Darkest Deception (Deception Series)

23

It’s May, mid spring. It’s Aurora’s birthday.

She got married last year, right after her birthday. It’s been a year now.

I stand in front of Remo’s house, gazing up at the mansion that puts the Torre mansion to shame. It doesn’t feel cold, like my house. It doesn’t look intimidating, like it might swallow you when you step inside.

It looks lively, warm, and inviting.

Peering past the gates, I can see cars lined up, and if I know my sister, I know she will have a birthday party at home with her friends.

My hands juggle the box I am holding, a small present for my sister, as longing wraps around my heart. I’ve bought her a present every year. Standing out here for the past thirty minutes is proof enough that I will not be giving this one to her either.

I’m proud of who she is now. Proud that she managed to come out the same person she always was.

Opening the passenger door of my car, I place the gift back inside and shut the door before looking back up at the mansion. The driveway leads up to the front door of the house, but it’s caged with a gate and a buzzer next to it. Security lines the house’s perimeter.

Of course, Remo has the best security around his home. He is the centre of the socialite circle. It’s exactly why Dad wanted Aurora married to him.

He didn’t want me married to Remo in case he didn’t let me work after the marriage, and Dad needed me to help him with running Glamorous, and then that night, at the dinner when I was supposed to win him over, he requested to be tied to Aurora.

And what Remo wants, he gets. That man rules London with an iron fist and silent looks.

Dad granted him his wish, and I sagged in relief only to realise my younger sister would be at the mercy of the cold, ruthless man.

I tried to get her to work for Dad so I could look after her that way. I wanted her to know she had a safety net with me, but she was stubborn and wanted to do things her way. I let her be.

Whenever Dad visited her events, went to her office, I trailed behind to make sure he didn’t do anything to her, played right into his act while keeping an eye out for Aurora.

I did so much for her, and I don’t expect her to forgive me, but at least, she is happy.

“I miss you,” I whisper into the night, watching the lights in the house, the cold night’s wind ruffling my hair.

I tuck it behind my ear, my eyes dropping to my lap as I sit on the edge of the road. It’s secluded, hidden from the cars driving down the road.

“I got you a beautiful pink diamond necklace. It has smaller diamonds surrounding it. It will look absolutely beautiful on you. It’s your favourite colour too, pink,” I whisper, trying to fill the void in my chest.

“You are turning thirty, and soon I will be thirty-one. How crazy has life been? It’s moving so fast that your gifts are piling in my closet.” A laugh slips out of me at a memory of us.

“Remember when you wanted to go out to this one fashion show because of how obsessed you were with them? I had to use Dad’s name to get us both tickets. We kept running away from photographers in the show to avoid getting recognised, and we kept giggling about it.” I shake my head, my lips pulling into a faint smile.

“I made almost all your wishes come true just to see you smile.” My smile falls, and darkness seeps through me.

“And then a few years later, I lost it all the minute I pushed you away.” I clear my throat, looking at my well-manicured nails, the nude colour clean and fresh.

“Are you talking to yourself?”

I jump up, a yelp leaving my lips. I look up and see someone walking towards me. They are smoking but drop the cigarette to the ground and step over the butt.

He takes one step closer, and my mouth drops open as I try to form an excuse as to why I am here.

Then I notice Blaze sitting on his shoulder, tilting his head, watching me.

“Would you look at that? Ambrose is now going crazy,” Helia muses, slowly bending down and sitting next to me as if we are at some park and he wants to chat with an old pal.

I go to get up, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment, but Helia’s hand stops me.

He is still looking forward, his eyes not moving away from Remo’s house.

“Stay.”

Something about it pulls at my heart. I feel it snatch my safety and yet… I don’t want to leave.

So I stay.

A minute of silence passes between us. I feel Helia’s hot, unwavering gaze on the side of my face, but I don’t look at him, too busy trying to keep myself from giving him any ammunition against me.

He shouldn’t want to be here with me.

He should hate me.

Hate me, Helia.

Hate me so I don’t hope for anything.

You have to hate me.

“Why don’t you give it to her?” His voice is soft, quiet.

I huff out a small laugh. “Okay. Sure. Great idea.”

“So you prefer getting her a gift and then not giving it to her? What will you do with it, then?” he asks.

