Date with Destiny

Chapter Nineteen

‘OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’ I scream at Toni from her bedroom doorway. She leaps away from the mirror, guilt purple across her face.

She throws the offending scissors away onto her chest of drawers. ‘Nothing!’ she shrieks as they clatter noisily.

‘You’re cutting your own fringe,’ I accuse. ‘We’ve been through this, Toni – it’s a terrible, terrible idea. Remember that Christmas when you were seventeen? You couldn’t leave the house for two months.’

Her head hangs in shame. ‘I remember.’ She glances at her reflection again and I move closer, inspecting her hair for damage.

‘I think it’s OK,’ I murmur. ‘I got to you in time.’

Toni breathes out heavily. ‘I knew it was a bad idea, I just really wanted a new look for my birthday dinner. Taylor Swift’s fringe always looks so shiny and cool. I want to dress for revenge like she does.’

I raise my eyebrows. ‘Taylor’s fringe is probably tended to by a team of well-paid hair stylists.’

Toni pouts. ‘I just wanted a glow-up!’

‘A glow-up?’ I repeat back in astonishment. ‘But… but you are so glowed up already, you glewed up years ago!’

‘Is that a word?’ She squints suspiciously at me in the mirror.

‘Definitely,’ I tell her confidently, perching on the edge of her bed. ‘What’s brought this on anyway?’

She shrugs, not making eye contact. ‘I don’t know. I just want to be sexy and mature.’

I’m flummoxed. ‘You are sexy and mature,’ I say, adding, ‘I mean, gross at having to call you sexy but you’re, y’know, beautiful! And who the hell rates maturity?’

She pouts. ‘I don’t feel it! I just…’ She looks down. ‘I’ve never really felt sexy.’

Shawn, I think to myself. If my beautiful little baby deer of a sister doesn’t feel attractive, it’s because her oblivious knobhead boyfriend is an oblivious knobhead.

I sigh, feeling helpless.

I am desperate for Toni to break the cycles of self-hatred. I don’t want her to go through the same self-loathing spirals I’ve had to deal with my whole life. I want her to easily love who she is and feel strong enough to be the person she wants to be, vibrantly and without self-doubt.

‘Honestly, you’re gorgeous and lovely,’ I tell her as sincerely as I can. ‘And most importantly you’re kind. That’s the best thing to be.’

It’s so easy to say these things to the people we love – to see their beauty and brilliance – but why is it so hard to internalize?

‘OK,’ she inhales deeply, standing straighter. ‘So no fringe then?’

‘At least not a bedroom fringe,’ I tell her with a smile. ‘Especially since it’s time to go.’

When we arrive at dinner, everyone else is already seated. Flustered and a bit sweaty despite the freezing mid-November temperatures outside, I take my seat beside Myfanwy and Sonali. They are distracted ravaging the bread basket and for a moment I feel intensely lonely. Everyone here seems to be with someone. Myfanwy has Sonali, Toni has Shawn. OK, so Dad isn’t here with Celeste, but the whole world is her plus one.

I’m suddenly struck by how much I miss having someone with me for things like this. How much I miss having Daniel at things like this.

He messaged me after his surprise visit a few weeks ago, apologizing again and asking if we could meet up for a drink when I’m ready.

And I want to see him, desperately. So what’s standing in my way? Is it just pride? If so, that’s got to be really dumb. I don’t think anyone would judge me if I went back to him.

Maybe Myfanwy, she’s quite judgemental. But she’s also very unjudgemental when you choose to ignore her judgement.

‘You know what this is, don’t you?’ She leans over now, interrupting my thoughts with a bread roll in hand, crumbs flying over me. ‘We’ve been relegated to the old people celebrations.’

‘The what?’ I frown, absent-mindedly unfolding the cloth napkin from its nothing-like-a-swan fold and laying it across my lap.

Myfanwy gestures around the grand room, where we’re having dinner in honour of Toni’s twenty-fourth birthday. Celeste has hired a private space in a Michelin-starred restaurant to celebrate, and we’re currently reviewing oversized menus with eye-wateringly expensive and eye-wateringly confusing courses.

‘I mean, look at who’s here.’ Myfanwy nods again at the rest of the guests. Aside from birthday girl Toni and Shawn, it’s just me, Myfanwy, Sonali, Celeste, several of my aunts and uncles, and my grandmother on my dad’s side. There are literally none of Toni’s young mates.

‘Hmm,’ I narrow my eyes.

‘We’re officially too old to be invited to Toni’s proper, fun celebration,’ Myfanwy adds. ‘We’ve been lumped in with all the sixty-plusses!’

