29. Astrid
twenty-nine
Astrid
Two Weeks Later
I love Brennan’s family.
They’re so different from mine.
I cut ties with mine after that horrible brunch. I’ve not made a big deal about it but I’m sick of clinging to hope I’ll find a way to fit into my family’s world. Witnessing how my mom treated Brennan made me realize a truth I’d been avoiding for years. Something’s wrong with them.
They’ll never see me for who I am. Only for who I’m not.
I’m tired of the dismissive comments about my work or the cold, passive-aggressive digs about my ambition. It’s exhausting tiptoeing across glass during every single interaction. Feeling like I’m one wrong step away from being verbally annihilated.
I’ve spent years trying to earn approval that’s always out of reach. That morning, something snapped inside me.
I realized, I’m done.
Sure, it hurts, more than I want to admit, but there’s also a strange sense of relief. Like I’ve finally put down a heavy weight I’ve been carrying around for way too long. Being a part of the McGloughlin family dinners made me realize it’s time to stop fighting for a place where I’ll never truly belong.
Here, I fit in.
There, I never will.
Found family can be infinitely more supportive than your real one.
Tonight, everyone’s gathered around the McGloughlin dinner table to celebrate Brennan’s birthday. They always make me feel like I’m part of something solid. They don’t break no matter what the world throws at them, and the McGloughlin’s have been through a lot.
It’s beautiful.
Hopefully Brennan and I will have kids of our own someday and continue the tradition.
As far as tonight goes, Maureen’s outdone herself, as usual. The roast beef tenderloin is a perfect medium rare. It practically melts in my mouth. There’s buttery colcannon with a hint of cabbage, mashed carrots and parsnips, and fresh dinner rolls, still warm from the oven.
I savor every bite, thrilled that Brennan, who’s sitting at the head of the table, looks happier than I’ve seen him in weeks. Being around his people gives him comfort.
As usual, the conversation is lively, jumping from topic to topic, but inevitably it circles back to the lawsuit. Brennan’s still in the trenches, fighting for Reuniverse and I’m supporting him as much as possible. As much as it stresses him out, he seems eager to talk about it. To get his family’s take on things. All night he’s gushed about how I’ve been handling everything, his eyes light up when he talks about the strategies I’ve helped devise for the team.
“You guys have no idea how much Astrid’s help has meant,” he practically swells with pride. “She’s been relentless. I mean, I’m the one with the lawyers, but she can read people like a book—and I put myself in that category. I’d probably be a mess if it wasn’t for her.”
My cheeks heat up when everyone looks at me, though I can’t help but smile. It’s nice to be appreciated in front of his family. “I’m doing what I can.”
“Thank you for looking out for our Brennan,” Connor chimes in. “This whole thing sounds like a nightmare. Good on you, Astrid.”
“Nightmare’s an understatement.” Brennan shakes his head solemnly and takes my hand. “If anyone’s going to drag me through it, it’s this one. Enough about me. What’s the haps with everyone else?”
Cillian leans back in his chair. “While you’re wrestling with your tech empire, I’m still knee-deep in the Bright Shipping project. The buildout of the new headquarters is coming along, and I couldn’t have done it without Da.” He glances over at Rory lovingly. “It’s the biggest job I’ve ever managed, and I’m lucky to have him by my side. Would’ve been a mess without his help.”
Rory’s eyes sheen with quiet pride. “You’re doing great, son. It’s been good to be back on site.”
Everyone’s been keeping an eye on Cillian, who’s been sober for a few months, so the positive update is welcome. I can tell he’s trying to keep things light, but there’s a lot going on. When he mentions Bright Shipping, I noticed his gaze drift off to the middle of the table. His focus a little too intense, like he’s trying to avoid thinking about the woman who shattered his heart.
And, as I watch Rory smile at Cillian, there’s a flicker of something bittersweet. It’s taken him years to rebuild trust. Each of Brennan’s brothers has a complicated relationship with their father, though now there’s a kind of unspoken truce. He shows up, is remorseful and does better each and every day. And, that means something.
It makes me wish my own parents would change, though I’m not holding my breath. If they want me back in their lives, they’ll have to make the effort for a while. I’ve tried enough times.
Connor clears his throat, cutting through the thick silence. “So, twins. Everything okay in the band, these days? You two getting ready for the tour?”
Fireball is going on the road with LTZ for a bit, which is exciting in and of itself.
Liam, who is sitting next to me, nods and smiles but there’s a glint of something edgy behind it. He glances at Padraig, who looks down at his plate with a neutral expression. “Of course we’re gearing up for our show on New Year’s Eve.”
“You all are expected to come.” Padraig’s enthusiasm isn’t quite the same, but he’s clearly trying to appease his brother. Ever since I met them, there’s been tension. Mostly about their personal lives, from what I can gather. “It’s gonna be huge.”
