22. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
Dash
My eyes snapped open as I sat straight up in bed. I’d had another of my ridiculous dreams.
This time, I’d been in Hell, or so I was guessing, talking to a demon dressed like a hip-hop rapper. I glanced around the room to see Keir. We were in our honeymoon suite in Mexico, and Aunt Josephine was with us. What the fuck?
Before Davy was conceived, I’d started having strange fucked-up dreams. In one, I’d dreamed of falling off the speedboat owned by Stephen and Reggie Hofer. I went somewhere—Heaven or Hell—and got to talk to my parents, who’d been dead for a long time.
In another, I was at Dearly & Son Funeral Home in the backyard fighting with Lily, Quinn’s wife, outside the funeral home. I hit her, and she flew through the air before sticking a landing worthy of an Olympic gymnast. What I couldn’t figure out was why was I hitting Lily?
There were more dreams, some turning into nightmares, but the one I’d just experienced was disturbing as fuck. I dreamed I bit Keir and drank his blood from the vein in his groin. As sexy as it was to experience my husband’s scent in my favorite spot, no way in fuck would I drink his blood.
“Dash, are you okay? Is Davy awake?” Keir sat up and kissed my shoulder.
“No, he’s still snoozing.” I picked up the monitor and showed Keir the black and white screen. Our little man was snoozing like a champ in his baby bed down the hall.
I pressed the button for the other screen to show him the image from Gracie’s room. She was sound asleep as well.
“What woke you?”
Lucy and Lenny were staying in Sacramento at the Westin during their visit. They didn’t stay with us at the house because our bedrooms were full, and they didn’t want to displace anyone. Plus, I think they liked their privacy.
I was fucking happy they’d left just after the kids were put to bed for the night. “I had a nightmare. Maybe it was a dream. I’m not fucking sure.”
I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to piss, splash water on my face, and try to gather myself. Everything was fucked up, and I wasn’t sure where to turn.
Once I finished, I slid off my sleep shorts and returned to bed next to Keir. “How about tiring me out so I can go back to sleep?”
I licked his neck and kissed behind his ear as he peeled off his boxers and tossed them from beneath the covers on his side of the bed. He opened the nightstand drawer and handed the lube to me as he rolled to his side and lifted his leg, waiting for me to slide inside him.
I quickly slicked up and gently pushed into his channel. I went slow since we hadn’t bothered prepping him, and once we were in a rhythm, I kissed his neck. “I love you. I’d never, ever drink your blood, but that doesn’t mean I won’t bite you.” I nibbled his neck and fucked him into the mattress. God, it was beautiful.
I lost my load, filling his perfect ass with cum as he shot off in my hand. Keir turned his face to me and kissed my chin. I had a beautiful relationship with my husband, so I was confused about some of the dreams I’d been having where it seemed Keir was injured, and I couldn’t remember if I’d been the one to hurt him.
I was lucky to have the man in the first place, me being a former convict and all, but I was also confused. Did I subconsciously want to hurt him and my mind created those scenarios where I saved him at the last second so I’d have his gratitude?
My first idea was to talk to Lily. Maybe she could make sense of this shit. She was level-headed and could probably help me figure out what was going on.
“E-I-E-I-O.” I sang along with Gracie as I made her favorite breakfast.
I woke up at six, just before Davy began jumping in his crib and yelling for us. I’d let Keir sleep in after we’d made love, though I’d been unable to fall back to sleep. That fucking dream haunted me.
The music Gracie loved to sing along with played over the sound system in the kitchen as I cut up her pancakes and handed her the fork. I quickly made a plate for Davy in the highchair as I poured the two of them more milk.
I sipped my coffee as a gentle knock sounded on the front door. “Gracie, can you go let Nana and Lenny in?”
The mild scramble at the front door made me smile. Gracie loved Lucy, and was a little sad my kids hadn’t gotten the chance to meet my parents. I knew Siobhan and Larson Clegg would have embraced those two sweet babies. I could only imagine Lars sizing them up for minibikes.
“Good morning, Davy.” Lucy walked over and kissed his cheek before she kissed mine. “Papa, how are you?” Lucy had a knowing smirk that made me smile. The woman was like a fucking psychic, which felt far more familiar than it should have.
How the hell did I know anything about psychics?
“We’re good. You guys okay at the hotel?”
Lucy nodded before she sat down at the table next to me. Lenny poured the two of them coffee and sat next to Gracie. “How’re those pancakes, my girl?” Lenny kissed her brown curls and grinned at me.
Gracie forked a piece of her pancake and held it out to him. Lenny took the bite and licked his lips. “Did you make those? They’re very good.”
The giggle that ruled my heart rang out like music, just as it had always been. “Papa made them, Grandpa Lenny.” She turned to me. “Do we have more for Grandpa?”
For an instant, my heart hurt at the fact that Lenny was being given the title of Grandpa because my father and Keir’s father were both dead, but truth be told, it was better they had a grandfather than not. Lenny was a good guy. I was sure he’d do the title justice.
