Epilogue
Two Months Later
I can’t believe we’re really here.
The lights dim and a sign over our heads instructs us to applaud. We oblige – enthusiastically.
It’s my thirty-third birthday tomorrow and as part of my gift, Celeste has arranged for the whole lot of us to be in the audience for Crystal Ball’s show. Sonali and Myfanwy are on one side of me, while Celeste, Toni and Zach sit on the other. Plus… Emily. Our old uni friend. A couple of months ago, I decided to reach out to her separately on WhatsApp. We had a big, honest chat – one I never would’ve dared have a year ago – about the distance between us. She admitted she’d felt pushed out over the years, and gradually involved herself less and less in our group. It made me sad that she’d held so much inside for so long. Since then, she’s starting messaging us all more on the Uni Dicks Whatsapp group, and we’ve met up a few times. It’s been so brilliant to reconnect and we’re all so happy to have her back in our lives. We’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since. In fact, I’m pretty sure she was actually prediction number five – the person I thought lost forever. I’d assumed it was Flo, but, amazing as it was to resolve that awfulness between us, we only really see her when Zach and I are at family events.
The lanyard guy we met during our last visit was in reception to greet us, leading us to our special seats in the middle of the packed audience. It’s apparently the perfect spot – acoustically – according to my mother.
Zach gives my hand a little squeeze and I glance at him appreciatively. He gives me a flash of his smile, his teeth lit up by the studio lights.
God he’s gorgeous.
This is his first experience of Crystal Ball and I know he’s going to love her. Even though, as he keeps reminding me, he’s not really into this stuff. But neither was I, I remind him, and now I love it. I’ve become much more open this last year. I’ve downloaded an astrology app, and I’ve been learning about rising signs, moons, houses – all of that stuff. I’m letting a bit of magic and mysticism into my life and I like it. Oh! And I went wild swimming with Myfanwy and Sonali at the summer solstice the other day. I’m not saying I believe in everything, but I think it’s good to try new things. And it’s fun!
I did end up telling Zach about the six predictions, and he was intrigued, but he didn’t really buy into it. To be honest, open as I am to my spiritual side these days, I’m still not totally convinced.
So many odd things have happened in this last year. I had so many inexplicable experiences, but does that mean there really are bigger things out there? Does the moon actually have any say in how I feel? Do the lines on my palm tell me my destiny? Does the day I was born mean something for what I choose to do with my life tomorrow?
I glance over at Zach. Is he my soulmate?
Sure, it might feel like he is right now, but that’s chemicals, orgasms and hormones, not my nakshatras, surely?
Either way, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that… I don’t know. I don’t know anything, that’s what I’ve realized. And that’s probably a good thing. It’s hard knowing what’s coming. I was on high alert for so much of this past year, waiting and fearing; trying to second-guess the choices I didn’t feel that I had much choice in.
‘You OK?’ Zach asks in a whisper and I nod, excitedly.
This is just one of the things I’m into when it comes to Zach: he checks in with me a lot. When we’re out together as a group, he isn’t glued to my side. He chats to everyone but he will always return to see how I’m doing. It sounds like such a small thing, but it’s these little acts showing he cares that make me happy.
He’s also an introvert like me and I can’t emphasize enough how much easier that is. After those group outings, we both need recovery days. But I feel increasingly that I can recover with him by my side; he doesn’t drain me in the same way other people usually do. In fact, he recharges me in a way no partner ever has before.
Lanyard guy shouts across the audience’s murmurs. ‘OK, we’re going to start filming any second now, so get ready to applaud again – as loudly as you can please, folks! – when Crystal arrives on stage.’
I nod unnecessarily in the low light and he scuttles off backstage.
And there she is. The audience collectively gasps and then breaks out into spontaneous, thunderous clapping at the sight of her. She beams out at us, waving, though she likely can’t see much beyond the first row thanks to those stage lights.
Crystal quickly launches into her opening monologue, speaking to the camera like it’s the only person in the universe, before turning her sights – first and second sights – on the audience.
‘Here we go…’ Myfanwy breathes out beside me.
Half an hour in, multiple takes later, and the lanyard guy is back.
‘WE’RE JUST HAVING A SHORT brEAK,’ he shouts at all of us in his distinctively nasal voice. ‘THERE’S TEA AND COFFEE BEING HANDED OUT, JUST SIT TIGHT. PLEASE DO NOT GO ANYWHERE. I MEAN IT, PLEASE STAY SEATED.’