Sonali leans in. ‘It’s outrageous. We’re far too young for a dinner. I’m appalled.’

‘Do you really think?’ I glance over at my sister. She’s goo-goo-eyeing with Shawn, while on the other side of him sits my mother. Who is also goo-goo-eyeing him. ‘Well that’s embarrassing,’ I comment and Myfanwy gives me a sideways look.

‘The fact that we’re too old to party with twenty-somethings, or the way Celeste is all over Shawn?’

‘Both,’ I grimace. ‘To be fair, Celeste does do this. I’m having flashbacks to how she used to flirt with Daniel. She literally sat in his lap at my birthday last year.’

‘Oh my god, I remember that!’ Sonali snorts as Myfanwy adds, ‘No wonder he left you at the altar.’ She gives me another side eye. ‘Too soon?’

‘That will always be too soon,’ I tell her.

I watch Shawn across the table and sigh. ‘Do you really think Toni’s happy with him?’ I ask this in a low voice as he laughs in a sort of put-on way and throws an arm around Toni’s shoulders, squashing her into him. There’s always such an arrogance about him, as he reaches across people for the butter, still holding onto Toni who is forced to move with him. He spreads his roll now and chews on it lazily, smiling a little smugly as Celeste plagues him with questions. Then he – sin of all sins – reaches over Toni and takes her bread roll. Once he’s got it, I see him ask her if it’s OK, but that – to me – is even worse than not asking. He’s already got it in his weirdly small, sweaty hands. He’s already touching the bread roll. She’s not going to say no now, is she? No one would.

‘I’m going to ask her if there’s a young people party we’re not invited to,’ Myfanwy leaps up.

‘Don’t ask her!’ I pull her back down to the table, thinking of the vulnerable and slightly sad Toni I just confiscated scissors from. ‘Leave her alone on her birthday. If she wants to have fun without us, she’s allowed to! At least wait until the day after her birthday to make her feel guilty?’

‘I think you should make her feel guilty now,’ Sonali encourages, grinning.

‘HEY!’ Myfanwy shouts across the table. ‘Toni, are you having a secret young people party for your birthday that we’re not invited to?’

Toni looks surprised, still weighed down by Shawn’s heavy arm across her. ‘No, I promise! I swear, you’d be invited.’ She shakes her head. ‘No, I’m just having a low-key thing this year. I’m twenty-four now, you guys! I’m really too grown up and mature for silly nightclubs or bars!’ She laughs in a way that is not like Toni at all, glancing up at her much older boyfriend like he might find this impressive. He smiles down at her benignly, signalling his approval. I suppress a shudder.

‘Well, that’s depressing,’ Myfanwy sighs. ‘I was hoping Toni had a fun-ner life than us.’ The waiter arrives with our drinks, placing them down in the wrong order in front of us. Myfanwy reaches across me for hers before continuing. ‘Anyway, don’t worry, I have just the thing to get through this boring night.’ She pulls out her phone, glancing over at Sonali and smiling broadly. ‘We’re going to find different ways to expand Ginny’s spiritual thinking.’

I reluctantly shuffle closer as she pulls up Google.

‘Shall we get you a moon reading?’ she suggests, scanning the results. ‘Or we could visit another psychic? Or a palm reader? Past life regression? Or, ooh!’ she jabs at the screen. ‘This woman is a soulmate sketch artist. We could see who we’re meant to be looking out for. Or do you want to look at your nakshatra?’

She’s mentioned that word before. I frown. ‘My naked what?’

Sonali looks sombre as she explains. ‘It’s the idea that you can draw a line from where you were born – at the exact time of your birth – to the moon. The group of stars that line passes through is known as the nakshatra. It’s like a star map for your life and it’s very important for your astrological calculations.’

I blink at her. ‘I don’t think I need a star map, do I?’ I hesitate. ‘Would the moon reading help me with my period? I’m a week out and the hormonal anxiety rush is giving me heart palpitations.’

Myfanwy shakes her head. ‘Nah.’ She squints at the screen. ‘Let’s just keep things simple and find your birth chart.’ She’s already found the page she wants and Sonali and I lean closer to take in the website’s introduction.

A birth chart tells you the position of the sun, moon and planets on the day you were born. The exact second you came into existence can determine your personalized chart.

‘But what about twins?’ I ask. ‘Jessica and Elizabeth would have the same birth chart, those four minutes aside, but they’re so different!’

‘Don’t bring Sweet Valley High into this.’ Sonali pulls out her Vaseline for a fresh application on already shiny lips. ‘That is sacred.’

