40
When people speak of love, they talk about the sweetness of it. They talk about the flourishing of emotions and the way their lives have never been better.
If someone were to ask me what love meant for me, I would describe Helia. I would describe his darkness, his rough yet soft touch, his emerald eyes that hold such emotions that it wrenches out my own. His smiles bring warmth to my heart. I would talk about the small acts of kindness towards me despite his rough nature and everything he has given me.
I have lost my all to him.
I lost my soul, my heart, and my mind to Helia.
And I don’t ever want to have anything back.
Not because I think he deserves it, but because I know he will guard it all from the monsters of this world.
Even if he were to hate me now, if he doesn’t care and despises me, I know deep down, he would still keep everything I have given him safe.
I have lost my heart in this game of deception.
As soon as my eyes crack open, the first thing that floods my mind is Helia’s name and the hatred I saw in his eyes.
The heart monitor goes crazy when I lift my hand to my mouth, tears instantly filling my eyes. I have lost the battle against my mother, against fate.
“Ambrose?” My eyes snap to the side and see my mother.
“Who are you, and why are you here?”
Her face converts into a frown, her eyes going to the other side of my bed towards Aurora.
“What—” Mum starts.
“Why are you still here after destroying my life? What right do you have to be in this room right now?” I continue, my hands clenching at the blanket on me in the hospital bed.
“Ambrose.” I shake my head at Aurora, and her eyes bounce between Mum and me.
“No, Aurora, she’s ruined us before anyone else ever did. She gave us scars first, and Dad abused us while she did nothing to help.” I look away from my mother and fixed my gaze on the white ceiling.
Murmurs of the hospital and the noises of the machines slowly take over my mind, and I cannot help but feel the need to walk out of this hospital to wherever Helia is to tell him it wasn’t me. I want to drag my mother to his feet and force her to apologise to him for destroying his life.
“Mother, could you please leave?” Aurora’s soft voice travels across the room.
“Why would I leave? I am her mother. I have done everything to save you both. I have done so much, and yet this is how you treat me? After your father’s death, I have worked hard every day to help you live a comfortable life,” Mum says, her eyes switching between me and Aurora, not able to understand what she did wrong.
I let out a mocking laugh.
“That’s the thing, though. You thought you worked hard. You thought you did everything to save us and keep us safe, but if you just walked out of this bubble you created for yourself, you would see how much it was hurting us,” I say, keeping my eyes on the ceiling.
“You abused me. You raised your hand against me, the daughter you supposedly wanted to protect. You pushed away Aurora because you couldn’t handle the grief from the loss of your husband. Mind you, he was just as abusive, mentally and physically.”
Mum frowns, her lips twisting as she shakes her head, like she’s denying everything coming out of my mouth.
“Didn’t you? Are you going to deny it as well?”
She opens her mouth but shuts it.
“I hate you.” I spit out, turning away from her.
My eyes fall on Aurora, who has been looking at me this whole time.
Her hand grasps mine in a soft hold, her eyes watery as she gives me a shaky smile.
“It’s okay, Ambrose.” She squeezes my hand. “It’s okay to let her go. She hurt you too much. Put yourself first. You deserve happiness too.”
A tear drops onto my hand, and I squeeze back. “I’m sorry, Aurora.”
She shakes her head, silencing me. “It’s in the past. Please, recover so we can bring Helia back. You need to heal to fight for him.” She raises her brows, waiting for me to agree.
“You need to know that I didn’t do it, Aurora. I didn’t release those clips.”
She brings my hand up to her lips, kissing it as tears drip down her cheeks.
“I know, I believe you. Helia told me about you a lot when you weren’t around. He was the one warming my heart to you, Ambrose. He was the one who has been pushing me to give our relationship a go, the one to urge me to invite you over and help you connect with me again. He has done so much for you without you realising. It’s only fair I help you guys now.”
The heart monitor takes a dip before it rises at an incredible rate.
“What?”
She nods, a wide smile spreading on her face as she sits down at the chair next to my bed and goes into full detail about exactly how involved Helia has been in my life.
I didn’t even realise Mum left until a nurse walks in and checks on my injured foot and my vitals. She tells me I am good to go, but not put pressure on my feet for a week to allow it to heal. And I’ll have to regularly change the small bandage around my neck where the knife pierced the skin.
