Chapter Eight
‘Whatcha doing?’ Toni bounces with too much exuberance into my shoulder and I wince slightly, dragging my eyes away from the screen, where I’ve been perving over the same old Instagram profile.
It’s not Daniel’s. Myfanwy’s put me on a stalking ban – she blocked him and all his friends, which is so annoying. What am I supposed to do at 2am when I’m late-night-ordering a bottle of his aftershave from Amazon to spray on that side of the bed?
It’s a brand’s page: Walliams’ Custom Designs. They’re a bespoke ring designer I’ve been obsessed with for the past few months. As it stands, Celeste’s Stones don’t actually design anything in-house. We offer bespoke or personalized jewellery, but then we send it out to another company to sort. We’re basically a middle man for the process, which doesn’t really tie in with how I see the store, which is all about personal service. I’ve been thinking for ages that we should be trying to find a really talented ring-maker to bring on board. It’s something I’ve brought up with Celeste many times and she’s always given me the brush-off. Until now.
‘These are the guys coming in today,’ I jab a finger at the Instagram page before me, pulling up their latest post to show Toni a ring design with intricate pearls encircling a rose gold band. She takes the iPad from me, flicking through Walliams’ Custom Designs’ posts, eyes wide.
‘Wow, these are beautiful,’ Toni breathes, swiping slowly from post to post.
‘I know,’ I grin, feeling proud. ‘I found them a while back, aren’t they great? They’re London-based, same as us, but don’t have much of a following yet.’
‘They totally will though.’ Her eyes finally leave the screen. ‘Do you think they’re any relation to David Walliams?’
I grimace. ‘I hope not. But whoever they are, they’re ridiculously talented.’ I lean over to review the iPad again. ‘Look at the shapes, Tone! And the materials! They’re making some of the most creative and elegant stuff I’ve ever seen. It’s absolute artistry!’
‘Are we going to work with them?’ she asks eagerly and I shrug like I’m not that invested either way. But the truth is, I’m desperate to work with them. When I showed Celeste their page, I was so worried she’d give me yet another brush-off. But even she had to admit they do stunning work and agreed to me setting up a meeting with the team to discuss collaborating. Plus, I think she took pity on me after everything that’s been happening.
‘Imagine if David Walliams walked in!’ Toni snorts. ‘Imagine if he’s decided to diversify from kid’s books into jewellery design.’
‘It would be an interesting choice,’ I comment distractedly. That name does set off alarm bells, but not because of a sleazy TV star.
Walliams. Or Williams. Ugh. One of the most common surnames in the Western world, and it also happens to be the most haunted for me. All my life, people called Williams have cropped up again and again, a karmic punishment for what happened between me and Flo all those years ago.
I picture Florence Williams now, visualizing her chubby face, giggling whenever I called her Mo Flo. We were best friends throughout primary and middle school; a solid, unassailable team, spending every lunchtime hiding at the bottom of the playground, playing with our Tamagotchis and writing in overflowing diaries about the people we fancied who literally didn’t know we were alive.
Every time I meet a Williams, or a William, or indeed a tenuously named company called Walliams’ Custom Designs, I feel the weight of guilt. I wouldn’t even let Daniel call his thingy a willy.
Oh, Daniel.
It’s been a few weeks since my breakdown in an All Bar One, and after my pep talk with Aunt Diane, I could really feel the depression stage threatening, especially when I finally packaged up the engagement ring Daniel had given me. I sent it to his mum and dad’s house and, handing the parcel over at the post office, I came quite close to collapsing on the floor. But it was a family heirloom and I knew I couldn’t keep it. I cried for two days straight after that, staring at my barren, empty hand and sobbing over old WhatsApp messages from him that mainly read stuff like, ‘I’ve got a splinter, ughhh!’ or, ‘The bath mat has mould on it.’ Focusing on work is the only thing getting me through right now, especially knowing I have to move out of the flat in just over a week. Borrowing some old stock and filling my fingers with other jewellery also helped. I don’t miss my engagement ring quite as much when my hand is weighed down by beautiful trinkets.
Beside me, Toni throws the iPad down, breathless as she reaches for my shoulder. ‘Oh my god oh my god oh my god, don’t look, OK?’ she hisses. ‘Right? DON’T LOOK!’
‘Don’t look at what?’ I stare down at the glass case before me feeling helpless. ‘What am I not looking at?’
Toni grips my arm. I can feel finger-shaped bruises forming under her steel strength.
‘It’s that guy, that guy.’ She’s hissing in my ear. ‘That guy just walked in!’
‘What guy? Can I look up?’ I murmur back.
