Chapter Twenty-Seven
A faint white haze filtered through the dirty windowpanes, illuminating the only room that was still furnished. Here alone time had not passed. Edward, tall and handsome, was sipping tea with his mother, a book on his lap. His sister Lisa was practicing her scales on the piano. She stopped abruptly and looked up.
‘Ah. Klaudi and the Rabenstein children,’ Edward said atonally. ‘Just like in the old days.’
His eyes flitted to Adela, then they rested indifferently on the four of them.
She had dreamed of that moment for so long. To face him once and for all. To show him that she was strong and that she would react this time. To yell at him every single obscenity that she had hurled at him in her nightmares. But right now all she felt was an immense sadness, a despair so sticky and hopeless that it could drown the whole world.
Edward’s mother just looked at them wearily. Perhaps she had already withstood all the suffering that a human heart could bear, and now she could feel no more. Lisa muttered something, but it was lost in the suffocating haze.
Edward rose slowly.
How she had wished him death over that dreadful year! How she had wished he could suffer all the torments of hell. But as he walked to her, it was not him that she saw. It was the serious boy with the sad eyes.
‘What...what happened, Edward?’
Edward cocked an eyebrow.
‘What happened?’
She swallowed.
‘Where is everyone? Everything?’
‘My brother ran it to the ground before dying, you know that.’
‘But you spent years working hard to turn things around…you had managed—’
‘We have you to thank for this, Claudia!’ Lisa strode right to her. ‘What you did to him would have broken a stronger man than him. He had stopped drinking and gambling before you betrayed him!’
‘Lisa, dearest,’ Edward said softly. ‘Let me deal with this. Sit there with Mother, please.’ Then he turned to her, his eyes burning with hatred. ‘What do you want, Claudia?’
I want you to disappear from my life. I want to buy my freedom from you.
‘I want to know why, ’ she heard herself say.
He smirked.
‘Why what?’
‘Why you almost killed me one year ago. How could you, Edward?’
There was a gasp behind him.
‘Brother?’ Lisa said faintly. ‘Brother, is it true?’
‘If I had wanted to kill you, I would have.’ Edward said calmly. ‘And maybe I should have. Because living like this , Claudia…seeing you go about your life happy and healthy, reminding me of what I did to you…it is not really a life anymore, isn’t it?’
‘ Why ?’ She asked again
‘Do you have any idea of how I lived for the past years? What it took me to clean up the mess my brother left? Illegitimate children. Women he had seduced and abandoned. Whores. Dozens of furious creditors. God, the things I haven’t seen in these years. I thought it would be worth it because you would be there in the end.’
‘But you didn’t love me, Edward. You never did.’
He stared right at her and there was only the two of them, dragged into the darkness of his suffering mind.
‘What does love matter? Love is capricious. Love is volatile. But you, Claudia. You were there for me, always . So wise. So pure. You were home. You were there when the darkness took me. You kept me safe. Always safe.’
‘While Adela was dangerous, wasn’t she?’ She said quietly. ‘Because she held your heart in her hands.’
‘She was fickle,’ he said contemptuously. ‘Teasing men. Making them swoon over her. But you, Claudia, were the one sacred thing in all this filth .’
Someone began crying softly, but they didn’t pull their eyes off each other. There was just the two of them in a circle of hazy light. All the rest was darkness.
Why, Edward? Adela was saying. We loved each other. We could have been happy together. I swore we’d be happy.
‘Promises….promises…’ Edward’s eyes were chained to Claudia’s, and they lit up like when he had beaten her, possessively, furiously. ‘You had been promised to me! You belonged to me , Claudia! You were meant to be mine. To carry on my name! You were meant to wait for me! And what did I find in the end, when I could finally offer you a home, a family, a life worthy of both our names?’
He stepped even closer, until they were face to face, and she could see this unending story of betrayal playing behind his eyes.
‘A liar. A fraud. A whore .’
In the darkness there was a flicker of silver.
And Edward was on the floor, two swords pointed at his heart, Moritz’s boot lingering on his throat. Lisa screamed.
‘Moritz! Lorenz! No! ’
But Edward just looked at them with utter indifference.
And then she understood. Before her was a desperate man. A man who was trying to force a marriage with a woman he despised because he had literally nothing left to lose.
‘Swords? You brought swords ?’ Edward laughed mirthlessly. ‘Seriously, Rabey. Always one for theatrics when your Klaudi is involved. You can’t wait to kill me, can you? I must say I am tempted. That would be an honourable way to go. Killed by my dearest friend, turned rival for vengeance, like in an ancient myth.’ He seemed to revel in the image. ‘But your Klaudi won’t let you. Yes, she’ll let me live. And she’ll have to agree to a marriage in the end, because I hold her reputation in my hands. See what I’m forced to do, Claudia? God knows I despise you. God knows I hate you with all my heart. But I’d even marry a whore like you rather than see our estate disappear in ignominy. Do you really think I’d marry you if your dowry wasn’t my family’s last chance?’