The entire audience ignores him, standing up en masse to shuffle off and out of their seats, heading for the loo or outside for a cigarette break. For a moment, it looks like lanyard guy will yell at everyone again to return to their seats but I watch defeat enter his eyes as he lets out an exaggerated sigh and slumps back off the stage.
Only our group remains seated.
‘She’s really very good,’ Celeste announces. ‘Maybe I will get her on my show after all. There must be some psychic angle we haven’t explored in the jewellery-making process.’ She looks thoughtful and pulls out her phone to note something down.
‘How did you avoid giving up your mobile?’ Emily leans over, intrigued. The rest of us had to hand over our devices to put into a plastic bag with a cloakroom tag.
Celeste gives her a withering stare. ‘I’m a celebrity,’ she says as if no other explanation is required. Emily nods, accepting this and sitting back, engaging Sonali on the other side of her in conversation instead.
‘Crystal’s brilliant,’ Myfanwy breathes, happily.
‘It’s great fun!’ Zach says generously.
‘I love her,’ I declare, looking around. ‘This is the best birthday present ever, thank you so much everyone.’
Sonali eyeballs me. ‘Maybe if she zeroes in on us, you’ll get a new set of predictions for your thirty-third year,’ she suggests excitedly and I grimace.
‘Sorry, but I really hope not. This has been the most dramatic, bizarre, telenovel-y year of my life. I want my next year to be quiet and peaceful, thank you.’
‘But you do believe now, right?’ Myfanwy quizzes me, frowning. ‘You do believe in the predictions she gave you?’
‘Hmm,’ I begin, unsure how to explain how I feel about the whole thing.
‘Oh my god,’ she cries, ‘You have to, surely!
‘She doesn’t have to!’ Emily interjects as Sonali adds in a murmur, ‘And don’t call her Shirley.’
Emily leans in. ‘Much of what happened can be attributed to coincidence,’ she points out. ‘Or, indeed, seeing what suited you. It’s called confirmation bias. You see what you want to see and then everything else appears to be proof of what you already believe.’
‘You are newly back in the fold,’ Myfanwy tells her archly, but with a smile. ‘You weren’t here for any of the shit that went down.’ She shakes her head determinedly. ‘It was all too much. Too real. You can’t deny it. You had the three losses: a break-up, a death and your flat.’ She counts them off on her fingers.
‘Aren’t you a science teacher?’ Zach raises a single eyebrow quizzically, and she snorts.
‘Are you saying that just because I believe in evolution and know the periodic table, I can’t also believe in the mystical universe?’ She adds playfully, ‘What a joyless life you must endure, Zach.’
‘It is horribly joyless,’ he says, grinning at me.
Myfanwy continues, ignoring her detractors. ‘Then you had your three gains. You had your life-changing trip with the mushrooms, when you realized you were never getting back with Daniel,’ she throws Zach an apologetic glance at the mention of my ex before moving smoothly on, ‘and then you had the return of someone you thought you’d lost forever.’ She nods at Emily, who rolls her eyes. ‘And then you also found your soulmate! Duh!’
I duck my head, mortified at the mention of this one.
Zach and I have said we love each other and are having the most amazing time together, but soulmates is still a terrifying concept. Plus, how, like humiliating if he thinks I’ve been telling Myfanwy he’s The One or whatever.
‘How can you still be denying the truth?’ Myfanwy sounds exasperated. ‘And if you didn’t think Crystal was on the level, why did we even go searching for her? Why are we here today?’
‘I’m not saying I don’t believe it…’ I begin slowly. ‘And I don’t know why I wanted to find her. I think I just wanted answers, I wanted certainty. I thought she could reassure me.’
The truth is, ultimately, I think what I wanted from Crystal Ball wasn’t anything to do with my predictions, really. I think the real, honest – too honest – truth of it is that I wanted to know everything was going to be OK. That’s all. I wanted her to tell me my life was going to work out. That I would be happy and make others happy. I just wanted to know I would be all right.
But none of us can really know that. Life is full of bad and good. Whether there is such a thing as fate or destiny, we have to ride the weird train. If we try to second-guess what’s coming, we’ll never get anywhere because we’ll be too afraid to take the steps we have to take.
‘Well, I think you’re a bunch of cynics,’ Myfanwy declares, folding her arms crossly and slumping in her seat.
Sonali snuggles in. ‘I believe,’ she tells her loyally and my insides turn to lovely mush as I watch them smile at each other in their special way.
They’ve set a wedding date for next summer. I’m the best man. The best person.
Oh! And I’m getting a dog! All by myself!
I’m picking Kirstie the Cavapoo up in a few weeks and I can’t wait.
