and coming out of a contentious divorce, I’m not sure I can put myself through that again.”

“My QB coach once gave me some sage advice which I think fits here. It’d been given after I’d thrown two interceptions in back to back plays. He told me that if I ever wanted to move forward, I had to forget the past. I needed to get those mistakes out of my head, or else I would be doomed to repeat them. I thought he had been blowing smoke up my ass, so I had ignored him. The very next possession, I thought about the last throw of mine, and I ended up throwing another pick.”

“I don’t see what has to do with us, and?—”

“If you automatically assume every relationship will fail because your last one did, you’ll end up fearful and alone. Your marriage to Cade represents to you what those interceptions did to me. You can’t build a future when rooted in the past.”

“I don’t want to get hurt again,” she told me.

“I know, Lulu. And God knows I would never intentionally hurt you. Can I promise you that it will never happen? No! What I can promise is that I would never betray you the way that he did.”

“How can you be so sure? If someone younger... prettier... and with far less baggage came along, you would leave me in a heart?—”

“Do you know where I was headed after I left the party?” When she shook her head, I pressed my forehead to hers. “I was on my way to a club where a group of hot women were being entertained by my friends. I know that I can promise you I won’t betray you in that way because as soon as you messaged me, I reversed course and came straight here. I didn’t want, nor need, those women. I only want and need you. If you would stop fighting what’s happening here, you would see that you only need me, too.”

That was all I needed to say before I picked Lulu up, then carried her into her bedroom. From there, I tried my best to back those words up.

Now a few nights had passed since that conversation where I believed I managed to get through to her, although I still had no idea what the hell this was that we had going on. And more importantly, I still didn’t know when it had happened. I was losing my mind which was why I had asked Daxon to come over. I knew if anyone could help me make sense of all of this without judgment, it would be him. I hated that I felt as if I couldn’t talk to Callum or Gabriel, but they were insistent that I was making a mistake. They could be right, but I had to see this through.

I heard the chime of the bell, and got up to answer the door. As expected, it was Daxon, and he had a six pack of craft beer which had been made locally on the south side of the city. “You sounded like hell, so I brought reinforcements.”

“Thanks, man,” I told him, then grabbed one of the bottles. After removing the top, I moved to my leather sectional and took a seat. Daxon grabbed a beer too, but he chose to sit down on one of the matching chairs. I suddenly got the impression that I was in a therapy session of sorts. “This isn’t a professional visit—" I started to tell him until he chuckled.

“No, you needed a friendly shoulder. Feel free to talk or not talk. That is fine, too.”

I narrowed my eyes at my friend, but finally decided I did need a friend at the moment, and he was the most level-headed of us all. “I know you’ll probably judge me after you hear what I have to tell you, but...”

“Whatever it is, just spit it out, Noah.”

“I’ve met someone.”

“That’s great. Who is she? Anyone we know?”

Bracing myself for his reaction, I answered truthfully. “Yes. The woman I have been seeing is Lucy Davis.”

“Lulu, like Cade’s Lulu?”

I growled. “No. Lulu, like my Lulu. That bastard did nothing but lie and cheat on her the entire time they were together. You and I both know they’d divorced. Hell, you were the one to tell me about it.”

“Yes, but?—”

“I’ve been seeing her for weeks now, and I think I’ve fallen in love with her.”

“Wow,” was all he said, withholding judgment which I appreciated. “Have you two.. ahh...”

I smirked having read his eyes.

“Yes, and it’s not just that. I can’t really explain when it happened, or even how, but I think about her all the time. There’s not a moment that goes by when I don’t want to see her... talk to her... be with her.... be inside of her... I’ve lost all interest in other women, and I already consider her as mine.”

“Interesting.” I was about to ask him what he meant by that, but he continued before I could. “Does she feel the same way about you?”

“She likes me a lot, and wants to be with me, but she is still hung up over what Cade did to her.”

“That’s understandable. The two were married for over fifteen years, and they have three kids together. The ink is barely dry on their divorce papers, Noah. How is she supposed to feel? It’s not unreasonable to believe she is a little gun shy about jumping into a new relationship.”

“God, I hate when you make sense.” Daxon chuckled at that, and started drinking his beer. I nursed my bottle in my hand as I sighed. “I don’t want to pressure her.”

“Then don’t, Noah. I’m not saying to ignore your own feelings, or to stop seeing her. I’m only saying to give her time to figure things out in her head. Women are remarkable creatures, and very resilient ones. You’re a great guy. Everyone knows that which is why all these women want to be with you. It’s more than being a famous football star, or a Titan. You’re very grounded, and mature beyond your years.”

“You make me sound like such a bore.”

“On the contrary, it makes you even more appealing to the opposite sex. If Lulu doesn’t already know what a great catch you are, then she will, but in time ,” he told me, placing extra emphasis on the last two words.

“What do you suggest that I do?”

“I can’t tell you that,” he replied, but then set his beer down as he received a text message. Before looking at it, he stared straight at me. “All I can do is ask that you remember a breakup is still an ending, and there is a grieving process. I would be there for her, but I wouldn’t put any pressure or impossible expectations on her. I mean... who knows? You could get to know her better and find out this is merely some temporary infatuation. Or you could find that it is exactly what you’re thinking it is right now. If that is the case, and she feels the same, the two of you will know.”

“Thanks,” I responded.

“Lulu, though. Huh?” My friend chuckled, then looked down at his phone. “Do you mind if I make a phone call?”

I shook my head, even though I wanted to know what he found so funny. I would ask him later. Standing up, I walked to the kitchen, finished my beer, then tossed the bottle in the garbage. I looked over at my friend once or twice as he paced back and forth. I was assuming by his concerned expression that it was a patient, but I certainly wouldn’t pry. Finally, when Daxon disconnected the call, I rejoined him.

“A patient of mine is having a meltdown, so I need to go. Was this all you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah,” I told him, then took the half of beer he handed back to me. “I think I just needed to see things from her perspective. Thanks for setting me straight.”

“Anytime, Noah. Enjoy the rest of those beers. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Be careful,” I told him, then shook my head at how fatherly I sounded at that moment. You’re very grounded, and mature beyond your years. I flipped off his retreating backside, even though I knew Daxon was right.