26
If you’d told me I would be in this position a couple of months ago, I would have laughed in your face. I would have cursed you out for daring to even imagine Helia’s fingers inside of me while I sat in Aurora’s home.
With my bottom lip trapped between my teeth and my breath falling in short pants, I can’t do anything but focus on the pleasurable ride Helia is giving me.
With each ruthless pump, I can feel him branding me. Soft sighs fall on my shoulder from his lips.
Everyone is too engrossed in the movie that is gripping their throats to notice or even look back. Even if one of them knew what was going on, I wouldn’t know, too blinded by pleasure.
My hand grips Helia’s muscled arm. It’s probably going to leave nail marks.
“Fuck. Seeing this look on your face makes me weak in my knees, Ambrose,” Helia grumbles.
He’s fucking me so hard and fast that I am breathless, unable to intake even a simple breath.
“Give it to me, Ambrose.”
I break apart, shutting my eyes tightly, and pressing my lips together. I collapse, heaving. His fingers slip from my body, leaving me feeling cold and empty. My whole being gravitates towards him.
“Helia.” My head falls back against the sofa, my eyes shut.
I lost my battle.
I lost my control, my composure, and my hold on my tightly caged heart.
A finger softly traces my cheek, but I don’t want to open my eyes and face reality. Of what I have done and exactly what this means.
I can’t do this.
Getting up from the sofa, I walk out of the living room and into the bathroom next to the kitchen.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I stare at myself in the mirror. My dirty brown eyes are wide in horror as my chest recovers from being deprived of oxygen.
“What have I done? What have I fucking done?” I shake my head, walking back and forth in the massive bathroom.
How will I walk out?
What will I do? How will I face him after this?
Punching the marble counter, I try to focus on the pain, on the searing prickles up my arm.
Shutting my eyes, I take a deep breath, shaking my arms and my head, erasing all thoughts.
I agreed to this. I accepted it. I wanted it.
I shouldn’t be ashamed. I shouldn’t be insecure about wanting something natural.
I am who I am.
I am firm in my decision. Whatever happens from here on out, I will just follow along. I will bend it to my will if it goes against my morals.
When I return to the living room, the movie is paused, and everyone is in the kitchen.
“Ambrose, your pizza is ready. It looks good.” Venezia points to the tray with my pizza.
“Isabella, our maid, was kind enough to take them out or else they would have been burnt by now.” Aurora laughs, shaking her head.
She hands one pizza cutter to Kamari and the other to Venezi,a who hands it to me when I get there. As soon as my eyes lift from the pizza cutter, they connect with Helia’s dark ones.
He’s standing there with a fucking smirk on his face.
My hand tightens around the cutter.
It’s like a push and pull war.
He knows that I am at war with myself over what has happened. He knows it. His eyes drop to my red knuckles, then they rise to the crook of my neck, where he licked, where his soft lips were pressed, and then his jaw tics, though I can clearly see it isn’t in anger.
Him leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, a dark smile playing at his lips while he watches me approach him, proves to me that he is enjoying this far more than me. When I reach him, his broad chest instantly covers me, guarding me from everyone else.
“How do you like the pizza?” he asks me casually.
I scowl at him, making him chuckle. It makes me freeze in place to soak it in. His genuine smile, his eyes a forest at sunset, his hair a starless night. Helia is a masterpiece.
“I mean, I didn’t put any toppings on it for your boring self. Do you not see me sacrificing my dinner for you?” He flutters his lashes at me, making my lips twitch into a smile, but I shut it down quickly.
“Everyone likes cheese,” I state like it’s a fact, jutting my chin out.
We are both toying around the subject of what has happened, speaking with our eyes while something entirely different comes out of our mouths.
Helia raises a brow.
“Again, no fighting.” Venezia comes in between us, pushing Helia and me away from each other.
“I love all kinds of pizza, but Aurora and Remo win.” She points over to their pizza. It’s round and has chicken and cheese for toppings.
I look at Kamari’s. It looks very messy with almost everything on it: chicken, black olives, jalapeno, and all you can think of.
And mine… looks bland.
“Now grab your pizzas, and let’s head back into the living room,” Venezia shouts and skips to the living room.
We all pile in together, back into our positions. The lights dim, and my heart starts to race, though the pizza plate in between me and Helia is sort of a barrier.
And we still haven’t talked about it.
About anything, and I don’t know if we will.
We should just ignore it.
Just like we did with the kiss.
Like the office night.
Like everything else.
It should be erased from existence.
The rest of the night, Helia keeps throwing heated glances at me, though he isn’t moving over to touch me. He’s teasing me with soft strokes and long looks that make me feel like I will fall apart if he doesn’t touch me again.
Having Helia’s eyes on me the whole night, every time I was scared in the movie, a soft touch from Helia would calm me knowing he is here. Despite the harshness that surrounds him, despite the danger and the havoc, he quietens my mind like no other.
I shouldn’t feel like this with him.
His eyes, they haunt me, warn me that he will kill me with his bare hands if he has to, and that doesn’t even begin to cover the psychotic tendencies he has. Pleasing people, a gentleman to others, all while hiding a psychopath personality under it all.
Helia is the definition of chaos.
Of the deadliest serpent.