Dead Rockstar (The Dead Rockstar Trilogy Book 1)

Chapter 18

Phillipand I turned to each other, the shock in his eyes mirroring my own. “I...” I fumbled for words. “You”re telling me that Lee is like...Phillip? He died and was brought back?”

“Yes,” she said simply, lighting another cigarette even though she”d just put one out. Her expression was almost bored, as though this were a subject she discussed daily and was sick to death of. “I”m the one who brought him back.”

“With the same spell?” I asked. I knew she had magic. I’d somehow known, from the beginning, that she’d been the one who bound Phillip and me. So why had we assumed that the spell had been Guthrie”s? It was as though I could see the strands of it in her aura, the almost imperceptible light-blue haze that seemed to float around the porch. She caught my stare and I looked away first.

“Yes,” she said. “When he died…” her voice caught. “…I didn”t even think twice. There was no way I could let my son go. He was too young; I couldn”t bear it. Such a stupid accident.” She didn”t elaborate, but I closed my eyes, suddenly overcome with images that seemed real…a car pushed into the wrong lane, crushed metal and flames, blood in the road, mingling with tiny shards of glass, glinting in the late-day sun, the sounds of ear-splitting screams and the wail of an ambulance siren. A shock of pale, sandy blond hair over a lifeless face. I shuddered and opened my eyes. Lydia was staring at me intently, her face full of a deep sadness.

“How long?” I asked, though I wasn”t sure it mattered.

“He died five years ago,” she said. “When he was twenty-two.”

I marveled. That explained why Lee seemed so young to me; his boyish face, his gentle nature. He might be nearing thirty, but in some ways, he was stunted as a young man of twenty-two. Yet another thing I’d wondered about but hadn’t brought up to Phillip yet. Would he age? Now that his clock had started back up, would it move forward? Or would he forever be young, destined to watch me grow old, like some kind of bloodless vampire?

Lydia cut into my thoughts. “Oh yes, they age. Don”t worry. They aren”t immortal.” She puffed on her cigarette. “But it”s slower for them than it is for us. The second time around, it seems you get longer.”

Phillip was oddly silent next to me, digesting this new information.

“The problem, Fee, is that there”s only so much of this magic. It”s not infinite, but a resource that can be exhausted. And the magic is running dangerously low.”

“I don”t follow.”

“Not every witch can be a necromancer. It”s not something we all know how to do. Guthrie is a warlock, but he was never able to do it. I could.” Her chest puffed out proudly. “I think a part of him never really believed I had the power. Thought I was just holding something over him, exaggerating my abilities. That”s why he was so free with them, giving them away. When I found out he”d given my spell to Phillip here, over something as base as drugs, I was furious. When I found out the fool had put it on an album cover…” She looked at Phillip with deep disdain. “It was one of the many times I left my husband.”

“So Guthrie didn’t take it any more seriously than Phillip did,” I said.

She nodded. “It wasn”t until Lee died and I brought him back that Guthrie understood that I”d had this power for real, that it was legitimate. He suddenly realized that all along I”d been the powerful witch, and he the novice.”

“Sour grapes?” I asked.

“You don”t know the half of it,” she said with a rueful smile. “Men never take it well when they find out their women are more powerful than them. And yet, so often, it”s true.” She paused. “Oh, once he knew I was legit, he tried to get back in touch, tried to reconcile his relationship with his son. I told him where to shove it.”

“Lee didn”t, though.”

“Lee loves his father, despite knowing his failings. He”s young and can”t be blamed.” Lydia’s mouth was pursed and uncomfortable. I could understand why she felt so protective of her son. Any mother would but added to the mix was the fact that Lee was like Phillip, and therefore even more in need of her protection. Still, from what the woman had said, Guthrie was an opportunistic, manipulative shithead who had never taken her powers seriously. I could see why Lee would feel forced to do his father’s bidding, but why had Lydia helped if she hated Guthrie so much, if he’d disrespected her so?

Phillip looked at me with a grim smile; he was thinking the same thing. He leaned over and kissed my forehead, his hair tickling my face. His lips were cold. “So I think we’re up to speed - the spell is yours, Guthrie is an asshole, I’m an asshole, Stormy tapped into the magic by accident, blah blah – poof, here I am.” He tapped at his knee impatiently. “Why is Guthrie hiring goons to follow us around, and if you hate him so much, why are you helping him? Because we insulted your magic or the goddess or whatever? Because we stole from you?”

“No,” she said. “I’m not helping him. I’m trying to set things right. Because you”ve upset the balance.”

“How?”

“I was so angry when he gave that spell to you,” she said, her face taking on a dreamy quality as though she hadn”t heard us. “But even I figured it wouldn”t be a problem. I never dreamed that anyone would be powerful enough, or smart enough, to decipher it.” She glowered at Phillip and turned back to me. “It”s so rare an ability in a witch that we figured there was no chance someone would find it, know what it was, recite it and actually have the power to bring it to fruition.”

“But Stormy did it,” Phillip said in a low voice.

