Date with Destiny

Chapter Twenty-One

I wake up, groggy and confused by a different bed, different sheets, and a different kind of air in the room.

Where am I?

Flashes of the night before fight through the hangover fog and I gasp, remembering snogging Mikey. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. In the middle of a bar, in the middle of the street, in the middle of the tube carriage. People tutting, people tsking, people loudly telling us to get a room.

Oh god, I’m so embarrassed.

Am I at his house? Did we have sex?? And if so, where is he? I blearily scan the room and realize with relief that I know it – it’s familiar. I’m not at home in my parents’ house, but I am in a safe place. Myfanwy’s flat.

I remember now. After abandoning the rubbish queue, we chased Mikey down the street. He was more than happy to go for a drink, and the four of us crashed from one bar to the next, while Mikey and I drunkenly pawed at each other.

I shudder with the thrill of it as I recall him asking me if I’d come home with him and my having just enough wherewithal to say no. I staggered home with Myfanwy and Sonali, where they installed me in their spare room.

There’s a knock at the door, and I realize it’s this noise that’s woken me up.

‘Hello?’ my voice is unrecognizably hoarse as Myfanwy’s face appears around the door.

‘You’re awake!’ she says far too brightly.

‘I think so…’ I blink hazily at her as she enters, wearing Rudolph pyjamas.

‘Is it Christmas?’ I ask sincerely, honestly unable to fathom what’s happening.

‘Not for a few more weeks, but these are so cosy,’ she says happily, picking up the covers and climbing into bed with me. ‘We can’t afford to have the heating on these days, so it’s big, thick, flannel pyjamas for Sonali and me. In some ways it’s terrible for our sex lives, but it’s also quite fun rubbing up against one another in such friction-y material.’

‘Good to know,’ I reply mildly, realizing I myself am still fully clothed in last night’s outfit.

‘I made you a coffee but left it in the kitchen,’ she says, tucking the duvet in around her. ‘It’s too far away now I’m back in bed,’ she adds helplessly and I laugh.

‘Thanks anyway.’

‘Ugh.’ Myfanwy covers her face. ‘I keep getting flashbacks of you and Mikey being so disgusting last night.’

‘Don’t!’ I squeak, humiliation burning through me, but also a fizz of excitement. ‘I am so embarrassed. But,’ I pause, feeling something else, too, ‘I haven’t done that in so long. Not since the last time I was with Mikey, probably. It was so much fun.’

‘Well, yay!’ Myfanwy declares. ‘You have to see him again, without me and Sonali around, cock-blocking you. Time to get you shagged up.’

I check my phone, feeling a jolt of excitement at multiple notifications flashing from WhatsApp.

There are two messages from Mikey.

I had the best time xx

Then:

Can we hang out again this week?

And that’s where the fun messages end. The rest are all from Celeste, each getting progressively more shrill.

I know Toni’s not coming home tonight, but I assume you are? Please let me know what time you’ll be back so I know how long I’ll be waiting up for.

Ginny????

Please can you reply and let me know where you are, I’m very worried.

I’ve just spoken to Toni and she says you ran off into the night. I’m not sure that was very sensible. Do you need me to come and collect you from somewhere?

WHERE ARE YOU????

And so it goes on.

I groan with guilt and Myfanwy leans over, reading the messages over my shoulder.

‘For god’s sake!’ she huffs. But I feel genuinely terrible. I quickly type out a reply, telling her I’m safe and that I’m sosososososo sorry.

‘You’re a grown woman in your thirties!’ Myfanwy says. ‘You’ve been over here many times without having to check in with her!’

‘But she probably stayed up all night waiting to hear from me!’ I cry, horror-struck.

I watch as the blue tick instantly appears by my message to Celeste. My stomach flips as she comes online and my heart thumps as the dot-dot-dots start and stop several times.

‘She made the choice to wait up for you,’ Myfanwy points out. ‘You didn’t ask her to do that, did you? You’re both adults and she’s making a choice to obsess over your whereabouts. It’s her trying to control you – again! You have to talk to her about this.’

‘Oh god, I can’t,’ I wail. ‘I know I’m pathetic, but she’s so hard to talk to about things like this. She gets so angry and emotional.’

Myfanwy sighs. ‘And she’s allowed to have emotions and feel how she feels. But she’s not allowed to pile all those emotions on you and use them as a way to bend you to her will. When she can’t control you by literally telling you what to do, she tries to control you with her emotions.’

‘I really don’t think it’s as cynical as all that,’ I try weakly. ‘I don’t think she does any of it deliberately. She’s just been ten times worse since Aunt Diane died. I think Diane was quite a grounding presence for her. And then with me moving in and being such a wreck, it’s a weird time for her.’

Celeste’s reply comes at last and it is as damning as I knew it would be.

A single, yellow thumbs-up.

The guilt in my stomach curdles into pure terror. Celeste is next-level furious and I am going to get it so hard when I get back there. I sink further into the bed, pulling the covers up around my ears.

