Deadmen's Queen: A dark college reverse harem romance

Chapter Nine

Night was never a good time for me. When I was out with the guys, or working, I didn’t mind the darkness, but in the solitude of my bedroom, I hated it. Sleep made me feel vulnerable, and I’d worked very hard for years to avoid that. I would sleep with the lights on, even now, but only for three or four hours at the most. I had trained myself to survive on that. We had enemies, and so did our families. If we were to be attacked, they would come at night.

Enemies always came at night. I had learned that at the age of ten, when he started coming to my room. Back then, I liked the darkness. It had hidden his face, had hidden mine, and I could pretend it was simply a nightmare and not someone I loved hurting me. It had been six years since I’d built myself into a man and become undesirable, but he still came every night in my nightmares. It was like being dragged underwater, deep and suffocating, back into the dirty, degrading past I could never scrub clean. I”d jerk awake, gasping, heart a sledgehammer against my ribs, sometimes slipping into a full panic attack. They were more than nightmares; they were echoes of a life I couldn”t escape, no matter how many miles or years I put between that hellhole and me.

Now I refused to be taken unawares. Bast was an early riser, so I tended to wait until I knew he’d be up in the next couple of hours before I lay down. I usually spent the rest of the time reading, or down in the gym working out. Not tonight though.

Tonight the lights were out so I couldn’t read, and there was no way I was leaving the room. Tonight the darkness wasn’t empty, it wasn’t lonely. Tonight it was filled by the soft sounds of Paige’s breathing - a slow and steady rhythm that calmed the chaos in my head just enough to keep me from spiralling. Even without looking at her, I knew she was there, her presence a balm to the raw edges of my psyche.

The woman in my bed stirred briefly, letting out a sigh before rolling over to face me and settling again. I could just about make out the features of her face in the moonlight. I couldn’t understand how she’d managed to make such an enemy, that she was actually in danger, but here we were. She was utterly harmless and sweet. Who would want to hurt her?

I would. I could admit the truth to myself in the dark. I wanted to hurt her. Not like him. Not to cause her fear. No, I wanted to see my marks on her skin. A necklace around her throat, fingerprints on her thighs, my handprints on her delicious ass. I wanted to chase her, hunt her down, feel the racing of her heart under my hands as I pushed her to the ground and took her. Maybe I wasn’t so different from the person terrorising her, but I wanted her to want it too. I wanted her screams to be from pleasure, not from fear.

I swallowed, shoving the thought away as my cock started to harden. The hunt was coming up after the Christmas holidays, and I was both excited and dreading it. There was something about Paige that had me craving her, wanting her more than I’d ever wanted anyone, and with that came an immobilising fear that the strength of my desire would cause me to lose control and damage her.

She whimpered in her sleep, shifting restlessly and I was jolted from my thoughts. Her breath hitched in her chest, breaking that perfect rhythm. I watched as her delicate brow furrowed and she let out a small cry. She shifted in her sleep, turning away, then back, fingers twisting in the sheets.

“Don”t,” she whimpered, a small frightened sound that pierced through me.

I realized she was whimpering in her sleep, trapped in the throes of a nightmare. My heart pounded in my chest as I moved closer hesitantly, unsure whether to wake her or not.

“Paige,” I called softly, my voice barely breaking the quiet hum of the room. “Wake up.”

She couldn’t hear me, her cries getting louder and more distressed. Panic fluttered in my chest, but I ignored it, crossing the room and standing next to the bed, looking down at her. I moved closer, a hand reaching out to touch the silken threads of her hair. I hesitated, hovering over her. I wasn”t a good guy. I wasn”t the hero she needed to save her from the monsters in her dreams.

She cried out, reaching out in the dark and I caught her hand, pressing her palm flat against my chest.

“Paige,” I whispered softly, not wanting to startle her awake. She twitched at the sound of my voice but didn”t wake up. With more urgency this time, I said again louder, “Paige!”

Her eyes flew open then, panic-stricken and terrified, flitting around the room as if expecting some unseen danger lurking in the corners. Confusion clouded her gaze for a moment before it cleared and she focused on me, her face filled with such raw fear and vulnerability that all thoughts of my own fears were extinguished.

“Nate?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

I nodded, offering a small smile. “It”s okay, Paige. You had a nightmare.”

I let go of her hand, meaning to go back to my chair, but her hand reached out, grabbing mine. I instantly pulled away, reacting without thinking, and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

“Don”t leave,” she pleaded. “Don’t leave me alone, Nate.”