Moritz pressed his boot on Edward’s neck.
Kill him!
She suppressed the voice in her head and pushed Moritz away, rudely.
‘Stand back, Moritz. Enough theatrics and enough with this madness. We are not like him .’
Moritz withdrew his boot, but not his blade.
‘Luckily for you, Edward, you don’t need to marry me for that. We come with an offer.’ She just wanted to run away and forget all she had seen in that house. ‘Let my family come to your aid. You can start again, bit by bit, a proper life. Even if it won’t be the sort of life you have had until now.’
She could barely hear her voice, because her every fibre was screaming no, I want to see you crawl and beg for mercy! I want to taste your blood! I want to see you dead for dragging us all into your nightmares!
Edward pushed the two blades back with his palm, not even wincing when they drew blood. He stood and looked at her quietly for the longest time.
‘I’d rather die than accept your pity,’ he said at last.
‘Oh, but I don’t pity you, Edward. I hate you. But I want you out of my life, and for good. If I can buy my freedom from you, I will. Besides, this is not just about you. Think about your mother.’ His mother was just sitting quietly, pale like a rag. She looked ill. ‘Think about Lisa. She has a life ahead of her, and she deserves better than this. Accept my family’s help, and let’s never cross each other’s paths again.’
Lisa quietly crept to Edward’s side, and she placed a hand on his shoulder.
‘Brother, please,’ she said urgently. As Edward looked at his sister, there was something almost warm to his gaze. He still cared about her. ‘Anything is better than this, Eddie. We can’t live another day like this. Not another day.’
‘We cannot accept her charity, Lisa.’
‘Claudia will never marry you, Eddie,’ she said it softly, but her teeth were chattering with fear. ‘Why, these two lunatics will kill you before. You know that they will. I already lost a brother. I am not losing you too. Do you hear me? I am not losing you too. It’s all over. Mother needs help. She needs a doctor. You need help, Eddie…Please. It is not shameful to accept her offer. Let’s start over, and never think of this ugly story again.’
Well, they could perhaps never think of it again. But she’d have to live with the memory of her childhood friend almost killing her for the rest of her days.
‘Whatever you say, Lisa. As long as I never have to see her again.’
Lisa looked up.
‘You heard my brother,’ she said haughtily. ‘We accept.’
‘Good. I’ll write to my father. If I know him, he’ll send for you in a heartbeat to talk it all through.’ She addressed Lisa, for she could not stand to look at Edward a second longer. ‘Do not be shy about taking, Lisa. We have more than enough. This is your life now.’
‘Quiet, Claudia.’ Edward snarled at her. ‘I don’t want to hear your voice anymore. Now leave, all of you. I never want to see you again. May death and madness take you all.’
‘One last thing, St Cross…’ Moritz hissed. ‘If it ever… ever …occurs to you again…to set a foot anywhere near Claudia…or to raise your hand on a woman…’ Moritz placed a hand on Edward’s neck and began whispering in his ear.
For a long, infinite minute there were just Moritz’s whispers, hissed like a curse in a demonic tongue. Edward paled and supported himself on a chair.
‘…and I will bring Hell with me. Understood?’
‘Y-yes.’
‘Now let’s go.’ Moritz released his neck. ‘We are done here.’
Claudia cast one last look at Lisa, who gazed back contemptuously, and they left.
When she closed the door behind her, she had the impression that the parlour was plunging into darkness, into a nightmare that would never end.
She leaned against the wall.
‘This is horrible. I thought I would feel free. I just feel worse.’
Moritz placed a hand on her shoulder.
‘Most battles do not end…with a victory march…everyone just withdraws quietly…and collects their dead. Today…everyone is collecting their dead…Now let’s get out of here.’
They walked downstairs slowly, dazed, only breaking the silence to whisper.
‘Their suffering…’ Moritz shuddered. ‘It clings to your skin.’
‘I need a bath.’ Lorenz gasped. ‘Wash it all off. Do you know what I mean?’
Adela said nothing. She was just trembling all over.
They hastened towards the portal. The summer light and the bustling street shone through the cavernous entrance. But Moritz halted abruptly, barring their way.
‘What’s wrong with you?’ Lorenz almost yelled. ‘Let’s get the hell out of here!’
‘I want to remind you of something…here in this place. No matter what happened to us…I want us all to remember…that we are not like him. Understood?’
Everyone went quiet.
‘So when we think it is all over…when we think that we’d be better off dead…than live like this…I want you to remember what you saw in there. Unlike for him, there is still hope for us…somewhere… no matter what happened. ’
Then he gave her a tentative smile, as pallid as sun behind fog.
‘Let’s go now. Klaudi has some good news…for you, at last. Come out and see for yourselves.’
And with that he guided them to the light.