Myfanwy switches on the TV and locates the latest episode of Married at First Sight.

We watch in silence while I pulse with dread.

I feel Myfanwy still beside me. She’s preparing to speak. ‘I wanted to get your advice on something,’ she begins at last. I look up, waiting for her to continue. ‘It’s just…’ She seems nervous all of a sudden. ‘It’s… I, well…’ She clears her throat. ‘I wanted to tell you, I’m going to propose to Sonali.’

‘OH MY GOD!’ I shout joyfully before I can stop myself, leaping up into a seated position before remembering Sonali is in the flat somewhere.

Myfanwy laughs, delightedly. ‘I was worried you might be upset, after everything you’ve been through,’ she begins and I burst into tears. She looks crestfallen.

‘I swear I’m not crying because I’m upset!’ I say through snot. ‘This is all happiness, I swear to you!’ I wipe at my eyes. ‘This is just the best news. You two are so wonderful and kind to each other. Thank you for telling me.’

She breathes out, relief flooding her face. ‘You’re sure?’

I nod, pulling her back in for another hug. ‘Really, really.’ I pull away, drying my eyes. ‘So what are you going to do? How are you going to do it? What’s the plan?’

This is exactly what I need. A dose of my best friend’s happiness. Seeing her so delirious with Sonali makes the world a better place. Nothing could take away from that; not even me getting left at the altar.

She throws herself back into the pillows. ‘Argh! This is the difficult bit…’ She looks up at me. ‘And I was hoping you could help me with it. Could we talk through some ideas? You’re so brilliant at this kind of thing, you’ll help me come up with the perfect thing.’

Her compliments fill me with some indescribable emotion. It’s the nicest feeling because I do actually feel like I can help her with this. I know I’m good at this! It’s the best, loveliest thing, knowing I really can be of use with all this.

‘Ooh, and you have to help me with a ring!’ she says excitedly, as I nod, thrilled.

‘Of course! You could work with Zach on something bespoke if you like? He’s a genius.’

She wiggles her eyebrows at me. ‘Ooh, Zach’s a genius is he?’

‘Shut up,’ I laugh, swatting at her. ‘Do you have a ring in mind already?’

Her shoulders lift. ‘Well,’ she begins, sitting back up and repositioning herself so she is cross-legged and facing me. ‘Did you know Victoria Beckham apparently has, like, fifteen engagement rings?’

I raise my eyebrows. ‘I didn’t know that, but go ahead. Are we planning to outdo a former Spice Girl?’

Myfanwy smiles, ‘Always! That’s how I live my life. But it was more that I was thinking I might give Sonali several engagement rings. Maybe not fifteen! Maybe ten. One for each finger. Each one would represent the special moments throughout our relationship. Like, see, I could get a turquoise ring to signify our first holiday together, when we swam in this amazing blue water and I realized I loved her.’

I am trying not to cry. I’m trying really, really hard. ‘That is totally beautiful,’ I say in a quiet voice.

‘They don’t have to be expensive,’ she says, embarrassed by my too-pure reaction. ‘But maybe one of them will be. The final ring; the one she wears day to day.’

‘That’s perfect,’ I reply, blinking fast. ‘Because honestly turquoise stones are quite low on the density scale.’ I switch into professional mode, trying to pull myself from an emotional edge. ‘It means they’re a bit soft to be used as an everyday ring.’

‘Right,’ Myfanwy nods, amused. ‘I know you think everyone should have diamonds, but I want to go through every option, OK? I’m going to work you hard.’ She smirks.

‘Fine by me!’ I grin.

See, this engagement concierge thing surely has legs? So many people want help with their big moment. Maybe I should bring it back up with Celeste. But she was so anti the idea, and so caught up with her big expansion plan. She’s had her Love Island stars in the store twice now, talking through their genuinely hideous range. I assumed the whole thing would be an email swapped between agents, but I think the lure of working directly with Celeste – with a potential cameo spot up for grabs on Engage! – is too big a pull for a reality star. We’re also going to visit the new store in a couple of weeks. I’m dreading it.

‘And then once you’re married,’ I sing in a posh voice. ‘Of course, darling, you’ll have to start thinking of names for your children. Have you considered iPhone as a name? Or iPad? They’re very popular, I hear.’

Myfanwy nods. ‘Actually darling, I’ve been thinking about Hero Styles, what do you think?’

‘Oh darling, that’s captivating. Is that Harry Styles’ brother?’

‘No darling, it’s a headline on my new fashion blog.’

‘Of course!’

We fall about laughing, as Myfanwy rewinds the parts of Married at First Sight we’ve talked over and then snuggles back into the bed to watch. But all we do is talk over it again.

I am just about to fall back to sleep, my hangover humming, when my phone beeps. I hope it’s not Celeste again. Sleepily I pick it up, registering the name and feeling adrenaline zig-zagging through my body.

It’s Daniel.