When I am in my bedroom again—it’s clean now—my eyes move over every surface. Not a single thing is out of place. Aurora is in the bathroom, running me a warm bath, and all I can think about right now is Helia in jail.
He left thinking I hated him and did this to him when he poured so much of himself into me.
I need to tell him before it’s too late.
Instead of fighting my case for my company and using this as an advantage to get it back, I will be fighting for him instead.
The thing is that he had more than enough time to plunge that knife inside of me. He could have done without a second thought, but he didn’t. I saw him hesitate. I saw his eyes well up with tears, and I saw the love for me fight through the anger and betrayal.
I need to hear it from him that he doesn’t despise me.
I won’t be able to live with myself if he did.
“It’s done. Ready to go in?” Aurora walks out of the bathroom, a messy bun on her head, a pastel-pink coloured sweater on top of a white skirt, and flats on her feet.
She smiles at me as I try to get up, rushing to me and helping me limp to the bathroom.
“I’ll leave you to change and get in. If you need help, just give me a shout. I will be right outside.”
I nod, biting my lip, and watch her walk away.
How can I keep crying when, once upon a time, I never once shed a tear?
The only person who has brought every single light back into my life isn’t even here to witness it. The one person who actually bothered to get to know me, to fight against me and keep me on my toes, isn’t here to even see that I love him with all my heart.
It feels like my love for him is as easy as water falling from a cup. Simple. Fast.
I don’t care about his past. All I want is him.
So before I fell asleep that night, I decided to set everything right in the morning.
The next two days, Aurora sleeps with me on my bed. Remo drops by a couple of times, not bothering to walk inside the house at all. Aurora stays here and takes care of me, and I watch her the whole time.
I was supposed to do that for her. To get her trust and love back, and instead, I am in need of her.
Mum hasn’t visited. I don’t know of her whereabouts yet. The maids around the house still work, security detail still switch their schedules.
Everything feels and looks normal.
Except it’s not.
It’s the third day when I sit down in front of Aurora’s laptop and take a deep breath for what I am about to search. My heart ticks inside me like a bomb, waiting for me to type and see destruction all over the press.
I haven’t been out of the house, so I haven’t been bombarded by the paparazzi or questioned about this whole situation. As soon as I type in Helia’s name, I hold my breath.
But…
There is nothing.
I type his whole name, and still… nothing.
Then I type my name, then Remo’s, then Aurora’s. I try Glamorous magazine, and the only articles that have been published are about the internal management of Glamorous changing, but that was old news. Many people were applying for the new job opportunities, since Helia had just fired most managerial staff.
Who did this when Helia is in jail?
“Ambrose? Do you want to have dinner with me today? Downstairs?” I look up from the laptop and see Aurora in the doorway.
She wears a simple cream tank top with wide-legged cream trousers and slippers on her feet. I’m wearing black leggings, a sports bra, and white socks. The heat is really getting to us. Though a chilly air is still among us.
“Yeah.”
As I walk into the dining room, my steps falter.
“Sorry, I didn’t get to tell you. I hope it’s okay he joins. He can leave if you want,” Aurora says quietly.
I shake my head and continue towards the dining table.
Remo looks at me with a calculating gaze, watching my every move as he has always done, not uttering a single word even when Aurora sits beside him and the maids start to bring food out.
“I made all this for you since it’s my last night here. I hope you like it.” Aurora grins at me, and I smile back, eagerly looking over the dishes.
“There is garlic bread, lamb chops, Caesar salad, roasted potatoes, and hand-squeezed orange juice. That’s Remo’s favourite.” She glances over at him with twinkling eyes, and he looks down at her.
I catch the smallest, most miniscule smile on his lips. As if the minute she looked at him, everything inside him melted.
“Okay, let’s start before it gets cold.” We all dig in, but I keep looking over at Remo, wondering if he did it.
How else would all the articles disappear?
“Out with it,” I say.
Remo raises a brow. “Out with…?” He motions with his hand at me.
I drop my spoon that second, not wanting to miss this chance, especially since Aurora is with us currently.
“Did you have those articles erased?”