Myfanwy sighs impatiently. ‘When were you born, Gin?’

‘I actually don’t know the exact second I came into existence,’ I admit, as Sonali waves her hand.

‘It doesn’t matter. Do you know the time without seconds?’

I nod, continuing to read.

Your astrology chart – or natal chart – contains powerful information about the energies you were exposed to at birth, allowing you a window into your soul’s journey and revealing your strengths and weaknesses. We focus on scientific astrology—

I raise an eyebrow.

—to interpret the stars, allowing us to see the vibration you personally exude.

This can only be done authentically by people with experience and the appropriate certification.

‘I wonder how easy it is to get certified,’ I comment quietly taking in the next line.

Many people confuse birth charts with fortune telling, but it’s very much not the same thing.

Oh, what? I wanted some more cool psychic stuff! If this website and the birth chart had come up with six predictions that were destined to happen during my thirty-second year, I definitely would’ve believed in them.

Myfanwy taps past the intro to the next page, where there are a series of questions.

‘So, what day and time were you born?’

I glance at her, hurt. ‘You don’t know my birthday?’

She rolls her eyes. ‘I’m just reading out what it says. I know it’s… er, 22nd June?’ She side-eyes Sonali, who nods discreetly.

‘I was born at 6.02am,’ I tell her proudly. I know this fact because Celeste likes to regale strangers with tales of arriving at the hospital just before six in the morning after only half an hour of labour – with my head literally crowning. The nurse had to cup Celeste’s vulva, protecting my eager, slimy scalp, as they ran her down to a delivery room. I slithered out four minutes later.

Myfanwy scrolls down to more questions.

‘Where were you born? And what’s your relationship status?’

‘Why does it need to know that?’ I frown, adding dryly, ‘Is there a recently jilted box to tick?’

‘Do you think you need to have been specifically left at the altar to be classed as jilted?’ Sonali muses.

‘Nah,’ Myfanwy answers. ‘I’m pretty sure it just means suddenly rejected or cast off. Ginny was definitely discarded, ditched, dumped and deserted. She was jilted.’

‘Amazing alliteration!’ Sonali says admiringly.

‘Thanks ever so, both of you,’ I nod as Myfanwy continues with her questions.

‘What is your favourite activity?’

‘Is this just market research?’ I squint at the screen, tapping my top choice: reading a book.

‘Which of the four elements match your personality?’

FireWaterAirEarth

‘Shouldn’t they be telling me that?’ I ask Myfanwy, bafflement creeping in. She cocks her head, considering it. ‘I haven’t got the first idea.’

‘Well, you’re a Cancer – just – so you’re a water sign. A cardinal water sign. You’re represented by a crab.’

‘So, I should put water?’ I say anxiously, looking at Sonali for help. ‘Am I watery?’

‘Hmm, I don’t know, you don’t cry that much?’ she says slowly, sounding as confused as me. ‘And I’ve never thought of you as particularly sweaty. Do you take many baths?’

‘I’m not that into baths,’ I confess, feeling like I’m betraying a basic tenet of womanhood. We all like hot baths while eating yoghurt, right? I brighten, ‘Oh, but I do like drinking water.’

‘I think we might be losing focus…’ Myfanwy sounds irritated.

‘Sorry,’ I shake my head. ‘OK, shall we pick water? I don’t think I relate much to earth, air or fire.’ I pause. ‘Though, I do like air quite a lot? I couldn’t do much without it, could I? And I don’t like fires that burn down rainforests, but I do enjoy candles.’

Myfanwy loses patience. ‘I’ve put water.’ Her mouse hovers over the next confusing question.

Which signs do you get along with best? Choose only two options.

‘I’m choosing Aquarius –’ she clicks her own sign ‘– and Scorpio.’ My sister’s star sign.

We click through to the final page.

Your answers are being analyzed. We are calculating the position of the planets, the sun, and the moon, as your results are being prepared.

After another minute, a new page loads.

Congratulations, your birth chart is ready. It alone holds the secrets to who you really are and what awaits you.

Simply click below to pay ￡279.99.

Ugh. I glance nervously at Myfanwy and Sonali. I don’t want to pay for this. Do I really need to know my personality vibrations? But maybe ￡300 is a good deal to discover what the planets are doing to my soul. I am dying to know what my destiny is telling me. Maybe I can borrow it from Toni for now or—

‘Bugger that,’ Myfanwy interrupts, shutting down the tab. ‘You’re not paying for this horseshit. Half of it wasn’t even spelled correctly.’

It seems even Myfanwy has her limits with the woo-woo.