‘Oh my god! NO, DO NOT LOOK, GINNY!’
I sigh, feeling tired. I’m tired all the time these days. Misery takes it out of you. ‘What guy?’ I repeat.
‘I can’t remember his name but he’s from that TV show, you know? That TV thing? Everybody watched it. You know?’
‘Toni, can I please just have a look?’ My neck is starting to hurt, bent at its odd angle. ‘It’s surely more obvious something’s happening when I’m literally staring down at the floor?’
‘OK, fine.’ Toni’s grip doesn’t loosen. ‘But don’t stare. Just a quick glance.’
That quick glance is enough to tell me the man who just walked into our store is one of the most devastatingly handsome people I’ve ever seen in my life. Tall, broad, covered in tattoos and utterly gorgeous. He definitely looks like a film or TV star, but I don’t recognize him.
I turn sideways, picking up the iPad and pretending to look at it, so I can slyly watch him move slowly around the store, taking everything in. Hovering over my favourite section, TV star half smiles to himself, and beside me, Toni practically swoons.
‘He’s so hot, Jesus H. Christ,’ she breathes. ‘I can’t believe the guy from that show is in our shop!’
‘Is “H” a middle name?’ I muse. ‘Was it Jesus Howard Christ? Jesus Horatio? Or is it, like, Jesus Holy Christ?’
‘Shushhhh!’ Toni practically shouts, panting in my ear. ‘He’s looking over here!’
‘Try to calm down, Tone,’ I swallow a laugh. ‘You have a boyfriend, remember? And we’ve had famous people in here before.’
I check my watch; the Walliams’ Custom Designs people are due soon, so I need to stop sweating and check my lipstick before meeting this insanely talented group. I so desperately want to impress them. I’ve been polishing glass cases around the store all morning – something I know sounds like a euphemism, but isn’t.
‘Mainly our mum,’ Toni pouts. ‘Not really, really sexy famous people. Not him. Oh my god, should I go talk to him? Should I offer to help?’
‘I mean, you could do your job, I guess?’ I give her a half smile and she swallows hard, suddenly looking very young and vulnerable. I stroke her back. ‘Is it too much?’ I ask nicely. ‘Shall I offer to help instead? I’ll have to be quick though, I have this meeting.’
‘No, it’s fine, I can do it!’ she says determinedly – and then her face crumbles. ‘No, I can’t.’ She shakes her head. ‘I’m sorry, you’ll have to do it. I don’t think I can… I mean he’s too… he’s just glorious, Ginny, look at him!’
She’s right, he is.
I steel myself, straightening my blazer before making the approach.
‘Hello, can I help at all?’ My voice is a little high-pitched, but I’m proud a real, fully formed sentence managed to emerge from my mouth.
The TV star turns to face me, smiling the most dazzling of smiles, teeth white and straight. ‘Hello!’ His voice is deep and I realize he’s older than I’d thought. Probably older than me – maybe mid-thirties? I would say he’s too old for Toni, but Shawn isn’t far off that…
‘You must be Ginny?’
I blink, surprised. ‘Oh? I mean, yes I am!’ I say after a moment’s confused silence.
‘Zach Walliams.’ He offers me his hand and I blink at it, baffled.
‘Hi?’ I say hesitantly, still confused. Was he in one of the Marvel movies?
His brow furrows. ‘We have a meeting?’ he adds after another long second.
‘Oh my god!’ The cloud clears. ‘Of course! You’re from Walliams’ Custom Designs – I’m so sorry!’
He laughs lightly. ‘Well, technically, I am Walliams’ Custom Designs. I’m a one-man operation.’
‘Wow.’ I am genuinely awed. ‘You do all that by yourself? That’s really impressive.’
He blushes and it is so adorable I want to touch the pinkness of his cheeks.
Toni is suddenly at my arm, her breath short and hot. ‘Hi!’ she squeals. ‘Can I just say I loved you in that show.’
Zach cocks his head, confusion lining that beautiful face. ‘Show? What show?’
‘That Netflix thing.’ She sounds impatient. ‘I can’t remember the name, but I loved it so much! I got everyone I know to watch it. I even made my boyfriend—’ She stops abruptly at this, paling. ‘I mean, I don’t have a boyfriend. Or, I kind of do, but y’know, it’s very casual and—’
‘Toni,’ I warn in a low voice and she puts a hand to her mouth.
‘Oh god, sorry. I do have a boyfriend really, I don’t know why I said that! I feel terrible. Please don’t tell Shawn I said that! We’ve been together for years! I’m sorry!’
