15. Chapter 15
The town hall with the colonists went better than Dare had hoped. With Chance by his side, the Mindset One made his announcement, and was met by a ”so what” attitude from the majority of those present. Some had questions about his abilities, but none questioned his integrity. Chance shared his rating, and how Dare had touched him to discover it, emphasizing the gentleness of the empath”s brush against his mind. The meeting broke up after that, with only a few coming up to ask more questions or to say they were happy to have two Mindsets.
As Dare walked back to the Gambit, he was struck by how he had been accepted despite being a One. That was a heretofore unknown emotion for him, and it made him wonder how he”d managed for so long, hiding his gift. Shrugging, he shook his head. At least he no longer needed to do that. He was free, and with that freedom came a sense of hope.
Riis” decision to hook Dare up with one of the crew became an exercise in saying ”no”. The assistant would corner Dare at dinner or lunch, then offer to introduce him to a line cook in the mess, or an apprentice engineer. Sometimes he had photos of them, and he seemed to know everyone he suggested disturbingly well.
Dare always politely refused the offers, trying to be thoughtful of the work Riis was putting into this, but finally he snapped.
”Riis, you”ve got to stop trying to hook me up. I”m a Mindset. I can”t just…leap on someone without knowing them more first. The lovers I”ve had have all been empaths. I know how to navigate that situation. It would be totally different with someone who can”t mentally reach out to me.”
Riis frowned, looking upset. ”Alright, I know I”ve been coming on hard, pun intended, with this. I just don”t want you to be alone, Dare. You”re a good guy, and you deserve someone to care about you.”
The empath reached out, laying his hand over Riis”. ”Look, I appreciate that. You know I do. It”s just that I”m interested in someone right now and they”re not into me, okay? I don”t even know if he likes guys. It”s…complicated.”
Riis gave him an avid look, and the Mindset could almost see the wheels turning in his head. Before he could tell him not to make guesses, the younger man leaned in, whispering, ”It”s Jason Stravetta, isn”t it? He”s hot, but are you crazy?”
Dare resisted the desire to bang his head on ”their” table in the mess, then sighed loudly. ”Are you sure you don”t have some kind of latent mind gift? Gaia on a carousel, you”re freaking me out. If you say anything to him, I”ll turn you into a frog, and let you loose in the bio garden.”
Riis” grin faltered. ”You wouldn”t do…you can”t do that, can you?
Dare rubbed his face hard with both hands, then stared at his friend. ”Of course, I can”t! I”m an empath, not a warlock. I could make you think you”re a frog, but I won”t. Just promise me you won”t talk to him or say anything about this to anyone. That means Mike and everyone you know.”
Riis nodded, his smile returning. ”How can I help you if you won”t…okay, calm down. I promise I won”t say anything to anyone, including your scary crush. Thanks for not making me act like a frog, you crazy empath.”
The ”crazy” empath stared at him for a moment, then relaxed. ”I accept your promise. Considering my unwilling revelation, please lay off the blind dates. I”m just not up to managing any of those now, or probably ever.” Riis nodded, not meeting his eyes. ”I shouldn”t have threatened you. I”m sorry. I”d never hurt you on purpose.”
The assistant nodded, looking over at him. ”I deserved it. You may have noticed that I get carried away. Sometimes a well-phrased threat makes me stop. I appreciate the apology, even though I think it”s all on me.”
”No, I take responsibility for making a threat, even if it was spurious. I feel relaxed around you because you”re my friend. That doesn”t give me the license to scare you into doing what I want. Maybe I should tell the captain of my lapse.”
Riis groaned. ”Oh, Gods, don”t do that. He”d want to see how I act as a frog, and I”m not up for that.”
The friends grinned at each other. Then the younger man told Dare of his last date with his current boyfriend, keeping it light for the empath.
Harmony restored; they finished their meal.