She nodded. “Yes, she did. As I”ve said, there is only a finite amount of this magic available. You can”t just repeat that spell willy-nilly and bring back a dozen people. I don”t know why that is, if it”s the universe trying to regulate or balance its energies or what, but there can only be so many reanimated people at one time.”

“So?” I said.

“So,” she said, looking at us as if we were the dumbest people alive, “I was planning to bring myself back. Now I can”t. Because of you two.”

I stared at her with my mouth wide open. Phillip”s hand in mine had started to sweat.

“I”m in very bad health – I have cancer, in case you didn”t realize, though I figure you can see it in my aura – and I doubt I”ll last another month. I”ve hung on as long as I can, but I can”t hang on much longer, and after I die, Lee is going to bring me back. I”ve been training him for that very purpose.”

I stared at Phillip in horror. His face was grim, but he didn”t speak.

“Only there”s not enough magic left in the spell now. And because of this unexpected...” She gestured at Phillip again. “...snag...well, I”m in a bit of a dilemma.”

Phillip was quiet for a long moment, but I could feel his anger coming off him in waves. She must have felt it too. He was quietly seething. After another moment, he said in the same low voice, “So let me get this right. Your husband stiffs me out of some cash and gives me a spell in payment because he has such little respect for his wife or her powers that it”s immaterial to him. Turns out the spell actually works, and here I am, brought back, alive and well, and somehow you seem to think it”s Stormy”s fault? For doing a spell she had no idea came from you with no real feeling behind it? This total fluke is all at her feet? Even though you”ve used it already to bring somebody back? You were going to be so greedy that you were going to use it again?”

“It”s my spell,” she said defiantly. “I wove it, I wrote it. It”s my magic, and I-”

“You allowed it to be given away. It”s not Stormy”s fault that this happened,” he said.

“I never said it was her fault,” Lydia said, for the first time seeming less sure of herself. “But she”s opened up something that can”t just be shut again. And that”s what she”s trying to do. She”s borrowed on my magic and now refuses to pay the debt.”

“The debt?” I shook my head. “Are you serious?”

“I can”t very well bring myself back,” she said. “And Lee isn”t experienced enough to write a spell on his own. He”s very green, even more than you, Fee. He can borrow on my magic now, but once I”m gone, he won’t be able to.”

I was confused. None of this made sense. “You could try and pool your energy with mine to see if we can”t build the banks back up.” Even as I said it, it sounded ludicrous.

She made a face. “That”s not how it works. You don”t even know how. I can see how green you are from here.”

“So we know what you want from her,” Phillip thundered. “What is it that Guthrie wants?”

“To use her magic for his purposes, I assume,” she answered calmly. “I believe he sees her as just another potential ‘friend’ to do his bidding. He has so very many, including my son.”

“Every time I’ve seen Lee, he’s just urged me to go back home to Jekyll,” I said angrily. “He’s never said one word about you or the spell or using my magic to help you. Or about helping his father, either.”

“I know,” she answered, stubbing out her second cigarette. “He doesn”t care about building up my magic. He worries, thinks it”ll exhaust me too much. He doesn”t want me to suffer.” She fixed an eye on me. “He wants to see you safely away and hidden so I can”t beg you for help and so Guthrie can”t bother you. He thinks he can do it on his own – save me, appease his dad, keep you safe, save the world.” She smiled wistfully. “But he can”t. He can”t do any of it. I love my son, but he”s useless in this, and he’s putting himself in danger. I need you to help him, Stormy.”

“No.” Philip stood up, still holding my hand. “You all have some fucking nerve. As if she asked for this. As if I asked for it!”

“You may not have,” she answered him calmly. “But Fee did, when she recited that spell.”

“Stop calling her that.”

“Sidhe and Fee,” she said. “Such a pair.”

“You and Guthrie,” he sneered, “are much worse.”

“Indeed,” she said. “We did not part on good terms. Lee comes and goes – he does some work for Guthrie, and I don”t ask, because I don”t want to know. You want to talk about black magic, dark magic – that”s Guthrie”s sort. That”s what he”s drawn to. Only he doesn”t balance it out.” She fixed an eye on me. “I don”t know what he wants with you, girl, and that”s the truth. But what I do know is that he”s far more dangerous than I could ever be; not because of any great power of his own, but because he’s able to get so many people to do his bidding. His charm, his ability to invoke fear…those are his powers.” She shook her head sadly. “I may have sent Lee after you, to try and talk a bit of sense, but it’s Guthrie who hired Shank, and Guthrie who gave him the go ahead to drug you and beat you.”

I squeezed Phillip’s hand, hard. A feeling of dread had begun to course through me. She was telling the truth. I didn”t trust her, but I believed her. And I had to admit, a small part of me liked her. In another life, I might have thoroughly enjoyed sitting on her dusty couch, learning about spells and hearing about the no-doubt colorful, mysterious life she must have led. I wouldn’t have minded hearing more about Lee, too; I’d never tell Phillip, but I found him almost as curious as I found his mother.

