Chapter 51
Sebastian
" I t looks exactly like it did when I was a child." Natasha smiles and brings her hand to her mouth while staring at the cabin.
"The inside is full of father's things, but we can get them out and redecorate it however you want," Callie says while pushing open the car door to slip out, with her mother following closely behind.
One by one, we walk toward the front of the cabin. Barrett and Kyler go in first to make sure there’s nobody inside, and when they confirm it’s clear, Callie and her mother step inside. I hang back, walking to the side of the building instead, looking toward the tree line, and lose myself in thought.
The drive back to Tennessee was uneventful for the most part. Callie was in the front seat, trying to annoy the shit out of me with the radio. Barrett and Kyler were in the back with Natasha, dancing and giggling the whole way. It was honestly everything I could have ever wanted. Callie fills this void, bringing light to the darkest parts of each of us in unique ways.
We stopped at Mary's farm so Callie and Natasha could speak with the women. It was mutually agreed upon that Kyler, Barrett, and I would stay in the car while they talked. We were there for support if needed, but for once, I agreed that it wasn't our place to be involved in the conversation.
The women welcomed Natasha's return. They embraced her with nothing but love and support. From what we were told, they agreed Natasha is the perfect person for them to lean on moving forward.
They discussed a few of the semantics and spent hours making a log of everyone's requests and needs going forward. Their husbands' deaths were discussed before wrapping things up as well. Some of the women will be reporting them missing now that we have a plan in place. You can't exactly have a Supreme Court Justice disappear with no answers, so they weren’t left with much of a choice.
They’re all planning to tell the police the same story if they’re asked why they waited so long to report the disappearances. ‘Their husbands often took trips where they would leave for several days at a time. They didn’t think it was necessarily a red flag at first, but they began to worry after not hearing back from them.’ The website should be up and running any minute with the names of all the men to dissuade further investigation.
Natasha plans to formally launch The Maxton Foundation as soon as possible, giving anyone affected by cults an open resource. We will do our best to ensure word spreads to the people who need it. Some may be weary at first, but our hope is that with time and a positive track record, the foundation will only grow. The women and children who survived Rogue are the first of many that The Maxton Foundation will aid; I’m sure of it.
Some of the women have already packed up their campers to go back to their homes. They chose to sever ties with the community completely and were given an emergency number should they ever need assistance or change their minds. Others have opted for the assistance we’ve offered, with some getting new homes and others monthly payments to keep them on track.
A few of the women asked that we not include their husbands' names on the website. They wish to simply report them missing without the possibility of them being linked back to the compound fire.
Everything is on a play-by-ear basis right now, and we plan to take it one day at a time. It's going to be a lot of work, but it seems like Callie is dedicated to helping her mother make sure everything is handled. As long as Callie wants to stay here, we will.
What my brothers and I do for a living is flexible. We are free to accept or decline jobs as we see fit. Our reputation will still precede us if we take a step back from the criminal world. We always intended to retire at some point, and while this may not be permanent retirement, it's as good of a reason as any to step away.
As much as I like to believe we were fine before meeting Callie, the truth is our lives were stagnant. We were mindlessly working and stuck on our struggles from early on in our lives. Callie healed each of us. I can see the way my brothers have changed because of her, and I'd be lying if I said she didn't change me, too.
The moment I first heard her sing the song in my bedroom, the vivid memories of my mother have been flooding back at the strangest times. She opened the gates and unlocked this part of myself I had buried for so long. It was a time when I felt loved and accepted before it was all ripped from me with my mother's death.
Callie is the first person I’ve genuinely opened my heart to since losing my mother, and I think it’s finally time for me to admit my feelings to her. I've been putting it off for too long. She needs to know she has the entirety of my heart if she wants it.
I feel someone touch my arm, pulling me from my thoughts, and I look down to see the girl I can't seem to get off my mind. She smiles and rests her head on my arm before glancing up at me.
"What are you doing out here by yourself?"
"I have to talk to you," I say, ignoring her question.
"Okay, but before you do, there's something I want to do. My mom told me about a place nearby that she used to go to when she was a kid. It has this big tree in the middle. Will you go with me?"
"Of course I'll go with you. Do you want to grab everyone else?"
"No, this is just for us. "
She grabs my hand and leads me toward the trees. It takes about five minutes for us to walk to the spot she described, and as it comes to view, I'm mesmerized. In the middle of the woods, there is a thirty-foot circle with small rocks lining the outer edge, and the largest tree I've ever seen is planted right in the middle. The center of the circle is covered with dirt, and you can’t help the way your eyes are drawn right to the tree in the middle.