Dare had no time to focus on his unrequited whatever it was. The next day, the captain sent an announcement to each com screen, stating there would be an unscheduled shutdown of the trans-ion drive because of an anomaly engineering had found in its programming. Anyone on the upper decks would be moved to the crew deck to protect them from increased radiation while the ship was stationary for repairs. The showers were for infirmary use only, and personnel would be issued clean wipes to use in the interim. All water was to be conserved rigorously and rationing of it would be put in place. Those not on duty were expected to stay in their quarters to reduce the amount of oxygen used. These prohibitions applied to both the crew and colony decks. The shut down and deceleration would occur in thirty-six hours with a klaxon sounding when it began, at approximately fifteen hundred hours the following day.
The captain ended the message, assuring that the anomaly was correctable and they would be back to their regular speed within a week, two at the outside. Everyone”s cooperation was appreciated. Any questions should be directed to Riis Sorenson to be brought to the captain.
Dare finished reading the message with mixed feelings. He wasn”t afraid, but he was concerned about those that would be. He was also glad he’d taken a shower last night. Today and tomorrow were going to a roundabout of chaos. The empath dressed quickly, went to the mess for a fast meal, and met his first client. There was no time to waste.
The Mindset saw every one of his clients that day, all of them deciding to put their therapy on hold until they were running full speed again. Dare agreed, making sure they knew he was available if needed. Checking in with the colony deck, he found them busy winding up what needed to be done before the shutdown. None seemed frightened, and Dare supposed that deciding to take a two-year trip into the unknown made sure those that did so had a high fear tolerance. He saw Chance and gave him additional assignments to do and asked him to cancel their appointment to sit in on a therapy session with Becca. That could wait until later. The empath would not be visiting the colony until the shutdown was over, unless he was called to help.
When he returned to his own deck, he saw Jason with Lewis and Derek, apparently moving Jason into a berth a few doors away from him. Jason was turned away and didn”t see him, although Lewis nodded in his direction. Dare ducked into his own room quickly, taking a deep breath.
He”d examined his interest in Jason Stravetta, and still had no idea why he was attracted. From the moment Jason came at him in the infirmary, he felt something despite the anger the other man was projecting. He”d wanted to help him, but it was more than that. Although Stravetta had a reputation of being a devil, he had the face of an angel. Dare liked he was older and took care of his body, no matter what he was dealing with. Moving to his couch, the young man sat, determined to work his way to the bottom of his feelings, without thinking about how Stravetta looked.
The empath had been rigorous in avoiding the man, knowing he would bring trouble with him. When Jason arrived at his door ostensibly to ”thank” him, he felt nothing but his own shields until he reached out, stopping the older man from trying to touch him by taking his hand in his. At that moment, with that touch, something sparked in him. Yes, he felt Jason”s anger, his hurt, and his growing fear, but there was so much more that called to him. His pride in the service he”d given to the world, his longing for family, his sadness for what and who had been lost. Dare knew then what drew him to this man.
Jason sought exactly what Dare did, and held his softer feelings under strict control, allowing only his anger to show. Dare knew he hid his as well, although he did not use anger to mask his feelings. Dare used his position of Mindset to keep a barrier between himself and others. No one questioned him when he did, thinking that was who he was. Despite knowing the feelings of others, Dare had a vast reservoir of emotion within himself, carefully tucked away to protect himself, and perhaps others. He shook his head, sighing. Knowing this changed nothing. He”d frightened Jason deliberately at their last meeting. He doubted the man would forgive that or think of him as anything other than a Mindset One, capable of harm.
Dare leaned back, tilting his head up to stare at the ceiling of his berth. Just because he felt that he and Jason were pieces of the same puzzle didn”t mean they would ever come together to finish it. Smiling ruefully, he bowed his head. The only thing he was sure of was the knowledge that he would never have Jason as a client. If he was, they could never have a relationship. He would leave that door open just in case a miracle came visiting. Or maybe a unicorn.