Date with Destiny

Chapter Thirty

It takes me about four hours of tossing and turning to finally fall asleep that night. And when I do, my Aunt Diane is there waiting for me.

She’s sitting on the end of my bed, like she used to when I was a teenager and she smiles in the same way.

‘Hello you,’ she says in the same voice as ever.

‘Hiya,’ I reply like it’s nothing. I want to move, I want to hug her, but I am frozen in my bed. ‘How come you’re here?’ I say and she smiles again.

‘Do you want me to go?’

‘No,’ I tell her forcefully. ‘I really need you. I don’t think I’ve ever needed you this much, and you’re not here.’

‘Sorry,’ she pouts. ‘But I am here.’

‘You’re not really though, are you?’ I take her in. She looks real. The end of the bed sinks down as if a real, live person were sitting there. She’s got eyebags and stray flyaway hairs around her ponytail. It is Aunt Diane.

She doesn’t answer and I swallow hard, my throat dry and sore. ‘Everything’s gone wrong,’ I tell her weakly. ‘Daniel dumped me, you died.’ I pause. ‘You know a bunch of guys had a fight over you at your funeral?’

She nods happily. ‘Yeah, I saw, that was hilarious. I’m a hot mess even when dead.’

I smile. ‘Celeste loved it, too. You and her are quite similar sometimes.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Mum’s being a nightmare and destroying the family business we built up together. I got used by a cheating idiot, I scared off a new friend, Zach, by being a sex pest. And now Myfanwy’s upset with me, on top of everything.’

‘It’s been difficult for you,’ she acknowledges and I drink in her sympathy. It’s all I wanted from Myfanwy. All I needed was a little support.

I cock my head, remembering the holiday. ‘Were you there when we did the Ouija board in Madeira? I tried to talk to you,’ I ask, and she nods, smiling.

‘I saw you snogging that young man, too.’

‘Embarrassing,’ I acknowledge, looking away.

‘You should’ve called him,’ she tells me. ‘You deserve to have more fun. I don’t know why you give yourself such a hard time about the big life stuff. You need to just enjoy the silly little bits in between.’

‘That’s sort of what the tarot reader said,’ I tell her. ‘But she did it with pictures.’

‘I think you’re old enough to follow what I’m saying without a visual aid,’ she says wryly, arching an eyebrow. ‘I know it hasn’t been an easy year for you, Ginny my love, but it’s been an important one.’

‘Has it?’ I say desperately. ‘It hasn’t felt important, it’s felt wretched.’

‘I know.’ She reaches out a hand that looks solid and I want so badly to take it but I still can’t move. ‘But think about it. You were about to marry Daniel, which you now realize would’ve been a mistake. You wouldn’t have been happy with him in the end. Even the situation with Mikey was helpful. You got to put that relationship to bed, without taking him to bed – and realize he wasn’t a good guy. And I think having to move in here, with Celeste, might be the universe trying to force you to confront your issues with her.’

‘What about Myfanwy?’ I whine. ‘Why did I need her to have a go at me like that?’

Diane sighs. ‘Wow, you really are feeling sorry for yourself.’ She tuts. ‘Myfanwy loves you dearly, and she wants the best for you. That’s all her outburst was about. She has been your shield from the real world a lot over the years, and she’s probably been hoping you would build one of your own.’

‘Oh,’ I say, trying not to cry. I look at her, wondering if I’ll ever see her again. ‘But what about losing you? That wasn’t important, that was just horrible.’

She laughs. ‘That’s true. But it’s also just life. Things happen and you’re allowed to be sad about them, but you can’t let it dictate what happens next. You get to make choices – not about everything, it’s true. But you can choose how you react to things, you can choose to be brave and strong.’ She pauses. ‘And being strong doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help, by the way. Oftentimes asking for help is the biggest show of bravery there is. Nobody should have to go through difficult times alone, if they don’t want to. And I know it feels like it right now, but you’re not alone.’ I nod, looking down as she continues, ‘In some ways I think losing me might’ve been necessary for you. If Myfanwy has been your shield in life, I was Celeste’s. I kept her grounded in some ways, and protected you and Toni from the worst of her impulses.’

‘She’s been so much worse since you’ve been gone,’ I nod emphatically.

‘I know,’ she grimaces apologetically. ‘But you’re a grown-up, Gin. You can tell her to back off. You can tell her she’s wrong. You can even tell her to fuck off occasionally.’ She grins mischievously, ‘I certainly did.’ She shuffles closer and the duvet lightly bounces and musses around her. ‘You have to learn to stand up for yourself, my love. Focus on what makes you happy. Your friends, your work, Toni. It’s time to stop obsessing over those predictions, especially that last one. A soulmate can be anything you want it to be.’ She pauses, leaning in closer so I can see the pores on her nose and the mole on her cheek. ‘Ginny, this will come as a shock to someone brought up and brainwashed by Celeste Bretherton, but I’m telling you, you can be your own soulmate.’

She takes my hand and I can feel the warmth of her fingers as she intertwines them with mine.

‘And Merry Christmas,’ she says lightly.

I snort, realizing it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow. ‘Oh yeah! And there’s a ghost in my bedroom. I guess that makes this A Christmas Carol?’

‘Which would make you Ebenezer Scrooge?’ she enquires, eyes wide.

We both laugh, still holding hands. I close my eyes for a minute, thinking about what she’s said – all that Diane wisdom and kindness – and after a few seconds, I fall asleep. But even asleep, I can still feel the weight of her hand on mine.