Caught off guard by her plea, I hesitated. The air around us was charged, potent with an intensity that threatened to swallow me whole.

“I need you.” The words came as a whisper, her voice trembling with fear and vulnerability. It was too much, too soon, and yet I couldn”t resist those wide innocent eyes filled with terror and pleading. Fuck. I cursed inwardly, my mind swirling with conflict.

“Alright.” The word was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Relief washed over her face and she scooted back across the bed, leaving plenty of space for me. My heart pounded erratically as I lay down beside her, our bodies mere inches apart. Her hand found mine again in the darkness, her fingers twining with mine, and this time I forced myself not to pull away. She needed this.

As we lay there in silence, with only the quiet sounds of our breathing filling the room, I felt a strange sense of calm settle over me. Like we were in our own private bubble where the monsters couldn”t reach us.

“That nightmare... it seemed pretty intense.” I murmured. “Are you okay?”

She was silent for a brief moment before responding. “Yes,” she whispered. “It”s just... it”s been hard recently.”

“I know,” I reply softly.

I could feel her trembling slightly beneath my touch and instinctively I wanted to hold her closer to me, offer some form of comfort. But fear held me back.

“Do you want me to get Tristan?” I asked, hating myself for being so fucking weak.

“No. You make me feel safe, Nate,” she murmured, and warmth spread over me at her words. I was a danger, a risk to her safety. Yet, I also held the power to comfort her, to make her feel safe. The thought both terrified and thrilled me. A war was raging inside me, one side craving intimacy, the other fearing it.

“I”m here,” I said quietly.

“Thank you,” she responded softly, her words just above a whisper.

The room fell silent once again, save for our shared breaths. Her”s grew softer and more regular, and eventually her hand went limp in mine as she fell back to sleep. Hours ticked on, the moon climbing higher in the sky. The room was bathed in an eerie glow that cast long shadows over Paige”s peaceful face. She looked so innocent in sleep, so unsuspecting of the darkness that surrounded us.

I lay there for what felt like an eternity, just listening to her breathe, watching the moonlight pass across her face. The tightness in my chest eased once she fell asleep, once I was in control again and there was no risk of her touching me, but I left my hand around hers as I began to drift away.

Almost immediately, my mind spun back into the past. Lying there, huddled under the covers, my eyes squeezed shut, praying he’d leave me alone if he thought I was asleep. He never did. The floor creaked under his weight, the sound echoing loudly in the quiet night. My heart pounded with fear as he approached my bed, his monstrous silhouette looming over me. I heard the clink of his buckle, and the sliding against the fabric of his trousers, could feel the supple leather wrap around my throat, cutting off my air as he dragged my legs over the edge of the bed…

“No, no, stop… please, no more..” I moaned, struggling against his vice-like grip, pinning my wrists down onto my back, as he dragged down the bottoms of my batman pyjamas with the other.

The memory of the pain had me jerking awake, gasping for breath, the memory of the belt around my throat still vivid in my mind. A hand settled gently on my arm, and I reacted instantly, rolling over and pinning my attacker beneath me, growling like the fucking beast I’d been nicknamed after. My hand found their throat and I squeezed tightly. Desperation and fear, pounding in my head, driving out any rational thought.

“Nate!” Paige gasped. Her hands scrambled at my hand around her throat, as she looked up at me, eyes wide with shock.

I blinked, easing my grip a little, but still struggling to process anything. She took a slow breath, inhaling whatever air I’d allow.

“Easy, Nate,” she said, her hands now resting on mine rather than pulling at it. “It’s me, it’s Paige,” Her soft voice filtered through the dark, twisted forest of my mind, like sunlight through trees and I blinked again.

“Paige?”

“Just breathe, Nate. Breathe.” I did, sucking in slow deep breaths, my body frozen in place, like I couldn’t control it.

“Paige...” My voice came out as a strangled choke. The words stuck in my throat as I tried to form an apology or an explanation - anything that could possibly excuse what just happened.

But there was no excuse.

“Nate, are you okay?”

“I”m sorry.” The words were a guttural rasp, torn from my throat with each ragged breath. “I didn”t mean to...I didn”t...”

“It”s okay.” Her thumb made small circles on the back of my hand, her touch comforting rather than threatening.

“No,” I murmured after a moment, the word barely audible. “It”s not okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked softly after a while. I shook my head.