He continues to eat. “Yes.”
“Did you remove Helia’s and my name from them?”
“Yes.”
“You paid them or bought the publishing news outlets out?”
“Paid.”
“How?”
“The reporter you sent it to is part of Gustav Media, and I happen to know the Chief Executive and he warned me, it put me in a tight spot but I managed to remove it all. Helia’s software also helped.”
“Why?”
This time, he looks up, a smirk taking over his face.
No answer.
Fine. I don’t care about his reasons. He’s saved me a lot of trouble.
“Is he… on trial?”
They both nod at me.
Would he even want to meet me?
“You should visit.” Remo’s face darkens, like it’s killing him to say so.
“I don’t think I should,” I murmur, taking a sip of water, forcing down the thorns stuck in my throat.
“Ambrose,” Remo grits out.
I look at Aurora, but she only shrugs.
“Remo?” I copy him, making Aurora laugh silently.
“Just go. If you don’t go, I will kidnap you and take you there myself.”
My eyebrows shoot up at his threat that doesn’t feel like a threat at all.
“Why? Is something wrong? A reason you are practically forcing me to go?”
Remo looks to the side, his jaw ticking. “You will see.”
I swallow at Aurora’s calm demeanour.
Why are they acting like this?
Two days later, I am getting ready to go visit Helia when my mother shows up.
“What are you doing here? Why did security even let you in?”
“Ambrose, listen to me, please,” Mum begs, but I shake my head. “If your sister’s husband cares about you and that good-for-nothing guy, if you think these people around you care about you, then you should think again. I have lived amongst these people. I have been in your position, Ambrose. You need me.”
I sigh, rubbing my temple.
“Listen to me, dear. Remo never does anything unless it benefits him. Ask him, if he could remove the email I sent through to news channels, why hasn’t he gotten that guy out of jail by now?”
My body tenses when her words poke through my mind.
“You said I destroyed your life, but those around you are doing a much better job than me. I tried to help you by arranging a marriage to someone powerful. You could save money, have your name around the elite circle, then divorce him if it’s terrible. You are smart. You could—”
“How little do you think of me, Mum?”
She opens her mouth, but I raise my hand.
“You don’t think I could become what I want to without the help of a man? Without marriage? What have I been doing all these years? Sitting around and shopping with my daddy’s money? No. I earned that money. I got us this mansion. I got us the money you spend, and every single penny that flows in and out of the Torre mansion. I am the brain behind Glamorous’s success. So why do you think I would struggle without a male figure in my life? Leave. I don’t want to hear any more of your nonsense. Get out,” I grit out.
“That’s it? You will cut ties with me just like that?” She raises a brow, arrogance still dripping from her mouth.
“Get the fuck out, Leysa.” I drop the familial sentiment just as I am dropping her.
She turns and walks away. I ensure she has left the property, then I remove her from the entry list, block her cards, block her phone number, and order a service to remove her belongings from the house. I have no more forgiveness left to give her. She’ll get nothing more from me.
Instead of heading towards my original destination, I take a detour and go to Cainn enterprises. I step out at the tall black tower amongst the city of London, with the powerhouse of London working at the top of it.
Forget the monarchy in Britain, the man who has funded and backed most recent politicians is Remo, and now I realise Helia has been hidden in the shadows of his success. They work hand in hand, together; one cannot exist without the other.
So the question prods in my mind again.
Why didn’t Remo help Helia by releasing him from prison yet?
“You can go in there.”
I nod at Remo’s assistant with a polite smile and walk inside, ready to face him once more.
“Are you actually working on releasing Helia?” I snap.
Remo laughs. “Good morning to you, too, Ms Torre.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you?”
“It’s a hard job. It will take time.” He shrugs, but I don’t believe him.
I truly don’t.
“I find that very hard to believe, brother-in-law.”
His eyes snap to me, dark, menacing, a threat in them because of the tone of my voice.
“On my way here, I called the prison of London, asking about any updates in the process of appeal for Helia Nashwood. Only to hear that there has been no appeal. There hasn’t been a single demand for release or any lawyers visiting him.”
Remo’s eyes darken.
“Tell me, Remo. Why the fuck haven’t you asked for an appeal?”