“We have more for Grandpa and Nana. Maybe you can get Nana to wash your face and get you dressed while I make them?”
Lucy nodded, taking Gracie’s hand to lead her upstairs. I turned to Lenny. “Is everything okay in Monterey?”
I remembered back to when I was hiding out after being accused of killing my brother. I’d hidden out with Lucy, which was when I’d met Lenny. He was an incredible man who had sent an attorney from his office to keep my ass out of jail. Those were things I remembered, which was a relief.
It was the shit I didn’t remember that was starting to bother me, and when I brought it up with Keir, he always changed the subject. Something was going on, and I would damn well figure it out—or else it would drive me crazy.
Keir joined us an hour later. He wasn’t a pancake guy, so I made him a couple of eggs on toast. He stared at me as he ate, his face showing concern. I had concerns of my own.
“Dash, what’s on your list today?” Keir picked up his empty plate and took it to the sink to rinse and add to the dishwasher.
“I’d like to pick up my bike at Legacy and bring it home. I’m worried Quinn or Simp might get designs on it. What are you all planning for today since you don’t have a funeral?”
“I’ll hang around the house. I can give you a ride to the shop if you’re going to bring your bike home. Are you ready for that?”
I stared at my husband for a moment. “You mean, can I ride it? I believe so. Do you not trust me to ride it? You know I like to ride my bike, and I think I remember you going out with me a few times before we had the kids. Do you think I’m not able to ride safely now because of my neck?”
It had taken me a bit longer to finish building the bike from the chassis of the Knucklehead Keir had given me as a gift years ago. It was similar to my father’s bike that I’d given Fish, and even if I only rode the new bike once, I was happy to have it in our detached garage. It reminded me of something important in my childhood, and I never wanted to forget those memories.
Keir took my hand. “I do trust you to ride your bike home. I’m sorry if it sounded as though I don’t.”
I took his hand and kissed it. “I know you worry, and I swear I’ll be extra careful. Since Lucy and Lenny are here to help with the kids, I’m going to help at the garage for a while if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, you should hang out with your friends. We don’t go to the recorder’s office until two this afternoon. Ride your bike home, and we’ll go from here.”
I kissed his lips before heading upstairs to get dressed. When I came down, it had been decided that Lenny would give me a ride to the shop while Lucy and Keir went through the kids’ clothes to weed out things that no longer fit to donate to a shelter in Sacramento.
Lenny and I headed to Sacramento after a lengthy goodbye with Gracie and Davy. We were about five minutes into the ride when Lenny touched my arm resting on the center console. “Dash, is everything okay? You’ve lost some weight, and no offense, but those dark circles under your eyes tell me you’re a man with a lot on his mind.”
I sighed. “I think part of it is that I’m just restless. I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, and now Grace will be starting kindergarten in the fall and Davy can go to preschool, so where does that leave me? I’m missing a lot of memories, and I’m worried I’ll lose more. What if I have early-onset dementia or Alzheimer’s? Some other neurological disease? I can’t imagine how it would be if I didn’t remember my family anymore.”
That was really the crux of it, wasn’t it? I was worried I might have a brain tumor that would take away the memories I had left of my family, or worse, have the damn thing explode and take my life? What if I never got to watch Gracie graduate from high school or got to kick a soccer ball with Davy? I couldn’t begin to fathom leaving Keir behind.
“Son, have you gone to the doctor with these concerns? When you had that surgery on your eye, surely, they would have noticed if something was wrong in your head.”
Lenny had a point, but that was another thing. I didn’t remember the surgery on my eye. I barely remembered being in the hospital for my neck after I fell, and wouldn’t they have done two separate surgeries? It was a frustrating mess.
“I’ve been thinking about it. I haven’t said much to Keir about it, but I’ll give your advice some thought.”
Lenny turned into the parking lot of Legacy Cycles, and I thanked him and got out.
I went into the shop through the front door to see how Georgia was doing. She and her partner, Rena, had been fantastic about babysitting the kids so Keir and I could go out for dinner on occasion. Her oldest son, Malcolm, had graduated from college and worked at a software company outside San Francisco, while the youngest, Kobe, had opted out of college and was in trade school to be an electrician.
When I entered the shop, a familiar-looking man was sitting behind the desk, though I didn’t know why. “Hi, can I help you?” He gave me a nice smile.
“Yeah, uh, is Georgia here? I’m Dash Dearly. This place used to be mine. Is, uh, is Lily here?” I was a babbling mess.
The man stood and stepped around the desk. “I’m Adonis Steward. I’m Lily’s, uh, half-brother. I’m just covering for Georgia while she went to pick up lunch.”
Just then, Lily came in through the shop door. She was dressed in a pair of Quinn’s greasy coveralls and wearing those very high heels that I wasn’t sure how she walked in. “Dash, what brings you by?”
Again, a wave of déjà vu hit me. I turned to Adonis. “We’ve met before, haven’t we?”
Lily got a look of panic on her face. “Adon, why don’t you go up and get everything out for the guys to eat lunch?”