It seems peaceful here; as if anyone who came here could work out their troubles just by sitting in the silence of the circle. I look down at Callie and see tears in her eyes, which immediately has me concerned.
"What's going on? Why are we here?" I ask as gently as possible, even though it's not my usual nature.
"I thought we could have a memorial for Maxton," she says, rubbing her arms nervously. "If you want to, that is. We don't have to, but I just thought it would be a nice way-"
"I would love that," I say, cutting her off.
"You would?"
"Absolutely. Thank you for thinking of this."
"Having a special place to honor him feels like the right thing to do," she says with pain-filled eyes.
A tear falls down her cheek, and when I reach out to wipe it away, she leans into my touch. I pull her into an embrace, holding her tightly as she wraps her arms around my waist and loses herself in the sorrowful feelings. We stay like this for a few moments, and when she finally pulls back, she looks toward the tree with wet eyes .
"Maxton never got to have a burial place. He deserves to have somewhere he can be remembered."
"This is the perfect place for something like that. I know I never got to meet him, but I'm hoping that through you, I can get to know him more."
"I'll tell you anything you want if you're willing to listen. He was one of the best people I've ever known." She smiles.
I squeeze her hand. "I know I haven't always been the most cooperative person. Thank you for being so patient with me."
"I knew I'd break through your grumpy shell at some point. I'm irresistible."
"That you are." I lean down and kiss her on the cheek. "Did you want to say a few words about him now?"
She nods and takes a deep breath before looking at the tree and walking toward it. I trail behind her, still holding her hand as we get closer to the center of the circle. When we finally stop in front of the tree, Callie reaches her free hand out and places it on the bark. She closes her eyes and looks up, taking another breath and soaking in the beauty of the moment.
I’m mesmerized, unable to take my eyes off of her. This is for Maxton, but seeing how full of emotion she is proves exactly how much she loved him. It makes me want to find a way to take the pain away, even though it’s not something I'll ever be able to do. Loss is a pain that can never be taken away, only managed.
My thoughts drift to when she first told me about him, and I'm instantly filled with guilt. I was so worried about myself, and I made her feel awful for even talking about him. I called her a liar and told her that she didn’t really love him. They're definitely words I've come to regret. Thankfully, she’s forgiving and can look past it.
She keeps her hand on the tree but isn't able to speak at the moment. I think she may be overwhelmed by everything, so I take the opportunity to help her. I bring my hand up to the tree and mimic her placement before looking over at her.
"Would it be okay if I said a few words first?"
She seems shocked, but there are things I need to get off my chest, and hopefully, this will give her more courage to say what she needs to. She’s clearly struggling, so it's time for me to man up and be vulnerable.
When she nods, I clear my throat and look up at the branches. "Maxton, I know you don't know me, but I'm your half-brother Sebastian. I tried to find you, and I regret that I wasn't successful. I want to thank you. It's because of you that Callie came into our lives, and while it may not have been the most conventional way, she is the best thing to ever happen to my brothers and me."
I glance over at her tear-filled eyes and give her a weak smile before continuing.
"Thank you for showing our girl how to love and giving her something to look forward to when everything else around her was so bleak. You were there to love and support her when she needed it most and gave her hope. I can't wait to hear more stories about you, and I hope that one day, when we finally meet in whatever afterlife is out there, you won’t be too upset with me for taking your girl. You're definitely not getting her back, though."
"Seb!" Callie laughs and nudges my arm.
"What? I’m just making sure he knows. I'm not sharing you with anyone else."
She shakes her head and drops my hand, focusing on the tree before she begins speaking in a hushed tone at first. "Maxton, I miss you so much. I want to start by saying I will always love you, and I'm so thankful for the time you and I had together. You were the best part of my days and one of the only people I could depend on when I was at Rogue. The two years that we spent together as a couple will always be so special to me. Even before we made things official, you were always there, and living without you has been so fucking hard. I'm sorry my father hurt you because of me. I'm sorry I didn't go back for you. I’m sorry you had to die alone. I will always hold onto a piece of guilt for not being strong enough to let you go when my father told me I had to marry Damien. If I had, maybe you would still be here today. I was just so selfish."
She pauses for a moment to look over at me.
"It's not your fault," I reassure her.
"I think about the good times we had often. Having a tree here as a memorial for you couldn't be any more fitting. I remember the time you and I snuck into the woods surrounding Rogue and carved our initials into a tree with a heart around it. We had plans for forever, and it hurts that our forever was taken from us. I hope you can forgive me for moving on and finding love with Kyler, Barrett, and Sebastian. You will always hold a special place in my heart. You were my first love, and I will never forget you."