‘I won’t tell him!’ Zach reassures her. ‘But I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick. I’m not in any Netflix show—’
‘Amazon Prime!’ Toni shrieks. ‘I meant Amazon Prime, I’m sorry!’
‘No, no…’ Zach looks even more concerned. ‘I mean I’m not an actor at all – I never have been.’ He pauses. ‘Well, I was in a school pantomime when I was seven, but I froze up and started crying on stage. Never lived it down.’ He smiles widely at me and I beam back, picturing this adorable little guy humiliating himself in front of a sea of judgy parents.
‘No…’ Toni is shaking her head. ‘No, you’re definitely that guy—’ She stops short, a smile slowly creeping across her face. ‘Ohhhh, right, OK, yeah, you’re totally not him!’ She winks at Zach. ‘I get you! Totally understand. Our mum is famous, too, and it is so annoying being constantly pestered.’
‘No, really!’ Zach looks a bit panicked now. ‘I promise it’s not me! I’m a freelance designer.’
Toni winks again, leaning forward to lightly elbow him. ‘No of course not! Nudge nudge, wink wink! I get it.’ In a stage whisper she adds, ‘But I really did love you on that Amazon Prime show.’
‘Um, please ignore her, Zach!’ I swallow hard, gesturing towards the back. ‘Come on through to the office.’
He follows me across the store and I’m suddenly acutely aware of my butt. In the office I take a seat, finding the chair more uncomfortable than usual, as Toni hovers at the door.
‘Can I get you a tea?’ she offers Zach hopefully. ‘Coffee? Or something to eat? I read in that interview that you like MS cookies – I can run out and get some for you?’
Zach shoots me an awkward look, before turning back to Toni. ‘That’s really nice, and I do actually love their cookies, but I swear to you, I’m not that actor.’ He pauses. ‘A coffee would be wonderful though, if that’s possible.’
‘Of course,’ she winks slowly, backing out of the doorway. ‘I hear you.’
Alone at last, I clear my throat. ‘I’m really sorry about that. My sister, Toni, she’s—’
He waves away my apology. ‘She’s lovely,’ he says with warmth. ‘It’s flattering, I’m sure.’ He pauses. ‘Unless the actor she’s thinking of is Steve Buscemi?’
I laugh. ‘I think Steve Buscemi is quite charming-looking actually.’
He cocks his head, revealing a teasing half-smile that hides those white teeth. ‘You do? Well, that’s me told. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess.’
‘I think you’re safe though,’ I tell him. ‘Toni’s only twenty-three – I’m not sure she would even know who Steve Buscemi is.’
‘Gosh! Twenty-three…’ He raises his eyebrows. ‘What’s that like?’
‘No idea.’ I relate to his bemusement. ‘She’s a lot younger than me, and sometimes it feels like we come from different planets.’
Toni arrives back with the coffee then, placing it down on the desk, along with a piece of paper and a pen.
‘Thank you!’ Zach says nicely, as Toni leans down, getting too close to his face.
‘I know you’re having a meeting,’ she says in hushed tones, ‘but when you’re done, would you mind signing that for me? It’s Toni with an I,’ she gestures at the paper, slipping out of the room before he can respond.
Zach and I look at each other for a long moment and then – simultaneously – we burst out laughing.
‘If I knew the name of this guy she thinks I am,’ he says through amusement, ‘I actually would sign this for her!’
‘She clearly doesn’t know his name either!’ I am belly laughing now. ‘You could sign whatever name you like! You could be Tom Cruise – why not!’
‘Oh god no!’ He looks horrified. ‘Not him! I want to be someone cool!’
‘Unfortunately, I’m not cool enough to know who’s cool,’ I shrug helplessly.
‘Me neither,’ he shakes his head, rubbing an eye.
The laughter trails off, and for a second we’re left just smiling at one another in a strange moment of bonding.
I clear my throat at last. ‘I guess we should get to business!’
‘Right,’ he nods, holding eye contact for a fraction too long. ‘Business.’
I look down at my notepad, feeling a little awkward – a little watched.
‘So then,’ I cough again. ‘Um, Zach, how did Walliams Custom Designs come about? Have you been designing jewellery long?’ I try for job interview authority and immediately know I have fallen short. He takes a second to answer, and when he does, I find myself staring at his throat instead of his face.
‘Well,’ his Adam’s apple bobs lightly, ‘I set up the brand about eighteen months ago. Before then, I worked as a designer for a few years, making logos and marketing stuff for a very boring ad agency.’ He smiles and I try to meet his eyes.
I know I have to be professional, but something about him is throwing me off. He’s giving off distinctly unprofessional signals.