“Sure. Nice to see you, Dash.” The man left quietly as I placed my helmet on the desk, both of us watching as he took the stairs up to Quinn’s apartment.
“Dash, what’s wrong?” She was eyeing me as Lucy and Lenny had both done. I must look like hell.
“I, uh, I’ve been having nightmares. I can’t sleep. I’m constantly having feelings of déjà vu, like seeing your half-brother just now. I feel like I should know him well, but I don’t know why. I’m afraid I’ve got a brain tumor or something.” I was getting a terrible headache, which sucked.
“You’re not dying… Well, not yet. You’re a young guy, Dash. You’ve got a lot of time ahead of you. There are so many great things you and Keir will experience with your sweet babies. I’m jealous, but there’s no need for you to worry. The world is full of secrets that reveal themselves when we’re ready to accept them. Don’t worry, my friend. You’re going to be just fine.”
I chuckled. “You seem pretty sure of yourself.” Then, something popped into my head. “Did we fight one time?”
Lily laughed. “Yes. I would have kicked your ass if Keir hadn’t come outside. Relax, you’ll remember it all in time.”
She returned to the shop, and I grabbed my helmet and followed her. There, at the far end of the garage, was my beauty. She looked fantastic with her new paint job and those cool handlebars someone had made especially for me. When you looked at the bike from the front, the handlebars looked like a bat with fangs.
“Who made those handlebars?” I turned to Simp, who was standing nearby.
“Brok, that friend of Lilith and Quinn’s.” Brok? Brokorol. That was the guy’s name. I remember him.
“Lilith?” The name was familiar, but it wasn’t coming to me.
“Lily. That’s her full name.” He looked at me as though I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had.
Lilith... I remember! I remember her full name and—wait! What? She’s a demon!
“Yeah. You okay, man? You need me to haul you and your bike home?” Simp touched my bicep sympathetically as he watched me.
“Naw. You guys need help with anything?” I pitched in and changed a tire, lubed up a small minibike, and adjusted the suspension on a Harley Trike while Quinn, Fish, Simp, and Georgia went upstairs to the apartment to eat.
When they returned, I said goodbye to my friends and pushed my bike out of the shop to start it. I listened to her hum as I pulled on my helmet to head home.
There was no rush, so I took a few side streets. I drove by a bar I remembered entering once with Trent, Amelie’s husband and my good friend. I passed by The Mystical Palm where he worked, and a million images flashed through my mind’s eye.
Lilith had worked at the store. I met Lake and Jamie there when someone tried to rob the place. Seeing Trent’s grandmother’s ghost milling through the stacks. Seeing other ghosts milling through the stacks.
Trent telling me the funeral home was on fire!
I parked the bike and rushed inside. “Trent! Trent!”
He stepped from between the stacks, his hands wringing as he stared at me. “You’re remembering it all, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know what I’m seeing.” My mind was racing as a million images came at me all at once.
“ Keir! You need to talk to Keir. Let me drive you.” He went to his office, and I remembered being in there with him.
I ran out the back door and hopped on my bike, heading out into traffic without looking and nearly broadsiding a fucking delivery truck. I zigged and zagged between cars, trucks, and buses, and then I took the ramp onto the highway where I remembered riding a Ducati for a customer.
I didn’t glance at the speedometer. Images still bombarded me, but I was able to make my way home. I pulled into the driveway in time to see Keir kneeling by the slide on the kids’ playset as Gracie slid down, giving her a tight hug. I stopped the bike beside our detached garage and lifted my leg over before removing my helmet and placing it on the seat.
The front door of the house opened, and Lucy walked out with Davy, holding his hand as the two of them slowly made their way down the three steps from the front porch. He was still uneasy on the stairs.
When he saw me standing by the bike, he jerked his small hand from Lucy’s and made a dead run toward me. I scooped him up and kissed his cheeks before spinning him around. He laughed, and the joy I heard made my heart overflow.
Keir and Gracie hurried over to where I was tickling our son. Keir kissed me as Gracie hugged me around my legs.
“How was your day, love?” Keir stared at me, so much love in his eyes that a lump formed in my throat. It was the vision I’d had when I was with Jo and Michael the Archangel trying to figure out why we were fighting with a demon to save humankind.
I grinned as I returned his kiss before bending to kiss Gracie and then Davy. They were cut from us, these two beautiful children. They were who I’d been fighting for—or the promise of them—and my vision was playing out in front of me. That beautiful vision was the moment I was living right now.
“Now it’s perfect. “I remember it all. I remember our life and everything we fought against to get to this instant in time.”
Keir stared at me for a moment. “Are you sorry you remembered? It’s my fault you have those memories, love. I gave Jo the okay to take it all away from you so you could have a normal life. You didn’t want to remain what you were. You told me so many times, and I tried to honor your wishes.”
I stared into his beautiful brown eyes and smiled. “I’m not sorry in the least. We have a beautiful life and an incredible future ahead of us, I’m sure of it.”
And in that moment, I was surer of the future than anything I’d ever been.