Connor takes his wife Ronni’s hand. “It’s been a while since we’ve toured together. With the success of our new album we decided to go big. Logistics with everyone’s schedule took a while to figure out, but it’ll be fun to be on the road again.”
“Count us in.” Brennan doesn’t hesitate. “We’ll be there.”
I have to suppress a verbal squee. Less than Zero is legendary and I’ve never seen them live.
“Seamus, you’ll make it, yeah?” Connor nods to his youngest brother.
I notice Seamus’s cheeks flush slightly as he looks up. “Uh, yeah, if I’m not on call.” There’s a flash of something in his eyes and I can’t help but wonder what, beside work, is keeping him occupied. “It’s not in my control because my boss is in the middle of a malpractice lawsuit.”
“Sure, we understand,” Liam teases as he waggles his eyebrows at Padraig.
Seamus rolls his eyes, but doesn’t play into it. I catch Brennan’s knowing look with Cillian and it piques my curiosity. I love witnessing the dynamic between the brothers.
I swear, this family could have its own reality show. They’re that entertaining.
Maureen finally brings out the cake, a massive, dark-chocolate confection from Deep Sea Sugar and Salt that I ordered because Brennan adores their cakes. It’s rich, decadent, and exactly the kind of thing he loves. But as soon as Maureen slices into it, I see her pause, her nose twitching slightly.
“Is that…beer?” She glances at me with a raised eyebrow.
My stomach drops. Oh God . How thoughtless. It didn’t even occur to me when I ordered it. The cake’s soaked in a porter beer syrup. I’m a moron.
“Oh no.” I stand up quickly, my face burning. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think…”
Cillian and Rory exchange a glance, and for a moment I brace myself, expecting a lecture or, at least, a sharp comment. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Rory is gracious.
“It’s okay, lass,” he says softly in his Irish lilt. “You didn’t mean it.”
I blink, surprised at the warmth in his voice. “Yes, but I can fix it. I’ll run out and grab something else.”
Maureen stops me, placing a hand on my arm. “No need, love. I’ve got ice cream in the freezer. It’ll be grand. And Brennan and the rest of us will still get to eat this delicious cake.”
She winks at me and the tension I hadn’t realized I was holding eases.
The rest of the evening passes in a blur of laughter, teasing, and warmth. After dinner, I end up in the living room sprawled on the floor with Ronni and the kids. The boys are trying to teach their little sister some board game that involves a lot of giggling, not much actual strategy.
They’re adorable, and I can’t help but feel a pang of longing as I watch them. I’m at the age where I better get moving if I want my own family. The lawsuit’s put a damper on Brennan and I discussing our future plans. When Teagan crawls into my lap and starts showing me her doll, I’m pretty sure my heart melts on the spot.
“Careful with that little beauty. You’re gonna get ideas.” Ronni nudges me with her elbow. “Next thing you know, you’ll be pregnant with a little McGloughlin of your own.”
My laugh comes out a bit shaky. “Would that be so bad? I mean, eventually.”
Ronni tilts her head, studying me. “Have you talked to Brennan about it?”
“Yeah. We’ve talked about getting married,” I admit, glancing toward the kitchen where I can hear him laughing with Connor and Seamus. “But with everything going on with his company, everything’s essentially on hold.”
“He loves you, I see it in the way he can’t take his eyes off you.” Ronni leans in and whispers, “When the McGloughlin brothers love, there’s nothing else like it. Connor was so patient with me and look at us now.”
“I love Brennan so much.” The words come out easily. “I want a future with him. A real one where we get married and have kids. Truthfully, the longer this drags out, I’m scared but don’t want to freak him out. I worry CognifyAI is going to get in the way.”
Ronni gives me a sympathetic look. “Have faith, Astrid. You’ll both figure it out. We had some serious obstacles and love will find a way.”
She would know. Connor and Ronni had a hellish journey to get to their happily ever after. It doesn’t loosen the knot in my chest, however.
I know what’s at stake. Brennan’s been fighting hard to keep Reuniverse separate from CognifyAI, but the lawsuit drags on. He’s spent close to three hundred thousand dollars in legal fees. They’re trying to break him through his pocketbook and it may be working.
Despite my encouragement, he’s wearing down, bit by bit. It’s a conundrum. If he signs up for the golden handcuffs they’re offering, he’ll stay in Palo Alto for at least five years and Reuniverse will be owned by CognifyAI. I’ll get a hefty payout, but we won’t live in the same city.
Because, I can’t exactly start over there. It would take years to build up my clientele in California. No matter what happens, I’ll be staying in Seattle.
I want to believe we’re strong enough to handle it, but I’m not naive. It’s not about distance. It’s about what we both want out of life, and whether our paths will still align when all of this is over.
Brennan catches my eye from across the room, and he literally beams at me. Like I’m his entire world.
I know how he feels, and I remember no matter what happens, I’ll fight for us.
Sometimes you have to hold on to what matters.
Even when circumstances try to pull it out of your grasp.