He continues, ‘I started designing and creating jewellery on the side because I needed a creative outlet.’ He pauses and I force myself to look up into his eyes. He is watching my mouth. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my job. I loved the creative side of it, but it was quite frustrating working for a bunch of sixty-something men who kept telling me to add more stars to everything.’
I laugh, feeling him studying me. ‘I’ve never worked in a proper office – it sounds so grown up.’
He smiles, his big eyes blacker than before. ‘You’ve always worked here?’
‘Pretty much.’ I glance past him at yet another poster of my mum snarling from the wall. ‘A family business has its perks and its…’ I trail off and he leans forward.
‘Anti-perks?’
‘I’m not sure that’s a word,’ I smirk.
‘Well, I don’t do words!’ he replies expansively, waving at the store around him. ‘I do jewellery!’
‘Same,’ I nod, reaching for my coffee. He does the same and for a moment there is silence as we both sip. I wonder if he’s feeling as discombobulated as me.
The meeting goes so well. As we leave the office, I’m buzzing with possibilities. Celeste’s Stones and Walliams’ Custom Designs are officially going to collaborate for a trial period of four months up to Christmas. Zach will be signing up as a contractor on a freelance basis, coming into the store one day a week to sit down with clients and work with us on bespoke designs.
I’m honestly so excited – almost as excited as Toni, who bounds over.
‘All good?’ she asks with energy, searching my face, then Zach’s.
‘Very!’ I nod as Zach hands her the piece of paper. She looks at it, squeals, then runs away.
‘What did you write?’ I ask, amused, and he twinkles.
‘You’ll have to find out…’ he says mysteriously. I laugh at this, leading him to the door.
‘Is it just the two of you? No more siblings?’ He gestures in the direction Toni disappeared in.
I feel his eyes scanning my face.
‘Yep,’ I say, trying to make normal eye contact. ‘I thought I was going to be an only child, but then along she came when I was nine. My mum decided it would be funny to name her Toni, middle name Celeste – after herself.’ I wait for him to put this together but most people take a minute. I explain. ‘As in Toni C? As in Tonic? I’m Gin and she’s Tonic?’ I sigh. ‘My mum thinks it’s the most hilarious thing in the world.’
Zach’s eyes widen and then he howls with laughter. ‘I kind of agree with your mum! That’s pretty epic.’
‘The stupid thing is that Ginny isn’t even my real name.’ I shake my head, smiling. ‘It’s Jenny. I had a South African teacher at school who pronounced it Ginny and everyone thought that was better. Ginny stuck. I tried to go back to Jenny so many times, but only one person ever did as I asked – a school friend, Flo.’ He frowns as I clear my throat, looking away. In that moment, my phone rings.
Ugh, it’s Celeste.
‘Sorry, one second, I’ll just get rid of her,’ I say in a whisper gesturing elaborately at my phone. He nods, looking distracted. I’ve kept him here too long.
‘Ginny, darling? Are you there?’ Celeste sounds odd and something like a stone hardens in my stomach.
‘Mum? What’s wrong?’ I say and I can tell my face has whitened because Zach is suddenly looking at me intensely, eyebrows drawn together.
‘Darling…’ Celeste’s voice wobbles and my hand tightens around the phone. ‘Darling, it’s your Aunt Diane… something’s happened. They’re not telling us much, but they said people should come.’
‘Come? Diane? What? What do you mean? Come where?’ My brain isn’t processing the information.
‘The hospital, darling, St Phillip’s, come as fast as you can, head for the AE section, ask for us.’ She pauses and I suddenly can’t breathe.
‘Did you hear me, Ginny darling?’ She sounds impatient now. ‘Come to St Phillip’s. Bring Toni. Call me when you get here, OK?’
‘Bring Toni? But the shop…’
‘Close the shop.’
‘Right, yes, of course.’ I need more information, I need to ask more questions, but she’s gone.
‘What’s happened?’ Zach gets closer. ‘Are you OK? What can I do?’
‘It’s my aunt…’ I trail off. ‘I need to get to the hospital, but I don’t even know where St Phillip’s is… I…’
‘I do,’ he nods decisively. ‘I’ve got my car across the road – I’ll drive you there. Shall I fetch your sister?’
I am unable to speak or think as he dashes off to get Toni.
I can’t make this stranger drive us, can I? But the idea of getting an Uber right now, or worse, on the tube, trying to find an unknown place with my brain disconnected like this, feels impossible.
What’s happened? Surely it can’t be serious? Diane is so young and so healthy. She does yoga and runs and laughs a lot! People like that don’t get really ill out of nowhere. Do they?
She has to be OK.