I’m silent, the gusts of wind ruffling my hair on the quiet street.

“I think I will send it to Santa. Make use of it, you know?”

The look I receive as an answer should be criminal. Helia looks annoyed by my pathetic attempt at a joke.

“Jokes don’t work. Okay…” I whisper, turning my head back to save myself the embarrassment.

“Never try that again.” He huffs.

Blaze turns to look at him, tilting his head before he looks at me.

“Why a crow?”

Helia’s eyes narrow. I think I am giving him whiplash with the sudden changes in topic.

“Why not?” He shrugs, reaching up to run a finger down Blaze’s back. Blaze nuzzles Helia with his head and gives a soft caw. My heart instantly melts.

“I would have never expected you to have a pet, never mind a crow.”

Helia quietly chuckles, grasping my attention. I just can’t seem to look away from him.

“Why aren’t you there? With them?”

He looks down at the pavement under our feet, not moving or speaking for a couple of seconds. I almost give up waiting for an answer. He glances up at me, the wind stronger, ruffling his black hair into a mess.

His broad shoulders bump mine every once in a while. I wonder if he’d be able to lift me with one hand. That thought never crossed my mind until today.

“I stepped out for a smoke break, then I found a sad little fox outside.” His answer prods at my heart, demanding answers that I will never be able to give.

His perspective of me, a sad girl sitting on the pavement with a gift in her hand, a solemn look on her face, creates an ache inside of me. I have never been perceived as a sad, lost girl.

I find myself giving in and whisper, “Sad?”

I’m not sad. I’m not weak.

They should be the least likely words used to describe me. The last time someone called me that, I lost so much of me that I still haven’t recovered. Sometimes I feel like a broken glass vase that is still missing small, shattered pieces that will never be found.

I feel empty and forever will.

I will bear it and keep it tucked away. No one will witness this missing part of me.

“I didn’t even know it was you until I recognised this long blond hair.” He reaches out and gently tucks a loose stand of hair behind my ear, like he has done before. And like the previous few times, his eyes snap to my earrings, though I am not sure why.

Then his gaze drops to my wrist, to my fingers.

He slowly leans closer, his fingers brushing my hair off my shoulder, and when his eyes land on my emerald diamond necklace, they soften somehow. The look on Helia’s face is similar to how Remo looks at Aurora, when his shoulder drops a fraction and his hand instinctively reaches out to her.

Looking into Helia’s eyes feels like peeking into a world that is bleak, dark, and powerful. It feels like stepping into a silent place, where even one noise would awaken a beast that hunts and kills to clench its thirst.

And yet, it also feels like there is a tree within that world that provides warmth and comfort. Like that beast will sit and watch you silently as you take your rest.

It feels comforting to be watched by a beast.

“Why do you hate me?” The questions falls out, and I immediately want to slap myself. “Never mind. I’m just going to walk into a ditch and drop dead,” I mutter, turning away from him.

His hand falls.

“I don’t want the answer.” Deep in my heart, I fear the answer, and I fear what it may do to my heart.

Getting off the pavement, I walk away from him. There is no need for goodbyes; we aren’t close like that.

Then what was that moment in his office that rainy day?

What was that kiss you keep remembering?

Shaking my head at my own thoughts, I swallow, not looking at the Cainn mansion in case any tears escape. If he saw, Helia may destroy whatever is left of me.

“Ambrose.” The thumping of shoes on the pavement and the swift grip on my arm that turns me around has my stomach dropping in fear.

I stand frozen. Helia takes a deep breath in before letting it out.

I wait.

The cold wind pierces my skin, and my hair flies out of my face, allowing more wind to freeze my face.

His green eyes focus on me with such intensity and emotion that my stomach churns. I finally manage to take in a few deep breaths, then we start to walk.

Pulling my jacket’s zipper up, I dig my chin into its collar, seeking warmth.

He keeps looking at me like he is holding something in him and it’s painful for him to speak about it.

His jaw tics as his hands clench into fists at his side.

His eyes look pained. He looks like he is trembling, his whole being fracturing.

“Helia—”

“Go home. Cry your tears in your bed.”

I flinch.

Why did that hurt me?

Was I truly waiting for something kind from him?

Am I deluding myself again?