Her hand falls from the tree, and she reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small knife before flipping it open to carve something in the tree. I try to stay in the moment with her, but seeing her use the knife on the tree pulls me into a memory of my mother.
"Sebastian, slow down, sweetie," my mother calls out as I run down the path.
We went to the park to see the ducks in the pond because I loved seeing them swim around in circles. I was running ahead to see if I could get to the ducks faster because it had been over a month since the last time we went there. When I got to the pond, I was sad because they weren't there.
"Ducks, Mommy."
She smiled at me with sad eyes and knelt down to extend her arms so I could lean into her embrace. When she lifted me up, she squeezed me tightly and shook me around, making me giggle.
"Sometimes the ducks have to go home, Seb. They can't stay at the pond and play all day. Since they’re not here, they must have already gone home for the day. We will have to come back and see them some other time."
"Ducks!" I shouted, still not understanding why they weren't out in the pond like they always were.
"I have an idea. Let’s do something special today," my mother says with a smile before placing me on the ground and grabbing my hand.
She led me over to the line of trees and pulled a small knife out of her purse before she crouched down next to me. I watched in astonishment when she dug the tip of the knife into the bark and started writing letters. She made a few lines before she put the knife back into her purse. When she looked down, I was so confused.
"Heart," I said, looking at the heart my mother carved into the surface of the bark.
"This spot right here will always belong to us, my little Sebby. You and me. If the ducks aren't here, we can remember this spot right here. You can remember how much Mommy loves you."
I giggled and hugged her before reaching out to touch the spot on the tree.
"Seb?"
The sound of my name pulls me from the memory, and I glance over at Callie to see her eyeing me with worry. The tree has a heart with Maxton's initials carved into it, and it reminds me so much of the heart my mother carved.
"Seb, are you okay?" she asks, but I'm laser-focused on the heart. My eyes finally trail over to hers, and I pull her into my embrace.
I hug her, feeling more grateful than I ever have for anyone in my entire life. She is so gentle, patient, and kind. No matter what I put her through, she has been the one constant who has been able to pull these emotions out of me. She gave me the gift of my mother again, and I couldn't have asked for a better partner in life.
“I need to tell you something,” I say, ignoring her question again.
This is the perfect moment to confess how I feel. I take her hand and look her in the eye, making sure she knows the truth and sincerity of these words.
“I love you, trouble. I don’t know how else to say it besides being straightforward. I’m not romantic like my brothers, but I'm in love with you, Callie. You have every single piece of me if you want–.”
“I love you too,” she interrupts and reaches up to grab the back of my neck to pull me in for a kiss.
Our tongues tangle with one another, and she melts into my arms. The taste of her isn't something I’ll ever get enough of. I want to tangle my fingers in her hair, but I hesitate. This place is for Maxton. It doesn’t need to be soiled with my pent-up urges.
“You belong to me tonight, in my bed.”
When she pulls back, her eyes land on mine. "Finally." She smiles.
"You keep mocking me, and I’ll punish you for it."
"Is that a promise, sir?" She grins devilishly.
Fuck, this woman knows how to push every single one of my buttons. "Yes, fuck toy. And if your mother wasn't in that cabin, I would throw you over my shoulder and march right in there right now to tie you up and tease you until tears fall from those beautiful brown eyes."
She beams up at me, eyes darkening over my words. She blinks and then blurts out the last thing I expected her to say. "I think we should all move down here to be with my mom. It doesn't have to be permanent, but I want to help her get things situated with The Maxton Foundation. I’ve spent so long without her. I don't want to be away from her again. I’m going to try to convince Avery to move here, too. It’ll be good for her to have a fresh start."
I pull her in close and kiss her on the forehead. "If this is where you want to be, then this is where we will be. Barrett and Ky will agree with me. We just want you to be happy."
"Are you sure? What about your house? Where will we live?"
"We will just have to buy land nearby and build a new house, one that you have a say in, too. Barrett will get his gym so you two can do some kickboxing, and we will put in a big inground pool for you and Kyler to swim in."
"And a library?" she questions.
"Yes, and a library for you. I will pull some strings and get the ball rolling as soon as I talk with the guys about it."
"Thank you, Seb."
"Anything for you, trouble." I grab her hand and pull her toward the direction of the cabin. "Let's go see what everyone else is up to. You know leaving Barrett and Kyler alone for too long isn't always the best idea."
She giggles as the two of us walk back to the cabin. I don't know where things are going to lead the four of us, but what I do know is that we will go through it together. When one struggles, the other will lift them up. We are a unit, and that will never change, no matter what.