I felt Phillip tense beside me; I hadn’t been guarding my thoughts carefully enough. I’d never get used to the loose connection between all our brains. I squeezed Phillip”s hand harder, a silent warning not to boil over, but inside, I was smiling. Lydia was charming me despite myself. I could see now how Lee managed to be so disarming while doing all sorts of shady things. He had inherited that quality from his parents, one of whom had, in the small space of ten minutes, managed to almost turn me over to her side.

“I”ll tell you one thing more,” she said to me, her small eyes fixing on mine. “And you should heed it, because it”s a strong message I”m getting.”

“Oh, now you”re an oracle, too?” Phillip”s tone was nasty.

“Really, Sidhe. I must ask you to get control of yourself. And they say women are too emotional.” She rolled her eyes and turned back to me. “You played around with the tarot a bit, didn”t you, Fee? And now a certain card has shown itself to you twice.”

I gaped at her. “Ok, I”m listening.”

“The tarot is just fools” magic, a wayward spirit having a bit of fun. It”s nothing to be overly concerned about, only...” She looked at me curiously, lighting another cigarette. “So many people misinterpret the death card. They see it and think it literally means death – that someone is going to die, or that they themselves are dying.” She took a puff. “I imagine you saw it and interpreted it as Phillip – an omen of death himself, standing on your doorstep.”

I nodded. That was exactly what I’d assumed.

“That”s all wrong, Fee. Generally, the death card does mean death – but not the death of a person. Rather, it’s the death of something important, something you thought was finite. It represents a closing, an ending. Often a tragic or unexpected one.”

“Like what?” I asked. “Like losing my job?” I didn”t think Jean would fire me over my short vacation, but who knew.

“Could be,” she said. “But not in your case, I think. Something more personal, something you thought was steadfast, unbreakable. It could be anything, really. The end of a marriage, a betrayal from a friend...even losing one”s home.”

I sighed. “Well, one of those things has already happened.” I didn”t mention Tess. She didn”t know him, and anyway, she”d probably already seen it in my aura. At the thought of him, my heart felt a little pang. God, how long was it going to take to get over it already? I’d thought maybe I had a shot at moving on until I’d discovered he was now working for Guthrie, being paid to terrorize me; now the pain was fresh and raw again. It didn’t seem fair.

“Just keep your eyes open,” Lydia said, still puffing away. “The card wants you to heed its warning. Be careful who you trust.”

“I don”t trust you,” Phillip cut in. “I want to know how I can keep Stormy safe. That”s all I want. For her life to go back to the way it was.”

“As if that were possible, Sidhe.”

“Stop calling me that,” he growled. “And yes, it is possible. I”m going to make it possible.”

She looked at him with a small, quiet smile, and said, “You, my long, tall fairy, are no witch.”

His eyes flashed in anger. “But I”m the wild card in this game and Stormy is the one holding the deck, right?”

“In a manner of speaking.” Lydia fixed her eyes on him, a look of curiosity on her wrinkled face. “Though it”s hardly a game.”

“And if she hadn”t brought me back, and I wasn”t here, alive, walking upright-” he gestured to himself “-you”d leave her alone?”

“I’d have no reason to bother her,” she said. “I can’t speak for Guthrie, though. I assume-”

“I get it.” Phillip stood again, pulling me to my feet with him. He turned to me, cradling my face in his hands, and suddenly pitched forward, planting an unexpected, tender kiss on my lips. Then he kissed both of my cheeks, his lips rough and hurried on my skin, pushed my hair from my face with his long, graceful hands, and smiled. His deep green eyes searched mine for a moment, full of tenderness and unspoken words, then he kissed me again, even slower this time, his mouth searching mine as if he was trying to find the answer to an unspoken question. I kissed him back, but my hands were on his shoulders, half-heartedly trying to push him back, to ask him what was going on, but the soft, sweet feel of his mouth against mine was too much to resist. Lydia was watching us. I could feel the heat of her gaze as Phillip finally pulled away, his eyes still on mine, the expression on his face both sad and resolute. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing, but his look silenced me; his eyes said no. He stared at me, silent, for a few beats, his eyes moving all over my face, seeming to memorize me, and then he bit his lip and turned to Lydia.

I watched as Phillip reached in his pocket and produced a pair of kitchen scissors, ones I recognized from his old family house. I”d seen them that morning when he”d cut open the bag of loose-leaf Earl Grey tea; always the damned tea. They were sharp and glinted in the sunlight as he held them up.

Lydia and I both looked at him, aghast. “You say bringing me back upset the balance,” he said, reaching up and pulling his long braid – the braid I’d lovingly plaited with my own hands, infused with my love and care and yes, my magic - out in front of him, “so let”s remove me from the scale.” My eyes widened and my hands flew to him, but he was too fast – with one swift movement he opened the scissors, enclosed the long, messy black braid between the blades, and snipped. Lydia and I reached out, shouting, but we were too late. Phillip had just enough to time to blow me a kiss.

The braid fell to the porch soundlessly, followed by the loud thud of Phillip”s tall, heavy body as he tumbled to the porch floor.