Maybe down the road, if Zach and I end up living together or whatever, we can get Phil, too. But I have a feeling Kirstie’s going to realize she doesn’t need Phil and that she’s perfectly complete and happy without him. I guess we’ll see. You never know what the future holds. Right?
A figure appears beside us and I start to move my legs so they can get past, when I realize who it is.
‘Oh my god, Dad!’ I squeal. I leap up to wrap my arms around him and he laughs.
‘Not too tight!’ he says, sounding a bit squeezed. ‘I’m very jetlagged.’
‘How did you…? Where did you come from?’ I ask, confused and glancing around. Everyone else looks smug, which means they knew he was coming along to surprise me.
‘Happy birthday, darling!’ he ruffles my hair annoyingly and I giggle.
‘I can’t believe you came!’
Myfanwy and the rest all shuffle down one seat as Dad greets Celeste, kissing her on the lips. Their mutual affection is clear to see.
‘Of course, Ginny,’ he smiles fondly at me. ‘And I’m going to be home a lot more from here on out.’ He glances at Celeste. ‘We’ve decided it’s time to take the plunge with lab-grown diamonds here in the UK!’
I squeal at this. It’s something I’ve been pitching to them for a while now and I can’t believe they’re finally doing it. Dad nods. ‘I know, I know, you’ve been telling us for ages it’s the best way to ethically produce stones, so we’re formally investing in a London lab. We’ve got more money to play with since we shut down the new store.’
Celeste leans in. ‘I took a leaf out of your book, Ginny, and told Daddy the truth about how lonely I’ve been without him.’ She looks at me pointedly. ‘And there’s money rolling in thanks to the huge success of our new engagement concierge!’
Dad beams happily. ‘So I won’t have to travel nearly so much going forward.’
‘That’s brilliant!’ I say, feeling emotional.
‘It is brilliant,’ he confirms, glancing at Celeste with big, loving eyes before glancing back at the stage. ‘So anyway, what have I missed?’ he asks, as the audience starts to file back in around us. I spot the lanyard guy watching everyone return, relief on his face.
‘COUPLE OF MINUTES, FOLKS!’ he yells, and people start moving a little faster.
‘Oh, Dad, the first half was awesome. Crystal Ball is amazing,’ I enthuse, waving at the stage. ‘They took a break from filming so we were just chatting about how, er, mad my thirty-second year has been!’ I laugh and Myfanwy leans into my dad.
‘We were talking about her six predictions, y’know? The psychic predictions from when Ginny was a teenager?’ She narrows her eyes at me. ‘And how they were definitely true and real.’
Dad looks surprised. ‘God, I’d totally forgotten about that!’ He glances at me. ‘Do you remember I was with you that day at the funfair?’
Around us, people are finally seated and the lights get lower.
‘You were?’ I ask, shocked, trying to place him in my memories of that day.
‘You’ve forgotten,’ he laughs. ‘I took you to the fair and then thought I’d have a wander about with you.’ He laughs again. ‘You were very embarrassed. But then you were seventeen, so that’s fair enough.’
‘Sixteen,’ I correct him.
‘QUIETEN DOWN NOW EVERYONE, PLEASE!’ Lanyard guy shouts desperately as the voices around us become whispers.
In a lowered voice, Dad answers. ‘No, you were definitely seventeen, Gin. I remember because I was teaching you to drive at the time. We did a lesson on the way to the funfair.’ He pauses. ‘I think you’re confusing your age with how long the fortune teller said it would be before the predictions came true.’
I frown. ‘What do you mean?’ I whisper as around us everyone falls silent.
In the near-darkness he leans closer. ‘Don’t you remember? She said it would be sixteen years until the six predictions came true. She said that a few times, I remember that very well. She said they’d begin after your birthday.’
The lanyard guy cues us and the room erupts again into applause as Crystal Ball retakes the stage.
‘But that would mean…’ My frown deepens, my mind whizzing as I process what he’s saying. Have I? I couldn’t have…? Surely not? But if he was there with me, as an adult… and he remembers so clearly…
Dad leans in. ‘No wonder you’ve all been talking about those predictions tonight, given it’s your birthday tomorrow, Gin! I can’t believe you’re turning thirty-three – the year it’s all meant to come true! You must be very excited.’
I stare at him in pure dismay. I’m too far gone, too astonished by his words, so I don’t notice Crystal Ball until she’s upon us.
‘YOU,’ she shouts, pointing directly at me.
‘Oh god no,’ I whisper as every head in the room turns in my direction. ‘Not again…’