“I can’t.” I squeezed my eyes shut, sanity finally returning to me. “It’s too… I can’t.”

“That’s ok too,” she said.

I opened my eyes again, looking down at her. She was on her back, her hair silver in the moonlight, spreading around her head like some kind of fucking angel. Her skin was white, and her eyes dark and shadowed. Her lips were parted, and my hand was still wrapped around her throat. I liked seeing it there, though I would never have been as rough as I had been. I enjoyed choking in the bedroom, but there were safe ways to do it, and this hadn”t been it. Still, the sight of her beneath me, my hand around her neck and the growing realisation that I was lying between her legs, had my cock starting to harden. Her breasts were soft against my chest, and my T-shirt and her underwear was the only thing between us.

My eyes met hers, and I could feel her heart beating a rapid staccato against my palm where it still lay against her throat. Something primal unfurled within me. Desire rose, sharp and insistent, stirring the beast within. I shifted slightly, feeling my cock press against her pussy and Paige breathed in sharply. I did it again, tormenting myself with the exquisite pleasure that was so close and so forbidden. She was Bast’s first, I reminded myself. And she’s a virgin. She couldn’t take my cock yet. She would be too tight, it would hurt her. She was too small anyway. Someone as small as her couldn’t take my cock… but fuck, did I want to see her try.

“Nate,” she whispered. She tilted her hips just a little, the tiniest movement against my hardness, that sends heat flooding through me. God, how I wanted her...needed her to quench this fire burning through me. But I couldn”t. I wouldn”t. I had to control myself before I lost myself completely. Before I ended up crossing the one line Bast had drawn in blood for me - Paige was off limits. And yet, here she was in my arms, her legs opening for me, her heat pressing against me, tempting me, driving me insane.

I rubbed myself against her again, my eyes locked on hers. She gave a breathy moan, pushing up to meet me. I was only wearing my briefs and a pair of sweatpants, but it felt like an iron curtain between us. I took my hand from her neck, instead capturing her wrists and pinning them above her on the pillow, pressing myself hard between her legs. She moaned louder.

“Nate!”

Fuck this.

I reached down between us, dragging up her T-shirt so I could see her incredible breasts, pale and inviting in the moonlight. My arousal twisted into a monstrous beast, lunging for control. Desire raced through me, obliterating any lingering remnants of my nightmare. I lowered my head, taking her nipple into my mouth, flicking it with my tongue. Her chest arched into me and she whimpered.

Desire swamped my senses as I teased the other nipple to a hardened peak, loving the way she writhed beneath me. Each caress caused a hiss of pleasure to fall from her parted lips.

“Nate...” She whimpered again and I looked up to see her eyes half-lidded with pleasure.

“Quiet,” I growled, returning my attention to her breasts. My fingers traced a path down her stomach, driving another soft whimper from her lips.

I slipped my hand inside her underwear, finding slippery heat waiting for me. She was wet and ready, so fucking ready for me. A surge of possessive satisfaction flooded through me as I stroked a finger along her folds. Her hips bucked as she gasped. The sight of her like that, so ready for me... I wanted to claim her right then and there.

“Do you want this?” I said hoarsely, ”Tell me to stop and I”ll stop.” I needed to know for certain she wanted this, that she wanted me to touch her. Ghosts of my nightmare floated through my mind. “Answer me, Paige.”

“I...” The word was barely a whisper, caught between a whimper and a moan. “Yes. God, yes.”

With a soft groan, I slid a finger inside her, revelling in the tight heat that welcomed me. I was so big and she was so small, that she felt tight even around one finger. Her body arched off the bed again and a soft gasp escaped from her lips as I began to move my finger slowly within her.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath as she writhed beneath me. My control was slipping, my need for her growing with every thrust of my finger.

The room filled with the sound of our heavy breathing and the soft whimpers that fell from Paige”s lips. She was meeting each thrust of my hand with one of her own, lost in the pleasure I was giving her.

I lowered my mouth to her breast again, taking the hardened nipple into my mouth as I quickened the pace of my fingers. Heat coiled tightly in my stomach as I felt her body tense beneath me. The sight of her writhing beneath me was intoxicating; it drove every rational thought from my mind. She was so small and innocent, but I could feel her body open up to me, begging for more. Her hips bucked against mine, her gasps turning into desperate moans. I added another finger, pushing inside and watching as she squirmed and writhed beneath me.

She was mine to play with, to control. And she fucking loved it.